During school Remus had been quite sure something was wrong with him. Of course, he would never had dated in the first place, in fear of putting his significant other in danger and/or her finding out about his problem and hating him or telling the whole school. Neither of those things were desirable. No, it wasn't his lack of dates that bothered him, but his lack of attraction. In his six years at Hogwarts he had never been attracted, neither sexually nor romantically, to any girl he'd ever met. In fact, he was quite sure it was a bit odd for a boy his age to feel this way. Spending a tremendous amount of time in the library studying whether or not being a werewolf affected your sex drive was getting a bit awkward, especially when those sorts of things were located in books such as Magical Beasts and Their Sexual Habits and he genuinely felt that he could not be caught reading something like that. Especially by James or Sirius.
So, naturally, it was Sirius who caught him reading it. Sirius, a boy who had never had any sort of problem figuring out his sex drive. Remus had never been so angry at him.
"Gee, moony, never thought you'd be interested in that sort of thing." Said a drawling voice beside him. Remus attempted to jump up, hit his head on a shelf, dropped his book with a thud and sagged against the wall with a sort of breathy air around him. Sirius raised a brow. "You- scared- me." Remus wheezed, clutching his chest.
"You're being melodramatic. Do you want me to repeat the story my mum gave Regulus this summer about sexual attractions?" Sirius replied with a smirk, he face too close to Remus' for comfort. "No." Remus snarled, picking his book back up and shoving it on a shelf. He walked out of the library with an amused Sirius by his side. At least he was staying quiet. Remus was sure that his face was the color of a tomato, by the warmth of his face he was definitely flushed. When Remus turned down a corner he was knocked into an open classroom. While he regained his balance, Sirius shut the door. Remus glared. "What on earth-" He started, but Sirius shushed him. "I won't tell James." Sirius said, "However, I do think I know why you were reading that." he continued. Remus could feel his face getting warmer. "Oh yeah, and why's that?" He said defiantly, as though daring Sirius to be wrong. "Because you're worried that being a werewolf could be affecting your.. you know... attraction to people?" Sirius stopped for a minute, running his fingers through his hair. "Oh, damn. Can't think of the word?"
"Sex drive?" Remus offered, though not kindly. "Right, yes. That was it, alright?!"
"Well I just thought I'd help is all." Said Sirius, advancing on Remus slowly.
Remus wasn't sure what to make of this. He was closing in at an alarming rate, and the door was behind him. Of course, Sirius was his best friend, and what would he do to him? He had became a dog to help Remus, somehow he just couldn't see Sirius hurting him.
Remus was now against the wall, and Sirius was uncomfortably close. What happened next wasn't exactly what Remus had expected. Sirius was gentle, he wrapped his arm around Remus' waist and it was an awkward moment until he pressed his lips unexpectedly hard against Remus'.
This was the moment that Remus realized that being a werewolf did not affect his sex drive, because surely if his sex drive was affected it he couldn'tt be feeling like this. Before he even realized what he was doing, Remus was kissing back, pressing himself closer to Sirius in a matter that he surely would not have done if he wasn't aroused.
He was really, really hoping Sirius would never stop, that this moment would just continue on forever. He had never done this before. This was his first kiss, his first body to be sexually attracted to. This was his first time in a lot of things. He wondered if Sirius would notice this.
They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Remus was passionate, Sirius was slow and deliberate, and even though they hardly moved except to adjust themselves, Remus thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Then, the moment that Remus was dreading, Sirius pulled back, and they would have to face what they had just done.
Neither of them said anything, and Remus refused to look at Sirius.
"Nothing wrong with your sex drive then, is there?" Said Sirius with a triumph smirk. "And it gave me the chance to try out something I've been wanting to do for a while." At this, Remus looked up angrily. "I-I am not- I am not an- an experiment!" He replied scathingly, glaring at Sirius. This had gone to best feeling in his life to the worst, and he couldn't believe the tremendous hurt he felt on those words. He hadn't asked for this had he? He hadn't thought that Sirius had kissed him because he actually liked him!
But.. maybe.. maybe he had, just a little. Maybe he had thought Sirius had genuinely wanted to kiss him, not just try something new out.
Sirius now looked horrified. "No! No, not like that! That's not what I meant!" He exclaimed. Remus still did not look at him. There was the shuffle of movement and Sirius was pressed against him again. "No, I meant that I'd been wanting to kiss you for a while, silly." Remus blushed bright red and focused squarely on Sirius' nose. "Oh.."
The next few weeks were definitely the best of Remus' his entire life. They were certainly not open about their relationship, the idea of it frightened Remus beyond all thought, and Sirius had understood and promised not to tell James any of it. However, it didn't it the enjoyment out go it. Going into empty classrooms were now a part of Remus' every day schedule, and after hours walks, though highly dangerous, happened three times a week. Sneaking out to Hogsmeade on the weekends were also becoming a ritual and Remus couldn't believe it all started because he was worried about his sex drive.
Of course Sirius couldn't let him forget this, mentioning it about every time they were alone together.
"Can't believe this all happened because you were worried about your sex drive!" Sirius said happily from above him. Remus was laying in Sirius' lap in the empty common room. He chose to ignore Sirius and stand up, giving a long stretch that he was sure Sirius was was drinking in. Sure enough, when he turned to look at Sirius, he was staring at Remus with a sort of hungry look that was reserved for very heated make out sessions in the empty dorm. "Right, I'm off to bed." Said Remus. "Love you."
It was like his whole world froze. The two words had slipped, fucking tumbled out of his mouth without him even thinking about it, without meaning to say anything else. Sirius was staring at him. The heat in his gaze long forgotten. Remus had closed his eyes tight and was refusing to open them. That is, until Sirius touched his face. His eyes flew open and he stared at Sirius in a sort of petrified state. Sirius kissed him gently, "Love you, too." He muttered against his lips, then turned and went to their dorm, leaving Remus standing alone in the common room, ridiculously happy, still not able to move, and still red in the face.