A/N: So instead of updating my other story, I decided to write a new one. Lol…this one will make more sense and follow along a better plot hopefully, yet still being silly. It's funny; the idea came from an article on a gossip website about Rob Pattinson being in Pirates 4, and the article ended with the statement of dirty pirate babies. My imagination went insane, enough rambling, and here's my story!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, which is why I am broke. But if I owned Spunk, oh the fun I would have.

The water gently lapped the sides of the ship as she cut her way through the Caribbean. She had just departed Tortuga, and was heading in a southern direction towards Shipwreck Cove. The wind began to gently blow, and the various items in the captain's hair jingled.

Jack Sparrow was at the wheel of his beloved Pearl, as usual. But unlike usual, he was not in his typical euphoric mood. He hated going to Shipwreck Cove. Nothing good ever came out of a visit to this destination. First, there was Captain Teague, Jacks father who always found something wrong with Jack. Second, there were all the other pirates that lived there that he owed a large sum of money to. And third, there was Camille. Camille and Jack's meetings never faired well, usually beginning with a slap in the face and ending with a slap in the face, both received by Jack. Though, no matter how bad the visits always were, Jack knew not to disobey his father. He still had reoccurring nightmares about last time he did disobey. That is until he started snuggling with an overstuffed teddy bear named Dominic. He doesn't like other's to know about Dominic.

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One week was all Jack managed to delay his arrival. He took his sweet time sailing through the seas, but could only delay the inevitable for one week. Jack sighed as he donned his tricorn hat and sauntered off the ship towards his dad's house, or ship we should say. But before he could arrive at his father's, he ran into Gentleman Jocard.

"Sparrow," sneered Jocard, "you owe me money. I believe twenty shillings will suffice?"

Jack took a few paces back and raised his hands in defense, "I believe, my dear friend, you are mistaken."

"How am I mistaken?" spat Jocard.

"You are mistaken in the thought that you think that I owe you money but in reality you are suppressing the thought that you should think that you thought to ask yours truly for money. So the current thought you are thinking is the wrong thought to be thinking and you should be thinking of the thought I just shared with ye, savvy?"

Jocard was thrown into such a state of confusion giving Jack time to tip his hat and escape.

Jack continued his trip down the passageway looking for his father's door, if you could call it a door. Finally, he arrived and rapped ever so lightly on the door, which slowly squeaked open to reveal Teague. It was amazing at how similar these two pirates were, from their messy dreadlocks with various trinkets braided in, to the beard, to the multiple rings worn by each.

"Jackie!" exclaimed Teague, "It's good to see you, boy! Come in!"

Jack sauntered into the house looking around before sarcastically commenting, "Ye sure have done a lot with the place."

"Aye, I have. But that's not why I asked ye here."

"Right, well, how's mum?" With this Teague held up a shrunken, decaying head, to which Jack looked at revoltingly. "She's…lovely."

"Your mother is not why I asked ye here, boy. I have something to tell you. A big something to tell you."

"Aye?"

"Ye have a brother who wants to become a pirate, a proper pirate. I figure he should learn from the best."

"A brother? How come I have never heard of a brother? And what's his name?"

"I've never told ye about him because he's, well, he's different."

"Different how? And ye neglected to tell me his name."

"You'll have to see for yourself how he's different. As for his name, or what he likes to go by, is Spunk."

"Spunk!?! What kind of name is that?"

"Yes, Spunk Ransom. He uses the name because he hates his real name."

"His real name being?"

"His real name is Anthony Masen." At hearing this, Jack couldn't help himself. He started laughing harder than he had ever laughed before.

"Anthony Masen? The fearsome pirate Anthony Masen! Watch your back, or Anthony will get you!" shouted Jack as tears began to streak down his face.

"Jackie, he's your brother, be kind. And he likes to go by Spunk for that reason. Anyways, here he comes."

"Hello, Father," called a young boy, with messy bronze hair and sparkling green eyes, "how are you today?"

"I'm just fine, boy. I have someone I'd like you to meet," Teague motioned toward Jack, "Spunk, this is Jack Sparrow. Jackie, this is Spunk Ransom."

"You mean Jack Sparrow, the most fearsome pirate on the six seas?"

"Seven. The seven seas," Jack corrected, "And yes. I'm the one you're referring to."

"And you're willing to teach me how to become a fearsome pirate? Like yourself?"

"If ye tell me what is different about you."

"It' more of a 'you have to see for yourself' kind of thing, but if that's all you want, I'll be more than happy."

Jack started towards the door, "Fine, Spunk, ye may sail with me," he continued as he opened the door.

"Oh, this is so exciting! When do we leave?"

Jack was already out the door before he caught a glimpse of Camille. "We leave now!" He shouted as he grabbed Spunk's hand and bolted out the door, but it was too late.

"Jack Sparrow," squawked Camille.

Jack grudgingly turned to answer, "Hello, Camille."

"I had a dear friend stop by the other day; we never thought we had much in common before. It turns out we were wrong."

"How were you wrong Camille?" Jack knew he was digging himself into a deep hole with no way to get out, yet he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Perhaps you can figure it out for yourself. You see, her name is Giselle."

Uh-oh. Jack knew what was coming. Giselle was one of his two…ladies of interest…in Tortuga. Or former ladies of interest, as he now had only one single lady of interest anymore.

Camille continued, "Jack, do you know what we have in common? It seems we have you in common." After her short speech, Camille raised her had and slapped Jack across the face, to which Spunk couldn't help his fit of giggles that came along with it. Jack turned his gaze upon Spunk, glaring, when he heard another hearty laugh behind him.

"Sure have a way with the ladies, don't you Jackie?"

Jack glared at both his father and his apparent new brother, before turning sharply on his heel and sauntering off, heading towards his ship. He didn't need this, to constantly have jokes made at his expense.

"Wait for me!" Spunk called out as he followed his brother to the Pearl.

If only Spunk knew what he was about to get himself into, then perhaps he would have never gone.

A/N: Now go review, please! I'd love you forever!