Waasup dudes? How's it hanging? Thought I'd crawl out of my hermit hole and post this for you. It's probably not very good and goes about in a very roundabout way, but whatever. :) It's inspired by my castle and agents of shield marathons that I have been doing recently. The song is In My Veins by Andrew Belle, check him out, he is a very good artist. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel's Agents of SHIELD in any way, that honour goes to Mister Joss Whedon, nor do I own the song and lyrics to In My Veins by Andrew Belle.
Oh, you're in my veins,
and I cannot get you out,
Oh, you're all I taste,
at night inside of my mouth,
Oh, you run away,
'cause I am not what you found,
Oh you're in my veins,
and I cannot get you out.
She curls up tighter, hugging her legs up to her chest. Huge wracking sobs shake her body but she doesn't care. She doesn't care anymore. Why did I even care in the first place? She wonders, caring only gets you hurt. Her heart clenches when she spots the pendant he had given her carefully placed on her nightstand, a testimonial reminder that she cannot let him go. Every single person she had ever let in, had hurt her is some way shape or form. So stupid! I should have learnt by now. But little did she know that this would be the hardest love to get over.
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He had betrayed them. Betrayed her. What even for? Some owed debt that he so blindly believed he owed. She was still going through the stages of grief, the denial, back at the providence base, the meltdown in the bathroom when she first learnt of his allegiance to HYDRA. The anger, angry at him for lying to her, playing her and then hurting her. She had gone through bargaining pretty quickly, thinking of every possible outcome that could arise from him making amends, none seemingly as likely as the next. The onset of the depression was quick. No one saw it for what it was, all assuming she needed space to comprehend what was happening, all giving her space. Tripp was the first to realise, when she hadn't said a word in three days or eaten in two, quickly alerting Coulson and Simmons who forced her to say something and eat a little. They kept a close eye on her after that.
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She had managed to get some alone time, time away from everyone by telling them she was tired. it wasn't a lie she though, it was true, she was tired of everything that was going on, everyone saying that they knew what she was going though and how she felt. Well you have no freaking idea what I'm feeling or going though, thanks very much! She had yelled at Coulson when he had tried talking her round. Let the girl be, May had said to him after she had stormed off and slammed the bunk door shut. Coulson only sighed, he hated seeing Skye hurt, she had become a surrogate daughter to him.
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Now lying on her bed, reminiscing of all the good that once was, the family that she had finally found, ripped apart quicker than she could blink. A constant looming haze of failure and inevitability hung overhead, a heavy cloud, burdened upon her. A single memory resonates through her head, a speech she had watched on a TV show in the days after the whole Miles fiasco, something that she could very much relate to at this very moment, "There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not: everything eventually ends. As much as I have looked forward to this day, I've always disliked endings. The last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall, we close the book, you say goodbye. Today is one of those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We're moving on. But just because we're leaving and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us, they'll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our North Star, and the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. Always." She thinks of how everything is constantly changing, how change was the only constant she had ever known.
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She can't get it out of head, images flooding her consciousness. Images, memories of him, a mental assault of all the things that had brought her joy in the first few weeks of the formation of the team, her family. Him, smiling at her, putting up with her larger than life antics, playing battleship with her, she sobs uncontrollably. Stop it Skye! He's gone; he didn't want you she scolds herself mournfully. Yet I still love him, I will never stop loving him she thinks scornfully, why can't I get him out of my head? She rolls over, flipping down the framed picture of them on her dresser, move on Skye, he's gone, the last thought she has before she falls asleep. Of course that certain someone still haunts her in her dreams.
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It's months later when she's talking to Coulson that she realises that even though she's moved on, he will always be a part of her, influencing her actions, her thoughts. He left a permanent mark she thinks idly. She casually slips that thought into the conversation and is not surprised when all Coulson does is pull her into a tight embrace murmuring those soft words of encouragement that could only come from a father. Her outlook has finally brightened, after enduring the final stages of grief over Grant's betrayal. She still remembers all their happy times together and cherishes the serenity of the innocent days.
Everything is dark,
It's more than you can take,
But you catch a glimpse of sunlight,
Shining down on your face,
Your face.
Was it good enough for a review? :) ahaha have a nice day!