Summary: I don't have it in me to hear anymore lies from you. With this sentence she left the house and never came back. He will never hear her voice again. Never see her beautiful angry face or her lovely smile again. She left him here alone with Jeremy. Without knowing what he should do. Without knowing what was expected of him. Alone with the guilt. AU/AH!

Dedication: Of course to Nadi(). Because of her wonderful and amazing vid called "how to save a life {(jenna_)damon + jeremy}" this story exist. You really should visit her YT channel "UltimateScream" or you will regret it. I hope Nadi this story is worth your vid and I hope you like it.

Also dedicated to Luisa. She is a lovely person and an amazing friend. Glad to know her. She is also my beta and for that I am so thankful!

Pairings: Damon/Jenna mostly, maybe later Caroline/Stefan. You can also write in reviews what you want to see…maybe Elijah/Elena or something like this. Damon/Jenna is only defined. And of course a huge part Damon/Jeremy!

I own nothing about TVD all rights and characters belong to the CW!

"I don't have it in my to hear anymore lies from you."

Jenna's words echoed loudly through Damon's head. They consumed his brain, without being able to do anything about it. The guilt was going to kill him one day in case the bourbon wouldn't bring him down first. Angry with himself and the world, he filled another glass and poured it down before he devoted himself to his tie again.

He looked terrible when he just looked in his oak framed mirror. Of course not in the sense that he looked "awful", because he was well aware of how attractive he was. But he couldn't deny the deep dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep and too much alcohol. When he was alone, he even couldn't bring himself to set up a fake smile. This one he saved for the people around him. To pretend that everything was in order. To show his feelings had never been his thing.

Especially today, the worst day of his life, he couldn't stand the fact to see the pity in everyone's eyes.

This was certainly not his first funeral but he had never felt like this. Lost. It felt as if there was a huge gaping hole in his chest and the remaining bit of his body was consumed by guilt. Soon he would no longer be here.

The memory of his first funeral just made things worse.

"We are gathered here today to bid farewell to Lillian Salvatore. Loving wife, devoted mother and a good friend. To soon…".

While the priest sermonized, Damon tried to fade. He just couldn't bear to listen further. It was as if Damon's whole world collapsed and it was not in his power to do something about it. He winced slightly when a small, warm hand closed around his and he looked immediately to his right. His piercing blue eyes met the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen. This beautiful big green eyes looking now at him with concern and sadness.

"Is everything all right?" Jenna asked him in a whisper as she squeezed his hand slightly.

For any other he would have hated this look full of pity. Not with Jenna. His best friend for years. She understood him blind and could read him like an open book. At least it felt sometimes like it.

He just nodded and then covered her hand with both of his and allowed them to rest in his lap, made little circles with his thumb into her palm. As if Jenna would be the one which should be comforted. But this little touch calmed him immensely.

"Everything will be fine. You'll be fine. I promise." she whispered him softly in the ear then rested her head on his shoulder.

There was something comforting to feel her hand in his and her warm body so close to his side. It warmed him up even to the heart. Everything would be fine. He would be fine. He could almost believe it. With a little time. With her help. With her….

Enraged, Damon pulled the tie from his neck. Not without to cut down his glass of bourbon.

"Gosh. Damn it." he cursed but made no effort to clean the mess. Then he wouldn't wear a tie today. Who would care anyhow? He grabbed his black jacket which lay on his king size bed and pulled it over his black shirt. Black. Just like the hole in his chest.

"Hey Damon, are you ready?" Stefan shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Damon just gave a surly growl without answering his little brother. Instead, he now took the bottle of bourbon again to refill his glass. He just wanted to put the glass on his lips, as he listened to Stefan again.

"Damon come on. Otherwise we'll be late!" As if Damon would hurry. "And Jeremy has already arrived."

These words were the ones who brought Damon to leave his glass untouched and hurry downstairs.

"Thanks uncle Stefan." Damon heard Jeremy say when he reached the lowest level of the stairs. Jeremy in his black suit, smoothly combed hair and a glass of water in his hand. He has never looked more mature than at this moment. But that was all wrong for a boy of just 15 years of age. He reminded Damon so much of himself, as he himself was once on his way to his mother's funeral. He knew that a boy needed his mother.

"Hello Jeremy." Damon brought forth with a firm voice unsure whether he should maintain eye contact.

"Hey Dad."

So this is my first fanfic I am really in! I hope you guys like it! Please review. It is just the beginning. But please don't be rude. If you don't like a couple just don't read the story. That simple. English is not my first language and just in case there are mistakes and Luisa or I have overlooked it feel free to point it outJ