Alternate POV - the Best Man, Chapter 6

Brown Eyes Parker

Jane/Lisbon

Author's Note:

Just a different POV, from a chapter you already read. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.

Disclaimer:

Like all the times before, I own nothing.

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I wish you would hold me, and that you never told me that it's better if you leave

One Month Later

"I love you," he murmured, nuzzling her nose with his. "I've always loved you."

She reminded herself that he was drunk, that under normal circumstances he wouldn't say the things he was.

"Aren't you going to say something?" He demanded, his husky voice breaking into her thoughts.

"Just that I love you too," she answered without thinking, her voice barely above a whisper.

He kissed her then. His mouth was warm, his lips tentative and inviting. He tasted like Bloody Marys and celery. The smell of cigarettes and greasy bar food clung to his clothes, mixing with his citrusy cologne. And just like the last time, it felt completely and utterly right to be in his arms. So, she gave into him for just a moment.

Even though he was drunk he knew that kissing her was even a worse idea than the impromptu dance in the hotel ballroom had been. But he was too selfish to care about what was right or wrong. And he was certainly too selfish to care about the consequences of what a kiss between him and Lisbon would bring. All he wanted to know was the warmth of her lips, the taste of her mouth. It certainly wasn't something that he was going to find out while he was sober and in complete control of his body.

So, he took advantage of his drunken state even though he knew he'd probably regret it in the morning.

All thoughts of remorse fled from his mind when their lips met. He could only think about what she tasted like. He could only wonder why he had waited so long to do something like this, and why he had been so afraid in the first place.

He pulled away for a second and rested his forehead against her's, breathing in the scent that he had memorized so long ago. "I love you," he said again, this time a little more reverently than before.

When he kissed her again, he could feel her shaking in his arms, could taste saltiness mixed in with her espresso lip balm and the Guinness beer she had drank earlier in the evening.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked as he pulled away.

"Nothing," Lisbon answered as she looked away and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm fine. But I-I should go."

"You don't have to go—"

"I do. Please don't try and stop me," Lisbon said mournfully as she found the door knob and backed out of his apartment. "I'll see you tomorrow Jane."

"Teresa—" Jane protested loudly as he followed her out onto the porch.

Lisbon turned around and looked at him for a second, her green eyes large and beautiful in the pale moonlight. "Shhh," she said, pressing her finger to his lips. "It's late; you're going to wake up your neighbors if you don't—"

"I want you to stay," he told her.

"I knew turning around would be a bad idea," she mumbled to herself.

Jane framed her face with his hands and kissed her again. "Just stay with me tonight," he begged.

Lisbon pulled away and shook her head, not caring anymore if her heartache was on display for him. "I already told you that I couldn't. I'm sorry."

"Teresa—"

"Don't," Lisbon said, shaking her head slightly. "I love you Jane, but we can't do this now. Not when you're going to marry Erin in three weeks."

She kissed him one more time, memorizing him for the day they would only be co-workers and friends. She locked the moment away in her own memory palace for the day he said I do to another woman, for nights he would go home to Erin instead of keeping her company at the office, or making her catch a late movie with him instead of finishing her paperwork.

She pulled away and smiled sadly at him, not even bothering to wipe way her tears. "Goodbye."

And then she was gone before he had a chance to reciprocate or reply.

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The next morning, Jane woke up with a splitting headache. His lips were still tingling from the kisses he and Lisbon had exchanged the night before. And no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the look on Lisbon's face out of his mind. He'd been drunk, but for the first time in months he had been able to see her perfectly. The mask she had been hiding behind had shattered with their first kiss.

He shook his head, he slid off the couch and winced as he went to the kitchen so he could find some painkillers and tea to take the edge off his hangover.

He rummaged through his medicine cabinet and wondered how he was going to face Lisbon at work. He wondered if she was going to chalk up his slip of the tongue to his having one too many Bloody Marys. As he dry swallowed three Ibuprofens, he hoped that's what she would do. He didn't want her to verbally ask him any of the questions that had been in her eyes.

He didn't want her to know he was a coward. That he was willing to settle for something less than love because he was afraid that one day he would lose her.

He could practically here her argument now. She would probably say something terribly smart, like he had already lost her because he had chosen somebody else, and then he'd be forced to face the truths of his faulty logic.

One of the things he couldn't ever bring himself to do was admit that he was wrong.

So, he'd be the one to put a mask on this time. He would pretend that his feelings for Lisbon didn't exist, and love her from a distance. He would hope that she'd move on one day and start a family of her own while he slipped into the role of a doting husband to a woman who really only loved him as a friend. . to a woman that he really only loved as a friend.

A bubbly pop song about saying I do broke the silence in the kitchen and jerked him out of his thoughts as he realized Erin was trying to get in touch with him.

He picked up his cell phone and cleared his throat. "Hello, Erin."

"Patrick!" Erin said. "I know it's probably a little early to be calling you about this, but I wanted know if Teresa ever mentioned that she was going to bring a plus one to the wedding?"

Jane frowned. "No, she never said anything to me about it. Why?"

"Because I just got off the phone with her and she asked if it was okay."

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Author's Note II:

And if I had been able to make this chapter fit the rest of the story, we would have had Jane moping, Mashburn as a wedding guest, and a scene that was very similiar to the one where Daphene/Niles ran away in Marty's RV on Frasier. Aren't you glad I went in a different direction?

Love,

Holly, 4/1/2013_