Hello fellow fanfictioners! This is my first HP story and my first one-shot.
Disclaimer: own nothing
"Oh, sorry. Didn't think there'd be anyone in here."
"S'okay."
"Right." (silence) "Actually, would you mind if I stayed in here? I'm not really, err, welcome in the other compartments."
"Oh, okay." (silence) "Soo, why aren't you welcome in the other compartments? Should I have let you in mine?"
"I mean you no harm, I assure you."
"Alright. Nothing terribly horrible that I should know about?"
"If there was, why would I tell you?"
"Out of the kindness of your heart and respect for all living creatures?"
"I don't really have either of those."
"Good. Neither do I."
"Now that we're done with the pleasantries, I suppose we should introduce ourselves."
"Good to know. I'm new at this whole, social thing."
"I'm not. The name's Malfoy, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy."
"Should I say my middle name too?"
"Of course, it makes you sound more dignified and respectful."
"I'll make note of that. I'm Albus Severus Potter."
"That's good for your first attempt at introductions. But it sounds more interesting if you say your last name before your full name."
"Why?"
"No clue. But I saw it in this old muggle movie and the guy who said it was very cool."
"Now what do we do?"
"We shake hands."
"How do you do that?"
"Merlin, you really are bad at this whole being outside your home thing."
"I can't help it, in books they always make being out in the world seem easy. I was fooled. So far, no handsome, muscular prince on a white steed has come to rescue me and take me back to his kingdom to ravish me due to my great beauty."
"That's because you have no great beauty. And you're not a witch, you're a wizard. We want the princess, not the prince."
"I like the prince's better, they are less ditzy."
"I suppose you're right there."
"Now, how does one shake one's hand?"
"I'll extend my arm like so, with my hand pointed towards you. You'll grab the offered hand with your hand-"
"Which hand do I grab yours with?"
"The one you write with. Now, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you grab the offered hand with the hand you write with and then shake it up and down for about three times."
"I think I've got it!"
"Spectacular! Now please, release my limb. Your hand is sweaty."
"Oh, sorry."
"Yes, you should be."(silence)
"Err, what do we talk about now?"
"I don't know! Merlin, you are an incredibly awkward human being!"
(frowns) "You are not very nice."
"And you are not very good at being a person."
"I'm just a bit nervous! There's no need to pick on me!"
"I'm not picking on you! I'm merely being honest."
"I hate when people do that."
"Do what?"
"Be honest. Honesty is just an excuse for someone to pick at a person. If I wanted your opinion, I would've asked."
"I think you just don't want to hear what you need to hear."
"The kindest word is the unkind word left unsaid."
"Alright, whatever you say. So, at least I know you're not a Hufflepuff."
"Huh?"
"Honesty, it's a Hufflepuff trait."
"Oh, I thought it was just loyalty."
"Ha. That's like saying that the only Gryffindor trait is bravery."
"It is a trait all Gryffindor's share."
"Untrue, have you heard of Peter Pettigrew?"
"…..Yes."
"Gryffindor. Not an ounce of bravery. And he practically started the Second Wizarding War."
"No, that was Volde-"
"Don't say that name around me."
"Why?"
"Because, just. (sighs) Please, don't."
"Alright."(silence) "So what house do you think you'll be in?"
(snorts) "Now you're attempting to have a civilized conversation?"
"I thought we were having a very civilized conversation."
"You are one fascinating wizard, Mr. Pott-. (pauses) Wait a minute, no. No. You couldn't? No. That's absurd. Potter's a common last name. But-"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?"
"Merlin, you're supposed to be the smart, well-versed one between the two of us. Yes, I'm Harry Potter's son. I'm the middle child."
"Merlin's Bouncing Bollocks! I did not see that coming! Merlin! How could I have been so stupid?"
"It seems to come naturally to you."
"Ha, ha. You're nothing like what I imagine your father to be."
"What do you imagine my father to be like?"
"Brave, resilient, handsome, chivalrous, funny, social, courageous, kind, un-awkward, daring, and well, beside being the Boy-Who-Lived, somewhat normal. Though, my father says that your father can be a bit of an arrogant git ninety-nine percent of the time."
"I don't much like being compared to my father."
"Alright. So, what house do you think you'll be in?"
"Anything but Slytherin."
(silence) "What makes you say that?"
"Err, hmm. I don't know, actually."
"So you shouldn't say you wouldn't want to be in it."
"But all the bad wizards come from that house. If you ask me, we should just get rid of it."
(pauses) "I don't very much like you."
"Oh." (gulps) "Okay. I didn't mean to offend you or anything-"
"But you said something offensive. My entire family has been in Slytherin. My father, my mother, my grandmother, my grandfather, and I'll probably be in Slytherin too."
"Oh. Then I suppose Slytherin isn't all that bad."
"Good. It doesn't become one to be intolerant."
"No… I guess it doesn't."
"Anyways, as many dark lords come from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw as they do from Slytherin."
"What about Hufflepuff?"
"None. They're all followers. Not leaders. And to this day, I've never met an unkind Hufflepuff. They're a strange house."
"Cool. What house do you think I'll be in?"
"No clue. You're strange. You don't really have a definitive personality trait besides awkwardness."
"Hey!"
"Just being honest." (smirks)
"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"That's very cheesy."
"Oh. Then we have a bit of a problem."
"What?"
"I'm a bit lactose-intolerant. But my uncle says that lactose-intolerance is just a state of mind, so I'll be fine."
"….. You are a strange one, Albus Potter."
Okay, if you didn't pick up on it from reading the story, they are both first years on their way to Hogwarts on the Hogwarts Express. Scorpius couldn't sit in a cabin with other children because, well, he's a Malfoy. Yay! Done. Please review! Reviews are like candy! And I love candy, almost as much as I love Scorpius/Albus!