Never Satisfied

Summary: When Cal goes to sleep one night on Titanic and dreams of every bad thing that will occur with him, Rose, Ruth and Lovejoy, on the ship, he works so hard to try to right the wrongs he has made and will make with Rose, so that his dream doesn't come to fruition—only he doesn't realize that no matter what he does, he's doomed to face tragedy and heartbreak.

Cal awakened early from his sleep in his cabin. He awakened in a cold, heavy sweat. He looked all around him with horror. He couldn't believe the five hour dream he just had, it was so realistic, no horrific, so tragic. As he slug himself over the side of the bed and sat on the edge, he closed his eyes and could still hear the screaming in his ears, the feeling of Rose's pain, her sadness, the depth of his rage and anger, the fear that was locked into Lovejoy's eyes as he saw death coming at him within seconds before Titanic split into. Yes, on the second morning of Titanic's voyage, Cal had saw – everything. He saw his controlling behavior towards Rose, firsthand through Rose's eyes, he saw Rose's betrayal with Jack, he saw Bruce Ismay and Thomas Andrews and Captain EJ Smith, arguing somewhat, about speeding the ship faster, despite the fact that there could have been dangers from doing so. Cal saw his anger and rage when he discovered Rose was cheating on him with Jack, him shooting at Jack and Rose, him sending Lovejoy after them, Lovejoy getting beaten up by Jack, Lovejoy dying on the ship, by falling into the middle of the 'split in half' ship, Jack and Rose making it into the water and Jack dying, Rose making it onto Carpathia and declaring for Cal to never see her again, and then he saw his life – his entire life after the Titanic sinking – and his suicidal death in 1929. Yes, Cal saw it all and it all left a tragic memory in his mind.

As Cal sat at the breakfast table, on the deck of his cabin, with Rose sitting across from him and Ruth sitting on his left side and Lovejoy sitting on his right side, neither Rose, Ruth or Lovejoy had any clue as to why Cal had invited all of them together at the table for breakfast. It was something Cal had never done before.

"So, what was it that you wanted us all gathered here for, Mr. Hockley?" Lovejoy asked.

Cal looked at Lovejoy with a slight agitated frown and then he glanced at Rose. He could see the discomfort written all over her face. His dream was a reality in all sorts, he was beginning to see.

"I—I had a dream last night." Cal said in a low tone. "It was a very horrific dream. A dream where I was abusing Rose in every way on Titanic."

Instantly Rose's eyes shot up and stared at Cal. She couldn't believe he was making such an admission. He was admitting that he was abusive, that was something he had never done before.

"A dream where she ran off with some—young poor man named Jack Dawson and then I became very upset about it—enraged in fact and I tried to kill this Jack Dawson and Rose—"

"Cal, you did NOT have a dream like that." Rose snapped.

Cal looked at her with upset eyes for a brief moment.

"I did SO." Cal snapped with an eyebrow raised.

Cal sighed as he sat up more erect in his chair and nodded briefly. He looked over at Ruth and Lovejoy, both of whom were looking at him as if he were nuts.

"I'll start at the beginning with the telling of it." Cal said in a low voice.

~An Hour Later~

"And so with that, with me killing myself, that was the end of the dream." Cal said, as he swallowed hard and looked at Rose, Ruth and then Lovejoy, uncomfortably.

Ruth looked down at her dress as her eyes widened with shock.

"My GOODNESS," Ruth said in a low tone. "What a horrific dream, it sounds more like a nightmare than a dream."

Rose stared at the table sitting in front of her, almost in a daze. She couldn't believe what she had just heard from Cal. What if there was a man who could save her, the way Cal described? What if there was a man who could save her, who's name was Jack Dawson? And what if Rose found him before he found her and if she did, what if she were able to save him from dying the way Cal described in his dream? All these thoughts were rummaging through Rose's head, but were quickly relinquished as Lovejoy began speaking, his voice pulled her right out of her mental thinking daze.

"So, so Mr. Hockley," Lovejoy said, as he stared down at the table, blinking and frowning heavily, "You're saying you had a dream—where this Jack Dawson, not only beats me to a bloody pulp but then I die here on Titanic—by falling into the middle of the split into ship?"

Cal stared at Lovejoy and nodded with a strong, careless look.

"Yes, Lovejoy, that's exactly what I'm saying." Cal said strongly. "It was so—surreal too, to watch you being electrocuted by the wires of the ship, you had to have been shocked to death close to fifty times, with blood spewing from your mouth as you were being repeatedly shocked and—"

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Hockley, I suddenly feel nauseated." Lovejoy said as he quickly stood up and quickly dashed off the deck and out of Cal's cabin, Lovejoy's face pale and filled with shock and horror at Cal's description.

Rose almost laughed aloud at seeing Lovejoy's reaction to Cal's description of his death, it was the first and only REAL emotion and reaction that Rose had ever seen from the manservant of Cal's.

Cal stared at Rose endlessly as she elegantly sipped her coffee. Cal loved her, he knew she thought he didn't, but he knew he did. He just loved her all wrong, from the dream he had, he knew that now. As Lovejoy came back and sat down at the table, Rose looked up at him briefly.

"Are you alright, Mr. Lovejoy?" Rose asked, pretending to care, well she did, but then she didn't at the same time.

Lovejoy nodded briefly and shook his head and sighed.

"I will be," Lovejoy said almost weakly. "Once I get Mr. Hockley's horrific dream out of my mind." Lovejoy added in a low tone.

Rose scoffed and smiled as she sipped more of her coffee.

"Rose, I'm sorry." Cal said lightly, while staring at her with seriousness.

Rose looked up at him, with a blank expression.

"What?" Rose said.

"I'm sorry Rose," Cal repeated. "I'm—SO sorry for—for every moment that I controlled you, abused you, made you feel scared, frightened. I'm sorry Rose."

Ruth stared at Cal as if he were doing something most hideous. She then contrived a laugh.

"Oh, Mr. Hockley, you did nothing of the sort." Ruth said with a smile.

"I DID do everything of the sort." Cal snapped as he briefly glanced at Ruth. "That—that dream helped me to see that. For the first time ever, I saw things through—YOUR eyes, Rose and it was—horrendous. I was a MONSTER. I'm sorry."

Rose and Lovejoy stared at Cal with complete disbelief. They couldn't believe this was the man who just the day before said that he felt like taking Rose's head and snapping it until it popped off. Now, now he singing a different tune, it seemed.

Rose looked down briefly and then looked back up at Cal, speechless at first, as to how to respond to him. So, she simply nodded.

"Rose, I want you to be honest with me, alright?" Cal said as he sat up even more in his chair, as if he were trying to brace himself for what he was about to say to her next. "Do you want to get married to me?"

Ruth gasped and looked at Cal with horror.

"Well of course she does!" Ruth said with a nervous smile.

Cal sighed almost angrily and rolled his eyes at Ruth, and Ruth looked at Rose with warning eyes.

"Of COURSE you want to marry him, DON'T YOU, Rose?" Ruth said in a sharp tone.

"NO!" Cal yelled angrily as he stared at Ruth.

Cal's loud yell made both Ruth and Rose jump a bit.

"Ruth, I do NOT want an answer from YOU," Cal snapped. "I want an answer from ROSE. She doesn't need you to speak for her, she's a big girl."

Rose stared at Cal with disbelief. Was he actually defending her? Something surely must have happened in the middle of the night for Cal to doing such things that Rose had never seen from him before.

Rose nodded at Cal.

"No Cal, I—I don't want to get married to you."

Immediately Ruth gasped loudly, and Cal stared at Rose as if he had just heard the most horrific news ever, Lovejoy seemed to be tuning out everything and everyone, and was sipping coffee and reading the newspaper on the table. In Lovejoy's mind, Rose, Ruth and Cal were quite boring to be listening to anyway.

"Not right now anyway." Rose said as she looked down at her dress, nervously.

Despite being across the table from Cal, she could hear a slight sigh of relief from him.

"Cal, I'm just not ready to get married." Rose said as she looked up at him. "I want—I want to see the world, do things, explore, not be settled down into marriage right now."

"Well that's just ridiculous!" Ruth said loudly with a angry, brief smile. "You NEED to be married, Rose, to—"

"Ruth, PLEASE!" Cal snapped angrily with a sigh. "This conversation is truly between Rose and I, we don't need any interference."

"Well then why did you invite us both here, Mr. Hockley?" Lovejoy said as he continued reading the paper and sipping his coffee.

Rose almost had to laugh at that remark, for some reason, she found Lovejoy comical today, that was odd because the man was never comical—ever. He was just one tall, robotic manservant, no smiles, half the time, no jokes—nothing. Today was a treat for her almost.

Cal looked at Lovejoy with an eyebrow raised.

"Well, because—LOVEJOY," Cal snapped, "I wanted to inform you and Ruth of the dream that I had, that included you BOTH. That a good enough answer for you?"

Lovejoy looked at Cal briefly with a careless look and shrugged before going back to looking at his newspaper and turning to the next page. Cal scoffed and shook his head.

"Well then its settled," Cal said with a nod. "The wedding is off."

Ruth gasped loudly and looked at Cal with shock.

"WHAT!" Ruth yelled.

Rose herself stared at Cal with shock, she had no idea what the hell he was doing or what ulterior motive was behind whatever he was doing.

Cal sighed and nodded.

"If Rose doesn't want to get married right now, we won't," Cal said. " But I—I just—I want her to give me another chance. Rose, I'm asking you to please not leave me for this—Jack Dawson character—if and or when he comes along."

Rose looked down at her dress again and scoffed.

"Rose, I—I promise." Cal said. "I promise from this day forth, I won't control you, hit you, abuse you in any way, I will be a perfect gentleman to you, I—I swear, just please—please don't leave me Rose. I—I love you. I need you. I promise. Just give me another chance."

Rose looked up at him and stared at him for quite some time before responding to him, she was trying her very best to evaluate him, both on the inside as well as the out. She couldn't say that she didn't love him, because she did, but she wasn't IN love with him any longer, not after all the abuse and the controlling behavior he had sent her through, both before they boarded Titanic and after. He was handsome and he was charming.

"Alright," she told herself, "one more chance, one more chance with Cal to see if he'll get it right, besides, you know he won't. He never does, he always promises that he will, but doesn't and then when he doesn't, you can be free to go off and find whoever this Jack Dawson gentleman is, on Titanic, and find out if he's just as Cal's dream described him to be."

Rose nodded with a complacent look at Cal.

"Alright Cal, one more chance." Rose said lightly. "I'll give you that."

Cal sighed and looked down with a brief smile before looking back up at her.

"But no more controlling behavior, no more hitting me, no more abuse, Cal or I swear, I WILL find this Jack Dawson character and I will go be with him." Rose said sternly. "Especially if he's as heroic as you say he was in your dream."

Ruth quickly gasped loudly and quickly got up and stormed off of the deck, while Rose looked on with a smirk. She was glad her mother was so upset with what was occurring between Cal and her. Maybe now Ruth would feel some of the upset and stress that she herself put on Rose. Cal looked as if he could care less that Ruth left the deck.

"No please, do NOT go find him, Ms. Rose." Lovejoy said as he looked over at Rose with seriousness. "I'm absolutely in NO mood to go fist fighting some young lad all around the first class dining room of this ship."

"Mr. Hockley doesn't pay me anywhere NEAR enough for me to do something like that." Lovejoy said in a low tone that only Rose could hear.

Rose laughed.

"Alright, where's the real Spicer Lovejoy and what have you done with him?" Rose asked in a low voice with a brief smile.

Lovejoy scoffed and slightly rolled his eyes with a brief, faint smirk as he went back to reading his newspaper.

Cal rolled his eyes at Lovejoy and nodded at Rose.

"Alright Rose, I promise, I won't do any of those things anymore." Cal said strongly. "I'll do anything just to keep you."

"Well now that things are on a equal balance between you and Ms. Rose, does that mean I can stop following her all around the ship, as if I'm her chaperon and she's some child?" Lovejoy asked Cal. "I mean if you're going to stop controlling her, then I don't need to follow her everywhere and I can do—other things with my time."

Rose looked at Lovejoy with a surprised smirk and tried her best to keep in her laughter. Cal looked at Lovejoy with warning eyes.

"And exactly what would you DO with your free time, Lovejoy?" Cal asked coldly.

Lovejoy looked at Rose and then back at Cal and shrugged with a sigh.

"I'd like to play chess with some of the lads down in second class and then there's polo," Lovejoy said as he looked down at the table, looking with deep thought. "Oh! And maybe—just maybe I'd like to do a little shopping when Titanic stops in Cherbourg, France and Queenstown and then—"

Lovejoy stopped when he saw the careless look on Cal's face, Lovejoy looked over at Rose, who looked very amused by Lovejoy's response. Lovejoy shrugged carelessly.

"Well, anyway, plenty of things, is what I'm saying, Mr. Hockley." Lovejoy said as he took a sip of his coffee.

Rose nodded with a smile she was trying her best to hide.

"I think it's a great idea." Rose said strongly. "If you're to trust me and not be possessive or controlling anymore than its no need for Mr. Lovejoy to follow me everywhere any longer."

"Here, here, SO WELL said." Lovejoy said in a low voice, while continuously reading the newspaper.

Rose couldn't hold in her laughter at that response and giggled slightly, while Cal looked at Lovejoy with an angry frown. Lovejoy was getting on Cal's last nerve at this point.

"ALRIGHT, Lovejoy." Cal warned in a stern tone. "I—I guess if I am to truly trust you, then I'd have to keep Lovejoy from following you around everywhere and-I will. As I said I'll do anything—ANYTHING to keep you from leaving me, Rose."

Rose nodded with a smile.

"FINALLY." Lovejoy said with a sigh, in almost a whisper, although Rose heard him and smirked with amusement.

Rose looked down and frowned slightly with nervousness. She had one other thing she wished from Cal. It involved going to a certain area on the ship, an area she had came upon, while walking around the ship the day before. She looked up at Cal and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Um, Cal, there is one other thing." Rose said with slight nervousness in her voice.

Cal nodded hesitantly, not knowing what else Rose could possibly want from him, when he had agreed to every one of her terms so far.

"There's this party that they have down in third class." Rose began. "I've seen it briefly yesterday evening and it seems like a lot of fun. Cal, let's go to this party, tonight."

Cal's eyes widened with disgust.

"Thi—third class?" Cal said with a disgusted tone. "But—but sweet pea, they're—they're so dirty down there."

"They are NOT." Lovejoy said in a low whisper with a sigh, with a slight giggle from Rose.

Cal looked at Lovejoy with coldness.

"Who ASKED you Lovejoy!" Cal snapped.

Rose sighed as she stared at Cal.

"Cal, PLEASE." Rose pleaded. "We never do anything—fun, anything spontaneous and everything else on this ship seems so—boring. It be a lot of fun. Please and—and even Lovejoy can come, if you'd feel uneasy with just us going."

Lovejoy looked up at Rose instantly at hearing his name in the conversation.

"Um, what? I'd come where?" Lovejoy said with a slightly surprised look.

"Yes, you could come with us tonight to the third class party. You just said they aren't dirty, Lovejoy, so why not come with us?" Rose asked. "It's a lot of fun, it really is, drinking, music, food, fun."

Lovejoy looked down briefly and shook his head a bit. He thought for a good moment before responding to Rose.

"Well, I—alright, I'd come, if Mr. Hockley says I can." Lovejoy said with a sigh of hesitance.

Rose nodded with a smile and looked back at Cal.

"See Cal, even Lovejoy would come, so PLEASE." Rose pleaded.

She then looked down with a sad, look, hoping to make Cal feel guilty.

"You said, you didn't want to lose me, Cal." Rose said in a sad voice.

Cal stared at Rose with a frown of upset. He didn't want to be around third class vagabonds, he hated them, loathed them, they were dirty, they were beyond dirty, they were NOTHING to him, but he didn't want to lose Rose, he loved her, he would do anything for her not to leave him and fall into the arms of some young man named Jack Dawson. He looked down, sighed and rolled his eyes at the floor and nodded.

"Alright," Cal said in a low voice with frustration. "If Lovejoy comes with us, we can go."

Rose laughed happily and clapped briefly.

"Oh great! Great!" Rose exclaimed happily. "We can go tonight, this is going to be such fun!"

"Yes, yippee." Lovejoy said, under his breath, unenthusiastically, as he read the back last page of the newspaper.

Rose laughed briefly and Cal's heart melted at seeing such happiness in Rose's face and eyes. However he had no idea that, that happiness would be short lived—at least with him anyway, because he would soon find out that no matter what he did to make Rose happy—it would never be enough for the young, redhead beauty, no matter what, tragedy and heartbreak would still find him and crush him indefinitely…..

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