A/N:
There are four lines missing because
I couldn't fit them into this fic.
Italic=Reid, Bold=Morgan, Bold+Italic=The Line in the song
Plain=Both doing the same thing
The song is:
Good-Bye My Lover
By:
Jame Blunt
If you find it hard to understand with the line number's
I have an AO3 account with the lyrics, so go ahead a
check it out. I'm there under SuperGenius
and will be putting a link on my
profile.
~ IAmSoCompletelyAwesome
Reid felt nervous about what he was meeting with Morgan to do. He knew if he didn't, though, Morgan would be the one to break up with him... And he didn't think he could stand it if that were to happen, so he figured it'd be best just to break it off first.
Morgan felt nervous as he waited for Reid to show up at his apartment. Reid had been pulling further and further away for a while now and Morgan was worried... If Reid were to break up with him he didn't know what he'd do.
Reid pause out front of Morgan's apartment door, stealing his nerves. You'll be in a mess if he breaks up with you, so go in there and make sure that never happens. Then he knocked on the door.
Morgan heard the knock but was reluctant to open the door, especially since Reid looked so grim, as if he was mourning the loss of someone or something close to his heart. Can't we just go back to the we were? "You wanted to talk?"
"Yeah." Reid took a deep breath, readying himself. "I don't think this is going to work out much longer."
"You're breaking up with me?" Morgan knew it, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
Reid nodded, he detected a hint of disappointment in Morgan's blank expression and took that as a hint told him that he'd been right, Morgan had been going to break up with him. "Text me a time tomorrow and I'll come collect my stuff."
"Okay." What else could he say? Reid somehow looked a bit more miserable than when he'd walked in. Morgan wanted nothing more than to kiss that frown right off his Pretty Boy's face, but he couldn't. Not anymore. Hadn't been able to, no matter how many times he'd tried, for a while now.
Reid turned and walked out the door he hadn't closed after he'd stepped just inside Morgan's apartment and blink back tears as he walked back down the stairs and into the parkade of the building.
Morgan stared blindly at the now closed door, through which his lover had just dumped him and left, leaving behind a giant hole and taking with him Morgan's heart.
Reid slid into the driver's seat of his car. He bowed his head and closed his eye's, the pain building inside him, crashing over him like waves, each one adding to the sea of self-inflected pain under which Reid was drowning.
Morgan looked around his seemingly empty apartment. He walked over and sat down at the table he's vacated when Reid had arrived. Pushing the cold coffee to the other side of the table and bowed his head and closed his eyes. The pain pulling him under it's spell was worse than he's ever felt, even when he'd watched his dad die.
They lifted their heads and opened their eye's. They turned their radio's on, hoping for a distraction, but found the same sad song playing and let it run.
Line 1
Line 2
Tell me what I did wrong Pretty Boy and I promise I'll fix it. If I didn't pay enough attention to you I'll make sure you're the only thing I focus on for more than a minute tops. If it's the music I listen to or the shows I watch I swear I'll let you decide what I like or don't. Just please come back to me, let me fix this. If I can't...
Line 3
I knew we'd end up here eventually. I knew I couldn't have anything without something ruining it. This time I don't know what I did but I know I always do something to deserve to be alone in the end.
Line 7
We may have stopped seeing each other, but fixed my broken heart for a while. Now I see it's just so you could break it even more but... You'll be forever the one who fixed me, found me when I was lost with no direction of self... And I'll probably always feel this way about you...
Line 8
I belong with you, in my mind. Even after this, the pull back's and... You dumping me. I'll always be here if you need to talk, to hold your secrets and, should you... change your mind... I'll be here to show how I always have and always will feel about you. Not that you care anymore, not for a while, have you?
Line 9-16
When I first met you I was probably one of the most broken things possible. I knew immediately I would end up with you, even if it was a conscious thought. I accepted this, and, even now, I don't regret it. You saved me and my shattered heart. You helped the tiny crushed pieces of my heart fly back together and you helped find some pieces I didn't even know were there in the first place, and when I offered it to you, you took it, even though it was still cracked, and I thought it had been because it was because you knew, despite it's condition, it was all I had to offer, and you wanted it because of this but now... I don't know anymore... You were my best friend and you were my first true love, the first person I kissed and meant it, the first person I truly felt comfortable falling asleep in the same bed with, you were the first to comfort me after a bad dream and the first to let me help with the same problem. And after... Hankle... When I had... issues... You gave something else to get addicted to... Please don't feel bad though, because I deserve this, I always have and always will. Please just move on... Reid swallowed a lump in his throat and put his elbows on the top of the steering wheel and wrapped his head in his arms, pulling at the hair at the back of his head, tears falling from his eye's, leaving tracks down Reid's nose, on the the center of the steering wheel.
When I first met you I sensed you were really broken, more broken than I knew was possible. I knew immediately I wanted to fix that for you, I wanted to save you from whatever and whomever in your past had done that to you. And that's where your nickname came from I guess, because I wanted you to know how other people saw you... But not giving away and feelings and making sure it couldn't be misinterpreted at work... But maybe I was a little to good at that, because it wasn't after... Hankle... That I realized I'd given you my whole heart and now... I'm left with nothing... I thought I knew you but maybe you needed to be told more often just where I'd placed my cards and I was to blind to see that, while you were becoming an addiction to me, you weren't ready for anyone, let alone... And now I wonder if maybe, because of your past, you felt obligated to say yes when I nervously asked you out that first time... And I don't really deserve you... After all, I've yet to put even half of the fight I know you've been through... Please just come home... Come home to me... Morgan swallowed a lump in his throat and put he elbows on the table and bowed his head so his forehead was in in the crock of his elbow and his tear's began pooling in a puddle on the tables surface.
Line 17-24
Goodbye, Derek, you don't deserve someone as broken as me and I will never deserve anyone someone as kind and caring and funny and loving as you. As much as I wish I could stay with you always I can't force my broken, pitiful and punishing existence on you any longer.
Goodbye, Spencer, you deserve so much more than the shattered heart and broken soul you fight constantly and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I hope one day you find someone as amazing, loving and someone who'll treat you like the near-god like man I've always thought you are.
They lifted their heads and stared straight in front of them, their eye's glazed over from the power of the thought's they were sending each other and tears that clouded their vision.
Line 25
Line 26
Can't break my spirit? Ha! That's funny, in a very sad, pitiful way. Yeah, you took my dreams and my heart with you, but I'm not sure how I'll survive without you. You took my spirit, my will to live, with you as well, and I'm not sure how I'll get any of it back without you.
Line 27
Line 28
Please, just find someone else, someone less broken, someone worth the weight of the world. But please don't forget me, us. How you fixed the pile of dust and tiny pieces that was my heart, how you brought me back to life, how I loved to the point it hurt and how I would've given anything for that, but you gave it to me, free of charge. Show other's that side of you and there's not a single person on this earth that could refuse you. Move on.
Line 29
And as I watch you cry I wanted nothing more than to stop the tear's, and while we were together I held you as close as I could and wipped the tear's away the best I could, but now it looks like it was never enough. But when I managed to make you smile, a genuine smile, there's never been anything I've loved to see more...
Line 30
I hope you didn't notice, but lately, when we've slept in the same bed, I simply stayed up and watched you sleep, committing it to memory, so that after this I have something to hold on to, something to picture when I'm unable to sleep, because... I need you... With me... For anything...
Line 32-36
Reid took a deep breath and sighed. I told you I've always been worried people would leave me, all alone, and you felt the same way, so why would you plan to leave? I love you... I love you and I need you with me, I can't... I'm as good as dead without you...
Morgan took a deep breath and sighed. I knew you'd think I didn't want you anymore eventually, given your past, but I would never do that to anyone, much less you, of all people, because I fell so hard in love that it hurt to be away from you... I can't move on, I can't live through this... Not without you...
Line 37-44
They both reached over to shut the radio off, but something stopped them. They both pulled their arm's back and wrapped their arm's around their mid-section's, as if trying to keep themselves from completely falling apart.
What have I done? They blinked and a single tear slid down the right side of their faces.
Line 45
Line 46
Reid closed his eye's, I don't want us to just be a distant memory, I don't want you to only hold me close in a dream, but if that's what you want I won't impose on you and your life any longer... I'm sorry...
Morgan closed his eye's, I don't want this, us, to go away but I can't do anything to help you anymore than I already have been, but it wasn't enough, so I'll let you go... I'm sorry I couldn't help...
Line 47
Maybe one day I'll be able to move on, but no time soon. Maybe one day I'll be able to push my love for you aside, but not today.
Line 48
That's not going to happen anymore... I had a dinner planed, and I was... I was going... To ask you... But I can't anymore, You're gone, you have been for a while, I was just to blind to see it...
Line 49-56
Reid opened his eye's and looked at the radio, Derek, I don't know what I said or did but now I'm saying goodbye and I'm leaving... But know I would've stayed by your side for the rest of my life...
Morgan opened his eye's and looked at the radio, Spencer, please tell me it's not to late, don't say goodbye, don't leave... Morgan stood and looked at his door. He walked calmly out, closed and locked it after his then ran don't the stair's and toward the parkade.
Line 57
Line 58
I can't take this, I have to go put things right, Reid bailed from his car to fast, and forgot about his seat. After untangling himself, Reid ran for out of the parkade and almost ran into Morgan in the entrance.
Line 59
Line 60
They stood and looked at each other for a moment. "I'm sorry." They looked into each other's eye's. Then threw their arm's around each other and kissed each other fiercely and passionately.
Reid couldn't have helped but notice the tear's on Morgan's face and in his eye's. Why did I leave you?
Morgan had noticed Reid had tear's in his eye's and on his face and he felt lucky Reid was letting him attempt to kiss those tear's away.
They stumbled to the side until they hit a wall and Morgan turned them so he was pressing Reid against the wall.
Reid couldn't think a single thought as he moved one of his hands to the back of Morgan's head, holding it so it wouldn't turn away, pull away, and end the kiss.
Morgan felt Reid's hand on the back of his head pulling him even closer and the kiss deepened.
When they both pulled away they were panting heavily, but neither moved anything but their head back a bit so they could breathe.
"I'm so sorry, I just... I..." Reid couldn't seem to form the words. "I though you..."
"You thought I was going to end it with you so you pulled back. When I didn't get clingy you took that as a hint that you were right?" Morgan felt extremely guilty.
Reid nodded and was surprised when Morgan pressed his lips hard against his own, almost like he was demanding Reid' attention, Not that he ever had to ask. They broke apart a moment later, slightly breathless. Reid looked into Morgan's eye's and saw nothing but love glowing in them.
"I love you Reid. I would never to that to you, I was planing on doing the exact opposite even." Morgan had to smile at Reid's look of obvious confusion.
"The exact opposite?" Reid wondered what that could mean... Really? Reid saw Morgan smiling when he realized Reid had figured it out. This time it was Reid who initiated the kiss.
Moment's later it was Morgan who found himself pressed against the wall with Reid's rough, unrelenting and extremely passionate kiss making him wonder why he didn't get clingy.
"I guess you figured it out?" Morgan felt dizzy and knew it wasn't just because of the lack of oxygen. Reid's smile could've lit up the dark.
"Assuming I've guessed corr-" Reid was cut off by Morgan rolling them so Reid was once again pressed against and trapped in a kiss similaire to the one Reid had just given Morgan. Reid felt Morgan pull one of his arm's from around his neck and place a small box in it from his pocket. Reid didn't even need to look to know what it was, he simply pulled Morgan closer and wrapped his arm back around Morgan's neck, still holding the box tightly.
"I'm guessing that's a yes?" Morgan loved the laugh he received for that.
"You didn't really have to ask." Reid smiled and leaned in pressed a quick kiss on Morgan's lips. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Pretty Boy." Morgan stole a quick kiss of his own, then laced his finger's through Reid's.
Together they walked up the stair's, hand-in-hand, stopping a few times to steal a quick kiss.
A/N:
And that's it.
Please go easy on me, this is my first songfic.
If there's anyone out there who has a song
and thinks it could be a great fic
I'm looking for work, just
PM me or comment
Thank's for reading
or skimming or
whatever
you did!
If you find it hard to understand with the line number's
I have an AO3 account with the lyrics, so go ahead a
check it out. I'm there under SuperGenius
and will be putting a link on my
profile. Thank you.
~IAmSoCompletelyAwesome
PS:
I'm posting a multi-chapter fic called
Goodbye, and would appreciate it
if you could check it out, I
promise it'll be worth reading soon,
it'll get good soon.
Please?