Inspired by the intro to The Brothers Bloom. Same rhythm and flow, and a few of the lines are the same.
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The Ballad of Los Robles Avenue
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As far as geek boy stories go,
I think I've heard them all.
Of gamers, trekkers, comic-conners,
Of nerds both short and tall.
But if one bears a bookmark
In the Dungeon Master's tome,
It would be that of Penelope,
And of her boys back home.
Hofstadter and Cooper,
The myopic and the freak,
Missed none of their past neighbors,
Though the cop dressed very chiq.
Outside of their genius they had naught of which to boast,
But Leonard had Sheldon,
And Sheldon had Leonard,
And for nerds, that's more than most.
Then mischief moved next door one day,
Her clothing very short.
Her door left open carelessly,
As boxes she did sort.
Leonard, Cupid's arrow did strike.
But Sheldon shook his head.
His argument was short and sweet,
This cat was surely dead.
Leonard-
Our babies will be beautiful.
Our babies will be smart.
Sheldon-
And doomed to be imaginary,
This tidbit I'll impart.
Would Leonard simply ask her out?
Just face his fears and go?
Leave his roommate home to sulk,
and join the hot girl?
No.
Penny moved from man to man
While Leonard watched and sighed.
Sheldon bitched and moaned
But sometimes asked her for a ride.
But time did pass and friendships formed,
Even Sheldon came to care.
The queen bee tamed the awkward drones,
All socially impaired.
They learned to look her in the eyes.
They taught her Han shot first,
But never would believe her claim
That plaid suits were the worst.
Until...
For just one moment, Leonard slipped
And grabbed for love too fast.
He'd win the girl and seize the glory,
But (epic fail) that passed.
A bitter ending?
Maybe.
But there's sweetness in the mix.
For in the root of Raj's psyche,
Something new began.
A seed of grand epiphany,
A hook... A tale...
A plan.
Both for his and Howard's peace.
They'd probe for Sheldon's heart.
A membership on Match Dot Com,
Yes, that was where they'd start.
So Howard played his role
in Raj's story to a 'T'.
And being who he wasn't,
could pose as Sheldon would be.
Things quite nearly fell apart
When the match said they should meet.
Sheldon dug his heels in
And Raj was forced to cheat.
Sheldon complied for fear of socks,
But snorted in derision.
The algorithms were ludicrous.
A mate he could never envision.
However...
A four-eyed, sharp-tongued scientist
With a mind like a steel trap
Asked for tepid water and
Declined the classic frappe.
She wrapped his platonic affections
'Round her lovely mental finger,
And when he tried to part from her,
Her presence seemed to linger.
His path now unpredictable,
Afloat without a rudder,
His so-called friends would egg them on
Then take a pause and shudder.
'Til entering the movie house,
Though still not feeling ready,
He crossed a bridge he'd never known
And asked her to go steady.
And then, as if a curtain
Had been pulled back from the sky,
Leonard knew if Sheldon could,
Then damn it, so can I!
Their road has still been bumpy.
Leonard's timing… total crap.
But circle close or circle far,
In love's net they were trapped.
So how will Sheldon reconcile
Baser drives with mind?
Will Penny add a 'one true love'
To the fame she hopes to find?
Free of gifs or fancy words,
The question's simply this:
Is love worth it?
In truth, these friends won't say for years exactly how they felt.
But Leonard has Sheldon,
And Sheldon has Leonard,
And they'll play with the hand they've been dealt.