CORN IN THE CEMETERY
This story takes place in a very small community in North West Florida. This community is called Holley. Holley is located six miles north of the shores of the Gulf of Mexico and fifteen miles east of Pensacola Bay. The time is around the turn of the century. The nineteenth century to the twentieth. The names of the people involved in this story are unfortunately lost in history.
These two bums had stolen a bushel of unshucked corn. They made their way down to the cemetery. What is now known as Holley Point Cemetery. In those days there was no electricity for any kind of outdoor lighting or as far as that goes, any indoor lighting as well. At night when it was dark, it was dark. Especially when there was no moon. These two bums were illiterate and could not count pass two. This was not uncommon for a lot of people back in those days.
It was a dark night with no moon. The bums sat down on the ground by one of the red brick columns at the front gate of this cemetery to divide the bushel of corn between the two of them. Before they could get started, they heard two more people coming up on them. These other two were a young man and a young woman. They were walking along holding hands, talking and giggling.
Quickly the two bums got up and one grabbed the bushel of corn and the other said,
" Hurry up, lets hide behind that big oak tree in the middle of the grave yard."
As the one bum grabbed the bushel of corn and darted into the cemetery, he dropped two ears of corn right beside the red brick column where they had been sitting. He started to set the bushel bown and grab them when the other bum spoke again,
" Never mind those, we will get them when these people go on their way, hurry and get that bushel basket and lets hide."
The young man and woman came to the same red brick column where the bums had been sitting. Both of them sat down and started hugging and kissing. In those days an unmarried couple didn't hardly hold hands let alone kiss and make out. They would always seek off and hide where no one could see them and do it. The young woman slowly kicked off her shoes while she was engrossed in making out with the young man.
The bums hiding behind the big oak tree in the middle of the cemetery had heard things get quiet and thought the couple had gone on. So one bum began to divide up the corn,
" One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you." The young couple hearing this, stopped what they were doing and listened. When the bum that was dividing up the corn got to the last two he said to the other bum,
" I'll take these two and you can have THE TWO AT THE FRONT GATE. Hearing this, the couple in extreme fear leaped to their feet and ran off as fast as they could. The young woman was so scared that she had left her shoes behind.
THE END
This story had been told to me many times when I was growing up by my grandmother. She was born and raised at Holley Florida. This and many other stories she would share with me always brought a smile on my face no matter how bad I felt.
Alan Brittain