I don't get many calls.
I got used to it long ago. A militant, totalitarian group like the Decepticons doesn't need a detective. They simply decide who they think committed the crime and execute him or her. Trials are a waste of time.
However, once in a while—if they're bored, or if those involved rank high enough, or maybe they're just feeling lazy—they bring me in.
I was sitting in the lone chair of my small quarters, in low-power mode. The lights had turned off days ago, just a few hours after the film I'd been watching had run its course and turned to static. The flickering screen was now the only light source in the room.
I had probably been sitting there for nearly half an Earth week when the screen abruptly came to life.
"Spade?"
My low-power mode clicked off at the sound; my return to full power took a few moments, though.
"Spade? You there?"
"Yezz," I slurred. The speech circuits got their energy allotment. "Oh, hi, Frenzy. What's going on?"
"We need you down in Central. There's been a murder."
I perked up at that. "A murder? Whose?"
"Narwys, one of the new ones," Frenzy responded.
I tried to place a face to the name...a young female transformer, shaped like an aquatic earth mammal, came to mind.
"Any suspects?"
"Yeah, Starscream," Frenzy said. "He's in the brig now."
"Starscream?"
"That's what I said. Now get down here. Megatron's orders."
"All right, all right, keep your shirt on, fella," I muttered. Frenzy looked down, as if searching for a garment on his robotic chest. I switched off the screen.
----
I still don't know why, but Megatron built Decepticon Headquarters underwater. I'm something of a claustrophobe, and I've always hated those windows, with the various Earth creatures swimming outside them. Occasionally something interesting might swim by—a shark or a whale, or once, a giant squid (which one of the Seacons had promptly killed for sport)—but usually, it was just dark and creepy.
Tonight, however, the flicker of the curious fish was almost distracting as I pondered this new case. When I had reached Base Central, Soundwave had briefed me on the situation. Apparently, the only witness had been Rumble, who had heard a noise while on guard duty that night. Walking into the rec room, he discovered the destroyed Narwys and an unconscious Starscream, who had a few blast wounds of his own. The Decepticon doctor, Frankenstron, was waiting for me to show up before he checked out the body.
Before I left, however, Megatron had called me into his office. There I was given a stern lecture about the need for order among the Decepticons.
"Spade," Megatron had said, "you realize that something like this can reflect badly upon my command. Starscream is my right hand."
"Yes, sir," I'd replied. "Don't worry, I'll find the culprit."
"Of course. However, despite the need to save face, I want you to understand—find this murderer, whoever he is, and expose him. He will be dealt with in the proper manner. And if it is indeed Starscream..."
I made my way down to the infirmary, where Frankenstron was watching a Earth television show. Frankenstron was a valuable rarity among Decepticons; a medical technician. It was a fairly unpopular trade in the Decepticon ranks. Not much room for glory when you're fixing up the other warriors.
"Hey, Frankie," I said. "What you got for me?"
The transformer looked up. "Ah, Spade, I've been waiting for you."
"Where's the body?"
He left the television on and led me over to a small table, where what remained of Narwys was stretched out. "From my examination," Frankenstron said as he selected a few instruments from his desk, "she seems to have been destroyed by common blaster fire."
I nodded as I looked over the purple-shaded corpse. Small black holes peppered her chest, surrounded by carbon scoring.
Frankenstron came over and regarded the body a moment. He seemed a little nervous; he had just arrived the previous month, I knew, and probably hadn't dealt with very many dead bodies.
"Such a shame," he said. "She and I came on the same ship from Cybertron last month. I just saw her yesterday in training, too. Pretty good looking, huh?"
I glanced at her face. "She was. Any chance you could pull a blaster signature off that scoring?"
He waved a thin tube over one of the holes. After a moment, he said: "Yep, just what I thought. Standard 480. That could be Starscream, all right. It could also be Skywarp, Thundercracker, Nightwind, you..."
"I know, I know," I muttered. "And anyone else who went and grabbed a gun from Stores. What about the trajectories? Any ideas?"
"Well, judging from the distance of the holes and their frequency, it was definitely automatic fire, consistent with Starscream's blasters. It's entirely possible that he did it. It's also possible that, like you said, someone swiped a gun from Stores."
"Well, it looks like I won't make a whole lot of progress here," I said. "All right, let me know if you find anything else, Frankie. I'm going to go talk to Starscream."
----
When I came to the dark brig, a few levels below the ocean floor, I asked the guard to deactive the shield. I found Starscream sitting in a corner, nervously rolling his thumbs over each other.
"Spade!" he exclaimed. "What's happening? What are they going to do to me? Tell me! I didn't do it, Spade! You know I would never—"
"Starscream, shut up!" I hissed. "Calm down. Getting hysterical won't do you any good."
He sat back down dejectedly. "I didn't do it, Spade," he muttered.
"So you say," I replied as I pulled out a data recorder.
He looked up with malice in his eyes. "You don't believe me?"
"As a matter of fact, I do. But what I believe doesn't matter here. Only facts."
"Facts," Starscream echoed.
"Right. Now, what, from your memory, are the facts? What happened last night in that rec room?"
"I—I don't remember," he replied. "One minute I'm in there watching a holovid, and the next—"
"Hang on," I interrupted. "Don't give me any of that garbage. Start earlier—what were you doing an hour before you went to the rec room?"
Starscream sighed, shaking his head slightly. "I...I don't know, I think we had a meeting...yeah, there was a meeting."
"Who was there?"
"Uh, it was Megatron, Soundwave, and me," he replied. "Megatron's got some new plan coming up. Something about oil tankers—Earth ships."
"All right. So what time did this meeting start?"
"Around ten at night, Earth time."
"And it ended?"
"Around a half past midnight."
"And you went straight to the rec room?"
"Yes..." He faltered.
"Yes?" I echoed. "'Scream, this isn't the time to lie, trust me. Where did you go after the meeting?"
"I went to see Nightwind," he admitted.
"What about?"
"That's none of your business," he said defiantly.
"Does it have anything to do with Narwys?"
"No!"
"Are you lying?"
"Damn it, Spade, no!" Starscream cried. "Look, just forget about it, all right?"
I made a mental note to pursue this avenue with Nightwind. "All right, fine. What time did you leave Nightwind's quarters?"
"About one in the morning."
"Okay. And then...?"
"I went to the rec room, like I usually do around one. I wanted to watch an old holovid—a favorite of mine, The Conquests of Sarcyst."
"And was Narwys in the room when you went in?"
"No," he replied. "In fact, I don't remember her coming in at all. All I remember is that I had just reached the part when Sarcyst forces the surrender of Hegevus IV when I heard blaster fire in the main rec room. I left the holo area and almost immediately, someone must have hit me—because everything went black."
"Really. So you didn't see Narwys at all?"
"Nope. I didn't see anyone. When I came to, I was being picked up by Thundercracker and Skywarp. And Megatron was there, with Soundwave."
"What happened then...?"
"Megatron said that I'd killed Narwys, and would have to be put to death. I said I didn't do it, and..." He hesitated. "And then I begged him to stop, but he took aim at me—and then Skywarp protested. Thundercracker joined him, and they pleaded for me to be given a chance to prove myself innocent."
I mulled this over. Megatron hadn't mentioned this little incident. Not particularly unusual for him...it was just new information. "All right, 'Scream. I'm going to do some more investigating into this. But first, is there anything else that I should know? Did you spend any time with Narwys during her time here? Did you know her at all?"
"She was a new recruit," he replied. "Fresh off the shuttle from Cybertron. She was only here a month. And no, I didn't spend any time with her, beside the usual training sequences."
I tapped a few more things in my data recorder, then folded it and put it away. "I'm going to investigate more into this, 'Scream. You just sit tight, all right? And if you think of anything else, be sure to call for me."
"Okay," he agreed. "Spade...thank you."
"Just doing my job," I said, and I left.
----
It took about ten doorchimes to get a response.
"Who is it?" a voice asked over the intercom.
"It's me, 'Wind. Open the damned door, for Primus's sake."
After a moment, the door slid into the wall, revealing a completely dark room. Given her jet-black paint job (pardon the pun; 'Wind, like Starscream, Thundercracker, Skywarp and me, transforms into the likeness of an Earth jet), I could scarcely see her inside. I altered my vision, playing through a few spectrums, and finally found her sitting on the floor in the far corner of the room, her legs crossed in an odd manner.
"Um, 'Wind...what precisely are you doing...?"
"It's called yoga," she responded. "It's an Earth meditation technique. It's quite peaceful. You should try it."
"Yeah. Sure. Some other time." I sat down in a chair and made myself comfortable. "Look, 'Wind, we need to talk."
Her eyes didn't open. "This is about Starscream, right?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know if I can talk about it, Spade."
"Really...and why is that?"
"I'm not sure Starscream would want me to."
"I see. Well, let's look at the facts here. First of all, Starscream's my friend too—maybe I'm not as close as you two, but we're no strangers. Secondly, if I don't get Starscream off the hook, Megatron will kill him. I'm sure of it. He's already itching to do so—'Cracker and 'Warp barely saved him last night."
"I know, I know," she muttered, unfolding from her position and opening her eyes. "What do you want to know?"
"'Scream claims he was here last night, talking to you, from about twelve-thirty to one, Earth time. That true?"
"Yes."
"And what'd you two talk about?"
"Oh, stuff...he always tells me about the upcoming plans."
"Really. Tell me...should he be doing that?"
"What, telling me the plans? What difference does it make? Megatron just tells us a few weeks later."
"I suppose. All right. Is that all you talked about?"
Nightwind paused. I knew then I'd get more out of her; she was an awful liar, especially to me, and she knew it. I decided to press her gently.
"I need to know everything. 'Wind. No matter how bad it is."
"It's...it's really bad, Spade. To the point where...where I'm not sure Starscream is innocent."
I sighed. "Primus. Spill it, 'Wind. I need to know."
She sat silent for a moment, then stood and began pacing.
"It's me, 'Wind. And this is Starscream we're talking about. I don't want to see him dead any more than you do."
"I know!" she muttered. "All right, look. Starscream...he, he had something with this Narwys. Like, he kind of..."
"You're joking."
"No I'm not. She just showed up last month, you know, and the two of them really...really hit it off. And so, he's been coming to me and talking to me about her, you know?"
She was getting really exasperated, and I was pretty sure I knew why. Despite the gravity of the situation, a small grin crossed my face. She missed it. "That must have been hard on you," I said.
"It was, it—" she began. "Hey, wait, what do you mean?"
"Nothing."
"What? Tell me what that meant!"
"Nothing, 'Wind," I said, my face deadpan.
"Spade—"
"Drop it, 'Wind. So he had a thing for this Narwys. Well, killing her certainly doesn't seem like a way to show it, does it?"
"No, but it does mean he has a connection with her..." 'Wind replied. "What if...what if he tried to do something that she didn't want?"
"We both know Starscream, 'Wind. I don't think that's what happened here...although of course I can't rule it out. Not yet, anyway. Do you know anything else about this? Was he planning on doing something about it last night, that you know of?"
"No," she said. "We just talked about it again, as always."
"Anything particular in the conversation? Something that doesn't usually come up? An incident, personal concerns?"
"Not that I—wait! That's right. Megatron walked in during training exercises yesterday, and saw them talking—well, flirting is the word Starscream used."
"Really..." I said. "Well, that certainly puts a new light on things."
"You think Megatron did this?"
"I'm not going to say what I think," I said, mulling it over in my mind. "One last thing—did Starscream send any messages while he was here?"
She considered. "No, definitely not."
"Thanks." I stood up. "Don't worry, 'Wind...I think Starscream's going to be fine."
----
I had to wait outside Megatron's office for twenty minutes. He was sitting in his chair, mulling over his computer screen, when I came in.
"Ah, Spade," Megatron said with his usual convincing congeniality. "I trust you have made some progress in the Narwys case?"
"Yes, sir," I responded. "In fact, I believe I've solved it."
"Excellent," he replied. "And what have you found? Is Starscream guilty?"
I sat back. "No," I said.
"Really," he said. As usual, my fearless leader was utterly incapable of hiding his emotions. He was both surprised and pissed off.
"No, it wasn't Starscream. It was you."
That brought out a laugh, touched with nervousness. "That's absurd. You're a fool, Spade." He got up, and his voice became a little angrier. "I should kill you for such insolence!"
"Then go ahead. Or perhaps you'd like to hear my reasoning first...?"
He hovered a moment, then sat back down again. "This should be amusing."
"Well," I began, "from the information I've gathered, it seems that Starscream and Narwys had something of an attraction for each other."
"What—!"
"Allow me to finish. Starscream and Narwys had something of an attraction for each other. But given the nature of Starscream's position as second-in-command and the relative rarity of romance in our society anyway, there might have been a scandal had anything become public knowledge. So the only thing Starscream could do was to occasionally end training exercises early, and spend that allotted time with Narwys. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but at some point you, or more likely Soundwave, took notice of this strangely charitable behavior of our friend Starscream. Am I right?"
Megatron was silent for a moment, glaring at me with his red eyes. "Soundwave noticed it three days ago."
"Ah. So yesterday morning, you decide to see what's up, and storm in on the training session once Starscream has dismissed the others, catching them in—well, in some sort of compromising circumstance, even if it was just the two of them wasting time. And then what did you do? Threaten them? Tell them to break it off, or bad things might happen?"
Megatron just sat there, silent. His face was pretty grim, though.
"Well, I'm sure it was something like that. Well...so last night, Starscream's in the rec room and—what do you know?—Narwys is there too. I checked the comm panel in her quarters, and it seems she received a message around a quarter to one last night. A message from Starscream, telling her to meet him in he rec room at half past one. Funny thing, though—Starscream was in Nightwind's room at a quarter to one, and he didn't send any messages."
"Bah!" Megatron exclaimed. "You honestly believe the word of that tart? She'd lie in a second to save her precious Starscream!"
"Perhaps," I said. "That thought occurred to me as well, so I checked Starscream's comm panel and—wouldn't you know it?—the message was sent from his very room. But I checked Transponder Control, and Starscream was indeed in Nightwind's room the whole time.
"But here's the strange thing..." I said, furrowing my brow as if puzzled. "It seems that Soundwave was in Starscream's room at a quarter to one. Tell me, sir...what would he be doing there?"
He just glared at me. Frankly, I was beginning to get a bit frightened—I was on extremely thin ice at this point, and an attitude would probably get me a face full of fusion blast. But I kept my poker face on.
"Want to know what I think happened? All righty then. Your second-in-command was running around with some dame." His brow furrowed at the word "dame," but I went on: "That was something you couldn't have—he might make wrong decisions in a battle, he might not make the same sacrifices he would normally. Plus, you've had it in for Starscream from day one. Everyone knows that. So here was a wonderful opportunity to dispose of him once and for all. You sent the message, and sure enough, Narwys was there on time. You—or Soundwave, on your orders—came out of the shadows, shot her, then knocked out Starscream when he investigated. He wakes up, and looks like the prime suspect—so you try to kill him on the spot. But Thundercracker and Skywarp intervene—and you yield, because it would be pretty bad for your control of the Decepticons if you randomly executed your own men. So you lock him up and call me, hoping I won't figure it out. The problem is, you didn't even try to cover your tracks."
Megatron was silent for a moment. Finally he said, "It didn't happen that way."
"No? It certainly looks like it did."
He slammed his fist on the table. "It didn't happen that way!"
"Is that an order, sir? Because it didn't take a whole lot of effort for me to see the connections. And other Decepticons are going to see them too. Pretty soon, everyone will know that you framed Starscream. And if you kill him, then your control is even less stable. Face it, sir—you're not a popular leader. You're a strong one."
He was nearly quivering with rage, and I began to wonder if I'd overstepped my bounds. I shrugged internally and played my trump card. "Anyway, if anything happens to me, a certain message will flash on every single screen in this base."
"You're bluffing."
"Try me...sir."
He stood abruptly and clasped his hands behind his back. He began pacing a bit. "Suppose things did occur the way you say they did. Hypothetically."
"Yes, hypothetically," I agreed.
"Then the situation must be settled without a loss of morale." He tapped one finger on his crossed arm. "I have it. We must say that Narwys malfunctioned. She malfunctioned and attacked Starscream, and he was forced to kill her." He faced me. "You will release that as the findings of your case?"
I sighed inwardly. I'd hoped to avoid this—it wasn't fair to dishonor the dead like this—but Megatron had already been more cooperative than I'd hoped for, and sacrifices had to be made. "Yes, sir, I'll release that."
"Excellent. Then it's as good as fact." He sat down again, then asked, "Will Starscream agree to it?"
"I think so," I replied. "If he doesn't, well, then—execute him."
Megatron nodded. "Go ask him. If he agrees, tell the jailer to free him immediately, on my order. If not, he'll be executed immediately."
I got up. "Yes, sir."
As I headed for the door, Megatron said, "I hate you, Spade. Cross my path again, and you'll pay for it."
"Yes, sir."
----
"Never!"
"'Scream, listen. You either agree to it, or die. If you say that you were just trying to protect her honor, then you even look good!"
"Spade, how can you ask me to do that? It's shameful! It's a disgrace! It ruins everything that was so wonderful about her..."
"Damn it, 'Scream," Nightwind cried. "Of all the times not to be your usual, selfish..."
"What?" Starscream exclaimed.
"'Wind, please." I'd brought her with me, figuring on this reaction from Starscream. She wasn't helping much, though. "Listen, 'Scream. Let's look at your choices here. You can claim you killed her—killed the transformer you, er, loved—and be executed for it. Or...or you can sign this information release, stating that she malfunctioned—and malfunctions happen, it's not that bad!—and you were forced to kill her in self-defense."
"But—"
"And then—then, Starscream," I said, cutting off another protest from him, "you can work from within the Decepticons to get back at Megatron. To plot your revenge."
That got him. He began tapping one foot on the floor, thoughtfully. I had to fight to keep the smile off my face; this was too easy.
"You're right, Spade," Starscream said with a conspiratorial whisper. "That's a good idea." He stood up straight. "I'll sign it." He took the data recorder from me and imprinted his symbol with his finger, sighing slightly as he did so.
"I'm sorry, Nar," he said, barely audible even to my audio sensors.
I waved to the guard, giving him an all-clear signal. He nodded and shut off the energy field, and the three of us walked out. Nightwind threw an arm around her friend, and I gave him a quick slap on the back.
"C'mon, 'Scream, let's go find some spiked energon," Nightwind said. "I think Skywarp still has that old cube of '46 Agma. Wanna come, Spade?"
I waved congenially. "Nah, I've got a few more things to do before this case is wrapped up," I said. "You kids have fun." Primus, I thought, I watch too many Earth movies.
"Spade...thank you," Starscream said.
"Like I told you before, 'Scream...just doing my job."
----
Frankenstron was fixing up Scrapper, the leader of the Constructicons, when I walked in.
"Hey, Frankie," I said. "You about finished here?"
Scrapper sat up. "Yeah, am I all set?"
Frankenstron nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. Watch that rotator, though, especially when you unite into Devastator."
The Constructicon nodded and left the room. "What's up, Spade?" Frankenstron asked.
"What's up, indeed?" I asked.
His brow furrowed. "Wha-what? What is it?"
"So, Frankenstron...you never finished telling me about your training yesterday. How was it?"
"What do you mean? Oh, you mean about that show?"
"No, I mean training. Did you see anything...unusual while you were there?"
He made like he was searching his brain. "Um, no, not that I can think of."
"Nothing at all?"
"Well, Starscream let us leave early," he admitted.
"Really. And did you?"
"Well, yeah..."
"Immediately?"
"What do you mean?"
I grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him into the wall. "You bastard. Tell me! Did you leave immediately?"
"Yes—I—"
"Liar!"
"Fine, I stayed behind!" he cried.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I—"
I slammed him again, this time rending one of the mechanical parts protruding from his back. He cried out in pain, then stammered, "All right! I was watching them!"
"Starscream and Narwys," I said through gritted teeth.
"Yes! Yes!" he howled.
"Why?" I demanded.
"Because I loved her!" he screeched. "I loved her more than anything!"
"But she loved Starscream."
"Yes!" he screamed. Some anger coalesced in his eyes. "She loved him. I met her on the way here from Cybertron—I loved her from the very start, but she didn't—"
He didn't need to spell it out. "So you killed her. You bastard."
"I didn't mean to!" he sobbed.
There was one more piece of the puzzle. "Soundwave told you to go to the rec room last night, didn't he?"
"Y—yes," he said, bewildered. "How did you know?"
"He told you that Megatron didn't approve of the affair. And that he needed someone to take care of Starscream. He told you to kill him, and where, and that Megatron would look the other way if anything happened between you and Narwys afterward. After all, what's a medical technician compared to the second officer of the Decepticons?"
Frankenstron just sobbed quietly.
"And you fell for it, hook, line and sinker. You got to the room—but you didn't see Starscream. Instead, you saw Narwys. And, forgetting your task, you tried to talk to her. You tried to make her love you. And she refused. And you got mad...and you killed her."
"No—I—"
"Admit it, dammit!"
"Yes! Oh, Primus, yes, I shot her! She just wouldn't understand—"
"Shut the hell up," I hissed. "So you kill her, and when Starscream comes to investigate, Soundwave—or maybe even Megatron—pops out of the shadows and knocks him unconscious. He swears you to secrecy, threatening your life...Trust me, you're only here now because medical technicians are rare among the Decepticons." I'd digressed. "So when Starscream wakes up, Megatron accuses him of murder."
"Yes...it's all true..." he sobbed. "But I didn't mean to kill her..."
"Like hell," I said. "So when you examine the body for me, you're nervous and let it slip that you think she's attractive. That was your only mistake. After that, it was just a matter of checking Transponder Control. You went to Stores and got a Standard 480 automatic blaster. You were in the rec room last night at a half past one. You murdered Narwys. But since you're a medtech, you were let off the hook."
He mouth made no response, but his face was an encyclopedia.
It was time to finish it. "Listen to me very carefully, Frankie. You are scum. From here on, you are officially scum. Stamped and approved. Now here's what you're going to do. You're going to get on the next transport back to Cybertron, or I'm going to tell Starscream everything."
"No!" he cried.
"And trust me, Starscream won't get caught by Megatron this time. Do you understand? Will you leave?"
"Yes! Yes! Please don't tell him..."
"I said I wouldn't...if you leave." I let go of his shoulders, and brushed him off slightly. He sank to the floor, wracked by emotional convulsions, as I walked out.
"I'll see you around," I tossed behind me. "Or rather, I won't."
----
And that's the way it went. Frankenstron was gone on the next transport, and I never heard of him again. True to my word, I never told Starscream the truth...not that it matters. No matter how you saw it, the truth was that someone had died and others had suffered greatly for it, and in my gut, I knew that justice hadn't been done. But justice is a sacrifice I often have to make in my line of work. I try not to let it bother me.
It hardly ever does.
END