Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me. It is Hidekaz Himaruya's (pout)
Warning: weird, yaoi, killing, some cursing
pairing: Usuk, mentions of Gerita.
It was an uneventful evening in the restaurant. A certain redhead gentleman was currently sipping on his cocktail while his friend, Feliciano drawled on and on about his 'cute little Ludwig'. He would never say this to the Italian but… Ludwig is a man. He is bigger and taller than Feliciano so it was a confusing matter on the gentleman part as to who is actually the one who wore the pants in their relationship.
If he didn't know his friend so well, he would have undoubtedly said Ludwig but he does know him well enough to know his next move, so, he didn't really know who is the top so to say.
"-and-and Ludwig was so adorable today! His face deliciously red as I was giving him-"
"Feliciano dear," Arthur, the red-head gentleman interrupted. He knew it was not very gentlemanly of him to interrupt his Italian friend but any guy, gentleman or not, would have their brain destroyed from the amount and detail of the stories his friend tended to tell.
"But Arthur!" Feliciano whined whipping his hand around and it was just his luck that said hand would connect with his drink sending it toppling the air and smashing into another guy's pants. Correction, it splattered across his crotch area.
"Oh my!"Arthur gasped quickly standing up and rushing to the man. He fished his pocket for his napkin and used it to try to wipe the stain off of him. "I'm deeply sorry for this!"
"It's okay dude. Hey dude… you can stop now." But Arthur was too flustered to hear him, trying fervently to clean the stain. "Dude are you one of those pervert type of guy?" The man finally said, in an accusing tone mind you. And if there was anything that Arthur hated in the world, it was being accused of something he did not do.
"Wha- How dare you? All I was trying to do is help you but I'm being called a pervert instead? He, this is UNBELIEVABLE! Where are your manner young man?" Arthur scolded, scarlet eyes piercing into the gothic looking men he had accidentally spilled his drinks on.
Now that he was actually looking at him, Arthur can say that he is a pretty handsome man. With crimson colored eyes framed by thick eyeglasses and long hair falling into his eyes. He was also scowling but in a more mocking way.
"Dude, just because you want to ogle me doesn't mean you have to 'spill' your drinks on my crotch. I know it's a pretty unbelievably awesome sight but come on man!" The man whined, eyes twinkling with a mischievious light in them.
"What? Oh that's it!" The next thing that happens was pretty much obvious, things were thrown here, things were being broke there, there was even the sound of bone breaking but it just might be their imagination and at some point during the fight Feliciano joined in the fun.
You know, if fun means killing off anyone who is not your English frined and his current enemy that is. And I meant that literally. Screaming could be heard as table knives were being thrown and hit unsuspecting victims, cutting of chink of skin off their body causing blood to stain the previously furnished carpet of the restaurant. With a stroke of creativity, table's legs were cut off to be used as weapon by the redhead gentleman and the black haired gothic.
And sometimes the wood thrown might hit the other occupants in the restaurant. Accidentally that is. More screaming, more running, more dying. It was an endless cycle as the two man continued to battle. Arthur ran to the middle of the restaurant and grabbed a still-lit candle and threw it to the still unknown gothic. The gothic man smirked and jumped, landing swiftly on his feet on another side of the restaurant causing the burning candle to hit the manager who was hiding behind him previously.
He was screaming as flame quickly enveloped his alcohol filled shirt (which was from the bottle thrown at him just minutes before the candle hit him) and latching on to the fabric of his fancy white suit. Trying to save himself, he ran to the gothic who kicked him into a broke shards of glass that just happened to be there. It pierced through his body straight through the heart.
"Don't just keep running away! Bloody hell!"Arthur yelled. Somewhere in the room, he could hear Feliciano teasing voice singing 'that's not very gentlemanly of Artie~Vee~'
"The name's Alfred not bloody hell! Don't forget that dude! But that's impossible, because I'm too awesome to forget! Hahaha!"
"You're too annoying to forget you arsehole!" Arthur retorted, grabbing into the next thing on is reach which happen to be a fork and throwing it in the direction of the gothic man who kept managing to avoid the deadly projectile thrown by the angry redhead.
"It's Alfred redhead!" He yelled grabbing, ironically, a spoon to said redhead.
"It's Arthur, you arse! don't call me redhead!"
"So your name is Arthur you arse. Nice! Can I call you Artie? It rhymes with my name see? Alfie Artie!"
"Oh shut your mouth! My name is Lovino Vergas! And don't make nicknames for me you bastard!"
This went on for a long time. And somehow it ended with both of them in a lip-lock. Feliciano had left when all the occupants in the restaurant were dead or dying and no more fun. Arthur backed off letting a trail of saliva to connect their lips and smirked at the gothic before sauntering away. Though not before noticing a piece of paper being slipped into his pocket that is.
When he deemed himself far enough, he reached into his pants to take out the paper. It says…
'This is fun! We should do this again Artie!
Roleplaying and finished the mission at the same time? Best idea ever!
Wait for me kay, make sure you clean yourself nicely babe!
Love, Alfred
P.S : I'm going to erase our trace then I'm going back home!
Arthur smiled before running to his house to get ready.
A/N: yeah...