Maybe Never Was So Clear

by WindStar

Thousands of questions of life are never answered. Thousands of hopes are thrashed. It is Shuichi Minamono's life that was always surrounding one word. Maybe. For it is the love and the hate that followed him through his years, that made him who he is.

Maybe Never Was So Clear

Phase One:

Calculating. That's what everyone always called him. Calculating and devoid of all emotion. He'd been called that because when faced with struggles and difficulties, he had always been calm and collected. He could think up answers to problems without feeling anything at all. No that's not true, not true in the slightest. He could feel…he could feel all those terrible emotions in him. Whether he showed them or not was his own device. Perhaps it was the human side of him that made him more emotional – he certainly wasn't like this when he was a demon. He'd never cried when he was a demon. Not once…he cried so much more as a human. Maybe Hiei was right – maybe he did have weak human emotions.

Shuichi Minamino. What a useless meaningless name. It meant nothing to him. It truly didn't. Shiori Minamino had named him. That wasn't his true mother. His true mother had called him Kurama. His true mother was a beautiful kitsune with long flowing silver locks and gentle blue eyes. Shiori was just a foolish human who was useless with everything she did. She was a decent cook, but that was her only calling. Other then that she slaved away at some job while putting him in some place called school. There was no need for school; he was over a thousand years old! He looked at the small bag of supplies he'd packed earlier that day.

Damn it.

That woman had completely corrupted him. His real mother would have done the same thing had she the chance, but that wasn't what this was about. He was supposed to leave. Leave and become a demon again, leave this pathetic woman to her own devices and never return. Yet he was hesitating for far too long. He was staring at his bag for far too long. His hands were clenched at their sides as his red bangs fell into his eyes. His teeth were gnawing at his bottom lip and yet he didn't make a sound through all of it. He felt himself falling to his knees and huddling beside his bed, mind trying to think up a solution to what should be a relatively easy problem. He had planned this out when entering this foolish human body.

He had been running away, his mind then was still on the death of his greatest friend and ally. They had tried to steal a sacred mirror, and had almost made it when that idiot went back for his necklace. He'd been killed instantly and that left Kurama to run away with a heavy heart. The demon had not made it that far before the hunters caught up with him. He felt his one chance approaching and he transformed his body into its spirit form before jumping through the dimensional bounds and down to earth. The form sapped his energy, and the hunters regrettably had struck him with their staves as he morphed.

He remembered being born. Being born and staring at the bored nurse as she washed blood from him and handed him to his new mother. She was nothing like Cora. The beautiful kitsune who had raised him into the demon he was. She had brown hair, and was covered in sweat. Her breath came in pants as she held him with a smile. Someone asked what she'd name him, and she immediately said "Shuichi" after his father. Hah, what a laugh. His father? His father was a ruthless demon that had beaten him any chance he'd gotten - to make him stronger the creature had said. Cora had walked in on it once and had immediately intervened. She was furious he had dared raise a hand against her son, and she struck Soaran hard across the face and carried him out of the room. He remembered wrapping his arms around his mother's neck as he watched rage play across his father's face.

Soaran took the whip he'd been using to discipline Kurama, and slashed it against her back. The woman howled in pain, nearly dropping him as she stumbled and fell to the ground. He remembered beating against his mother's chest so he could get free from her hold and protect her. She never let him go, and eventually he just held her as he wept from how useless he felt. When she'd finally passed out from the pain, Soaran pulled him from her arms and struck him across the face. "Never make me do that again." He'd said - as though it was his fault. As though Kurama was the one who had told him to beat his mate.

He remembered how Shiori's comment made him hate her instantly. He would never have a father. He would never accept any man to fill the role. Shiori hugged him as she hummed something sweet in his baby ears. He wanted to puke, he wanted her to let him go, he wanted to disappear into the womb he'd been so content with sleeping in. He wanted to go back to his real mother...back to the Makai and find Kuronue's body...he wondered what became of his friend.

His new father never came. He was dead, killed in a car accident on his way to the hospital. Kurama wanted to laugh, but couldn't make the noise quite right, somehow it sounded like a sob. Shiori burst into tears when she heard the news. She wept for hours as she held the baby in her arms and cried miserably. She said that Shuichi Sr. was such a wonderful man, that he would have loved his father. She went on to recount their wedding, how they first met, why they got married, how important Shuichi Jr. was to them. He wanted to puke even more now. This woman was insufferable, and such a whiny thing.

When she took him home, everyone ooed and ahhed at him. They wanted to touch his baby fuzz hair - what color was it anyway? He didn't know, he wouldn't know until years later when he'd finally been tall enough to see it in the bathroom mirror. Those annoying neighbors would crowd around him at every chance they had to touch him and coodle him. He wanted to kill them all they were so insufferable. He wanted to slice their throats with the claws he didn't have. He wanted to make their rose plants come up and strangle them in their sleep. He hated them. He wanted them to die. He even hated the dogs that they would bring over in hopes he'd play with them. He hated the pictures they were constantly taking of him. He hated how people talked about the father he never knew in front of him, telling him how much he'd love the man.

The man was dead; he would never meet him, so why did it matter if he knew about him? Shiori took him to the funeral, setting him on her lap and constantly re-adjusting his clothing. Who made infant sized funeral garb anyway? What a foolish idea. He refused to cry through the whole thing, though he toyed with doing it just to annoy the woman he was forced to live with now. His pride got the better of him and he refused to make a noise. Before the coffin was lowered, she carried him to see the man, and he wanted to groan when he saw what he looked like. Red hair and lanky body. He would most likely not keep his beautiful silver hair then. The thought sickened him. He started hating this man even more now. No matter what anyone said - he was a jerk for landing him with such despicable genes.

Back at home the woman was crying again. He rolled his eyes and fell asleep. What was the point of indulging her tears? She was upset, granted, but she was an adult. She needed to get over it. She cried a lot more that year, and as he grew he grew to resent and hate her tears more and more. Could she do anything other then cry? He sincerely doubted it with the way she was acting. She cried more then he did - and he was the baby in the family.

There was a man in the house though, almost constantly. It was his uncle apparently. He came over and stayed for a good long while to help take care of him and his mother. The man was idiotic looking with an abnormal hair don't and huge glasses. He hated him too. He didn't know why, but he thought it must be the way he just indulged everyone. He had no backbone, and that was frustrating.

He said his first word when he was thirteen months old. He wondered why people counted baby growth past the one year mark still in months. You never called a six year old "seventy two months old" so why bother after the first year? Regardless, his first word was 'quiet.' He had been angry at her. She was making such a ruckus and so he repeated the word over and over before she suddenly heard him and exploded into cries of joy. She had to call all of her friends and told them he spoke. He fell asleep feeling frustrated. No one ever listened to babies.

When he was four he started school at Tokyo Preliminary. It was an expensive preschooling education establishment where all the walls were pink, green, yellow, and blue. There were blocks to play with and children who laughed and screamed and did whatever they wanted to. Most children found the place wonderful, he hated it. It was far to flamboyant and annoying in his taste. He sat in a corner and read children's books to occupy himself. They were boring and were written in a way that was almost as vomitous as his mother's fragile emotions. He shoved the books back into their shelves and demanded the gods to give him a more enjoyable reading experience as he grabbed the next book. It was always worse.

When he turned six he was sent to first grade and was bored with school after the first day. He knew everything they talked about, and didn't care if he made any friends. He was still mourning in silence for his only friend's death and he refused to replace him with filthy humans. He aced every test and quiz and found himself skipping several grades. When age became too much of a complication with skipping grades, he was held back by his mother's will. She didn't want him to be in a class where everybody was several years older then him. She wanted him to be in a group of kids his own age. He'd screamed at her for this. Standing in front of her and calling her foolish and simple minded. Saying he didn't need friends, they weren't important to him. He said that school was more entertaining then friends anyway. She caved under his harsh words and he maintained a three grade ahead skip. Still he felt her to be completely weak for allowing him to manipulate her like that. More hatred filled his heart and he removed himself from her side whenever possible.

Finally he turned ten. He had been planning this year for so long. He had finally come to a point where he was able to use and control a bulk of his demonic powers. He was ready to go back to Makai and leave this putrid world forever. He packed a bag of things to take with him - food and knives that he'd accumulated (even a spare change of clothes because he had a feeling he'd need to have more then one pair once he arrived). He wanted to take a box of cookies with him as well, for though it was a human weakness - he did crave the desserts from time to time. He decided to make the excuse that he wanted a jug, he'd be able to sneak the cookies inside it without having to explain why he wanted them

Walking out to the kitchen he gave his mother a rude reply when she asked him something. He pulled a chair over to the cupboard and opened the door; he frowned as he noticed it was the wrong cupboard. He was sure that the cookies were in this one. Shiori called over mentioning that she'd cleaned the cabinets and that some things weren't in the spots he thought they'd be in. He growled but caught sight of the box in the very back behind a stack of plates. Angry he reached up trying to get his to small arms to make the distance to the box.

"Shuichi?" She was standing in the doorway, but he still reached on. "Shuichi careful!" Too late she screamed as the chair started toppling and he tried to grab onto something to keep it steady himself. His palm touched the plate stack and he felt himself falling backwards - dragging the stack with him. For a split second he wondered if he'd died; death by wanting cookies...Then he opened his eyes and found himself in Shiori's arms. The woman had caught him as he fell. She was bleeding, that was the first thing he noticed. He could smell the blood even without his kitsune sense of smell. His body shook as he tried to understand what she had done. She had saved him. He could have been seriously hurt...she could have been seriously hurt, and she saved him! She allowed herself to be hit with the falling porcelain and all because...why?

"Are you alright?"

"We have to go to the hospital." He said, did his voice sound foreign to her too? She was looking at him with such surprise. "You could need stitches - why did you do that?" It was the burning question in his mind. How dare she do something so selfless...how dare she.

"I love you Shuichi, that's why." Plain and simple. She loved him. He felt the hate he'd harbored dissapate and tears well in his eyes. He couldn't say it back, he just couldn't.

He'd been so cruel to her growing up, and she still loved him. She started asking him if he was alright, and he was speechless as to what to say. What did one say when someone you've hated for so long saved your life for no reason other then...love? He shook his head to stop tears from falling, then instantly started fussing over her, His hands going to her wounds as he pulled her to her feet.

"I love you too mom." Mom? Where had that come from? He never called her that. He simply ignored her presence entirely. But now there he was calling her mom. He felt his body dissolve into wracking sobs and she held him close to her, asking him over and over if he was alright. She apologized for scaring him, but he didn't care. He just kept saying it over and over again "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry mom…" It was as though ten years of hate simply became understood. He never hated her. He just didn't understand her.

So now there he sat. His knees up to his chest, his pack still on the bed. He couldn't just...leave. Not after today. Not after what happened. He couldn't. And so he didn't. He stood up and put the things in his pack back. Screw it. Maybe being a human wasn't that bad after all.

Phase two:

Kurama stared at Koenma as though he were insane. He wanted him to be a spirit detective? Was that even worth replying? On one hand, it meant he could continue living with Shiori and watch out for her. On the other...a spirit detective? He hated spirit detectives. They were loud and boisterous and were always trying to kill him for some reason or other. Was the god child absolutely crazy? He was a demon! A demon!

Demons aren't Spirit Detectives! They're...DEMONS. They're the exact opposite of Spirit Detectives. Hell, he'd killed people who had the same job as he was being offered.

He looked at Hiei besides him; it appeared as though he had the same thought. Spirit Detective. What on earth? He closed his eyes and thought for a while; he wouldn't have to go to Jail. That was a plus...he'd be able to go to the Makai whenever he wanted to - or was needed to - without seeming suspicious...he could live with Shiori some more...so far it didn't seem all that bad...except for the nagging part of It's a gods dammed Spirit Detective! He'd be killing his own kind, and being an all around do gooder from now on. No more skimming by the law, and certainly no more stealing (if he ever got back into the swing of things). He'd be called upon whether he had plans or not. He'd be woken up at all hours of the morning by the blue haired maniac with news from pacifier breath.

This was insane. Spirit Detective?

He felt movement in the air and turned to see Hiei starting to walk away. Now or never...dammitt...Spirit Detective? Could they have thought of a more cheesy name? Honestly...it made him feel like part of one of those animes where they say "power up!" and their clothes disappear and is replaced by armor that appears out of no where. Like those animes where there's a comic relief character, a know it all, an annoying main character, and the brooding silent one. In fact, he could name everyone in that category right now. God. He was going to be living an anime. Then again...torturous prison didn't sound the least bit intriguing on any level.

Still...Spirit Detective?!

"For how long...Koenma-sama?" He asked quietly debating his options. When he got the time he winced. That long?

"It's better then prison!" The know it all baby said as he noticed the wary look on Kurama's face. Hiei too had paused by the door. Better in what way? They wouldn't be tortured...they would be free to move around at will...but they'd be lap dogs. And Kurama was insistent on not being a lapdog. He'd be monitored closely to make sure he wouldn't try to fall off the radar...and he would have to help that boy who risked his life for his mother. That didn't seem too bad - the latter at least. The former made him slightly queasy at the thought. Still, Shiori's face came to mind and he knew that he couldn't just disappear off to Demon Prison. She would panic, and he would not be the cause of that.

"Kurama, you're not seriously considering this, are you?" Hiei hissed from behind him. His red locks flipped over his shoulder as he turned, a look of indecision on his face. The angry red eyes bore into him, and he frowned at the sight.

"It's better then prison..." He mumbled repeating the god child's earlier words.

"You'll be a slave!" Hiei hissed at the thought.

"Yes..." Kurama sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wished he was back in his yokai form. Whenever confronted with a difficult situation, he could recall bending his ear tip on one side and rubbing it thoughtfully. Human ears didn't do that and they were in the completely wrong spot - it was one of the reasons he was not a fan of his human form. "But..."

"But nothing, you'd be a slave to them! The people that, in your past life, you killed without thought!" It was true, gods how it was true. He'd killed spirit detectives for breakfast if they tried to go anywhere near him. They were such an annoyingly perky group that he never liked. They always went in, pigheaded, and always came out loosing. There were only ever a handful of excellent teams of Detectives who actually knew what they were doing, and they were always to busy to be dealing with thieves like Youko Kurama.

"It's my mother..." He relented, knowing that by now with that thought he'd never be able to go to prison. His mother truly would panic and would spend the rest of her life worrying and crying on his behalf. Crying, something that he had done everything in his power to prevent.

"More human emotions? Gods you're weak." Hiei hissed, and Kurama laughed lightly. Hiei reminded him of himself back when he was truly a demon. Cocky, arrogant, and with a sincere hate for humans. He clearly recalled the actions of his youth - one of the downsides of taking a human form. His soul had already matured and so things like memory were engraved into his mind so much clearer then an average newborn's. The actions where he continually said how much he hated his mother sweet, and how much he wished her dead. He repented each day for that.

"You should try it sometime." He said lightly, knowing that Hiei would accept what he said as a joke. He seemed to be able to loose all sense of humor when it came to humans, yet with demons he accepted jokes as what they were.

In the past he remembered a previous encounter with a Detective. One of the better ones mind you. He'd killed plenty of weak morons on his own, and was relaxing in the summer sun after a particularly entertaining heist that involved gems and jewelry. He was laying on a branch after eating a lovely lunch and was minding his own business when he felt a presence.

He'd just managed to jump out of the way when a large ball of energy came flying straight at him. He hissed as he landed on his feet several feet away. The Detective stepped forward with a smile on his lips and clapped his hands together. Instantly a purple light came between his palms and the man flung the energy straight at him. Diving to the side Youko Kurama paused behind a tree before summoning his power.

Several hundred leaves leapt off the ground and were sharpened by his will. They shot straight at the Detective with surprising speed and were prepared to slit the being's throat. Explosions sounded and Youko dared to look at what befell the man, he stood without a scratch on him in the midst of burnt leaves. Admiration seeped into the demon's mind for even he could not deny it when skill was presented.

"Well done." Was all he said before removing his rose whip. "And you are?"

"I don't give my name to those who are about to die."

"Ah, but it's only polite, as you clearly know me."

"Do I? I know your name and what you've done, but do I truly know you?" The Detective laughed at Youko Kurama's obvious confusion. "Shall you die peacefully?"

"Never."

"Then I'm sorry, for this will hurt." The two charged each other at the same time, the careful movements of the Detective and the graceful run of the fox. They charged and struck as one and only strength would determine who would win.

As luck would have it, the Detective fell to the dangerous whip, yet not before the purple blast of energy sliced through the air and exploded on the fox's chest. He was badly injured, yes, but not dead. Something he could not say the same for the Detective.

It was a brutal kill, the man sliced clean in half via the thorns of the whip. Blood spilled everywhere, and the demon fox sighed as he moved from the sight. He didn't even bother with the body, let it rot in peace.

Present day things were little different in his mind. The only good Spirit Detective was a dead Spirit Detective. Though he supposed he still owed Yusuke for saving his and Shiori's life. Being a Detective was not going to be fun in anyway, but at least he'd have something to do in his spare time. Besides…it wasn't…that long. Right?

"Hiei I think we should do this." He told the fire brat. The Demon glowered at him.

"Are you insane?" He snapped as his arms crossed his chest.

"No, I think that it'd be best for all the parties involved if we do this." He replied before continuing. "You won't have to go to prison, and you'll be able to fight interesting and new opponents more and more. You'll even be able to cross between the worlds without suspicions arising. You can even challenge Yusuke every once and a while – since I know you're still sore about loosing."

"I didn't loose, he cheated." Hiei replied stubbornly. It was such a strike to his pride that he'd lost, and Kurama knew which buttons to press.

"Then you should join, you'd be able to set the true record straight." Hiei's shoulders slumped in submission. Kurama had a point…

"Why are you joining then? You have nothing to prove or gain." Kurama simply shook his head and sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're wrong, I do have something to gain."

"What's that?"

"Freedom." Kurama looked up to meet Koenma's eyes – slits, narrow holes whatever they were. "I'm interested in being a Spirit Detective." Was all he said as he signed away his soul. Maybe his opinion of Spirit Detectives would change…maybe they wouldn't.

Phase Three:

Kurama stared at her and felt as though his heart shattered. Married. She wanted to get married. What the hell was he supposed to say about that? Married? Umm, no, sorry Mom. She said she wouldn't if he didn't feel comfortable, but damn that pleading look in her eyes. She really wanted this. He could just see her heart breaking if he said how he felt on the subject. He wanted her to be happy…regardless of how it felt to him.

"That's great mom, I'm so happy for you!" He said kindly. Beside her was the man she intended to marry, and Kurama almost gagged in disgust when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "When's the wedding?" They told him they hadn't decided yet, sometime in the spring. "Congratulations." Just keep smiling. He wanted to cry, he wanted to fall onto his bed and just beat his pillows into submission. He wanted this whole thing to be some kind of sick joke.

"You're going to have a brother!" Shiori said as she came over and hugged him. Was it just him or did the room loose ten degrees? She kept talking, but it fell on deaf ears. A brother and a father. Great. Lovely. Wonderful. It was a dream come true. Bloody fan- freaking-tastic.

He excused himself after a while, and told them that he was meeting with some friends at the park. He said he'd tell them the great news and see if they'd mind cutting the excursion short. He knew what they'd say, and they said it. "Don't come home early on our account, go and have a good time!" He said he would and left. It was a bold faced lie, and he was meeting no one at the park. He just wanted to run and never come back. This was a nightmare. A complete nightmare.

He took of at an amazing speed – not to fast to call inhuman, but certainly faster then the average Joe. His feet hit the pavement one right after the other. He had no clue as to where he was going, but he needed to get out of this place. Within half an hour he'd left Tokyo and was running in the woods with no sense of direction.

When he came to a lake he stopped, lungs bursting and muscles yelling. He fell to his knees and punched the ground with all his might. The ground fought back and the skin on his knuckles frayed slightly. He punched the ground with his other hand, again and again and again. More punching and more anger boiling up inside of him. He looked up and saw a more formidable opponent. A boulder. He stormed over to it and punched it hard. His knuckles tried telling him that they didn't approve of the treatment, but he ignored them. He kept punching and before he knew it he was crying. All his energy completely spent for a gods unknown reason, he felt himself simply fall beside the boulder and weep miserably.

He hated this. He hated this a lot. His mother couldn't get married…not after all of these years when it's just been the two of them. They never needed anyone else. He never needed Shuichi Sr. He never needed a father at all. In fact, he never even wanted a father. Memories of his previous 'daddy figure' had kept him from ever getting close to an adult man. He had been terrified of his father growing up, and he was very happy that Shuichi Sr. had died when he did. He knew it broke his mother's heart, but, he doubted he'd ever have formed such a strong bond with his mother had it not been for that death. He probably would have left thinking that the original Shuichi could have taken care of her.

But now he was stuck. To give her happiness was to deny him his own. To give her happiness was to give him the one thing he never wanted. A father. It was a Catch 22 in the most upsetting sense. He couldn't say no, or else she would be upset, yet in saying yes he was damning himself. The uselessness of the situation had him bawling in the forest for at least an hour. He hadn't even noticed when someone came up behind him and was saying his name. Only when the hesitant hand touched his shoulder did he notice the presence and jump away in surprise.

It was Botan. Of course it was Botan. The girl probably saw him crying from Koenma's office. That annoying toddler could see everything. She was looking extremely worried and he smiled through his tear stained face and wiped the fluid from his eyes. He hated being a Detective right now. Could he have just one moment of privacy?

"Botan, it's you! You scared me!" She wasn't to be deterred from the reason she came down, and she knelt before him.

"Kurama…are you alright?" She was wearing her traditional pink kimono, but her hair was down from its normal style and she looked very young just kneeling there before him. She reminded him of Yukina almost.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." He replied gently. "Is there something I can help you with?" She hesitated slightly as though debating whether or not to tell him what she came to say. "I'm really alright." He told her when she still paused. Let her say whatever it is she wanted to say…and then let he could be alone again.

"Kurama…"

"What does Koenma want?" He'd realized now that this was all on accident, the guilty look on her face was proof of that. She hadn't meant to walk in on him with his defenses so low. She wasn't here to comfort him. She was here with a job. If anything, that made him hurt even more. Even though he would have sent them away, he truly wanted someone he could talk to…someone he could tell his troubles to. Botan might have been that person, but she'd lost the trust the moment she looked guilty. The moment she proved all she would ever be is an employer.

"There's some demonic activity happening in downtown Tokyo…he wanted you and Hiei to check it out since Yusuke has done so much lately." He laughed bitterly. Of course. It was all about Yusuke. It didn't matter that he had done the exact same missions as the younger boy. It didn't matter that he had fought off enemies of equal strength and more in quantity. It was all about Yusuke. He was the volunteer and willing pupil. Kurama was the deal maker who got out of prison to be Koenma's slave. It hurt.

"Sure thing, where are we meeting up?" He asked as he bit back tears that were starting to reform. Botan looked worried and chewed her bottom lip.

"If you're not able then I can find Kuwabara…"

"I'm fine Botan, really, where will we meet up?"

"Hiei said he'd meet you at your house, but then you weren't there so-" Her rambling was cut off by the unmistakable grumpy voice of the fire brat.

"Here. Can we go now?" He asked, though he was staring at Kurama's tear streaked face with a definite We're talking about this later look in his eyes. The fox found himself silently thanking whatever gods were listening. He needed to talk, even if it was to his antisocial best friend – for truly that's what he was. The fire brat had always been there for him, and like wise he was there for the fire brat. They took companionship in the fact that they were both bonded to Koenma's will. They could neither leave nor escape their fates. Before he'd stolen the Forlorn Hope he'd not had a single friend. Many admirers but not once did anyone actually speak to him about things besides school. Perhaps he set himself up for that. He was so cold and distant as a child that he probably deserved being lonely. Still, it was nice to have one person he could depend on for help.

"Yes, we'll report back to you in the morning Botan." Kurama stood and made his way over to his companion who instantly sped away. He followed, appreciative for the chance to run again. He needed to clear his thoughts…

An hour passed and they were roaming the roof tops of Tokyo sensing for any Demonic energy in the area. Hiei looked at him quietly and with a hint of annoyance. Kurama was going through the motions, but he wasn't thinking about demons or the mission. He wasn't even watching where he was going. The smaller demon had to grab his shoulder before he walked clear off a roof top. Emerald eyes widened as he looked down at the hundred foot drop and where he was precariously located on the edge. He glanced at Hiei who was less then amused.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked as he folded his arms over his chest and glared at the younger boy.

"I'm sorry Hiei…I'm not thinking straight today." He replied quietly as he took the leap over to the next roof instead of walking on air as he'd attempted to do. Hiei followed suit but still had words to say.

"What on Earth are you thinking about? Because if its suicide, let me know and I won't stop you next time." The humor was well placed and much needed because once more the fox felt on the verge of tears. His mother's marriage was killing him bit by bit, and he knew that sooner or later he'd have to confront the issue.

"My mother."

"Is she sick again? Because the Forlorn Hope thing only works once for a reason." He was doing his damndest not to cry, but the humor in Hiei's comment only placed more pressure on the water in his eyes. He raised a hand to wipe them away inconspicuously and kept walking across the roofs.

"No she's not sick." But I wish she were. I could fix a sickness.

"Then what is it?" The demon snapped as they crossed another top.

"She's getting married." The smaller demon didn't seem to understand the misery about the situation; instead he scoffed and rolled his eyes for all the drama.

"That's it?" Kurama wanted to strangle him. That's it?! That's IT!?! He felt his anger replacing his sadness as he looked at his friend. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?"

"She's getting married. To a man." It didn't sound as stupid when it was in his head, but now that he said it, he felt like a moron. Hiei was quick to quip about it.

"Well, were you hoping it'd be to a woman?"

"I don't want her getting married at all!" He snapped, furious that the other was being so dense. The fire brat looked at him for a moment as though trying to think about what to say.

"Well, why not? It means she's happy doesn't it? I thought that's what you wanted for your pathetic little family." Kurama's rage was blinding, but he had far too much control in him to let it out on or in front of a friend.

"Yes, but-"

"You were the one who was risking his life to save her pathetic life."

"Yes, but-"

"And you're always doing stupid things to make that woman happy."

"Yes, but-"

"In all actuality, you're the pathetic one; she's not even your real mother." That got a rise out of him and Kurama struck the nearest wall with the side of his fist. They bore each other down and Hiei didn't seem phased at all, not even slightly surprised by the uncharacteristic show of rage. There was a ringing noise and the tension dropped as Kurama answered the cell-phone.

"Hello?" Hiei watched the boy's face go completely pale and his hand shake, threatening to drop the phone it held. The emerald eyes closed and the teen counted to ten trying to calm down his racing heart. "Yeah…okay." If possible the boy seemed to pale even more, he even lifted one hand to steady himself against the wall of the building he was about to jump up to. Whoever was on the other end was severely scaring the boy and Hiei wondered if something happened to the little pathetic family he had just been insulting. "Yeah hi…mmhmm…no it's just…sorry now's not really a good time…I'm in a movie theatre…and you know how they always complain when you talk on your phone during the show and the movie just started so…yeah, yeah…oh…tell…my mom that I'll be staying at a friend's house tonight. Yeah…mmhmm…bye." The teen didn't even hang up the phone, simply smashed it against the wall and watched the parts fall to the ground. He walked past his friend and leapt the distance to the next building with ease.

"Who was that?" Hiei asked as the red head's face became awash with fury.

"None of your business." He hissed as came to a dead end with no more roofs to jump. He sighed and leapt off the side of the building, landing effortlessly on the street below.

"Fine." Hiei replied and kept his silence. He knew the red head would pop eventually. It wouldn't take to long.

"Hello? Shuichi?" It was unmistakably his step father. Thousands of thoughts ran through his head. I don't want to talk to this man. Was the first one that came to mind, but he had to answer eventually.

"Yeah…"

"I just wanted to call and see if you could talk to your new brother. He's been dying to talk to you, and I told him you were out with friends, but he said it was just an excuse so do you mind?" Do I mind? Hell yes I mind. How in gods' names did you get this phone number? My mother must have told him. Gods damn it.

"Okay."

"Alright here you go!" The phone was handed to someone and there was some shuffling and muffled words.

"Hi! I'm gonna be your new brother! Did you know my name's Shuichi too? It's going to be so great! We're gonna have to think up nicknames and stuff so people can tell us apart! Oh you know what would be fantastic? My friends all want to meet my big brother, can we hang out sometime? I promise not to be a total dweeb, and my friends are pretty cool. I love your mom by the way, she's so nice! I can't wait to start calling her 'mom.' My mom died in childbirth, so it's just been me and dad…Oh…are you there?" He hesitated, trying to process all the information just thrown at him.

"Yeah, hi."

"Hi! So what do you think you wanna hang out sometime?"

"Mmhmm…" He couldn't think of anything else to say, he felt his body want to give out underneath him.

"You don't sound so sure…"

"No I just…sorry now's not a good time…"

The conversation kept playing through his head. The kid's voice on the other end. The annoying way he kept rambling and didn't even give him a chance to talk. He found himself disliking them already. A little voice told him that he'd felt that way about his mother at first…and look where they were now. But that was a very little voice, over powered by many more angry feelings.

He wondered how old the kid was, probably not more then twelve…maybe thirteen at the most. It hurt, he already felt himself getting replaced by this upstart. He already could see the difference between this Shuichi and him. He could already see how his mother would react to his happy happy boy, and compare it to how he was when he was this kid's age. It hurt. Because he knew how horrid he was as a child…he knew…and he had tried to repent for it in his later years. Yet he doubted anything would ever make up for it.

Maybe he was a little rude saying 'my mom.' Maybe that was even offensive. The kid wanted a mom…but who said that it had to be his mother? He was there first dammitt! Then he remembered how he'd stolen her child's body simply for his own selfish means. He wasn't the true owner of this body…so did that mean that he had no right to call her his mother anymore?

The headache he'd been getting since the conversation just turned into a full blown migraine as he clutched his head in pain. Hiei was asking him what was wrong, but he just hissed out 'nothing.' He pressed the pressure points he knew so well and kept moving, trying to keep his mind off of this new Shuichi.

Gods what was it about that name? First the father he was glad that died, then the name he hated to be called growing up but symbolized his human side of life, and now the brother that was going to replace him. If he ever had a kid, he was going to name them the farthest thing from Shuichi. So much so, it would share none of the same letters and would be a completely different language if he could help it.

The headache subsided somewhat but there still was an annoying throbbing pulsing through his head as he walked the streets of the city. Hiei trailed behind him looking concerned to say the least. He never seen Kurama look so completely lost and out of it.

He'd lied to whoever was on the phone, and with good reason, but he was the way he did it. He wanted to make the person shut up, and he didn't want to deal with them for the rest of the night. No call me laters or anything of the sort. Just "I'm busy, go away." It was rude and not like the prince of etiquette at all.

It was nearly two in the morning and they'd felt no surge of demonic activity. He sighed. If they didn't stop soon then Kurama was going to get himself hurt. He already wasn't paying attention as it was, add that to the growing number of prostitutes in this district and you received a completely blank looking teenager walking seemingly alone and almost completely unprotected. The sword wielding jigan bearing demon would cut down any threat without a blink of an eye, but that wouldn't solve the kid's problems at all.

He walked up to Kurama and noticed that the teen had no notion he was so close. Sighing he grabbed his shoulder, not the least bit surprised when the teen sputtered and jumped away – crashing into a scantily clad woman who started calling him forward. The boy apologized then looked back at Hiei who motioned to the nearest alley. The two slipped inside and the fire brat sighed. He wasn't good at this touchy feely crap, but it was dangerous to have a barely aware fox on a mission.

"What's going on in that pathetic head of yours?" Hiei snapped as he leaned against a wall and looked at the dazed teen. He seriously looked out of it. The teen slid down his own wall and sat on the ground as he massaged his head once more.

"Nothing."

"Stop saying nothing when it's not true. Your mother's getting married so what?" He snapped. "It's not like it's the end of the world. That we've dealt with and handled before, and so this should be nothing."

"I don't want a father." Kurama had whispered the words but the keen eared fire brat heard them anyway.

"Why not?" He had to keep pushing or else the teen would shut the world out again.

"My real father…Youko Kurama's father…we didn't get along very well." Hiei was surprised at how easily the boy was answering him. He'd been waiting all night for the brat to speak and now that he was speaking he just needed to keep it up. Surely this couldn't be all that was bothering the boy.

"It's a different man, why should you have a problem with a different man?" Something flashed across those green hues. Why indeed. The boy looked up at him and looked simply miserable. Not for the first time, Hiei had the thought that he couldn't handle human situations, as this clearly was one. He wondered if he should find Yusuke.

"It's not that simple."

"What? Do they look the same?" Yusuke grew up without a father as well…maybe he would be a good person to talk to...even that idiot Kuwabara would know something on the subject.

"No, nothing alike."

"Then what the hell's the matter with you?" Great, he'd made Kurama cry now. Tears were just falling down the boy's face and he felt more and more inclined to ditch the mission and bring the distraught teen somewhere that could help.

"I just…don't want them to get married!" Hiei put his hand on his eyes and groaned.

"Why?" The boy was sobbing freely now, hands rubbing at his eyes in misery. This was getting pathetic, this was an A class demon for gods sake. A class demons do not simply break out into tears! His resolve disappeared and he roughly grabbed Kurama by the arm. "Come here you." They were running again, Hiei practically dragging the boy with him. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Never did he ever imagine he'd have to deal with waterworks Kurama.

They were at Yusuke's house in less then ten minutes, Kurama barely making an effort to get away. It wouldn't have mattered, Hiei would have knocked the boy out if it meant his cooperation. He went over and banged hard on the glass window to Yusuke's room, and after several minutes the boy finally appeared, looking put out and exhausted.

"Hiei? Kurama? What are you doing-" The useless question was cut short when the Spirit Detective saw the tears on Kurama's face.

"I can't turn him off." Hiei muttered and Yusuke nodded as he went to open the door. The two entered the small home and followed the youngest of them to his room. He was already on the phone and asking for someone to come over. When he finished that call he dialed someone else. After about ten minutes he came over and sat down in front of them, all thoughts of exhaustion gone from his face.

"What happened?" He asked to both, though he doubted the leaking boy would answer.

"Hell if I know, he just won't shut up. Making it damn near impossible to do our mission."

"What mission?" Yusuke asked surprised, he hadn't even heard of it.

"Apparently demon trouble downtown, doesn't matter, where's the off switch on him already?" Hiei was more then impatient and as if in retaliation the teen let out another cry and more tears started pouring down his face. Yusuke was shocked by the whole thing, he too had never seen his friend cry from misery before.

"Kurama…what's going on? Is your mother alright?" That made more sobs come and the raven haired boy nodded to himself as he hit the nail on the head. "What happened, is she sick?"

"Apparently she's getting married." Hiei answered the question he'd already asked. A look of understanding came over Yusuke's face.

"To who?"

"Hell if I know." Hiei repeated. Yusuke shot him a look and waited, eventually through the sobs the name finally broke through.

"Who's that?" The name didn't ring any bells as he tried to place him.

"Mom-mom's boss at-at work. They-they st-started dating before I st-stole the mirror." He coughed and tried to wipe the tears away again.

"So's the guy a jerk or something?" Kurama's head shook 'no' and he stuttered out that he was kind, and nice, and that his mother truly seemed to love him. "So what's the problem? It just going to fast?" again Kurama shook his head 'no.' This time he didn't attempt to say anything just dissolved further into tears. There was a knock at the window and Hiei wondered just how many people got the kid's attention that way. Yusuke simply went to answer his door and there were hushed voices in the hall before Keiko and Kuwabara showed up behind him in the room. Kuwabara certainly had just woken up because he had his embarrassing pajamas on and a sleeping cap – who wore those anymore?!

Keiko ignored everyone and went to Kurama's side, arms immediately wrapping around him. She didn't care what was wrong, only offering the small amount of comfort she knew how to give. To everyone's surprise he returned the hug and cried into her shoulder miserably. She rubbed circles on his back saying "shhhh…it's alright…shhh…." Into his ear.

It took a while but finally the teen had calmed down long enough and the tears stopped flowing. In the mean time Kuwabara kept asking Yusuke in a hushed tone what happened. The fourteen year old snapped at him to shut up several times and they waited in silence for Keiko to work her magic and calm him down.

"Thank you…" He whispered softly when the girl released him and backed away to sit by her undeclared boyfriend.

"So what's going on in that freaky head of yours?" Yusuke asked as he returned from filling people caffinated beverages in the kitchen. He handed everyone a glass and then took a seat. "Why's your mom's marriage got you in such a twist?"

Kurama stared at the tea he was handed for a long time. His mind trying to come up with the right words as he thought over the hours past…

"Hatanaka…my mom's fiancé…he's a great guy…I'm sure…" The boy started, but he hesitated and took a sip of the drink. "I just…don't want a father."

"I hear that." Yusuke laughed. Keiko frowned at him and mouthed 'not helping' at him. Kuwabara jumped right in though.

"Why? I mean, having a dad's great. They give you money for allowance, and they take over some of the stuff mom's usually do – like cook on some nights. They bring in more money so your mom wont have to work as much and-"

"I know all that. I just…don't want to have a father in my life again." Kurama sighed and twisted the hot cup in his hands. It was an uncomfortable topic that he didn't like at all.

"Again?" Kuwabara paused unsure. "I thought you didn't have a dad." Emerald eyes flashed with something indescribable. Was it pain? Anger? Or just extreme sadness?

"I don't. I don't want one either."

"I'm confused." Carrot top said as he rubbed his head. "How come you don't want a father in your life again, if you never had one?"

"His real father you idiot." Hiei said from where he stood next to the far wall. "Youko Kurama's father."

"You remember your demon form's father?" Kurama looked affronted at that.

"Of course, do you remember your father?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"So why should I not remember mine?" Yusuke snickered at Kuwabara's bewilderment.

"I take it from what you said that you and your father didn't get along?" Keiko asked bringing them back on track. Kurama sighed and took another sip from his tea.

"You could say that."

"How would you say it?" The red head smiled, it was something he'd always liked about her. She was very smart, and knew how to get what she wanted.

"I would say that we hated each other with a passion."

"So you think that that's what's going to happen now?" Yusuke asked as everything came together for him with a nice ribbon on top.

"Something like that…"

"But there's more to it." Keiko supplied as she herself sipped her drink.

"He comes with a kid." Yusuke snorted.

"You make it sound like he's got leprosy or something." The Detective supplied as he attempted to stop grinning.

"Probably does." Kurama muttered as he looked at the floor. He clearly didn't like his step-father as much as his mother seemed to. The grin faded from Yusuke's face at his friend's less then pleased demeanor.

"How old is he?"

"I don't know, young…ish. Younger then me."

"That's not to hard you're over a thousand years old!" Kuwabara pointed out, only to have all eight eyes look at him with distaste.

"Why'd you call him here?" Hiei asked.

"Comic relief?" Yusuke muttered in reply before looking at the man of the evening. "What's his name?" At this the oldest teen took a very long sip of tea and then placed it back on the ground with fire in his eyes.

"Shuichi."

"That's your name!" Carrot top blurted out before he could stop himself. Kurama simply nodded and sighed again.

"Yes, it's another reason I'm not to thrilled with the whole thing."

"Not to thrilled, it's four in the morning and we're all up out of bed because you were bawling in my bedroom – I'd say you were a little bit more upset then not to thrilled." Yusuke said pointedly as he refilled the boy's glass.

"I don't know…I feel like he's going to replace me." And there it was the burst of insecurity that had haunted him this whole time. Keiko was the first to say anything, and it was completely out of character for her because she smiled at him and said

"Bull shit." Everyone looked at her in surprise. "Your mother's not going to ever replace you in her heart with this new kid. Even if he has the same name, and has a father who she may love with all her body and soul. That doesn't matter. You're still her son, her first son, the son she raised by herself when her first husband died. It doesn't matter that there's a new family coming in, all that matters is that she loves you – and she does. Don't ever think that she'll replace you. Parents just don't replace their children."

Jealousy, anger, sadness, rage, hurt, pain…they were all feelings that he'd felt when he'd been told about the brother and father he'd be getting. He hadn't once actually sat down and rationally thought about the whole thing. He hadn't once thought that nothing would change besides the noise level in the house. Keiko's words just made so much sense that he simply smiled.

"Thank you."

"As for your father, you're going to have to live with your insecurities. It's not the same person, and he wont treat you the same way, give him a chance before you hang him out to dry." She smiled. "And if all else fails and you can't stand living with them, Yusuke's going to let you move in."

"What?!" Her undeclared boyfriend rounded on her with a look of mock rage. "Who said that?!"

"I did." She said simply and everyone (except the ever stoic Hiei) laughed at his sputtering.

"So can we finally get some shut eye now?" They all nodded in agreement and flopped out on the floor (Yusuke chivalrously giving his bed to Keiko.) The next morning Yusuke decided to walk home with Kurama, and the whole group trotted out the door at the same time – passing Yusuke's very confused mother with polite 'hellos' and 'goodbyes.' She stared after them, wondering how she'd gone to bed with just her son in the house, and woken up with five teenagers (was that boy in black a teenager?) in her home.

As they walked Yusuke sighed and called to get his attention. He needed to say something, and wanted someone to hear. In his opinion, Kurama owed him an ear after last night.

"Hey…Kurama." The red head looked at him and 'hmmed' a response. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, go ahead." The older boy looked slightly bemused, but Genkai's heir didn't care.

"What exactly did Botan say about the reconnaissance and why I wasn't asked to look into it?"

"She said you were tired and had done so much lately that she wanted to give you a break, why?" The other was thinking hard but sighed.

"I just have this weird feeling, that's all." They walked in silence for a time. "You alright?" Yusuke asked as they made it to the front door and the teen hesitated a moment to long. Kurama looked at him for a moment and then sighed, nodding as he unlocked the front door and called that he was home.

"Shuichi?" A woman called and he said 'yes, I brought a friend with me!' "Oh, which one?"

"Yusuke, he was at the hospital when you woke up that time."

"Ah yes, I remember." The two teens walked further into the home and followed the voice until they made it to where she was sitting in the living room. Kurama felt his breath hitch at the site of Hatanaka with her. They were eating some type of pie and sipping some tea, and sitting in front of the TV was Shuichi (did that make him Jr. Jr. now? He remembered Koenma's hat and forced back a laugh at the thought of another junior). The boy was staring at him over the top of his chair and he found his eyes drawn to brown hair and dark eyes. "How was your day yesterday honey?" She was smiling so happily and Yusuke noticed the boy was still in a state of shock after seeing his new family members right there so soon after the talk last night (or that morning). He clapped a hand onto Kurama's shoulder and laughed.

"It was great, we watched that new movie that came out, and had a bit of a party at the pizza place with some other friends of ours." It was a bull shit lie, but it was said so clean Kurama almost believed it himself. He smiled at Yusuke's quick thinking and took a deep breath.

"So, this is Shuichi?" At the mention of his name the boy came parading around the chair and straight up to him. He raised a hand and with a smile and words that made his heart melt he said:

"Hi! I'm your new brother! Nice to meet you!" Maybe being a brother wasn't going to be so bad after all. He could even have fun, helping to raise him and all that stuff…Maybe everything really was going to be alright.

Phase Four:

Emerald eyes opened easily in the dark. It was after more then a millennia of thieving and fighting that he'd perfected waking up at the slightest noise. He would never be snuck up on in the dark. He sat up, braid falling from his shoulder as he did so. He liked sleeping with a braid, it made brushing it in the morning so much easier to do. He hadn't bothered during tournaments – his hair was a mess of tangles during them anyway. Still…when just sleeping at home he always braided the locks. Back to the noise…someone had tried sneaking in the house. He'd heard the lock being turned on the window even though he was several rooms away. It was quiet and painstakingly slow. Whoever was entering – didn't want to be caught. The window was slid open, and the mystery person pulled himself up and into the house.

He slid out of bed, feet padding silently on the floor as he made his way to his closed door. He leaned on it, listening carefully to the foot steps of the intruder. They were clumsy; a foot was being dragged as though limping. That was odd…who broke in a house while injured? He had to admit that he'd done it in the past – but that was different! The would be thief cursed as he tripped on the top step, falling to the ground with a bang. There were more curses, and the voice was eerily familiar. It couldn't be…why was he breaking into his own house?

He gave the younger teen some time to stand up and start walking again, and he wondered if he should ask what happened. When the boy passed quietly in front of his door, he grabbed his keys from his desk and his cell phone and opened it quickly. His step brother yelped in surprise, stumbled backwards and started to fall. Kurama's hand shot out and caught him, his other hand covering the teen's mouth to silence him. The boy had gasped when his arm was caught and looked as though he were about to cry. He obviously hadn't expected on being caught.

The two stood there for a while, staring at each other. The younger Shuichi looked petrified as the older was calm. Needlessly the older whispered "Quiet, they're asleep." His brother nodded in his hold and he took the hand off his mouth. He did his best to appear uninterested, frowning slightly at the boy. Something was wrong. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were sleeping over at your friend's house."

"I was, but…things changed. I didn't want to wake mom or dad to have them come get me, and so I walked home."

"Where are your keys? You didn't have to come through the window." The younger boy looked surprised at that, and Kurama realized that it was humanly impossible to have heard the minute noises that his brother had made sneaking in. He also was supposed to have just happened upon the boy, not knowingly catch him in the act. "I was looking for my keys when I saw you open the window." He supplied as he held the objects in question up as defense.

"I left mine at Yuki's house." Kurama frowned. That was almost too forgetful. The moonlight came full force as it appeared from behind a cloud, and at that green eyes met with a growing bruise on the boy's face. He hissed and caught the boy by the hair before he could turn away from his step brother. He held the younger child's face in his palm as his thumb lightly ran over it. He'd been punched. Who the hell punched his brother? He remembered the gasp and look the boy'd given him when he'd grabbed his arm, and tugged his sleeve up – more bruises. "It's nothing." The boy insisted.

"Explain nothing to mom when she gets a look at your face tomorrow. Come here." He half dragged half carried the boy back into his room and pushed him onto the bed. The younger boy looked panicked for a moment and was shivering like a leaf on a windy day. Kurama went and closed his door while turning the lights on so he could have a better look at the bruises.

"What are you going to do?" Shuichi asked as it looked like he was about to cry.

"I'm going to treat your wounds." He replied as he walked over to his balcony and started messing with his plants. His brother stared at him as though he were insane, and a thought crossed his mind to run at the door and disappear through it. Yet he doubted in his condition he could out run his stepbrother. He doubted in any condition he could out run the teen.

"How…?" Finally finding what he was looking for and getting it in excess, the nineteen year old came back and knelt before his brother. He had several leaves in his palm and he showed them to him. "Leaves?"

"Medicinal, they'll reduce the swelling around your eye, hold still." He easily cracked the leaf in his palm – he'd actually commanded it to break clean with his demonic power, but that didn't matter at this point. He raised the leaf that was now oozing gel and placed it on the bruise. Almost instantly it started working and he moved to do the same to the boy's arm. "Anywhere else?" The boy shook his head while staring at the effects of the leaf. "If you're going to lie to me, you could at least lie about something trivial. I could hear you limping through the house when you came in." He didn't add that the smell of blood was attacking his senses. He raised one of his pant let legs and hissed as he saw the vicious bite marks on the ankle. "This is from a dog." He said as he looked at the bites with distaste.

"They're really not as bad as they look." The boy said quietly as Kurama left the room and came back with something that could have resembled a first aid kit. "It was Yuki's puppy, I kicked in by accident and it bit me."

"These are too jagged and far apart for a puppy. It bit and tore the skin, puppies' teeth aren't capable of this type of damage." The elder brother and gone back to his window sill, this time coming back with several different types of plants. "These prevent infection." He supplied as he snapped some of the leaves and started to apply them to the open wounds. He raised his leg and rested it on a chair as he worked; intent on stopping the bleeding as soon as possible. He cleared the dried blood off the skin, and took a roll of gauze in his palm. He wrapped the ankle with as much care as he could and left it elevated as he finished wrapping it. "How long has this been bleeding?" He asked as he started looking at his medicinal supply bag.

"Not to long, maybe half an hour."

"It was stopping on it's own…that's good. I didn't want to have to put a tourniquet on it."

"Tourniquet?!" The boy seemed very surprised at that, Kurama looked up at him and frowned.

"It stops the blood flow, it's used in extreme situations only but if it hadn't started to clot then I would have been forced to use one. The consequences of using one are drastic though."

"Where did you learn all of this stuff? You're not a doctor." The boy was looking at him with a mix of awe and admiration. Kurama just smiled and shook his head.

"I have quite a lot of overly rambunctious friends." He replied as he knelt before the boy. It was true…even if the real truth was a little bit more detailed then that. "Now, take off your shirt."

"What?!" The boy scooted back on the bed but his elder brother pulled him back to the edge.

"The bruise on your arm and face are the only obvious ones, but you don't get bruises like that without getting struck in the chest. It's a natural reaction to strike there since that's where there's more space. You've lied once before about there being nothing else, and unless you want me to pull that off of you take it off." The boy hesitated a moment longer but the threat of having it forcibly removed was not pleasing at all. He pulled off the object and lay it in his lap, head down to avoid his brother's eyes. Bruises were all over his chest and back, his throat even had strangle holds on them. The red head didn't say anything as he started putting more ointment and bandages on the boy, wrapping the chest when he had to. He didn't comment as the younger boy started openly crying, his hands beating the tears off his face when ever they came. He simply waited for the boy to stay still once more before continuing.

"Don't you want to know why I have these?" he moaned miserably.

"It doesn't change the fact you still have them. I'm not going to make you tell me about anything if you don't want to." He replied, the boy would tell him in his own time.

"Where were you going to go…when I walked in?" It was an odd question that had the fox confused for a moment. He wasn't going to go anywhere…oh yes…the white lie he'd said to save face.

"A friend of mine needed help with something." He smiled at his brother he wasn't lying…really…just misleading. "It's more important that I stay here anyway." They sat in silence, Kurama going to make something to eat while his brother fidgeted. Let him stew…he'd speak soon enough.

"It's my fault." Shuichi was sitting there miserably his hands fidgeting with his shirt's hem as it was now placed back on his aching body. Kurama didn't say anything but listened to the boy's tale. "I didn't know that she was this guy – Kazu's – girlfriend. If I had I never would have talked to her." Kazu…that was one of the kids in his school. He frowned. He was several years older then Shuichi, it would have been an extremely unfair fight. "It's just that…she looked so lonely at the party I just wanted her to have a good time…We were outside talking when Kazu showed up with this dog…he just told it to get me so I took off running." The boy was crying again and Kurama sighed. He could picture what happened. The dog tripped him and locked onto his ankle and wouldn't let go until it's master came with his buddies. Then they proceeded to beat the boy within an inch of his life. Shuichi's friends would have been threatened to not help or go near him again and so he was forced to stumble and limp all the way home. It was just a bully who wanted to make his place in the world. A bully who very soon would meet an end to his game.

"Go to sleep Shuichi. We'll think of something to tell mother in the morning." Kurama started out the door. "I need to help my friend, now. Apologize for being late…you'll be fine in the morning."

"Shuichi-"

"You said once that we should have nicknames. My friends call me Kurama."

"Kurama…then?"

"Yes, go to sleep we'll talk in the morning."

That night Kurama found the boy and for ever bruise on his brother's body, he struck the other in the same location. When morning came and the news came on saying that a boy had been beaten terribly in the park, Shuichi coughed up his cereal when he saw who it was. He sputtered and turned to his step brother who simply said that he was helping his friend that night, and that he wasn't anywhere near the park. It was true. He'd beaten the boy in the ally four miles away, maybe he got up and ran.

It's not fair.

Kurama screamed again, his body being thrown carelessly against the tower floor. From in their individual cells, the Spirit Detectives were shouting - trying to stop this madness before it continued.

It's just not fair.

Botan was weeping in her own cell as she could see the fox's spirt slowly start to drain out of the boy's body. Very soon now someone would come and would take his soul away to be judged. He was going to die here, and there would be nothing any of them could do.

Life wasn't fair but...this was truly not fair.

Yusuke himself was starting to feel the effects of the bastard's treatment of Kurama. The red head had affected them all in someway, so it was useless to say that he wasn't important to the group. Still, as the young detective looked at the older teen's prone form, he felt all former resolve dissapear. He was going to be forced to watch yet another friend die.

It's just...not fair.

Hiei was staring at his friend with pain in his heart. It was Kurama who was the first to befriend him. Kurama who was the first to suggest that they listen to Koenma and get out of going to jail in exchange for helping people. None other but Kurama held his uptmost respect, and because of that he knew that it was why he felt his heart breaking as the horrid demon before them beat the boy senseless.

Not fair at all...

Kuwabara kept trying to summon his useless spirit sword to cut through the bars of his cell, but it was not meant to be. He was meant to be useless (as always) just as Kurama was meant to die that day. The carrot top finally gave up on the sword and tried to beat and bend the bars to submission. Nothing worked. Nothing ever would work.

Why...did it have to be like this?

The demon stepped towards Kurama's dying body and he laughed visciously as he grabbed the teen by the neck - slamming him into the wall closest to Hiei's cell. The human coughed, blood slipping from his mouth, and opened hazy green eyes to look at his murderer.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

More pressure was applied to his neck, and the teen coughed uselessly. He didn't even bother to try to knock the hand away, he didn't have the strength. His emerald eyes attempted to focus once more, yet they easily slipped back out. The orbs closed and his breath eased out of him. His friends were screaming, but the teen didn't hear them any longer. All he heard was the pounding of his heart in his head. The beat was off rhythm, and it irked him, but he let his form go limp. He let his body relax...and he let himself be strangled without another fight.

Hiei had somehow managed to reach them, his arm grabbing the demon's wrist and tugging it from Kurama's lithe throat. The demon angrily sent a wave of force at the smaller yokai, but the exile simply held his ground. Shuichi Minamino had fallen to the ground and was simply laying there like a rag doll. His life was not yet extinguished, but he'd long since given up any kind of hope.

"Leave him alone." Hiei ground out as he attempted to summon all his strength to attack the vile creature before him.

"Or you'll do what?" The demon stepped closer to the fire brat and dared to press his foot against the unconscious fox's neck. Hiei lashed out and just managed to punch the creature through the bars. The oppressor stumbled back and the smaller demon sank to his knees, arms managing to drag Shuichi towards him. The human's back was pressed against the bars and it almost looked like a hug from where everyone else was standing. it was a useless gesture though, for when the murderer came back - he would easily rip the human from Hiei's hold. He would easily and effortlessly kill the boy and let his friends mourn solemly for his death.

It shouldn't have been this easy.

It was the drug, they'd all been drugged at a restaurant that Kuwabara had insisted they go to. Almost instantly they'd passed out, their energy running much lower then it should have been. The drug had put a hold on all spiritual and demonic powers that they possessed. They'd been transported to a castle in gods knows where, and woke up in these cells...

Kurama had been the last to awaken, for some reason the drug affected him more then the others. When their captor appeared and started mocking them, they asked what had happened to their red headed companion.

"That beast stole something from me years ago - and I want it back." Apparently the fox in his demon years had stolen a dagger from the creature that would easily open any lock and kill with a single strike. The beast went on to explain that the drug that'd been put into thier drinks was used as a sedetive when transporting criminals from one place to another - criminals of the unatural kind - and in it there was a very strong allergen to all fox demons.

The half of Shuichi's soul was dying and so when he was finally prodded awake, the pain in his body was more then enough to nearly send him over the edge. His friends watched in horror and misery as he thrashed and screamed, convulsed and wept, vomited and clawed at himself. He didn't even appear to be human anymore, though he had certainly not crossed over into the demonic plane. No...he was just in such agony that he writhed and struck at his body. There seemed to be no logical thought in him at all.

The demon dragged the suffering human into the center of the room. He knelt before him and struck him across the face. The already tormented boy howled in pain and colapsed into the fetal position. Over and over he was struck and beaten, his body convulsing and falling into seizures every once and a while. The murderer asked time and time again where the knife was hidden. He said he'd give the boy the antidote as long as he said where the knife was hidden, but the boy was past the point of sanity. He'd lost complete control over his body and emotions, and he had no idea where the knife was buried.

He begged for the anitdote, something that none of the spirit detectives ever expected of Kurama. They never expected begging. Yet the pain was intolerable, and the boy had no clear thought in his mind. Yusuke demanded that the demon cure the horrible sight before them, yet the demon cared not.

"He cant tell you if he's like this! You have to heal him!"

"Never! Never will I help this creature!"

"You're the creature!"

Now unconscious and finally with a look of peace on his face, Kurama lay against the bars between him and Hiei. The smaller demon not daring to let him go for even a moment. The monster before them growled as he looked at the sight, but seemed to finally come to some senses. There was no way Kurama could tell him of the blade if he was unconscious and senseless. He moved and pulled a vial from his pocket, before going towards the human and forcing the boy to swallow it. Hiei had tensed during the exchange, but let him do it, wanting to see his friend awake and gods forbid any take not of his thoughts - smiling.

It took several hours before anything noticeable happened. In that time Kurama's body twitched and turned restlessly, yet it still showed signs of life. The monster stared at the boy angrily, his eyes in feirce slits. He wanted to know where his knife was, and all this waiting was not his strong suit. Finally loosing his patience entirely, he moved over to the teen and roughly kicked him in the ribs. The fox groaned and curled in on himself, but his eyes opened and had regained some of their former light. The haze was still there, yet he appeared to be stronger then he was earlier.

"Where's my knife boy?" It seemed as though the words finally made sense, because the teen frowned dispite the pain and replied for the first time during this entire horrid exchange.

"I dont have it." It was clear he recognized the demon, but from where no one knew. Hiei still held him through the bars, knowing it was the only thing he could do to offer any comfort at all to the pained body. The monster's rage grew though and he struck the teen once more. Yusuke started screaming again, telling him to stop since he'd gotten his answer.

"Who does?!" The boy hadn't answered, his hand had clutched a bar he lay on instead. His form shook, still agitated from the effects of the drug. "Who has it?!" The creature had flipped the boy over, a hand clutching his throat as he smashed the boy's head against the ground. Kurama gasped in pain and Hiei once more tried to throw the man off of the boy, only to have himself thrown across his cell. The monster pulled the kitsune up from the floor and started to make his way over to a table where there were more viles. "Tell me who has it and I wont inject you with more of the allergen." Something flashed across Kurama's eyes - was it pain? No, it was something else. The other had described it correctly and snapped at him for it. "Dont you dare give me that look you ungrateful waste of space!" His eyes were struck by something hard - was it the ring the creature wore on his hand? Regardless he didn't dare open his eyes again. "Who has it?!"

"Kuronowe took it." He whispered and closed his eyes at unwanted memories. The slap across his face was all he had as notion that the monster was displeased.

"What happened to it after that little brat died?"

"I dont know." I became a human then... That dammed mirror that they never should have tried to take. This monster would never have known the dagger was taken had the heist gone off without a hitch.

"You're useless." Another slap, another punch, another hand around his throat. "Your mother never should have given birth to you." Which mother? His human mother? Or his true mother. Neither this creature had any right to say anything about.

"Go to hell." Kurama whispered, his voice still hoarse from the constant strangulation his body went through.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? Then you and your useless friends could go home. That pathetic planet isn't even worth living in." The creature laughed and grabbed a fist full of red hair. He tugged it hard and pulled the teen to his feet so he could deliver a more effective punch to the boy's abdomen. He released the teen letting him fall to his knees and then to his side. "I should kill you now, but your mother would've been quite displeased I imagine." He delivered another kick to the boy's body, and then stepped back to the table with the vials on it. "I wonder what she'd say about this mess." He moved and picked up a glass and started walking back towards the teen. "Though I doubt it matters now." He knelt beside the boy and shoved him onto his back, catching both hands as they attempted to push him away and he crushed them under one of his knees. His hands struggled fruitlessly as they tried to get out from under their hold, but he simply applied more pressure to the younger's appendages. Catching the boy's chin he looked into nearly clear green eyes. "I killed her." The shock and horror that appeared on the teen's face was enough to have him open his stubborn mouth. The demon poured the substance in and clamped a hand on Kurama's lips to keep him from spitting it out.

The boy kicked and clawed - his hands finally breaking free, his body writhing to get away. Anger coursed through his veins as he saw only the monster's death in his mind. He refused to swallow watever it was that he'd put in his mouth, he refused to have anything to do with it. He struck out hard and fast, catching the demon in the throat. He loosed the grip on the younger's face, and the teen spat out the liqued over and over. He rolled away and pushed himself onto unsteady feet as the news continued to sink into his mind. His mother was dead and it's this creatures' fault.

Laughter reached his ears and his eyes narrowed with such hate that the jubilant noise only increased. The creature stood and looked at the stubborn kitsune human. His eyes roved over the boy's body, and he laughed again.

"Are you angry with me? Youko?" The teen's body was completly tense and practically shaking as he tried to control his rage. "Angry that I slit that bitch's throat?" If it were possible the teen grew even more enraged, his whole form near convulsions it was shaking so terribly. "You should have heard her. Her screams never sounded so sweet."

"Stop it." He ground out, trying to control himslef. He knew he couldn't kill this monster, but it didn't stop him from wanting to. If he tried to kill him, it would be him who ended up dead. He was no match for this opponent.

"'Stop it'" The creature mimiked laughing. "You should have heard her say stop it. When I raped her disgusting form before the kill. Oh how she begged me to kill her. She even said your name."

The words finally broke his resolve and with far more speed then a human should have, Kurama charged forward, hands going straight for his neck as he forced all his demonic energy towards the man looking demon. His hands even grew claws just long and short enough to cause damage, he slashed at the face, the neck, the chest, the torso, even the legs and groin. He just wanted this man to shut up. To shut up and die. Finally however his original fears were realized as instead of actually causing damage to his opponent, he gave the demon the out he was looking for. He plunged his clawed hand forward and imbeded itself in the human's abdomen. He could feel the hand nearly break out to the otherside and he gasped as he fell to his knees. His claws had long since dissapeared as he put his hands on the wound in complete surprise.

"You never could defeat me. You're such a weak little kitsune. Such a weak little son." With that the demon waved his hand. The bars on the Spirit Detective's cells rose and they were released from their hold. They ran to their companion who was gasping and trying to focus his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "You're a failure. A complete and utter failure." With that the demon dissapeared never to be heard from again.

Kurama was dying again. He didn't mind. He lost all will to live now. He was ready to die.

The sound of beeping woke him up. He groaned as he opened his eyes and looked at the world around him. Someone gasped in the corner and rushed to his bed side, a hand was touching his hair, a hand clutching one of his. The image of his mother was there and he felt his heart break as she looked at him with such worried eyes.

"Son? Are you alright? How do you feel?" She had tears in her eyes, but he didn't seem to notice, instead he looked away.

"I'm alive?" He asked as he continued to hear the hospital's heart moniter beeping. He wondered where his true father was. Where he was so that one day he could rip his throat out for lying to him like that.

"Yes, the doctors said that you were extremely lucky you were brought here so quickly. They said that you could have died if you had been just a few minutes to late." The woman was crying and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him gently to her chest.

"Mom..."

"I was so worried. Your friends came to the house and scared me half to death." The humor was lost on Kurama who could easily remember hearing how his mother died. "They were in such a fright, saying that you'd been mugged and were dying!" He could almost see Yusuke stumbling on words as he saw the woman he too thought was dead. He imagined what his brother thought about the whole situation. "I'm so glad you're alright son..."

"Me too mom. Are you alright?" He asked quietly as she let him go to look at his gentle yet bruised face.

"I'm fine dear, just so upset to see you hurt like this."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright...just please dont get hurt again, I dont know what I'd do if I lost you." Kurama smiled and noticed movement out his hospital window, he could just make out Hiei's form on a tree limb not to far away. The fire demon was attempting to not look interested or caring, but he could still see the look of relief on his small friend's face. It appeared like everyone had been through an emotional rollar coaster with this one. Hopefully things got better soon.

"You'll live on, I know you will." Kurama smiled and remembered how he gave up at the thought of his mother dead. He had lost all reason to live when she died. Yet there was one reason just outside the window, and five more just outside the door. He could feel them coming closer, and when the door opened and Yusuke and Kuwabara rushed in, he smiled at them. "I'm sorry I gave up." was all he said before they enveloped him in a hug and started saying how worried they were about him. Maybe things would get back to normal now, and he was ready to finally start enjoying life for what it was. Maybe being a Spirit Detective...wasn't that bad after all.

Windstar: I have no idea where this came from, but I really enjoyed writing it.

YYH does not belong to me, nor do any of the characters in it.