Journey to Somewhere Else
by, Leviah Raine
Sasuke sat back against the tree's massive trunk and glanced across the clearing that they had been training in all morning. His gaze fell on Kakashi who was lounging on a patch of grass beneath a tree almost directly across the clearing from him. Kakashi lazilly turned the page in Make Out Paradise, he had picked it up to read when he decided to let everyone rest and have lunch.
Laughter drew his gaze to the middle of the clearing where Naruto and Sakura sat together. She's really warming up to him. She must have finally taken the hint and given up on me.
Sasuke set down his untouched food and watched Naruto throw his head back and laugh hysterically at something Sakura said.
Sasuke could feel the taint of jealousy as Naruto exchanged smiles and laughs with Sakura. I should be the one making him laugh like that. Sasuke thought coldly, then mentally scolded himself. This is why you could never have Naruto, you're cold and dark. He doesn't want someone like you.
Saskuke looked down at his lunch and sighed bitterly as he threw it over his shoulder into the woods behind him, knowing that there was no way he was going to be able to keep down anything he ate. Jealousy had consumed his stomach and Sasuke could feel it slowly inching north.
Sasuke looked back at the two happy teenagers and felt a dark thought creeping through his mind. I should just kill her, then I can be the one to make Naruto happy. Sasuke cringed in disgust, wondering what was wrong with him. The saddest part, he knew, was that he really was selfish enough to do something like that if it would work. But it won't. I'd have to kill many more people than Sakura to be the only one left that could make Naruto happy. Anyway, killing all of the people Naruto cares about would only make him hate me. Besides, I wouldn't want to hurt Sakura, or anyone else that Naruto is close to. I would never want to hur them. But Sasuke still knew, deep down, that he was cold-hearted.
GET OVER IT! Sasuke flinched as his mind screamed at him.
'We're friends! Even if he did like me like that he'd think it too akward to actually be with me.' Sasuke mumbled sadly to himself.
'Oh, stop moping you sorry bastard,' Sasuke added bitterly with hate. And Sasuke did hate himself. More than anything. He hated how he wasn't strong enough to get over one stupid crush. More importantly he hated himself because he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop falling for the other boy. Every time he'd heal ever-so-slightly he'd catch sight of Naruto's adorable smile and his wounds would rip open, sending him plunging further into the deep dark chasm.
Maybe I should let myself fall. Hopefully at the bottom there will be something hard and sharp to greet me and end it forever. Yet Sasuke couldn't help but worry that whatever was at the bottom would leave him severly wounded, but perfectly alive enough to feel every second of it.
You coward.
"Sasuke! Come sit with us!" Sakura called out cheefully. Sasuke glanced over at the pink-haired girl and shook his head silently.
"Awww, come on Sasuke!" she yelled across the clearing.
"Yeah Sasuke-chan, come sit with us!" Naruto added with a huge grin, obviously thinking his new nickname for the dark-haired boy would bother him.
Sasuke considered staying where he was, but couldn't turn down a request from Naruto. He rose to his feet and recieved happy and teasing shouts from Naruto and Sakura.
"There ya go, you lazy bum!" Naruto laughed as Sasuke walked to the middle of the clearing and plopped down on the grass a couple of feet away from them.
Sasuke rested his head in his hand and closed his eyes, not caring to take part in the conversation. He found himself not paying much attention, instead he was slipping away into his own thoughts.
They were all dark and depressing, not that that surprised Sasuke very much. That's how it had been lately. On the few occassion that his thougths started happy and good, they always strayed, or distorted into something that would bring depression.
"-suke? Sasuke? Are you in there? Hellooooo?"
"Hm?" Sasuke asked as he looked up at Naruto.
"I've been trying to get your attention for ages. Were you asleep or something?"
"No, just thinking," Sasuke replied quietly as he looked off into the trees.
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke looked at Sakura, waiting for her to go on
"Is everything all right?" she asked, concern obvious in her voice.
"Of course," Sasuke lied, and considered giving her a small smile, but decided it would only seem suspicious.
"So nothing's wrong?"
"Mmm, noope. Nothing that I know of," Sasuke replied to the girls question. Nothing but unrequited love at it's finest. Sasuke added silently.
"Good!" Sasuke exclaimed with a happy smile, and started to tell another joke. Sasuke saw Naruto glance at him out of the corner of his eye, but the blonde didn't ask any questions.
"So, a ninja and a pirate walk into a bar..." Sakura began eagerly as Sasuke forced himself to drift off into his own thoughts once again. He didn't think he could stand listening to Naruto and Sakura laughing and flirting with eachother.
Some time later Kakashi called out to his students as he beckoned them to one end of the clearing. Naruto and Sakura reluctantly stood up and joined their teacher as Sasuke slowly followed suit.
"This next part of your training will take place on the top of the mountain, so it will require a small hike," Kakashi informed the three young ninja's, and turned his back on them as he began to lead them single-file into the forest.
Sasuke stared at his feet as they kept a steady rhythm on the path, he was the caboose of thier small train. As the trail slowly sloped upwards, Sasuke glanced through the trees that surrounded him and watched as birds fluttered from branch to branch. His gaze drifted forward until it finally landed on Naruto's back. As Sasuke watched the boy walking ahead of him he felt the sudden urge to throw his arms around Naruto's waist and hug the boy from behind as he nuzzled his face into the blonde's neck.
Sasuke caught himself just in time and let out a small sigh of relief. He could imagine what would happen if he had actually done it. Naruto would turn around and shove him off, staring at him in disgust. 'What the fuck are you doing!' Naruto would yell. Sasuke shook himself and tried to clear his mind. He knew it would end badly if he ever did anything like that. And with that thought Sasuke realized something. He stopped dead in his tracks as something became clear to him.
Naruto's never going to love me. He's never ever ever going to love me. Naruto will never love me. Never. Sasuke's stomach lurched at the sudden realization.
So what am I doing here? Why am I still here if I know he'll never love me?
"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke! Hurry up!" Sakura's voice called out, it seemed so distant.
What am I doing here? I should leave.
"Sasuke?" Now it was Naruto's voice. Sasuke felt the urge to catch up and continue following the boy on the hike, but forced himself not to move.
He's never going to love me. Why should I stay if he's never going to love me? There's nothing for me here. With that one last though Sasuke turned, walked off of the path and into the trees. The voices calling out to him faded away as he made his way deeper into the trees. He wasn't sure where he was going, all he knew is that he was going. No matter what.
As Sasuke pushed his way deeper and deeper into the forest he found himself wishing that Naruto would come after him and find him. But Sasuke knew that the blonde wasn't going to follow him into the forest, and the dark-haired ninja didn't pause in his journey to somewhere else.
((A/N: okay, well it kind of really sucks. but oh well. it wasn't really supposed to be wonderful, it was just a random plot bunnie. so yeah. however i would love it if people would REVIEW! xp))
