Hi people!
READ THIS SO YOU UNDERSTAND THE FIC: This is kind of AU. It follows the canon up to the point where the time jump comes. This story is happening about five years later, and as you'll notice, I made someone else the Kazekage before Gaara, so he's Rokudaime in stead of Godaime. This was just a random oneshot I decided to write one day, and so I did. Well, I can't think of anything else to say, so just enjoy, and please review. Comments make my day. Thanks in advance!
I don't own Naruto.
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If they had ever spoken even a single word in the past, he didn't remember it. But now, as she stood there in front of him, quiet and shy, he sort of wished he had. It would've made things so much easier, if they'd at least known a little bit about each other, because right now, all he knew about her was that she was beautiful, determined and a comrade of Naruto's. And that wasn't even nearly enough. Gaara didn't like not knowing.
Oh, he certainly did remember her face from five years ago, her scared but unwavering face with those green eyes that stared straight at him, her head held high like a fierce tigress. He remembered how he had crushed her fragile form, slowly squeezing the life out of her, and how she had struggled at first and then gradually gotten weaker, weaker... Her stature today was far from weak, and not only had her body gotten stronger, but her spirit as well. She was the number one medic in her village now, he had heard, not to mention an excellent genjutsu user. Her unique taijutsu style with those heavy punches and kicks made her even greater, and with her intelligence included she was most impressive. Unlike when he had seen her for the first time all those years ago, nowadays he could actually call fighting her a challenge.
The reason why she was here, however, had nothing to do with fighting. It was actually the complete opposite. She was here as the assurance of peace, sealing their villages' peace treaty, or actually, the way Gaara would have put it, as the seal. Wanting to make sure Suna would never again declare a war against Konoha, the council of the Leaf had decided it was best to use the old ways to ensure the treaty would last. After the chuunin exam fiasco from five years back, the next Kazekage had decided that Suna was finally strong enough again to, with the help of other allies of course, attack Konoha and this time defeat the enemy village. Foolish, Gaara had thought from the beginning, and naturally refused to obey the orders to fight. There had been others who had agreed with him, and so his siblings had leaded a rebellion against the Kazekage, and defeated him with the aid of Konoha. A rift inside a hidden village, Gaara knew, was of course extremely dangerous, and it was only thanks to their quick actions that things were over before there was time for a major distribution to happen.
And now, a mere month later, things were looking up. The steam had settled down and people were mostly back to living their normal daily lives. The dead Kazekage had obviously been replaced, and the one to get stuck with the job had been him, Sabaku no Gaara. The decision had naturally been influenced by Konoha, but even so, it was hard for him to believe that the people of his village were finally starting to accept him. For the fist time in his life, Gaara felt like he had accomplished something important. There were some who called him a fool for going against the war with Konoha and they also called the council fools for rewarding him for it, but he didn't care. His days spent in the shadow of Shukaku were over. He was finally, slowly but firmly, crawling out of that dark hell of loneliness and pain. He was getting more and more people to cherish and protect, starting with his siblings and his old sensei, his own former student and now chuunin assistant Matsuri, Naruto and Lee from Konoha, and now if all went well, his new bride to be, Haruno Sakura.
This treaty and this betrothal, demanded by the council of the Leaf, had been described on paper with airy, meaningless, difficult words, but Gaara could easily read between the lines. Basically, Konoha wanted as much influence within Suna as possible, and the best way to ensure that was to appoint a kage of their choice and have him married to a high ranking Leaf kunoichi of, once again, their choice. Some people might've felt offended by the strict terms of peace, but Gaara knew better. It was actually a wonder that Konoha hadn't decided on anything worse, and he knew it was only thanks to the current Hokage and the future Rokudaime (Naruto, that is). Suna had attacked Konoha twice during mere five years, and this time they hadn't even done it because some enemy of Fire Country had tricked them. That, if something, should have caused distrust, but Konoha had been understanding. Some people called him a coward, for accepting the terms, but once more, he couldn't care less.
Gaara stood facing the pink-haired, chosen kunoichi, and listened intently to the words spoken by the ambassador of Konoha. His siblings and the council were present, and so was the Hokage, and a few others.
"—and thus, with this betrothal—" Gaara saw the Haruno flinch a bit at the word, "—as the final term, Konohagakure wishes to finally seal this long awaited peace with our respected and cherished ally, Sunagakure, and—" He tuned out the ambassador and concentrated on observing his fiancée. How odd it felt, thinking that in a very short time, he would be getting married. He, Gaara, the monster, the tanuki boy, the pest of Suna, would be a husband in mere days. And of all people, to a girl he had once almost killed. Talk about a bad first impression. This was definitely not love at first sight.
Watching her face and her expression, Gaara started wondering how Sakura had ever even gotten chosen. By all logic, Konoha would've certainly wanted to keep such a magnificent kunoichi for themselves, but still she was here. By all reason, the girl should've absolutely refused to go within ten feet of him, but no matter, she was here. How an earth had she gotten herself into this, indeed? Gaara would have to ask her later. Although his expression was indifferent, the fresh young Kazekage was very much a curious person. Sakura would learn to know that, once they were wedded. He would demand to know almost everything useful about her.
Thinking about how Sakura was feeling had an unexpected effect on him, and for some peculiar reason it made him want to start considering his own emotions. Usually he hid them well enough to actually sometimes forget about their existence, and thus he had never, in this short time he had had to consider the terms of the treaty, ever stopped to really think about how this whole marriage business was going to affect him and his own, private, personal life.
Yes, how did he really feel about this? He was being forced to sacrifice himself for the sake of the peace, and that he didn't mind, but to force him to take a wife… Old ways might've been affective, but they sure as hell weren't fair. This wasn't only about his life as a shinobi of his village anymore, but about his life as a private citizen. Could their modern society really force him into marrying? Well… apparently yes. So, he would once more become the sacrifice of their village. He would tie the knot with the Haruno and get on with his life. But only this time around, there would be someone else there, always. Someone he would have to protect and tolerate, someone who would live in the same house with him and, at least in the beginning, share his bed.
This was the part he was most uncomfortable with, for obvious reasons. They would most definitely be expected to produce offspring, meaning this marriage truly wasn't going to be just for the appearances. A real marriage would mean real children, and kids meant sexual intercourse, unless Gaara was devastatingly confused about how babies were conceived. He'd have to have sex with her. Now where many boys of his age would've been jumping with joy, for a few good reasons Gaara wasn't. One, he couldn't picture himself doing it with anybody, least of all the pink-haired girl; two, he wasn't very sure of himself when it came to relationships, and going from a hated and rejected, pathetic, blood lusting, demon possessed murderer to a loving kage with wife and kids was plain frightening; and three, he had never planned on sharing his personal life with anyone. The biggest reason, however, was the fourth; he didn't want children. So it was easy to guess that, had it not been for his duties as the Kazekage, it would've been a big no for this whole wedding thingy.
Gaara's feet were starting to get restless, as the ceremony neared its end. The Hokage looked bored as well. Gaara had an annoying temptation to discreetly create a Suna Bunshin and have it make up an excuse to get out of the boring event, but this was something he just had to learn to deal with. As the kage of his village, he would have plenty of similarly mind-numbing dealings ahead. The "dying-for-your-village-and-protecting-your-people" part was the glorious and alluring bit of being a village leader, but how was it that no one ever managed to mention beforehand how tiring paperwork and formal meetings were? Lazy or negligent people were definitely not suited for the job. He wondered, how would Naruto do when the Godaime one day decided to retire? The blond would no doubt succeed in protecting his village, but did he have enough wits to get through the rest? When it came to battles, Naruto could even be called a genius, but on other moments… well, he was sometimes a little slow.
Gaara's thoughts wondered as he let his gaze roam the room and the faces of the people. It was a little too dusty in here, considering there was an important ceremony going on and there were a lot of "important" people present.
Was that drool on the Hokage's cheek? She looked like she was hearing nothing of what was being said. Had she perhaps perfected a way of sleeping on her feet with her eyes open? She was rumoured to be a lazy person… And that council member in the back… oh, that pimple looked painful! And straight on the tip of the nose! Above all, it looked… well, dirty. Never before had Gaara appreciated more his own nearly flawless skin. What a bitch it would be to, some random day, stand in front of the masses, doing something important, and then all of a sudden realise you have a huge pimple on your jaw. Fuck, talk about uncomfortable!
That pimple… Gaara just couldn't remove his gaze from it. It was so big, it was huge! Oh, he wanted to squeeze it… or at least cover it with sand… He had to do something, it just really, really bothered him a lot. Why the hell couldn't he look away? Gaara had barely ever had any pimples, and now he suddenly felt extremely grateful for it. Oh, for Kami-sama's sake, he was the fucking Kazekage, and he couldn't even resist staring at a single, simple pimple. But it was… Gaara could've sworn it was staring straight back. There was probably so very much of that white shit in there, ready to be squeezed out by—
A hesitant voice stirred him from his musings. "—zekage-sama?" Gaara was just getting to the part where they were all drowning in the disgusting stuff that just kept coming from the now cat-sized hole on the council member's nose, when he suddenly noticed the whole party was staring at him, wearing looks of uncertainty and confusion. The Haruno looked to be trying to stifle a giggle.
Gaara did not blush, he didn't have the habit of doing that, but he certainly felt embarrassed somewhere deep inside where no one could see. He coughed once, and cast his stern gaze on the person who had spoken. "What was that last line?" he asked, his voice as indifferent and cold as ever.
The poor man looked scared to death, as he answered. "Uh… Kazekage-sama, this is when you sign the peace treaty."
They brought the thick, embellished-looking scroll to him and gave him a big brush, and Gaara dipped it into the midnight black ink, and signed his name as Suna no Gaara, the Rokudaime Kazekage, the representative of Sunagakure. Then he passed it on to the Hokage, who also signed it, and then they lifted it up together for everyone to see.
The day was starting to grow old and the sunset wasn't very far. The celebration for the treaty was, at some parts of the village, quite loud, and then in other parts, nonexistent. Some of the people were celebrating the new peace, some were mourning the dead Godaime Kazekage. In any case, whether in a sad or a happy mood, they were moving on. A new chapter in the history of Suna was about to be written. A trustworthy alliance between two hidden villages was unheard of, but one such had just been created here today. Not all of the citizens had been there to watch the two kages bow to each other and confirm the treaty, standing on the great balcony, but there had been enough people for Gaara to know the majority supported him. He had stood there with the Hokage, Haruno not far behind them, and looked at the people. These faces, he engraved them into his memory, these men, women and children, civilians and shinobis alike, he would protect them with his life. Every single one. They would know he was no monster, but a human just like them. They would learn to trust him, and he would not betray them.
Later that night, there was a formal dinner, held at one of the best restaurants on Suna, and Gaara found himself sitting at the head of the table, next to his pink-haired fiancée and the Hokage, who was getting suspiciously flushed and drowsy. Was she drunk? Uh… probably, at least a little bit. Maybe she hated the idea of giving Sakura to him so much that she had decided the best way to cope was to get drunk… Actually, Gaara didn't even want to know. To him, that Tsunade woman was just… well, how to say it… weird. He had no idea what was going on in her head. And in fact, he didn't even want to know. After his couple of years without fruitless murdering, he didn't need an old woman driving him on the brink of madness again. Although it might not be her, but the Haruno girl who did that. Gaara didn't know her. She could be a horrible person. Hopefully not, though. Naruto liked her, so she couldn't be that bad. Besides, Gaara wasn't exactly the most open and easily dealt with personality either.
Of the three of them, the only one saying a word at all was the Hokage, and she too rarely spoke. The mood in their end of the table seemed to be a bit dull. Gaara was thinking silently, the Haruno was most likely missing Konoha and her friends, and the Tsunade woman was thinking of whatever she was thinking. They were all very nicely dressed, Gaara and Tsunade in their formal robes (excluding the hats), and Sakura in a fine pink furisode with light red and white flower patterns. She looked very beautiful, Gaara had to admit.
The meal was coming to an end, and because of his sour mood, Gaara had eaten hardly anything. Sakura hadn't apparently had much appetite either. Only Tsunade had seemed to enjoy the many dishes (and the sake), and was looking quite content right now. Pouring sake for all three of them, she urged Gaara and Sakura to drink. The two complied, although hesitantly, and swallowed the alcohol. Sakura didn't like the taste, and coughed a little. Gaara wasn't very fond of it either, but showed no sign discomfort.
Tsunade gave them a semi-drunken grin. "Don't be such kids, have more! It's not everyday you get engaged."
Gaara raised an eyebrow lightly. "I don't usually drink, Hokage-dono."
"No need for for-for-formalities… Gaara-kun… and don't tell me you don't drink because you're not old… enough… or something stupid… Naruto spouting that crap is more than enough… Sake… sake is… is…" she hiccupped and fell asleep against the table. And for the first time in ages, Gaara felt a slight urge to smile. Had the woman really been that drunk? How odd that he hadn't noticed. The Haruno girl was blushing, looking extremely embarrassed.
"Uh… I am very sorry you had to witness that, Kazekage-sama," Sakura mumbled, looking down. Gaara felt strangely surprised to hear her talking to him so formally. After all, she was to be his wife in only two days time, but she still called him "Kazekage-sama".
"I'm not offended, Haruno-san."
"Thank you," the girl voiced, and once again Gaara had a funny feeling in his chest. He felt foolish for just sitting there, doing nothing but staring at his fiancée's face, and occasionally turning to gaze at the sleeping Hokage. And that was strange too, because normally he didn't feel strange at all, staring at people. It was actually all he did, half the time. But for some reason, this situation was making him feel uncomfortable.
"She doesn't do this often… in formal meetings, anyway. She's just been a bit stressed lately and all." Sakura wasn't sure why she was saying all this, but she just felt a strong need to fill the awkward silence hanging in the air.
"I understand," was all she got as a reply, and it annoyed her a bit. How was she supposed to keep up a conversation with someone as silent as Gaara? The Hokage was still snoring quietly next to her, and even thinking about it made Sakura blush. Tsunade, Tsunade, how could she? Oh how Sakura missed Shizune at moments like this.
And then she had an idea. Maybe she should propose a private walk with Gaara or something? She desperately wanted to get to know at least a little bit more about him before they were wedded. She didn't know if Gaara felt the same, but it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?
"Uh… Kazekage-sama," she started hesitantly. Gaara seemed to give her his full attention immediately, so she continued a little more bravely. "Could we… I mean, maybe we should get to know each other a little more… you know, talk privately or something? Maybe we could go outside and walk a bit? I don't know about you, but I'm a little overwhelmed by all that's been happening, and it would be nice to spend some time on something that's actually useful."
Gaara gazed at her for a moment, his face as expressionless as ever, and then nodded. "Alright."
They got up and made their way outside the building, ignoring all the curious looks they got from people, and navigated their way somewhere less crowded. It was quite dark in the desert, and the stars could be seen clearly against the black sky. Different sounds could be heard from around the village as the people celebrated. It was a bit chilly, but neither Gaara nor Sakura minded.
To the pink-haired girl's surprise, it was Gaara who started the conversation this time. "Your parents are not here?"
She turned away for a second, but then twirled back to look him in the eyes. "No, they died a while back."
Death was something Gaara was, in a twisted way, very familiar with, as he had killed so many people, but speaking to a person who had lost someone important to them not very long ago, was new to him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say in a situation like that, or if was supposed to say anything at all. Still, he felt it would've been sort of rude to say nothing. "I see. It's a pity."
Sakura was a little taken aback by his crude answer, but for some reason, it made her smile. "You're not very familiar with giving people your condolences, are you?" she giggled.
Gaara gave her quizzical look, before shaking his head slightly. "I am normally the one to give out death, not the one who is left to mourn."
Sakura tilted her head. "That's kind of sad."
Gaara was getting curious now. "How so?"
"Because if you've never lost anyone you love, you probably can't appreciate the people who are important to you as much as you should."
"You're saying it would be good if someone important to me died?"
Sakura gave him a sunny smile. "No, but death just happens to be a subject that makes people think, don't you agree? For example, if Kankuro-san died, how would you feel about Temari-san after that?"
Gaara looked thoughtful for a moment. "I see your point. I would feel reluctant to let her out of my sight for too long. And as the Kazekage, my death would be a big loss for my village and would greatly influence the people's lives."
"That's right Kazekage-sama."
"Gaara is fine. We'll be married soon."
"Alright, it's Gaara-kun then. And you call me Sakura." There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "Funny, it's our first real conversation, and already we ended up talking about death."
Gaara nodded.
"I remember the first time we met," Sakura said suddenly, and noticed Gaara shift. "I was, well, a sad excuse of a kunoichi back then, you were kind of… crazy. I know ninjas don't usually say these things aloud, but I was really scared of you back then. Hell, everybody was."
Gaara stood quietly listening. He knew where this was going.
"And then… during the third exam, you almost killed me," she paused. "But who cares, that was a long time ago."
Gaara was slightly stunned by her straight words, but he was also pleased. At least she wasn't afraid of him. Marriage with someone who feared you would've been quite complicated, so he was glad the girl held no grudges. Now, for some reason, he suddenly felt much more at ease. Sakura must've sensed him relax a bit, as she too lowered her guard somewhat more.
"I was meaning to ask you," Gaara started. "Why you?"
"Why was I chosen as your bride?" Sakura asked. "Well, for a lot of different reasons, actually. They wanted to send someone powerful and intelligent, and around your age. I didn't exactly volunteer, but the council suggested me anyway."
"You were forced?"
"No… In the end, I myself decided I would come."
"Why?"
Sakura stretched her hands and yawned. "My parents had just died and Naruto is so busy learning to be a kage that I hardly ever get see him these days. All my other close friends are very busy too. I was getting lonely, so I thought a change of scenery and some new friends might help. And then I remembered, you used to be very lonely too."
The redhead shifted his eyes to the sky, confused. Sakura was a very strange girl, he decided. "Is that all?"
"No… the biggest reason why I decided to do this, was because of… You see, for the longest time, I was in love with Uchiha Sasuke," she paused, taking a deep breath. "But he… died some time ago. I was saving myself for him, but he never cared for me… In truth, I was so depressed that staying in Konoha, having to remember everything everyday, was killing me. I had to get away."
For some unknown reason, Gaara felt a little bit disappointed in the pit of his stomach. "So, you decided to marry me, because you can't have the only one you've ever cared about."
"Don't feel offended, Gaara-kun. I may not love you now, but I'm sure that someday I will learn."
The topic was getting uncomfortable, and there was a long, awkward silence after her words. They stood there next to each other, watching the midnight sky, and thought about many different things. Gaara was experiencing an emotion he had never felt before. The girl beside him, no matter how cheerful or optimistic she looked like, was wounded inside. She was hurting, just like him. Their pains were different, but still alike. Where he mourned his lost childhood and innocence, she grieved for lost love. Gaara was sad because of his loneliness and the feeling that no one loved him, and Sakura because the one she had loved had abandoned her. She was hurting, and he could sense it. It was like a big, ugly lump inside her heart that emitted pain every time she moved. Like a rock that rubbed her ribcage from the inside, she couldn't get it out by herself without killing herself in the process, and it just kept growing and growing until finally she was torn apart permanently. Gaara could sense other people's pain easily, no matter how they tried to disguise it, but never before had he felt such a desire to fix it. The contrast between Sakura's immense physical strength and the fragility of her heart intrigued him for some reason. She was as strong as a kage but as delicate as a porcelain doll.
Gaara felt drawn.
"You understand that this marriage is not just for the appearances? They expect us to have children," he spoke, his voice low.
"I know. And I thought about it a lot," Sakura replied, and turned to face him. And then, to Gaara's surprise, she leaned close to him, so close in fact that their noses were almost touching. He could feel her warm breath on his lips. "I wondered, kissing your lips, would they taste like sand and blood… or would they taste sweet and warm?"
And the next second, she did the unthinkable, and pressed her lips against his. By all logic and reason, Gaara's discomfort towards touch and such close proximity should've made him jerk away. But in stead, for some bizarre reason, he found himself closing his eyes and bringing his left hand to gently caress her cheek. For a moment, time stood still as the two of them kissed. But then, Gaara retreated and lowered his hand from Sakura's face. He looked at her and saw her eyes glisten with tears.
"You weren't ready for that," Gaara stated monotonously, and turned away from her.
"I'm sorry," the girl choked and took a step to leave. But before she did, she turned around to look at him once more. "You tasted good," she whispered, and hurried away, crying no doubt.
Gaara stood there alone, feeling like an idiot. But she had said he wasn't bad to kiss. Maybe she just needed more time. And time was about all he could really give her. He wasn't a normal person, and he didn't know what was normally done in situations like these. But he would learn. With the time he gave her, he would start healing himself too. He wanted to finally bury those old scars and turn his head towards a brighter future. Sakura had said she would learn to love him… and one day, he would love her too.
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Two days later, in the wedding ceremony, Sakura was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The magnificent wedding kimono she wore was a pure white colour, representing her purity. Gaara hoped he would never taint her.
There weren't many people present in the actual wedding ceremony, as neither of them had many relatives, but the wedding reception was big and colourful. Naruto was there too, and at one point of the evening, he dragged the expressionless, fresh husband to the side of the room.
"Naruto," Gaara voiced, as the blond stood grinning in front of him.
"Way to go, Gaara! First you're Kazekage and now you're a husband. I'll have to catch up soon," he laughed joyously. But suddenly his blue eyes turned threatening. "Although, I had planned on marrying Sakura-chan myself, but since you got her, you better treat her good. Or I'll kill you."
Gaara rarely felt intimidated by anyone, but at this particular moment, he felt an urge to gulp. And then, a mere second later, Naruto was gone, and Gaara was left alone.
And from that corner of the room, he let his gaze wonder all over, looking for his wife. Sakura was standing together with Temari and some of her friend from Konoha, looking cheerful as ever, but Gaara could see behind her façade. She was hurting, she was hurting so much inside, but now there was no way to reverse what had happened. They were married. Gaara hoped from the bottom of his heart that she didn't regret it. She had changed into another kimono, this time a deep red one, and her hair was up on a difficult-looking bun decorated by flower shaped silk ornaments. She looked stunning.
What would their life be like? Would they ever be happy? Gaara didn't know, but he was ready to find out. He would try his best. A comforting warmth spread inside of him as he watched her. He was ready to jump into the unknown, if she jumped with him. Things would be weird and uncomfortable at first, but he was starting get surer every moment that they would make it. They would learn from each other and heal together. They would learn to trust and love again.
It would be tough, but they had people who were glad to help, if help was needed. Temari, Kankuro, Naruto…
Gaara realised he was no longer alone. All these people in this room were with him. And most importantly, Sakura was with him.
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So that was it, please comment!
