My grave seems to be calling to me. How many times have I buried a loved one, only to have to continue on with a smile so that those around me feel secure? I fell in love, the taboo of heaven. And she died. She died thanks to my innocence. How many times did I deny the truth of my superiors, before learning what truth really was? How many times did I die inside while I watched the gravestones lining the pathways of heaven and hell.
Shatiel, you looked beautiful. I never had the chance to tell you. Never had the chance to savor an emotion I had never known before meeting you. How could an angel not love? How could an angel die so many times... I carry my wings as a burden. The weight of all I overlooked, of all those I have seen buried before me. Why can't I be taken as well?
These tears that come unbidden when I pray before these graves are nothing to me. I am nothing without those I cherished beyond life. I'm sorry, Zaphekiel-sama. You wanted me to smile. You overlooked the sin of my birth, took me in, treated me better than I deserved. And I ended your life. It seems I am always killing those I love, and with every death I wish someone would kill me as well.
Where is the justice of heaven? Where is the heart of the world? Where is the corruption of hell? Where is the distinction between them?
Let me die.. I just want to join those I have seen lain in the ground. How many more people will I kill through folly? Shatiel... Zaphekiel-sama.. please forgive me for not being stronger. I can't live with the pain of such loss. Let me fall...so I may join you and bring peace to my troubled mind.