Okay, Well lets see George Lucas, Fox, etc own Star Wars and all of them thar characters.

Tolkien's estate, Peter Jackson, New line Cinema, etc own all those other Charaters from LOTR.

That leaves me with nothing but a stupid plot. Obvioulsy I'm not making any money nor do I wish to off of this.

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To begin with, Yoda was old; old as the hills, older than that container of stew that had been sitting in his fridge for years. Old he was. Yoda was so old his social security number wasn't one. He was so old he didn't have a social security number. No-one ever thought he would make much longer when they started to pass out those offending numbers.

Sighing backwards, Yoda hobbled around in his little hut. (When nine-hundred years you reach, talk as bad you will not.) Yoda was dieing. He knew it. As soon as that blasted Skywalker made it back he was going to croak. That meant he was going to have to do his Jedi duty and meditate on his life.

Two days later, Yoda hade made it to his sprightly youth at age five-hundred. Another four days, and he was at one-hundred. Then, he stopped. His meditation would go no further. There was a block there.

Being a great Jedi Master Yoda did the only thing that he could. He threw a temper tantrum. Pots flew around, curses were mumbled backwards, he blatantly struck his head against the wall. Then his eyes landed on a small object on the floor. "Hmmmm." He uttered as he crept towards it.

There lay a shiny gold ring. He sensed a great power within it. It was a great, evil power, so he picked it up. Absently he stroked the golden band. He watched fascinated as the light played off of the utterly plain surface.

"Mmmh, Precious my. Missed you we have. Prrrrrecioussss. Hmmmmm."

Yoda struggled as he pushed the ring onto his finger. Soon, all the forest creatures saw things flying around at random as the invisible Yoda jumped up and down and all around.

"Yessss, Yesssss, remember we do. Nasssssty Baggins. Taught him we did, didn't we Precious? Taught them all."

Yoda smiled as he remembered his wretched life. "Hmmm, we be the Master now."

A strange cackling sound was heard through the swamp before the sounds of an x-wing fighter began to ricochet amongst the trees.

"What? Noooo, itssss the Skywalker. Come to take the precious he has. Hide it we must. But how? We know? Don't we Precious?"

Quickly, Yoda/Golum hopped to his hut and pulled Precious off of his finger.

"Master Yoda?" Luke's voice was questioning as he entered the small hut.

*Cough, Cough HACK* "Dieing We are. State your busssinesss and be gone."

"Master Yoda, you can't die."

"Busssiness it is of yours not! We be the Master now."

"Ummm, right. Master, Is Darth Vader my Father?"

"Yesss, yesss, your father he is. Defeat him you must."

"Master Yoda, I can't kill my own father."

"NO!, you must or take the Prreciouss he will."

"What?"

"We mean, you are the last hope. Luke, there is another."

"Another what."

"Sky..wal..kerr." Yoda smiled as he shoved the ring back on his finger and disappeared.

Luke looked forlorn and left.

"Gotss rid of the Skywalker we did, didn't we Prrecious? Hmmm, yesss, We be the Master now."