Updating will be on weekends. I can't promise every weekend, but I will try. ^^;

Sorry for any spelling mistakes/typos/grammar errors. I'm betaless.

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"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just..."

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends ยจ...you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No ...listen, I didn't mean..."

"...to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole.

"No!" he said loudly, "Lily, please."

She paused, looking back at him with sad green eyes. "What could you possibly say, Severus? What could you possibly say to make me stay right now?"

He gaped like a fish, mouth opening but no words coming out.

Finally, softly as the whisper of wind, he whispered, "You're different because you care."

"I'd think anyone you called a Mudblood would care."

"No, not about the word!" he snapped, more boldness behind his voice. "No one else ever bothers to care about me. No one but you."

"Lot of good that did me, huh?" The fire in Lily's eyes was gone.

He choked on air as she turned around again.

"I'll-I'll do anything." His throat sounded like someone had rubbed it with sandpaper. "I'll give on the Dark Arts; I'll get along with Potter; I'll never touch a single Potions ingredient again!"

"Why would you change now? After so many years? Why should I believe you?"

"...maybe you shouldn't. But if you send me away right now, I'll become a Death Eater. I'll kill. I'll torture. And eventually I'll die. If you don't give me this chance, you'll spend the next few years thinking of how there was a slim chance I would've changed but you didn't give me the chance."

"...you'd really do it, wouldn't you? Give it all up for me?"

"I'd do anything, Lily."

She sighed as if incredibly irritated with herself.

"One more chance, Severus. One more chance at changing."

...

"We need to lay down some guidelines." Lily sat next to him the next day in the library, wearing her hair in a thick braid tapering down to her waist.

Severus nodded. "I know."

"First rule," she said, eyes on the Potions book in her lap as if regretting his reaction. "No association with Death Eaters without telling me what you're doing and why."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Second rule: You can study the Dark Arts all you want, but don't practice them, Sev. They're called the dark arts for a reason-they change a person after time."

He nodded.

"Finally," she said, "no fights. I'll talk to James about you. Just... be the better person. Please."

"I'll try my best, Lily."

She nodded softly. "I know this is hard for you, Sev, but it feels like progress to me." Her green eyes gleamed bright.

"So," he said as casually as he could. "..you've been speaking to Potter?"

She pursed her lips, nodding. "He's grown up. I think everyone's growing up now, with the attacks picking up."

"Nothing to close to home, I hope?"

Lily shook her head softly. "Nothing's been near Cokeworth. I've been owling my mum weekly to make sure. Everyone's fine."

Severus nodded, eyes on his charms paper instead of Lily.

"Don't-don't be afraid to talk to me, Sev." The look she gave him said she wasn't sure what to say. "I'm not trying to alienate you... You're allowed to an opinion."

He took a deep breath, looking up to her with dark eyes. His hair, a tad bit too long, fell over his face slightly, making shadows around his nose and eyes. He looked tired.

"I know, Lily. It's fine. I'm fine."

"I'm glad."

There was a long period of time in which Lily read, Severus worked, and neither spoke.

"So," Lily said brightly. "It's a Hogsmeade weekend. What're you doing?"

"I was thinking I would stay here instead. I don't really need anything."

"Aww, Sev, that's no fun." Lily pouted, giving him a pleading expression. "I'm going to go Honeydukes with some friends. It would be nice if you'd tag along."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Which friends?"

"Remus. ...oh, don't give me that look, Sev. He's a good person. Give him a chance."

He sighed. "I'm not promising to become his best friend."

"And I wouldn't expect any less of you," She said brightly.

...

"Really, Lily, I just can't see why you keep hanging around him, anyway." Molly Prewett said sweetly. "He's a Slytherin-Death Eater material for certain, and his own house doesn't even like him, not really."

Lily glared at her friend. They were sitting together in a comfortable nook in the Gryffindor commons area. "There's nothing wrong with Severus. Slytherin is just a house, Molly, and if they don't like him, it only serves to prove that he's different than the others of his house."

Molly nodded. "I know... He just... He's not right for you, Lily. You were just starting to be happy again. I thought you and James-"

"Everyone thought 'me and James.'" Lily rolled her eyes. "And I'm not in love with Sev. He's just my friend."

"Not to him," Molly said wisely. "He's in love with you, Lily. I swear it."

"You don't know him."

"I know what someone looks like when they're infatuated. He has been for years, Lily. I'd daresay you're the only thing James and he have in common."

Lily was silent, looking to the fire with a small frown at the corner of her lips.

"Why me?"