Hey guys so I'm starting over on Gods and Monsters because the whole thing in my mind just didn't make sense. I actually know where I'm going this time so it should run more smoothly and get interesting quicker. Same basic story line, maybe a few new characters just to make the story flow. I obviously don't own AoT/SnK so you know, disclaimer. Also, spoiler, the first three chapters are exclusively OC, but they're super important so don't worry. Read and review. That's it J

Part 1

Cyrena

Strands of black hair fall in clumps on the wooden floor. My foster mother Laurel stands behind me, her industrious hands snipping away at my over grown ends.

"Could you turn your head for me?" she asks. I do what she says without speaking.

I watch her in the mirror as she works, pay attention to the crease that forms between her eyebrows when she is concentrating. I look at her intently because these might be my last few moments with her, for the next three years anyway. Today we leave for Trost, me and my cousin Thaddeus, to join the 104th Cadet Corps, training to fight "for the glory of humanity", as is printed on my Certificate of Acceptance and Admission. Just these moments with Laurel's fingers in my hair, this is all we have left. I promised myself I wouldn't cry but I can feel latent tears swelling in my throat.

"Are you nervous?" Laurel asks out of the blue.

"A little." I say after some thought, but it's not true. I'm excited, in fact, and terrified. I had heard this camp is a white knuckle ride through hell. Lucky for me, I've already been through hell and back more times than I visit the doctor for a checkup. "I heard the boot camp was really tough."

"Well you have no reason to be nervous. You know you're tougher than anything the world can throw at you. Hell, after everything you've been through, Shadis might seem like nothing more than a screaming child." Laurel jokes light heartedly.

I attempt a smile but I'm seeing flash backs again. Images of the Titans and citizens crushed by boulders show in my brain like a slide show. My heart starts to beat faster and I feel an attack coming on again, but I have to breathe. I have to move past this is I am going to be a soldier. I have to stay calm. I clutch the blue crystal necklace my father gave me when I was young and I force myself to think of pleasant things and present things like the blue hydrangea that is very common within Wall Rose. You see it everywhere when you walk outside. There's even a bush outside the window…

"You said you knew him?" I say getting back on topic. Laurel combs her fingers through my hair sending chills down my spine but then stops when I mention Shadis.

"Yea. Long time ago. Believe me when I say he was exactly the same." She says half-jokingly, half resentfully, I think, and then goes back to braiding my hair.

"How'd you know him?" I ask and she pauses again.

"Let's go over your Standards one more time." She says.

She's avoiding the question. I think, but I go along with it.

"Okay. The solute represents the resolve in your heart to fight those bent on the systematic destruction of our people." I drill.

"And for this reason we solute with our…"

"Right side. Your heart isn't on your left."

"Good." Laurel says wrapping the white scarf over the top of my head. My wavy black hair spills out of the back like a waterfall stopping just below mid-back. I wear a simple brown peasant blouse with a long red skirt and my crystal necklace, which I keep tucked away most of the time. The early morning sun is peeking through the window, shining a light over my face, making my blue eyes appear light green like my mother's. Staring at my reflection in the mirror her face starts to flash, until I'm seeing her instead of me.

When Laurel is done with my hair she steps back and admires her work. She grins widely and covers her mouth with her hands. She looks like she might cry.

"You look so much like her, you know that?"

I look from Laurel to my refection in the mirror. My mother had jet black wavy hair and a heart shaped face. She had high cheek bones and more definition to her features as rewarded with age. Mom wasn't old, though. She was twenty eight at the time of her death. I force myself not to think about it but that doesn't keep me from feeling sad. A small tear drops from my right eyes, Laurel gently wipes it away.

"Now, now. No tears today." She says and she lift up my chin. I smile at her looking into her dark brown eyes. She is older lady but not quite old with short red hair and basic Wall Rose middle class attire.

"You can cry all you want tomorrow, though." Thad stands in the doorway with his arms crossed, I wonder how long he'd been standing there. Laurel makes a sound of exasperation.

"Don't be such a downer, Thad." She stands and walks towards him. Before either of us know what's happening Laurel grabs Thad by the neck and starts messing up his hair. You know we're gonna miss you even though you're always such a downer!" She says through gritted teeth and then laughs, finally succumbing to Thad's adamant detests and letting him go.

"C' mon. You gotta lighten up kid." She says finally before ruffling his hair again and walking out the door. "You guys make sure you have everything ready. The horses should be here shortly.

"We'll be ready." I say and she smiles at me, lingering in the doorway with her hand on the frame. She looks from me to Thad, well, the back of his head. He stays turned around, not even acknowledging the fact that Laurel is still in the room. She seems to notice this and frowns, trying to cover it up by walking away. I frown, too.

"Why do you have to be like that?" I accuse.

"Because I don't like pretending. It's just not something I'm used to Cyrena." He says pointedly.

"Stop." I say darkly, looking away.

He knows why I had to change. I think. Or does he really?

"When are you gonna get tired of it Jenica?"

Getting called my real name after all this time is like a punch in the gut. An insult, and I won't be forgiving him quickly. Instead I storm past him to the living room, making sure I bump his shoulder as I pass.

[PAGE BREAK]

The MP guards sent to escort us to Trost district move our bags to the carriage outside. While I wait for them to finish I have my arms wrapped around my best friend Alani, I squeeze her so tight it's like I want to find a way to pull her into me and make us one so that I don't have to ever leave her. Ever.

"You promise you won't get into any trouble?" I say quietly.

"C'mon Ci, you know me." She replies confidently and I smile.

"That's my girl." I say and we break away. Alani is a master con artist and a clever manipulator. She is also blind, so no one suspects it is her doing the crimes.

Alani smiles at me with her hands still on my shoulders. The smile is then replaced by a more serious look.

"Are you gonna be okay?" she asks, her cloudy eyes are locked dead on my nose. I frown. Thad walks past us heaving a big brown box- mom's things. His blonde hair is still disheveled and he rolled up the sleeves of his white collared shirt. He moves with such aggression, like he's mad at the world, though I'm not sure he knows it himself. There was a time when he wasn't like this, but the world has a way of changing people. I watch him out the door and know Alani is talking about him.

"Yea we're fine." I say and then try to laugh. "We're going to Boot camp, Lani. That means if Thad acts up, Shadis will probably stick his foot up his-"

"That's not what I meant." She says flatly. I frown again. I know what she means now. I see it in her worried stare. I remember pulling her through the bloody streets of Shiganshina. I remember being cornered by a Titan and picking up the dead soldier's bloody swords. There was so much blood. I force the images from my mind with clinched fists and gritted teeth.

"I have to do this, Lani." I say finally.

"I wish you didn't." She says and with a sad smile.

"I know." I say softly and hug her again. "I'll try to write to you every day-" I realize what I said exactly two seconds after I say it. Alani just laughs.

"You better. Just don't put anything to personal." She teases. "Like, if you kill someone you should probably keep that to yourself."

"Right." I laugh dryly. And then we're quiet. We look at each other and smile, the rest of our conversation lingers in the air with unspoken words and understanding until our time is up.

"Cyrena." Thad calls, I turn around and he nods toward the carriage. I take a deep breath and smile.

"Duty calls." I say cheerfully.

"Go make them pay for it." Alani says, I nod and then take off. Off to a new life, one with a purpose.