Title: Forgiven not Forgotten
Author: Sierra Desiree
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Neither the characters or the song belong to me.
Summary: Finally on her own, in the midst of unpacking, Serena finds a box of memories she thought had been long forgotten. Is it time to forgive?
Serena dropped unto her new unmade bed. That day had been along one and she was exhausted. Unfortunately, the day was not yet over. She cracked her eyes open to glare at the boxes that crowded what would be her bedroom. The thought brought a smile to her face. Her bedroom. In her apartment. Not at her parent's house. Not in the college dorm. In her apartment. Her eyes focused once again on the boxes and she groaned. Now she had the whole night ahead of her to make some progress in the unpacking. First, she needed food.
Digging through the pile of coats beside her on the bed, she found her purse and out of it, she pulled her cell phone. Using that since her ground-based line had yet to be hooked up she called the nearest pizza delivery and order an extra large with everything on it. Not only had it been a long day but she eaten yet either. That accomplished she made her way into the kitchen and the piles of boxes in there. After sifting through for a moment, she found the one containing the coffee pot, coffee grinder and of course, the all-important coffee beans. Soon she had the pot percolating happily along.
The next task she set for herself was to find a cup from which to drink the coffee. By the time she found that cup she had unpacked her silverware, her plates and half of her glasses, and at that point the coffee was ready. She poured herself a cup, black, and was about to continue unpacking the kitchen when her intercom buzzed.
"Hello?"
"Pizza delivery."
"Be down in a second."
She was just about to walk out her door when Serena remembered her money was in her purse, which was in her room. A quick dash into the bedroom, including a few jumps over boxes, put the money in her hand, and she was once again heading out the door.
Five minutes later she stood back in her kitchen, now with pizza box in hand, and faced with a dilemma. Every available surface was covered either with boxes, empty and full, or with the newspaper she had used as packing paper. With a sigh, she decided the food would just have to wait until she had cleared some room. The pizza found a home in the fridge and Serena stared at the boxes as she sipped her coffee. Now that she had lost some of her momentum, she was not quite sure where to start.
"Oh well," she muttered to herself, "Right here is as good a place as any." She grabbed the box that was nearest at hand and got to work.
A few hours, and a few more cups of coffee later, Serena stood on a kitchen devoid of boxes. She had thrown all the empty ones around the corner into the living room after collapsing them. The cupboards now hid all her dishes, and what little she had of food at the moment. Gracing the counter was a spice rack, a toaster, a few canisters, a carousel of cooking utensils and a microwave.
The next room on her list was her bedroom. There was no way she would be able to sleep until the boxes were cleared out of there. Before that though, she needed to start another pot of coffee. Somewhere in amongst the unpacking she had drunk the entirety of the five-cup pot without realizing it.
Armed with a fresh cup of coffee Serena headed back into her room. She stopped on the threshold and leaned against the doorframe. It appeared she had even less of idea of where to start in here than in the kitchen.
"Organize." As if that one word where the whole of a great battle plan she set to work. Boxes containing her collection of comics, a few books and movies went into the living room, where they would eventually be placed in bookshelves. Those that held anything to do with school or her new career of interior design, which was what she had just finished studying at the college, went into the second room she would be using as an office. Clothes boxes went into one corner of her room, bedding into another. Finally, the only boxes left in the middle were the odds and ends that would be spread out over the whole apartment.
Another pot of coffee saw the clothes unpacked. Either hung in the closet or folded into her dresser. Her bed made with a pale rose comforter and fluffy white pillows and her favorite stuffed bear propped up against the headboard. Any extra bedding had been but into the linen closet that was in the bathroom, along with the few towels she had found. In amongst the bedding she had found her alarm clock and she looked at the watch she wore so that she could set it. The time she read there surprised her. Two o'clock in the morning?! She had not realized so much time had passed, she had ordered that pizza at eight in the evening. Pizza! Her stomach grumbled as she remembered the food she had put in the fridge without touching a slice. Hopping up from where she sat on her bed she decided that now was definitely a good time to take a snack break.
This time with a glass of water in hand instead of coffee and her fourth piece of pizza Serena felt ready to start on the office. She could have left it for the next day but she had had just a little too much coffee to be able to sleep yet. The boxes placed in a neat little circle, Serena dropped herself into the middle of it. If she could reach everything at once it would be so much easier to sort it all. This was the stuff she had packed the fastest, without much regard to order.
The boxes were less by half and she had neat little piles of fabric samples, floor samples, paint samples, schoolbooks and even a pile for garbage when she came to a small white box. It was about the size of a show box, there was no label, and she could not remember packing it. She set the box on the floor in front of her and took off the lid. On top was a swath of material in the palest of pinks with slightly darker flowers in an even pattern on it. It was while she was pulling it out that she remembered it was a summer dress, once one of her favorites, but she still could not remember why it was packed away on its own. As she pulled up it unfolded and she felt something heavy falls back into the box from one of the folds. Pulling the dress completely out of the box she laid it to one side. Looking back in the box she saw what had fallen, a picture frame lay so she could not see the picture it held. At least she could not see it with her eyes. In her memory, she could see the picture as clearly as if it hadn't been five years since she had laid eyes on it. She could see the day she packed away this box just as clearly. It had been spring, she was seventeen, just about to graduate and Darien had broken up with her nearly three years before. Luna had been there, comforting, but Serena wouldn't let herself be comforted, not anymore.
"Serena," the black cat purred, "You don't have to do this you know. You shouldn't, hiding from the pain won't help."
There was a silence before the young blond answered, a pause while she gazed lovingly at the picture in her hand. "I'm not hiding from Luna. I'm just putting it away. I've been hiding behind it, hiding from life. Maybe if..." her voice trailed off but the thought continued in her mind.
"Maybe if I put the memories away, I can start to forget. I forgave him so long ago, now it's time to forget.""Are you going to be okay?"
Only then did Serena realize there were tears on her cheeks. "Not yet Luna. But I'm finally starting to get there. Finally." She finished folding up the dress that had been Darien's favorite and therefore her favorite and put it the box. The lid went on and then the whole thing went up to the top shelf in her closet. Picking up Luna, she headed out of the house to meet up with her friends.
Serena pulled herself out of the memory to fins that she held the frame in her hand. Though there were no tears in her eyes, she could feel the lump in her throat that warned of there coming if she wasn't careful. Turning the frame over, she saw the picture and smiled. Her memory had not lied, he had been as handsome as she always thought, as handsome as he probably still was. Still smiling at the memories playing through her head she placed the picture on the floor beside her and dug deeper into the box. The next thing to fill her hand was a star shaped locket. Given to her, as Sailor Moon, from Darien, as Tuxedo Mask. Though at the time she hadn't known his secret identity.
That same locket had been the key to his rescue by her from Queen Beryl. Now a tear did escape as she remembered that they had both died that night, as had all her friends. They lost so much but gained so much more as they regained memories hidden in their minds when they were given their lives back. The locket joined the picture on the floor.
Next, she found herself holding a very familiar brooch. Faintly, as if echoing out of the past, she could hear her own voice yelling out the words, 'Moon Crystal Power.' She even wondered if it would still work. If she were to yell those words right now, would she still become the super hero she had once been, or would she find that time had changed her too much for it to work. Fear stopped her from trying, though she couldn't think of what she might be afraid of. The brooch was not set aside on the floor but instead placed back where it belonged at the center of her chest, its familiar weight comforting her.
There was one object left in the box. Serena picked it up gingerly between her pointer finger and thumb, turning it so that it shined in the light. It was a ring, a plain and simple gold band, given to her by Darien just before he broke up with her. She had given him one just like it and she wondered now if he still had it. When she tried it on her ring finger she found that it no longer fit, but when she moved it over one to her pinkie it slid on and fit perfectly. A dazzling smile touch her lips and her eyes, she no longer felt even a twinge of the pain she used to feel holding this ring. Only love. She truly had forgiven him. In her heart and soul, she had forgiven him and she was even surer of that now than when she had packed up this small box. She wondered how she had ever thought she would ever be able to forget. No, he was forgiven but never forgotten.
"Forgiven not Forgotten"
by The Corrs
All alone
Staring on
Watching her life go by
when her days are gray and her nights are black different shades of mundane
and the one-eyed fairy toy that lies upon the bed
has often heard her cry
and heard her whisper out a name
long forgiven but not forgotten
your forgiven not forgotten x3
your not forgotten
a bleeding heart torn apart
left on an icy grave
and a blue where they once lay face to face
nothing could get in their way
but now the memories of the man are haunting her days
and the craving never fades
she's still dreaming of a man
long forgiven but not forgotten
your forgiven not forgotten x3
your not forgotten
still alone staring on
wishing her life goodbye
as she goes searching for the man
long forgiven but not forgotten
your forgiven not forgotten x8
your not forgotten x2
no your not forgotten