Two Solutions
I could tell her. I could tell her how I feel…but it's so difficult.
I could take this, my weapon, and I could use it on myself…
It's hard to decide. But then, if I kill myself, maybe I wont return to the lifestream…the lifestream they say exists…the lifestream I've seen with my own eyes.
I wonder when these feelings first came to my heart? I suppose it might have been when I first saw her, the impish young girl, acting a fool, when Cloud was telling me of their cause, and what had gone on. Perhaps then, something changed in me.
But it was a day ago, perhaps, when it all really changed. We had just arrived at the Golden Saucer, and she insisted on me escorting her, in case there were nasty people about. I had tried to decline her offer, but she insisted, and done all manner of almost childish things. Eventually I conceded. I thought it was better than having her moan at me all night, which I was sure she would do if I didn't give in to her demands.
She was like a child. Well, she is young, and this was her first time visiting anything as flashy as the Golden Saucer. She made him do some sort of shooting game, and won her some sort of giant stuffed animal. She was all smiles.
That was when I felt it, I think. Something that has taken me until now to identify, something I haven't felt in years…
Love. I love her, I've realised that. She seems so innocent, and sweet, yet she has a naughty side, as it were. She plays jokes on everyone, tries to scam people into giving her bucket loads of gil, to sign away their materia…
But how to tell her? The only other woman I loved, decades ago, rejected me. Why shouldn't that happen now? I was good looking then, to a degree. I had power. Now, I dare not show my face, and the only power I have is in battle, in fighting an enemy…how could she love me?
But if I don't ask, how do I know? How can I know her thoughts, her desires? I wish I could, if only for just a moment…but I can't. I have to ask, and risk passing my heart to her. But what if she doesn't catch it, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces? What could I do then?
Why risk the chance of heartbreak? Why?
I go to the door, my hand resting on the doorknob. My gun is still in my other hand. My choice must be made now.
Go to her, tell her I love her, and risk heartbreak.
End my life, and risk the possibility that she really does love me…
I smile slightly to myself. I toss the gun onto the bed, and go out into the hall.
The princess and the vampire…we'd make for an interesting couple, that's for sure, I think as I walk down the corridor to her room.
I could tell her. I could tell her how I feel…but it's so difficult.
I could take this, my weapon, and I could use it on myself…
It's hard to decide. But then, if I kill myself, maybe I wont return to the lifestream…the lifestream they say exists…the lifestream I've seen with my own eyes.
I wonder when these feelings first came to my heart? I suppose it might have been when I first saw her, the impish young girl, acting a fool, when Cloud was telling me of their cause, and what had gone on. Perhaps then, something changed in me.
But it was a day ago, perhaps, when it all really changed. We had just arrived at the Golden Saucer, and she insisted on me escorting her, in case there were nasty people about. I had tried to decline her offer, but she insisted, and done all manner of almost childish things. Eventually I conceded. I thought it was better than having her moan at me all night, which I was sure she would do if I didn't give in to her demands.
She was like a child. Well, she is young, and this was her first time visiting anything as flashy as the Golden Saucer. She made him do some sort of shooting game, and won her some sort of giant stuffed animal. She was all smiles.
That was when I felt it, I think. Something that has taken me until now to identify, something I haven't felt in years…
Love. I love her, I've realised that. She seems so innocent, and sweet, yet she has a naughty side, as it were. She plays jokes on everyone, tries to scam people into giving her bucket loads of gil, to sign away their materia…
But how to tell her? The only other woman I loved, decades ago, rejected me. Why shouldn't that happen now? I was good looking then, to a degree. I had power. Now, I dare not show my face, and the only power I have is in battle, in fighting an enemy…how could she love me?
But if I don't ask, how do I know? How can I know her thoughts, her desires? I wish I could, if only for just a moment…but I can't. I have to ask, and risk passing my heart to her. But what if she doesn't catch it, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces? What could I do then?
Why risk the chance of heartbreak? Why?
I go to the door, my hand resting on the doorknob. My gun is still in my other hand. My choice must be made now.
Go to her, tell her I love her, and risk heartbreak.
End my life, and risk the possibility that she really does love me…
I smile slightly to myself. I toss the gun onto the bed, and go out into the hall.
The princess and the vampire…we'd make for an interesting couple, that's for sure, I think as I walk down the corridor to her room.