A/N: YAY HOLIDAYS!! XD Yes, it's that time of the year again, where everyone writes and posts odd little Christmas stories just for the heck of it. And so, here is my little contribution. I found this buried in my documents, so if it looks familiar, that's because it's from last year. XD I just edited it, made it sound a little less amateur-ish. Enjoy! And have a happy Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/slash whatever your holiday happens to be!
Disclaimer: I… I-I don't own… A-Avatar. There, I said it! -breaks into sobs-
Sokka: -patting my back- There, there, it's okay.
Me: -sniffle- Really?
Sokka: Pfft, no! You're such a loser!
Me: -more sobs-
Sokka: -feeling guilty- Oh, geez! Er… I'm sorry? I'm sorry!
Me: No, you're not! Now I'm not your friend anymore!
Sokka: WHAT?! -also breaks into sobs-
Toph: -randomly walking past- Freaks.
Christmas with the Cast
It was a normal day with the Avatar and his friends. You know, despite the fact that it was Christmas and they were having a HUGE Christmas party. But otherwise, pretty normal.
Now, at this party were a few people who you probably recognize, and if you don't, I have no idea why you're reading this story in the first place. There was Katara sitting with Aang on the sofa, just talking as they normally did, all the while Aang looking at her with eyes full of love.
There was Toph, trying to feel what was inside her presents with her earthbending. But she could never tell which ones were hers, so she just claimed the ones that she thought were the coolest.
Zuko was sitting on the other sofa, sulking as usual, next to Mai who was also sulking. Shocking.
Azula was trying to figure out the best way to set the Christmas tree on fire so that it fell at a just perfect angle right on top of the Avatar… or his little crush, whichever one worked.
Unfortunately for Sokka, he was in the middle of Suki, Yue, and Ty Lee who all happened to believe that he belonged to them. So, as you could imagine, there was much fighting and scratching and other girl fight type things.
Iroh was in the kitchen attempting to make some "coffee", whatever that was, for Ozai who had demanded it immediately. He had long ago finished up a delicious cup of Jasmine tea for himself, and was trying to finish the "coffee" so he could make another pot of yummy tea.
Ozai was currently trying to help Azula in the setting fire to the tree.
Jet and his gang were watching the kung fu match on TV, and very often getting into one themselves. Every so often, Jet would attempt to sit next to Katara, but he kept getting the cold shoulder… and very, very wet.
This year, for the holidays, they had all decided to have a Secret Santa type thing, and everyone had bought the person that they were assigned a gift.
"Hey!" said Sokka over the feuding females. "Maybe we should do the whole 'Secret Santa' thing… NOW… PLEASE!!"
"Sure, sounds good," said Katara. "What do you think Aang?"
"Uh," Aang said, blushing, "yeah, let's start."
And so, everyone gathered around the Christmas tree, though the sulkers and the plotters and the game watchers and the present-peepers very reluctantly, to open the gifts.
"This one's for… Toph," said Iroh, who was the present passer-outer.
"Sweet! A new rock!" she yelled, without opening it, not knowing that the present was from Katara.
"Hey, that is SO unfair!" exclaimed the Duke.
"Pfft, whatever, I got a rock, that's all that matters."
"This one's for… Sokka."
Sokka ripped open the perfectly wrapped present to find –
"A rubber band?" he asked. "Who the heck got me a rubber band?"
"Well," said Azula, "I did a bit of research and I figured out that rubber can't produce electricity. So I figured you would need it." A bit of lightning was produced in her hands and Sokka gulped.
"Alright, this one's for… Katara."
Katara opened the colorful present to find –
"A picture of… Jet?"
"I just knew you'd love it!"
"Go jump off the Great Divide."
"Only if you come with me."
Aang glowered in silence next to his love.
"This one is for… Jet."
Jet ripped open the present as fast as time would allow him to find –
"A note?"
Jet read the note aloud. "Dear Jet the Moron. Stay away from my sister. Or I'll kill you. Or maybe you'll wake up very in pain and very confused on Whale Tail Island with a missing kidney and the ability to only see out of one eye. And nobody will be able to prove anything. I'm watching you. Always. Aallllllwwwaaayyyyysss. Signed, a Mystery."
"I figured the best gift would be advice," said Sokka, smugly.
"The next is for… Zuko," said Iroh.
"A… a My Little Pony action figure?"
"Don't you mean doll?"
"This is… this is JUST what I asked for!! Thanks whoever-gave-me-this!"
Toph was in shock. "Crap. I wanted you to hate it!"
"Okay, this one is for… Mai."
"…Happy pills?"
"I figured you needed them," said Ty Lee.
Hmm, let's skip the next presents that are quite boring, and go to another interesting part of the party.
"I WANT TURKEY!"
"I WANT HAM!"
"NO, TURKEY!"
"NO, HAM!"
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
The fight between Azula and Zuko went on like this for quite some time, and eventually, Iroh cracked.
"SHUT UP!!! You two are constantly fighting and I just can't take it anymore! What is WRONG with you two? My GOSH! For all I care we can have half a turkey, half a ham, and call it turkam! I JUST DON'T CARE!"
There was an awkward silence.
"That could work," said Zuko.
"Possibly," replied Azula. So Ozai, of all people, was forced to figure out how to create turkam, much less cook it. Everyone else, on the other hand, was dancing to the music.
"ZUKOOOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Sokka. Everyone stopped jigging and stared at Sokka. "I challenge thee to a dance off…eth!"
"I shall accept thy challenge," said Zuko," if we can stop talking like something straight out of Robin Hood."
"What's Robin Hood?" asked Toph.
"…it's…um…anyways!"
And so, the dance off began. Sokka did a very nice worm, but Zuko made a nice comeback with his own version of the Soulja Boy dance. Sokka tried a chicken dance type thing, and Zuko replied with the electric slide. And, for some strange reason, they ended the dance off with the Macarena. Both earned much applause, but the winner was…
"Zuko!"
"Aw, man…" said Sokka.
Meanwhile, while the dance was going on, Katara and Aang were sitting on the loveseat in the far corner of the room.
"Katara," said Aang, "I know I wasn't chosen to get you a gift, but I did anyway."
"Oh Aang, you didn't have to do that."
"Well…" Aang handed her a small box. Katara opened it to reveal a bracelet with the same design as her necklace.
"Oh, Aang, it's beautiful!" Katara exclaimed. "I love it!"
"Err, you're welcome," said Aang, once again going crimson.
"Hey Aang, look up."
Aang glanced at the ceiling above and spotted mistletoe just above them. His crimson cheeks turned a brighter shade, if possible. And suddenly, he found Katara's lips against his. And he wasn't about to end the kiss soon.
While Aang and Katara were busy with their make out session, Azula and Ozai once again tried to plot.
"Ooh, I know!" said Ozai. "We lock the Avatar and the Water Tribe girl in the closet together!"
"And just HOW will that destroy the Avatar?"
"Oh. I see your point. I guess I've read a little too much Kataang fanfiction."
"What? What the heck is fanfiction? What's Kataang?"
"…I…don't…know…"
"Mm hmm. How about we go back to figuring out how to squish him and/or that water chick with the Christmas tree?"
"Yeah. Yeah, let's go with that."
"HEY EVERYONE!" yelled, you guessed it, Sokka. "I'M GONNA PLAY SOME CHRISTMAS SONGS ON THE PIANO!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Everyone yelled out at once… minus Aang and Katara who were still swapping spit.
"What? What's wrong with my playing?" Sokka asked, outraged.
"You SUCK, that's what's wrong!" yelled Azula.
"OOH! OOH!" said Iroh, jumping up and down. "Christmas karaoke! Christmas karaoke!"
"OOH, I do enjoy that," said Ozai.
"If it makes you THAT happy, Iroh," said Toph, reluctantly.
"Whatever," sighed Mai.
"ME FIRST! ME FIRST!" yelled Iroh.
"Okay, Uncle, just go before you wet yourself from excitement," said Zuko.
And so, Iroh did a very nice version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and bowed to his applauding audience.
"My turn!" said Ozai.
"Does craziness run in their family?" whispered Toph to Sokka.
"I don't doubt it," he whispered back.
Ozai did a very creepy and frightening version of "Santa Baby" which led to Zuko, Sokka, Toph, Azula, Suki, Yue, Jet, and his gang to run to the bathroom to throw up and/or attempt suicide. Fortunately, none of the suicide attempts succeeded.
"Hey, where's Katara?" asked Toph. "She sings pretty well, she should do it."
"Hey, did you know that Aang likes her?" Sokka asked everyone.
"NO DUH!" yelled everyone.
"We've known that since forever!" said Ty Lee.
"What?! I only just figured this out!" exclaimed Sokka. "How long has he liked her?"
"Since you guys met him," said Zuko, who had been there since the beginning.
"Hmph," said Sokka, "is there anything ELSE I should know about?"
"Katara likes him, too," said Toph.
"NO WAY!" yelled everyone, because no one knew of this.
"Yup! She told me!"
"Wow…" said Sokka. "Anything else?"
"Well, there is one other thing…" said Toph.
"What is it? What is it? What is it?" asked Ty Lee, enthusiastically.
"They're making out on the loveseat in the corner over there."
"WHAT?!" Everyone's head snapped around to look at the two lovebirds practically chewing each other's face off.
"If you ask me," said Toph, "it's about time."
"I agree with the small, blind girl," said Azula.
"Well, if you ask me," said Sokka, "they need to STOP!"
Sokka stormed over to the sofa. "HEY YOU!" he cried. They didn't move.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, AANG!" he yelled, right in Aang's ear. They didn't stop.
"KATARA, GO TO YOUR ROOM!" They didn't stop kissing. They didn't even seem to notice him!
"ARGH! This is infuriating!" screamed Sokka.
"Oh, just leave them be," said Zuko. "I always wondered when the bald kid would make his move anyway."
"Seriously," agreed Toph. "He can be such a wimp."
"Love is like tea," said Iroh. "Very, very good."
"You know, I think that might just be your best proverb yet," said Ozai in all seriousness.
After awhile, they all decided to stop the karaoke and go back to what they were doing in the first place. Except for Aang and Katara, who were STILL making out on the sofa.
Regular activity included Azula and Ozai measuring the tree to see where it would fall.
"You see, if we hit it here, then – "
"Hey, you two!" said Sokka.
"AAH!" screamed Azula, taken by surprise.
"We weren't trying to squish the Avatar with a decorative and festive tree, honest!" defended Ozai.
"You just don't get it, do you?" asked Azula.
"Relax," said Sokka, "I want to help."
"WHY?!"
"Anything to get Aang and Katara to stop snogging."
"Snogging?"
"British slang."
"What's British?"
"Who knows."
"Right."
"Let's just get on with it!"
With some slight help from Sokka, they were able to figure out JUST where to hit the tree.
"Alright, this is it," said Sokka. "One… two… THREE!"
Ozai and Azula blasted the Christmas tree at the exact some moment in the exact same spot. The tree was plummeting to the ground ablaze, straight for Katara and Aang.
And yet, they didn't move.
"AANG! KATARA!" yelled Sokka. "MOVE YOU IDIOTS! THERE'S A FIERY FESTIVE TREE OF DEATH HEADED STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOU! MOVE!"
They didn't move. They didn't even stop kissing.
"Do they BREATHE?!" asked Azula.
"It's going to hit them!" said Ty Lee.
"I'll save you, my pet!" exclaimed Jet, but was held back by Pipsqueak.
"What are we going to do?" asked Zuko and Mai at the same time, although Mai said it in a monotone.
"Love is like tea," said Iroh.
"Man, this tree sure does take a long time to fall," said Toph.
The tree was falling, falling…
And it hit the ground right in front of the couch Aang and Katara were sitting on. The Avatar and the waterbender didn't even flinch.
"I CANNOT believe this!" said Sokka and Azula at the same time.
"It didn't even hit and/or squish them! They didn't even catch fire!" said Azula.
"They didn't even stop for a second!" said Sokka. "What the heck is WRONG with them?!"
"Hey you guys, dinner's ready!" said Ozai, cheerfully, who had left the excitement some time ago to check up on the meal. "We're having turkam!"
Suddenly, Aang and Katara pulled apart. "Food?" asked Aang.
"Great, I'm starved!" said Katara.
They both rose from the couch, holding hands, and skipped off into the kitchen together, completely unaware of the odd looks they were getting and the burning Christmas tree at their feet, slowly setting the house aflame.
Sokka sighed. "It's been a long day. And that was so much harder than it should have been."
"Well, are you coming to eat or not?" asked Ozai.
"Shouldn't we, I don't know, put out the tree or something?" asked Mai.
"Nah, we can do it later."
"Cool."
Together, everyone ate the turkam and practically busted their belts. In Sokka and Iroh's case, they DID bust their belts. But hopefully that doesn't surprise anyone. What SHOULD surprise you is that Ty Lee also busted her belt. Who knew she even HAD a belt?
Anyway, Christmas, all in all, was a very eventful one, full of many exciting moments. Especially when they had to evacuate the house due to the fire caused by the Christmas tree. So, everyone ended up having to stay outside and freeze because of the lack of house and coats.
Oh, you want to hear what happened AFTER the fire? Sure, I got nothing better to do.
"I'M COLD!" Sokka screamed.
"ME TOO!" yelled Zuko.
"WHY ARE WE YELLING?" asked Jet.
"I DON'T KNOW!" said Toph. "But let's stop."
"Yay," said Mai, very unenthusiastically.
"Where are Katara and Aang?" asked Ty Lee.
"I don't – oh, they're over there, eating each other's faces again," said Azula.
"Well, I know how to stop this," said Sokka. He scooped up some snow from the ground, patted it into a ball shape and threw it straight at Aang's bald head.
They didn't stop kissing.
"AARGH!!!" yelled Sokka. "What the heck is WRONG with them?"
"Hmm, I wonder if Aang's head gets cold…"
"WHAT?!"
"Well, you know, it's something to think about. I mean, it's bald and everyone else here has hair. Do you think bald heads get cold?"
"Maybe they get HEAD COLDS!" Zuko said, then burst out laughing.
Nobody else laughed.
"Hm, tough crowd."
"So… what now?" asked Iroh.
"OOH!" said Ozai. "Can we try killing the Avatar again?"
"I'm in!" said Azula.
"Too bad I'm good now…" sighed Zuko.
"How about we end the story?"
And so, the character's Christmas day ended there. After Christmas, Aang and Katara continued kissing and only stopped to eat, pee, and sleep. Even when they were apart, they were making out in their imaginations.
Toph beat the crap out of Sokka… many, many times.
Suki, Yue, and Ty Lee continued their fight elsewhere, trying to decide the best way to claw each other's eyes out.
Iroh found a new love… coffee.
Ozai and Azula tried to scheme once more to kill Aang, but all they could come up with was to shove Aang and Katara into a closet.
Zuko and Mai? Well, they continued to sulk. What else is new?
Jet and his gang went back to the tree house… and accidentally set it on fire. How 'bout that irony?
All in all, Christmas was, in one word, insane.
THE END!
A/N: Yay! Heh, I got a kick out of this when I discovered it. I had forgotten it was so long! But anyways, I'll probably do some typing over the holiday break, so look out for random oneshots, maybe a new chapter of Separated We Are, perhaps even a brand new Christmas fic? So keep your eye out!
REVIEW! OR ELSE I'LL HAVE THE ELVES BREAK ALL OR YOUR TOYS!
Sokka: -dressed in an elf costume, not looking very happy- -in a monotone- Boo.
HAPPY HANUKAH!! HAPPY KWANZA!! AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
With holiday love,
Tangy
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l_l
(LOL! I don't know if it'll show up, but I made a Christmas tree! XD)