It's probably what's best for you,
I only want the best for you...
Jade West walked away from a door that remained closed. She was shaking, her steps were unstable, but still she made it to her car without accident. She told herself it would be okay, but the tears came anyways. She was in no condition to drive, but being the stubborn girl she was, she started the car and floored it down Tori's driveway just because she could. A few miles down the road, she pulled into her own driveway, silently removing herself from the vehicle, and stepping into the building she called home. It was eerily quiet inside the house, and her first instict was the jump back into her car and make the short trip to Beck's RV.
Right then, in that moment, the realization of what happened hit her.
He didn't love her.
Maybe he never did, maybe he had been playing her this whole time. All those I Love You's, all those tender kisses and sweet moments, maybe none of them were real.
Bven if they were real to him, even if he really did love her, he didn't fight for her. And that was what hit her the hardest.
Like you're pouring salt on my cuts...
The next day, Jade wakes and all she wants to do is lie in bed, forget the rest of the world. But she's Jade West, she can't let the world know the break up affected her that badly. So, she goes through her normal routine, the pain returning when she realizes that Beck isn't coming to drive her to school anymore.
She walks through the doors with her poker face on, showing no emotion other than annoyance towards a few classmates. The first person to talk to her that day was Cat.
"Hey Jadey, are you okay? You look a little tired." The small redhead spoke meekly. Admittedly, Jade had spent the majority of the night crying her eyes out into a pillow, but no one had to know that.
"Yeah, Cat. I'm fine." That being said, Jade turned around, heading off to her next class.
After school, she gathered her things from her locker, and hurried out the doors with her head down. When she was almost in the clear, she ran into someone. Looking up, she saw that someone was Beck.
"Hey," He said, looking down at her, avoiding her eyes. The urge to fall into his embrace almost overcame her. Maybe she could be willing to forget the night before, all the hurtful things he said, and the one small action he neglected to oblige to.
But, no. She couldn't. Not in all reality.
So she shoots him a weak glare, the stalks the rest of the way to her car.
Even though I know it's wrong,
How could I be so sure,
If you never say what you feel...?
Weeks later, Jade finds herself getting used to sleeping alone, to not having a hand to hold or someone to lean on. She finds it a little easier everyday to act like she's angry with Beck. And, after a while, she can be around him, even speak to him without tears coming to her eyes. She would throw an insult in here or there, and he never seemed phased.
One day, she's discussing how Trina got into Hollywood Arts with part of their group of friends. She tells her story, and Beck shoots her down immediatly. It genuinely annoys her. So, when he begins to tell his version of the story, she cuts him off by accusing him of knowing everything, except how to keep a girlfriend happy. Once it's out of her mouth, she thinks she's gone too far. But he only blinks at her, and defends himself. Like it hardly mattered to him whether or not she was happy.
And, in all honestly, it stung.
I must have held your hand so tight,
You didn't have the will to fight...
As time passes, she starts to pick herself apart. Beck, he's had girls falling at his feet since the moment they broke up. It wouldn't be hard to for him to move on to someone new. But Jade... She's too dark. Too mean. Too possessive. Too hot tempered. Not pretty enough. Not talented enough.
This is what she tells herself. She stands in the mirror and picks at herself, finding more and more things that she hates until there's nothing left. The girl that was once one of the most confident in the school, is now spending days at a time moping around, knowing she'll never find anyone like Beck again. Doubting that she'll ever be happy after this.
Baby, I've just ran out of band aids,
I don't even know where to start...
When Tori is told she won the opprotunity to sing on national, live television, Jade would admit she was jealous. What did she have that Jade didn't? Oh yeah, she was pretty, she was talented, she was bubbly, she was liked.
A pain shot through her when Tori jumped onto Beck, and he hugged her tight. It hurt because Jade knew that she couldn't walk over to them and break it up. She couldn't walk into his arms and put her mind at ease. Because he wasn't her's anymore.
He gave her up.
So when Tori decides she doesn't want to put up with all the changes they want to make, Jade watches and Beck's eyes widen in disbelief when the producer asks her if she would like to be the opening act. All those years of him telling her she was the best, that no one could ever beat her out, were erased when everything in his expression was telling her she didn't deserve it.
So what does she do? She accepts the offer. Finally deciding to get over the boy who didn't care anymore.
You can bandage the damage...
After trying on about twenty crazy outfits, the stylist weighed her options for the umpteenth time.
"Let's go back to the first one." She spoke in her heavy french accent. Jade sighed, annoyed, but trudged back to the dressing room. After another hour, the woman was pleased with her appearance, and had deemed Jade ready to perform.
With ten or so minutes to spare, the teenager sat on the stool in front of her vanity. Gazing in the mirror, she sighed. This wasn't her. She looked like a moron. But this may be the only opprotunity she ever gets to showcase her talent when it matters.
And even this was on freaking rebound.
Before she can get annoyed at anything, she hears Beck's voice. She perks up, and looks around, finding a Cat's laptop still open on the table next to her. She peers onto the screen, and her stomach drops.
Tori and Beck are sitting on the couch, obviously unaware that she's able to see them, and Beck keeps inching closer to her.
She knows what he's trying to do. He's pulled this trick on her many a time. He'll get closer, talk to you in that low, husky voice, then steal a kiss. Soft and sweet. It was always a pleasurable experience, and it hurt in a way Jade didn't know she could hurt to see him attempting it with another girl.
She just can't win, can she? Always second to Tori effing Vega.
It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts...
Then, something happens that she didn't expect. Tori stopped him. And when he asked her why, Jade didn't expect Tori's answer either. Jade.
Watching the situation play out made Jade feel horrible, as much as it would pain her to say, for taking this opportunity away from Tori.
But what hurt the most, was the realization that Tori, the girl she has treated badly since day one, cared more about her than her boyfriend of three damn years.
Baby, I just ran out of Band aids...
As much as it hurt her ego, Jade gave Tori her spot back in the award show. She may never get another chance like this, but it wasn't her shot. It was Tori's. And she couldn't take that away from her.
After Tori goes on, Jade decided on a bold move. The only seat availible with her group was next to Beck. She could have sat on the other side of the venue, but she didn't. When he shot her a confused look, she smiled and patting his thigh.
It still hurt to be next to him, and after they cheered for Tori, laughed with one another, she wasn't sure where they stood. But it was better than where they were.
You never really can fix a heart...
But you can try.
a/n: So yeah, I just needed to get that out. I am writing a second part to it, to bring it all together. And that should be done by tomorrow. Haha, I just hit a spot where I need to write.
Reviews are always welcome, and strongly encouraged.
Again, with Idol season (and school) over, I should have more time to write. However, my vacation in a few weeks will play a part in what gets done. PM me if you want an explanation on that because I'm too lazy to put it here.
That is all.
Love, Cat.
Xoxo