I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. I still want to own it though...
Naruto Short
"Oh my god!! Where am I?" exclaimed Naruto.
"Your at Candy Mountain Charlie....Candy Mountain" replied two high pitched talking unicorns. "Candy Mountain..."
Sasuke Short
After a long hard day of working out at the gym Sasuke went into the shower room, "Damn, that was a good workout." As he started the shower he didn't notice the creepy stalker pedophile walking up behind him.
"I got you now Sasuke -kuuuuuuun" exclaimed a happy Orochimaru, "your mine tonight."
Sasuke's face immediately turned to one of disgust. "NOOOOOOO!!! I'm straight!!!" he cried out
Sadly, there was nobody left in the shower room and the fatefull click of the lock was heard, Nobody could help Sasuke now...
Jiraiya Short
"Ohhhh hoooo. These girls will do perfectly for my research, especially that really thin girl with the long black hair, dam from behind she looks so hot, if only the steam didnt block my sight." mumbled Jaraiya of course doing his 'reseach', "I gotta get closer, this girl is just something I can't miss."
Using his ninja skills he snuck up on his target, "Closer, gotta get closer." he said determined.
Just a few more feet until he finally reached his target, "Oh baby come to papa." he thought.
However just as he was about to throw himself into the targets ass, his target turned around.
"Holy shit! Its Orochimaru" Jaraiya exclaimed, but it was too late to stop as he charged right into Orochimaru's pelvis all the while still screaming.
"You know Jiraiya, I've always dreamt this would happen" cooed an obviously aroused Orochimaru, "Jiraiya...Jiraiya are you awake? Oh well…more fun."
Another Naruto Short
It was Naruto's birthday, and the usually hyperactive blonde was nowhere to be found.
"Ino, have you seen Naruto?" asked a worried Sakura.
"Nope. Sorry Forehead I haven't seem him all day." replied Ino.
"Oh it's alright Ino-pig" said an obviously annoyed Sakura "I'll find him on my own then"
"Sakura, have you even stopped to think, that he might be at his house?" Ino inquired.
"Ino, if Naruto was that easy to figure out, he wouldnt be the Number One knuckle head of Konoha." Sakura replied.
"Alright Ino, I'll see you later" Sakura said as she ran off to look for the knuckle headed ninja. "Naruto where are you on your birthday of all days? " she wondered.
After having looked everywhere in Konoha she finally gave up and went to check Naruto's apartment
Knock. Knock. "Naruto are you home?" Sakura asked, after receiving no answer she was surprised to find the door unlocked. Cautiously she walked, inside everything was a mess, empty instant noodle bowls on the ground and trash everywhere.
"Naruto? Naruto are you in here?" she asked quietly at first. "Naruto! You answer me right now!" getting a bit scared.
Sakura continued to explore the warzone known as Naruto's apartment until she finally got to a partially closed door with light coming through.
"Naruto...are you in there?" Sakura asked.
"S-S-Sakura..." groaned a weak sounding Naruto.
Busting the door open Sakura charged in "Naruto!" she exclaimed, there was Naruto on the toilet clutching his stomach in pain.
"Sakura...can...you...get me...some toilet paper." groaned out Naruto.
"Naruto..." Sakura stated in a way that would make Madara shudder, "you mean you've been in here all day?"
Clearly irritated and cracking her knuckles, an aura of anger surrounded Sakura. Knowing what should happen Naruto flinched away from her. What happened next however surprised him, he felt no impact nor did he feel any of the anger Sakura was exuding just a while ago.
"Happy Birthday Naruto" said Sakura in the sweetest voice she could muster.
And there in Sakura's hand was the best thing Naruto could ask for...a roll of toilet paper.
Criticism welcomed.