Yoshi Goes Hunting 2

Gonzales512

Note: No animals were harmed during the production of this story, well, maybe an ant or two…

Yoshi was driving home after a long day of work. He arrived at the Smash Mansion where Captain Falcon and Falco got in a fight.

"And I think YOU'RE just a rip-off of me," yelled Captain Falcon. "I'm Captain Falcon and you're just Falcon with the N taken out."

"Yeah, well I don't understand how someone butt-ugly came from someone I had a good time last night."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?" yelled Captain Falcon, who proceeded into punching Falco.

"CAPTAIN…"

"FLINCH!!" yelled Falco as he pulled out a chainsaw, ready to slice Captain Falcon into nothing.

"Guys, we're trying to sleep," yelled Mario. Both smashers turned around.

"Sleep?" Yoshi, who just came in, wondered. "You guys are sleeping already. It's barely 5."

"Don't you remember?" said Ike. "We're going deer hunting tonight."

"Oh yeah," said Yoshi. "But what about last year?

"That won't happen this year," said Mario, cocking his 12 gauge, which accidentally went off, going through the roof.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed Marth. "We just bought it. My poor PS3."

"Yeah," said Captain Falcon. "I can go looking for blue falcons to shoot. Hey, I think I see one right now," he said, pointing his rifle towards Falco but was punched in the face. Captain Falcon dropped his rifle, which went off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" cried Roy. "My poor 100 inch flat screen HDTV with built-in Blue-ray got destroyed."

"Ladies, calm down," said Luigi as he woke up.

"You're the one who should be talking," said Pichu, who was just waking up. "You couldn't even shoot an elephant that's sleeping."

"Look, I'm already looking forward to this," said Luigi as he pulled out his rifle, with a scope attached to it.

"Lemme see it," said Mario as he snatched it but it went off, hitting a nearby fire extinguisher.

"Uh oh, this doesn't look good," said Yoshi. "RUN!!"

They jumped, as all the fire extinguishers in the mansion exploded, causing the destruction of the Smash Mansion. They watched as the Smash Mansion collapsed and fall into ruins. The 4 story mansion was reduced to nothing.

"Master Hand's gonna kill us," Mario sighed. "If anyone asks, it was Donkey Kong."

"Looks like we need to find a new home," said Yoshi as they got in his truck. "But let's focus on the positive side. We're hunting. That should be a good thing."

"Yeah," Falco said as he raised his shot-gun, accidentally firing off and putting a hole on the roof.

"Let's just leave before you guys destroy my truck," Yoshi sighed as they pulled out of the destroyed driveway and drove onto the freeway, running over the I-80 sign.

It was about 11 PM when Yoshi was driving at 80 miles per hour, 5 more than the posted speed sign. Then, a hidden Highway Patrol car pulled onto the freeway with its lights on.

"Yoshi, I think you should pull over," said Luigi, pointing to the rear-view mirror as lights of red and blue shined on the mirror.

I've got a different idea," said Yoshi as he stomped on the brakes, causing the speeding highway patrol car to pass Yoshi, lose control, and crash into a nearby freeway sign, causing it to fall down.

Yoshi stared at the collapsed white freeway sign that read, "I-80 to Hunting Grounds – Closed"

Yoshi drove around the huge sign and proceeded into driving until two more Highway Patrol officers pulled into the freeway as they got near a confusing freeway interchange.

"Pull over dammit," yelled Ike.

But the police cars pulled over next to Yoshi's truck and pulled out their guns.

"Pull over or we'll shoot," yelled the officer in one car who had a very big nose.

"Yeah," said the other officer. "What Mr. Big nose said."

"What did you say about my nose?" said the first officer. "I'll kick your ass."

"I'd like to see that," said the other officer, as they slowed down and fired at each other, causing them to drive off the bridge, exploding in the air.

"Ouch," flinched Mario. "So how are we gonna get to the place anyways, now that the freeway is closed?"

"I know a way," said Yoshi as he pulled off the freeway. Let's take a shortcut.

After countless hours of driving over farms, mountains, and random zombies, in which the point they could've saved time by just driving on the stupid freeway, they finally arrived.

"Yay," yelled Roy. "We're here."

"Why did we even bring him," sighed Ike.

Yoshi got out his shotgun as he saw something.

"Hey I see something. Shhh!!"

Yoshi saw a large deer walking around. He took aim, and had his finger on the trigger and was gonna pull the trigger when –"

"Holy crap, that bear's taking a dump," yelled Roy. And with that, the deer turned around, following a missed shot and the deer ran away.

"Dammit Roy," yelled Yoshi. I almost had that.

Then a bear comes out of nowhere and attacks Roy, causing him to lose his virginity.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HELP ME!" cried Roy, as the bear kept attacking him. "HELP ME JESUS!"

Then Yoshi pulled out his rifle and aimed at the bear. They kept fighting until they rolled down a hill, crashing into a tree, causing the bear to let go of Roy, who ran away. But then the bear chased Roy until they reached a cabin and ran inside.

Meanwhile, Pichu was at a 7-Eleven, which was conveniently located nearby, buying a slurpee when he heard shots nearby. Quickly paying the cashier, he rushed out to see that Roy was up in a tree while the bear broke out of a nearby cabin.

"I don't wanna die," yelled Roy as the bear came out with a propane grill.

This doesn't look good," thought Pichu. Better warn the others.

Meanwhile, back in the campgrounds, Mario was cleaning up his rifle, Yoshi was cooking pancakes, and Ike was reading a book. Luigi was aiming and had a perfect shot at a huge buck until –"

"Grenade," yelled someone out of nowhere.

"WTF?" said Luigi as he turned around as the grenade exploded, causing the huge buck to explode into pieces.

"Man, I had that," sighed Luigi as he turned around and saw Master Chief who threw the grenade.

"DIE," yelled Luigi as he fired three shots in the head, killing Master Chief.

Then Pichu came in an urgent hurry with a letter in his mouth. He hurried around Yoshi's truck and handed the letter to Mario. Mario opened up the letter and read outloud.

Dear Smashers,

Right now, I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE. SOMEONE SAVE ME OR I'LL KICK YOU IN THE BALLS IN HELL. YOU STUPID FAT PLUMBER. YOU DIDN'T LET ME HUNT. I WANTED THAT DEER BUT ENDED UP WITH A BEAR. I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!

From, Roy

"Um… okay," said Mario. "Roy's in trouble and he needs our help."

"Let's go," said Ike, as they hopped in the back of Yoshi's truck and drove to the 7-Eleven Pichu was at when it happened. Right now, Roy was tied to a metal bar over a propane grill, which was lit. The bear was adding seasoning, pepper, and soy sauce on Roy.

"LET ME GO," yelled Roy.

Then a deer came. The bear turned around and stared coldly at the deer. The deer stared coldly at the bear. Then they got in a fight. The deer kicked the bear in the face, while the bear hurled the deer over his head.

"Let's get the hell out of here while they're distracted," said Yoshi as he untied the ropes attached to Roy. Roy fell down and landed on the grill.

"OWWW!! IT BUUUUUURRRRNNNSSSSS!!" yelled Roy as he hopped off the grill with its clothes on fire.

"Quick. Stop, drop, and roll," said Luigi.

But Roy ran into the 7-Eleven and jumped into the Slurpee machine.

"Okay, that'll be 24.83. Thank you. Come again," said the owner of the 7-Eleven as they walked out with Roy covered with Slurpee.

Jackass, thought Mario, who paid.

"So, who got anything today," said Yoshi.

"I did. I got Master Chief," said Luigi happily.

"Um… interesting. I'm sure Halo fans are gonna kill you," Yoshi realized.

Then a random Halo fan came running with a gun and started shooting at Luigi.

"Quickly," said Mario. "Let's get out of here."

Yoshi stomped on the gas pedal and drove away from the thousands of Halo fans who got mad at Luigi. Then they got back on the freeway and headed back home but forgot it was destroyed.

A/N: This is what happens when you've got someone with zero ideas who wants to write a story. I'm still working on my halloween fic, and hopefully it's better than this. Thanks for reading and review.

The End