Disclaimer: I do not own Samurai X, although sometimes I wish I did…..

If I Cried A Tear

"Hey there, Kiddo!" Kamatari called as she (I know Kamatari is technically a guy, but please work with me.) entered her room at the Shrine of the Six Arches on Mt Hiei, Shishio-sama's Kyoto headquarters. "What's up?"

She could tell something was wrong. Soujiro was sitting on her futon, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around them, head down, and hands bloody. Never before had Kamatari seen him like this. He had been fine a few days earlier.

"You gonna answer me, Sou-chan?"

Kamatari was now sitting beside Soujiro on the futon. It was then that Soujiro raised his head. His eyes were glazed and there was a bluish-black handprint on his usually pale right cheek.

"Sou-chan. Did a girl do that to you?"

The boy shook his head in disagreement.

"Well, then who hit you?"

"S-Shishio-san…" came the whispered response.

This certainly was a shock. Shishio-sama had hit his protégée. No wonder Soujiro appeared so upset; after all, even Kamatari knew that, Soujiro looked up to Shishio-sama as a father figure.

"So…" Kamatari began. "Why are you in here?"

In an instant Soujiro had his arms around her waist and was crying into her kimono.

'HE'S LOST IT!!!!' Kamatari's mind screamed. 'SOU-CHAN NEVER CRIES!'

With unsteady hands, she smoothed down his hair; all the while inquiring as to why he was in her room with blood covering his clothes and hands, and crying into her kimono besides.

"I followed orders…" Soujiro whimpered. "No matter how bad it made me feel, I followed Shishio-san's orders."

"What were the orders, Sou-chan?"

"I was told to assassinate another high ranking member of the government and all in attendance with him…"

"And…?"

"He had children with him. I killed children, Kamatari-san!" He hid his face and continued sobbing.

"Oh…Ano, why's Shishio-sama hit you then?"

Soujiro faced her again. His eyes were dry, but his cheeks were soaked and that made him look as though he wore a terrified expression.

"I reported back to him, just as I always do, and I started crying for no reason in front of him. He told me to snap out of it and hit me, but that only made it worse. I'm a satsujin, Kamatari!"

"Well duh, kiddo. Why else do you think Shishio-sama wanted to keep you around? You're a perfect killer. I mean, you today, right?"

Soujiro nodded to her.

"Okay then! You are a killer, that's just part of who you are. Now stop crying, eat a piece of candy, and go to bed. Things will be back to normal when you wake up."

Soujiro slowly rose from her futon and walked to the door.

"Arigato, Kamatari-san. Oyasuminasai."

Kamatari stood up also and smiled at the retreating child.

"Hey, Sou-chan."

She waited until he turned to face her.

"Why come to me of all people?"

"I knew you wouldn't hurt me if I cried in front of you. Was that okay with you, Kamatari-san?"

"Uh-huh! Just try not to let it happen too many times, okay."

With that order Soujiro slid the shoji closed and retreated to his own room. By the time his closed his own shoji the smile that was his sanctuary was back in place.