Disclaimer – Unfortunately, I don't own wicked.
Authors note – Just a little 'Fiyeraba' one shot; a chance meeting in the library helps Elphie and Fiyero to understand love. This is my first attempt at a wicked fan fic (although I am working on another, longer one as we speak) so please feel free to leave nice comments he he.
Finding The Right Words.
The first years at Shiz had been asked to write about love. Not the kind of love you feel for your friends or your close family members but the passionate and lasting type that only soul mates know and feel. True love. They'd been told it didn't have to be long; it could just be a simple train of thoughts, like a diary extract of feelings, if that's what was preferred. But it had to come from the heart.
Elphaba sighed as she stared at the blank sheet of paper in front of her; they might as well have been asking for a novel on love for all she cared, either way it seemed an impossible task. As she sat in the empty library, her pen poised above the paper, paralysed in mid air by her lack of inspiration, she suddenly felt very alone. Tears formed at the back of her eyes and the mocking page in front of her began to blur. Giving in to her upset, she placed her pen down on the table and rested her head in her hands, "What do I know of love?" she asked herself, in a tone that rang with self loathing, "What will I ever know?"
Fiyero rarely turned down the chance to party. In fact he'd never said no to an invite in his entire life. Not until tonight, at least. Tonight he didn't feel like celebrating, as he liked to call it. He didn't want to socialise or play the typical winkie prince; he just wanted to be himself. He walked to the library with his books tucked neatly under his arm; pondering the project he'd been given. He'd been asked to write about love; real love. As if anyone knew what that was! So far, in his life Fiyero had known admiration, respect and most prominently, especially of late, lust. But when it came to real love, the kind they wrote about in the stories his sisters used to read, he had very little idea. He gave a laugh as he pushed open the heavy library door, "What do I know about love?" He shook his head, "What will I ever know?"
Elphaba looked up when she heard the door open; her hand flying instinctively to her face to wipe away any evidence of her earlier tears. She hated people to see her weaker side; vulnerability could be used in all kinds of cruel and thoughtless ways - she should know.
When she realised it was Fiyero who was interrupting her moment of self pity, she almost froze; everything seemed to stop when he walked into a room, as though the world stood still just for a moment so that she could admire him. She quickly erased the thought from her mind, reminding herself instead that he was Glinda's boyfriend.
Fiyero smiled at Elphaba, pleased to see her; he knew he could be himself around her and not be judged for it. Plus whenever she was close by his heart always seemed to beat that little bit faster, leaving him with a feeling of excitement that he could neither explain nor understand.
"Can I...?" he gestured to the seat beside Elphaba and shuffled forwards, "I mean would you mind if..." inwardly he was kicking himself for suddenly becoming illiterate; he never usually had any problem speaking, in fact on the contrary most of the time there was little any one could do to shut him up.
"Um...No, I guess not" Elphaba replied.
In spite of her prior feelings of loneliness, she wasn't really in the mood for a conversation with anyone. But then again, Fiyero wasn't just anyone. She liked him and despite his arrogant front, found him to be rather accepting of her. He also made Glinda happy; a fact which pleased Elphaba greatly but also saddened her profusely.
He smiled and took his seat, laying his books down in such an organised manner that Elphaba found it hard not to laugh. Had she not known what he was like, this modest display would've given her the impression he was an eager student. She smiled and he noticed; how could he not? He thought she had a beautiful smile, if a little underused.
"What?"
She shook her head and looked away, "Nothing"
"You must have been grinning at something" he prodded her arm teasingly, "what is it?"
Elphaba looked up with a defeated sigh; whenever Fiyero was around her resolve always seemed to weaken much more quickly than usual, "I was smiling at you" she admitted, "You look very...organised, tonight"
"Don't I usually?" he grinned, already foreboding her answer.
"No comment" there was a pause then Elphaba gave a thoughtful look, "You know I don't even think I've seen you in the library before"
"You won't have. I hate the place" he looked around with an air of disapproval, "It's too stifling"
"Why are you here then?"
"It's quiet enough to study"
The witch raised her eyebrows teasingly, "Well it was"
Fiyero gave a chuckle but carried on anyway, "I don't know, the library's supposed to be the kind of placed where you can escape your thoughts, lose yourself in another world that some author or other has created" he stopped for a moment and shook his head, "But I always find it has the opposite effect on me; it forces me to face my thoughts" he looked Elphaba directly in the eye as if to heighten his point, "And I don't like that at all"
Elphaba smiled but she didn't reply; she was too shocked by Fiyero's seemingly deep opinion to know what to say. Since he'd started seeing Glinda, Elphaba had spoken to him on a regular basis but they usually just teased or angered each other; they'd never had a 'proper' conversation before. In fact, until that moment Elphaba had wondered if Fiyero was even capable of a proper conversation. The thought that he was, that there was more to him than had initially met the eye, pleased her, although she couldn't quite explain why.
As she returned to her blank page, Fiyero began questioning how he could possibly write convincingly about a subject he knew so little about. He fidgeted in his seat, tapping his fingers on the table as he tried to concentrate on a solution. Then he glanced over at Elphaba; maybe he could ask her? After all, Glinda was always telling him how smart she was and it seemed a shame to waste her talents. Plus, Fiyero deemed any excuse to strike up another conversation with her a good one.
He tapped her arm, slightly confused by his sudden urge for physical contact with her, "Um...Elphie? Do you think you could help me with something?"
She looked up at him, "What?"
"I was just wondering about this assignment. The one about love" he answered, "I don't really know what to put and I thought you might be able to help"
Elphaba laughed, "I don't know why you'd think that"
"Because you're clever" he replied, "And you're a girl. And girls know about these sorts of things" Elphaba raised an eyebrow and he gave a sigh, "Look I know I'm not the smartest of people so I understand if you don't want to go into it but you can always just show me what you've written. I won't steal your ideas" he grinned cheekily, "Well, not all of them"
With a roll of her eyes, Elphaba picked up the blank slip of paper in front of her and passed it to Fiyero "That's all I've written so far" she told him, "and I doubt I'll be adding to it"
"Oh" Fiyero gave a confused look and stared at the paper for a couple of seconds as though there was some hidden meaning in its emptiness, "Don't you agree with the subject then?" he asked finally.
Elphaba shrugged, "I'm neither for it nor against it really. Why?"
"I thought you might be refusing to write something to make a political statement of some kind" he admitted.
Elphaba couldn't help but smile; Fiyero's comment showed her that he was beginning to get to know her and although she had no idea why he'd want to do that, it still pleased her.
"That's a good guess" she replied, "but it's not right"
"Then why haven't you written anything?"
"Because like you, I don't know what to write. Although, I'm not sure why you're so clueless"
"What do you mean?" Fiyero asked, "How should I know about love?"
"Because you're girlfriend is the prettiest and most popular girl in Shiz" Elphaba shook her head at him, as though she felt he should know better "Surely, you can write something about your feelings for Glinda, Can't you?"
Fiyero didn't answer; instead he looked away, a sudden wave of guilt engulfing him. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why when 'love' was mentioned had Glinda never even crossed his mind? Elphaba was right about her; she was pretty and popular and he couldn't deny that he liked her but that didn't mean they were right for each other, did it? He turned back to Elphaba and found the answer to that very question.
As their eyes met, he felt his heart begin to race again and he was overwhelmed by a sudden urge to pull her close to him.
She threw him a concerned glance, wondering if she'd said something wrong. She figured she probably had; putting her foot in it was one of her most practised talents. "Are you ok?"
He nodded, unable to speak for a moment as his true feelings suddenly became obvious to him. He'd known for a while that he didn't love Glinda but he had never known why before. Not until he looked deep into the eyes of the person he really did love.
"Elphaba" Her name slipped from his tongue in little more than a whisper.
Ordinarily, she would've looked at him as though he were crazy but the part of her that dared to dream, the part she suppressed far too often, wondered if he was thinking and feeling just what she was. She wondered if his heart pounded hard against his chest when they spoke; if his whole body tingled when they were close; if he was beginning to understand what love really was in light of this strange situation.
She also wondered if there was a possibility she'd gone mad. After all, trying to convince herself that someone like Fiyero would give her a second thought and maybe even choose her over someone like Glinda was pathetic.
She shook off all her more hopeful feelings and stood up quickly, "I have to go".
Fiyero stood up too, not quite ready to let her out of his sight just yet, "wait"
She refused to look at him, choosing instead to stare at the table as she quickly scooped up her books, "what?"
"Look at me"
She ignored his request, "What do you want Fiyero?"
"Look at me" he repeated. This time he grabbed her right hand and any resolve she had weakened under his touch.
She looked up without another thought and when their eyes met again Fiyero leant forward and kissed her. It was a tender kiss, driven by passion though held back by circumstance. But it was real. True.
Elphaba was the first to pull back; not quite able to believe what was happening but feeling guilty all the same. Fiyero felt guilty too but the feeling was suppressed by a knowledge that his eyes had just been opened to a new and exciting world. He hadn't known before why Elphaba's presence made him giddy, why just being close to her caused him to trip up over every other word and feel as though his heart would never calm down again but now he did. He loved her. And whatever the situation, nothing would change that.
Fiyero might have stayed lost in his thoughts forever but when Elphaba removed her hand from his, he lost all track of them. It felt wrong to lose contact with her.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly
She didn't quite make eye contact; "This. This is wrong" She started walking towards the door but he followed close behind her.
"Elphie..." he didn't know what to say but he couldn't just let her leave, "what shall I do?" he asked out of desperation.
"Finish your work" she told him in a serious tone "write about Glinda"
With that she was gone and Fiyero knew better than to try and stop her again. Instead he sat back down at the table, their table and thought about what had just happened. He remembered how Elphaba tasted, how her kiss filled him with longing and desire. And he wished they could do it again. He could kiss her forever, he was sure of that. He only hoped that she felt the same.
Outside, Elphaba took a slow walk through Shiz's famous gardens. It was a typical winter's night but she was barely even aware of the bitterly cold air that surrounded her; she was too lost in her thoughts of Fiyero. Did he really have feelings for her? Had that kiss felt as right, and meant as much to him as it had done to her? She hoped so; even if was wrong to do so, she couldn't seem to help herself.
She clung to her bag as though it were her prince, hugging it tightly in her arms and feeling somehow comforted. Although, her confusion had forced her to walk away from Fiyero, she wished he was with her now. She gave a sigh; if anything more was to happen between them, there were bound to be problems to overcome and she knew that only too well. Then something hit her. She sat down on a nearby stone bench and pulled her notebook from her bag; there might be problems to overcome in the future but for now one had most definitely been solved and she was going to use that to her advantage. Once she'd started scribbling away she wondered how she'd found the task such a problem to begin with, for she now knew exactly what to write when it came to love.
Sometimes love is obvious; it is fearless and brave, able to show itself whenever it feels necessary. Other times, bound by circumstance, it is forced to hide away and wait for the right moment to appear. But either way, it is strong and true, and once tasted, unforgettably addictive.
