Author's Note: So this story picks up somewhere smack dab in the middle of manga chapter 's somewhat canon, somewhat AU...probably more AU. And it's a yaoi story, malexmale. But don't worry, no lemon. I don't like writing that stuff...sorry, if you like reading that stuff. In addition to this...the last story for Madara AND Hashirama I ever read was "Man of Dreams", and that was years ago. The story was really good, but...I can't find it any longer. Since then, I haven't read any more stories dealing with the two so that being said...I hope you like this story.
Summary: What if Hashirama had actually taken a different approach towards Madara instead of letting him leave on a different path? What if Hashirama actually had the guts to stand up to Tobirama and defend his friend, rather than leaving Madara broken hearted. And above all, what if Hashirama had the will to step up and be something more than a friend towards Marada? How different would things be if Hashirama only listened to his heart and not the village. A different take on things.
Warnings: Yaoi, Don't like that stuff, don't read!
Pairings: HashixMada, TobixIzuna
Genre: Romance, family, hurt/comfort, agnst, drama
Chapter One: More Than a Brother
When they were children, just getting to know each other, Hashirama wasn't at all sure how to feel about Madara. Afterall, the two knew so little about each other. The only things they had in common were the lives of young shinobi, but above all, the dream for peace. They shared a dream that one day, the lands would be united and war would just be a story of the past.
Hashirama realized that the more he sought the dream however, the more Madara continued to go on a different path until finally, he reached his breaking point. Hashirama could tell that during the times he and his old friend clashed on the battle field, Madara was broken inside, of course no one else knew that and by that time, he knew the man a bit more. All the fighting the two had experienced had really exposed Hashirama to the true Madara. He was able to tell that Madara was hurting inside, and needed so much for someone to tell him everything would be okay. In a way, Hashirama felt that as his friend, that it was his job to make Madara feel safe and so many times he had failed.
Now, nearly months later after all the figthing, as he held Madara's hand, forming the ultimate treaty between Senju and Uchiha, he felt like he knew the man more. And he felt that he could come to terms with how he felt about Madara.
Was he a friend, or was he more than that?
In all honesty, Madara was much more than a friend to Hashirama. Madara was almost like a brother, but a brother whom he loved in an unbrotherly way. A brother whom he wanted to protect and a brother whom he knew everything about. He knew what scared Madara, he knew what made him happy, angry, sad...He knew that even with a treaty between the two clans, Madara was still angry inside.
Hashirama wanted more than anything, to see Madara smile genuinely. Better yet, he wanted to be the reason for his smile. However, standing now, there were many factors that would prevent that , such as the rest of the village, the rest of the fire country and above all, Tobirama.
Hashirama younger brother's crude view on Madara seemed to get the best of him, and he hated himself for that. He hated himself for not standing up to Tobirama and defending Madara like he should. He hated himself for not telling Madara that he would always be there for him, not matter what.
Perhaps though, he could fix that. He could listen to his heart instead of what others said. After all, he should have been doing that in the first place.
Hashirama wasn't sure how long the two had been standing there on that rock, looking from above at the village. It was hard to believe that just years ago, there was nothing but a river and a war ridden valley. But that didn't matter now, there was a village, a body and a community and most of all, there was Madara.
There was a smile on his face as he talked to Hashirama. His black unkempt hair was flowing behind him in the light breeze like a banner. For a while, Hashirama had the urge to run his hands through it but decided against that idea. It would ruin the perfect moment they were having, so all Hashirama did was stared out into the open.
The two talked about what was before them, and what was to come. What they would have to face and what obstacles they'd have to over come. Everything seemed to be going perfect and for a second, it seemed as if nothing disturb the two.
And then Hashirama said something silly, while he focused on something else, not paying attention to what came out of his mouth. He knew it was about Hokage's and their heads being carved into the stone. Whatever it was caused Madara to laugh.
"You're kidding, right?" Madara said afterwards, and Hashirama stared at him. He saw the half smile, half frown on Madara's face and felt his heart warm up inside.
"We'll give the sculptor some creative license." Hashirama began, staring at him. "After all you have a face only..." And then he stopped. He went against finishing his sentence, because what he mused on saying wasn't true at all.
He stared at Madara, for the longest time, just getting a wonderful view of him. Perhaps it was the way that only one eye was visible, or the way he always looked tired and confused. But these simple things always made Hashirama lose his breath, or made his heart beat faster than it was supposed to.
"What is it?" Madara asked, uncomfortably. "What are you staring at."
Hashirama had know it for a long time, after he analyzed it everyday. He knew that he could never hope to stay "just" Madara's friend, or "just" his brother. He knew that he wanted to be much more involved with Madara, much more than simple "friend" or "brother" boundaries would allow. And now, as the two stood here alone, he decided that it was time to tell Madara how he truly felt.
"Madara." He began, and he changed his demeanor completely. "I want you to rule and protect the village with me."
"Yes, we have established that." Madara said in a mocking tone. "Honestly, were you listening to anything I said earlier?"
"Yes, I was." Hashirama faced Madara. "And I agree with everything we are doing, but we're doing it...wrong."
And then, Madara rose an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't understand you...Hashirama?"
"Madara, I_"
There was a rustle behind the two and much to Hashirama's dismay, his younger brother appeared. Automatically he felt the friction between Tobirama and Madara, even if the two didn't say anything, it was still there.
Hashirama gave his brother a less than pleased look, but the young Senju spoke his mind.
"There you are," Tobirama began, obviously eying Madara. "Do you really have time to be goofing around here? The meeting with the heads of the fire country is about to start!"
And then again, there was silence. For a while, all Hashirama did was stare at Tobirama who glared back with a solid expression. Sighing, Hashirama gave Madara an apologetic look and made way to leave, but it didn't seem like he paid any mind to it.
Madara had made an effort to acknowledge Tobirama by simply breathing his name. Like expected, Tobirama said nothing back. He only took his brother and left Madara standing there.
Tobirama nor Hashirama could ever see eye to eye. In Hashirama's opinion, Tobirama was much too firm when even approaching the most mundane situations, while on the other hand, Tobirama believed Hashirama was much too soft when approaching the most grim situations.
Making Madara Hokage was one of those.
And as usual, even as brothers, to get their points across, the two argued. Like always Tobirama used nothing but hate to stand his ground and inevitably, their argument became centered around the Uchiha's, and Hashirama didn't like that.
"There's an ugly rumor going around about the Uchiha, have you heard?" Tobirama asked, not caring whether he stepped over forbidden boundaries or not.
When Hashirama remained silent, Tobirama continued. "The power of their eyes is directly correlated to the amount of hate they possess. That's the secret behind the sharingan."
Hate? Hashirama thought to himself. He knew Madara was angry, that was obvious, and whether or not that anger was directed towards Hashirama or not, it was still anger. But...did Madara really possess any hate?
"They'll always be an unpredictable variable." And for once, Tobirama sounded sympathetic. "For the sake of the village_"
Hashirama knew that his brother was grim, but never did he suspect him to stoop so low as to even think of a genocide.
"I don't like your tone, Tobirama." Hashirama finally spoke out, he was angry now. He never knew his own brother would dare suggest such a thing. He made way to correct him further but stopped suddenly.
There was someone outside, someone listening in on them, so standing up, he went to investigate. He opened the glass window and looked out in about.
There was no one there.
"It feels like, someone was here just now." Hashirama spoke. "Tobirama, you should be able to figure it out, right?"
The younger Senju relaxed just a bit and shook his head. "Nah...I wasn't using my chakra just now, and don't try to change the subject."
Hashirama felt his heart sink as he looked down on the roof and saw something sitting there. It was a leaf, a small leaf with a burnt hole through it. It was the same leaf that Madara had earlier, the same Leaf he used to name the village.
Hashirama picked the leaf up and held it, watching it wither.
"We're gonna do things democratically from now on, any complaints?"
"No, it's fine by me."
Hashirama held the leaf in his hand and felt guilt wallow up inside of him. The leaf was supposed to symbolize a promise...a promise to the person he cared most about, and a promise he had just broken. He crushed the leaf in his palm, and turned to face his brother.
It was time that Hashirama made his decision for himself, regardless of what Tobirama would think.
"He can't be Hokage." Hashirama spoke firmly.
"That's what I've been telling you." Tobirama replied. "He's an Uchiha, he's unstable."
Hashirama nodded in agreement. "If he can't be Hokage then..." He paused for a while, took a deep breath and spoke. "I intend to marry him. It assures the safety of the village, and a permanent treaty between both the Senju and Uchiha clans."
There was pause from both brothers. Hashirama took that as a chance to continue. "Whether you agree to it or not, it's beneficial to_"
"Beneficial to the village? Are you crazy?" Tobirama was shocked. "He is an Uchiha, and on top of that...he is ...he is a man!"
"Love comes in all shapes and sizes." Hashirama managed.
"So you're doing this for your own personal gain?" Tobirama crossed his arms and walked up to his brother. "Because you love him?"
Hashirama paused for a while and breathed lightly. "Yes, because I love him and because he needs me. You may not be able to see it, but he is hurt inside."
"And I care why?" Tobirama asked. "He and his clan are nothing but a bother to the village, death would suit them_"
"Tobirama." Hashirama warned grimly, clutching his fist. He couldn't allow his younger brother to change his mind. "I have made up my mind." He spoke. "I've decided I'll seek him out and propose to him_"
"Wait, so he doesn't know about this?" Tobirama actually sounded concerned. "Did you just decide this?"
"Yes." Hashirama replied.
"Then I'll inform you that, it can't go on, so don't you go falling on one knee and pouring your heart out." Tobirama said rather sarcastically, just enough to tick Hashirama off even further.
"There are more clans moving into the village." Tobirama started.
By that time, Hashirama had made it back to his chair and he sat patiently. "Continue."
"Amongst them, is the Uzumaki clan." He paused and smiled. "We're distant relatives with them, you know."
"They sure did help us during the war then. What kind of family is that?" Hashirama asked, in a sarcastic tone.
Tobirama sighed, and shook his head. "They're a noble family, they are not much into fighting."
"The Senju are a noble_"
"We, are a noble warrior clan, they are not. Now, will you let me continue?"
There was a short pause between the brothers before Hashirama waved Tobirama on.
"The head of the Uzumaki clan expects to make an alliance with you. With the village."
"What's new. The Uzumaki clan is not the only clan making an alliance with the Senju clan or this village."
"We'll then, it's not just a treaty then. I regret to inform you that in order for this treaty to go through, you are expected to propose to Mito Uzumaki during the clan meeting tomorrow evening."
Hashirama paused while his face underwent a series of emotions. All the while, Tobirama stared at his brother, wondering with to older Senju was going to say.
"Erm...who is she?" Hashirama finally managed.
In response, Tobirama only grunted in anger and rolled his eyes. "I hope that's not how you respond during the clan meeting tomorrow. If so, it would be a shame."
"Yeah, but I am not going to propose to her." Hashirama mustered some sort of authority in his voice. He couldn't marry Mito Uzumaki, he didn't even know her! Hashirama was certain that she was a very fine, beautiful young woman, but he was afraid of the idea of being thrown into a relationship with someone he didn't know.
"Hashirama, you'd be shaming the Senju clan if you didn't take her hand." Tobirama urged, crossing his arms. "Look, I don't care what you feel or what you don't feel for Madara, but you need to do what is beneficial for our clan and for the village. Madara is an Uchiha, he can't be trusted! The Uzumaki's are relatives to the Senju, we are already family...so please, do what is smart. Do what the village needs and what the village deserves."
Tobirama stood and left before Hashirama had a chance to reply. He for once, didn't slam the door on his way out, which was a surprise.
At that time, Hashirama had really gotten to thinking about not just the conversation between the two, but a lot of things.
He first of all, questioned his own authority, regarding Tobirama who seemed to run over him. Did Tobirama even see Hashirama as a brother, or a nuisance? Ever since the death of Kawarama, Tobirama had always been distant, even towards Itama.
Secondly, Hashirama mused on the thought of marrying Mito Uzumaki. He was well acquainted with the Uzumaki's, but marriage? That was a step he was not willing to take. He did not know Mito, therefore he did not love her. He didn't want to grow to love Mito either. If his heart belonged with someone else, it was going to stay that way and some noble woman couldn't change that. But still, Tobirama was right...was it beneficial to the village to marry Mito?
Yes it was. The Uzumaki's were a great alliance to have. Perhaps he would have to let Madara go, and put his feelings for the man aside. Perhaps marrying Mito was the better decision.
"I think big brother should do what he wants."
Hashirama was shocked when he heard the all too familiar voice coming from the doorway. Standing there, still in his battle armor he wore the day he died, was a very young Itama. However, he looked much better than he did when he was killed.
Strangely, this wasn't the first time Hashirama had seen the apparition of his younger brother since he passed, but he hadn't seen Itama in a while. Without hesitation, he decided to speak to him.
"What do you mean?" Hashirama asked.
"Well...do you love Madra or Mito?" Itama sat down.
"Well that's obvious, I love Madara." Hashirama smiled.
"Then why marry Mito? Aren't we currently fighting against the Uchiha...kinda? Not the Uzumaki...I think to marry Madara would be more beneficial. Wouldn't you rather have a treaty and solid alliance with the leader of the clan who wants to kill you and destroy the village?" Itama paused. "Or do you want to marry some noble woman of a clan with special chakra and I daresay, call us their family. If they were family...perhaps they'd be there to help us during the war and perhaps, I'd still be alive. And if you think about it, marrying Mito is like...marrying your long lost cousin! Yuck! If you marry Madara, then we can assure that the Uchiha won't kill us! I mean...you can!"
Hashirama never thought of it that way at all, and the thrilling fact was that Itama was right, about everything.
"You're a genius!" Hashirama said, standing up and rushing towards the apparition.
"Thanks...but, I wish I was still alive so my great mind could be useful." Itama admitted, looking down.
"Well you've helped me make a decision, and a very hard one at that." He knelt down and embraced the fading boy before him. "Thank you...thank you so much."
And with that, Itama vanished, leaving a cold breeze in the room behind him.
The afternoon encounter with Madara seemed strange, and Hashirama couldn't really figure out why. Maybe it was Madara's silence, or the fact that Madara didn't even look Hashirama's way. He only remained quiet as he led him down to a small room within the boundaries of the Uchiha clan.
Honestly, Hashirama felt like he intruded their residence. Not one Uchiha smiled at him as he walked by, he did afterall, make the effort to wave. He was glad Madara didn't see that.
Aside from that, some small children had nearly hit him with a kunai while training, and he wondered if they were aiming his way on purpose.
No...Hashirama did not like being in the Uchiha clan residence, not one bit. He felt a great weight lifted off of his chest when Madara finally led him into the small compacted room and shut the door. He then directed Hashirama to look at a stone in the front of the room.
Hashirama had noticed at first, but the characteristics didn't really make any sense to him.
"This plaque," Madara began, bringing Hashirama back into reality. "Has been passed down to Uchiha for generations. Not once has an outside clan laid eyes on it."
Now Hashirama felt like he was really intruding , but Madara didn't seem to understand. He only looked at the Senju shift positions for a while, and then he continued on. "Don't try to read it. You'll need a special eye technique to decipher the secret text written on it."
Like the sharingan? Hashirama thought. So is he going to...
And then, as Hashirama dreaded, things went silent.
Does he want me to try to read it? Hashirama thought to himself, feeling nervous. I guess, I should have a go at it.
"From what I've been able to decipher so far_" With such a speed, Madara was finishing up Hashirama's sentence before Hashirama was complete.
He's angry...but at what? At me?
"In the quest for peace, God decided things into Yin and Yang." Madara's tone was flat, with absolutely no emotion. He also wore a lacking expression, something that Hashirama had noted earlier.
What's wrong with him? Should I ask?
"The opposing forces worked together and in turn...gave us the universe." Madara turned to face Hashirama and spoke directly to him this time. "A wise, if not generic principle." And then he began to drift off, not really addressing anyone. "In other words, by having to opposing forces cooperate, we can achieve true happiness."
Why are you telling me what I already know. Hashirama was getting nervous and above all, he was getting tired of hearing Madara speak. His tone, his body language, everything seemed off. This couldn't be leading to anything "happy", no matter how Madara started it off.
"However," Madara began. "There is one more way you can interpret it." And when Madara said that, Hashirama felt his heart beating out of control. He knew that this whole conversation was leading up to something terrible, and he wished that more than anything, he could leave.
"Hashirama," Madara looked at him, finally showing more emotion on his face than before. But he looked distraught...he looked troubled. "Do you really think me so naive?"
Hashirama's eyes opened wide in realization...He figured that the argument blooming between the two was centered around the conversation both he and Tobirama had earlier. About the Uchiha's...making Madara Hokage...marrying Madara...
Hashirama felt his face flush a bit. Had Madara been there for that part of the discussion?
"If it's about Tobirama," The Senju managed. "I'll settle things with him! But I can't do this without you!" I can't really function right without you. "Work with me as my right hand man...as my brother!" Or spouse. "The villagers will recognize the goodness inside of you!" And if they don't, I already do... please don't complicate things! Hashirama thought as he stared into Madara's blank eyes. More than anything now, he wished he knew what Madara was thinking. "Madara...when the time comes, the second Hokage will most definitely be_"
"Tobirama, most likely." Madara said coldly and hatefully. Then he looked directly at Hashirama and continued, but there was something else in Madara's voice...was it fear? "And when that time comes, the Uchiha's days will be numbered."
What...no, I'd never let anything happen to you_
"Seeing the writing on the wall, I've reached out to all Uchiha's, telling them to distance themselves from the village. But not a single one listened." Madara paused and looked away from Hashirama.
Tobirama would never go as far as to_
"I couldn't protect my brother, and now I won't be able to keep my promise to my clan. I'm not even trusted by the people I want to protect." Madara sighed.
It was time for Hashirama to actually speak up, to actually let Madara know that things were going to be okay.
"Madara! That's not true, soon everyone_"
"At that time, I should have only given you the option of killing your brother." Madara spoke with pure hatred.
Hashirama couldn't find any words that were fitting. He only stared dumbfounded at Madara, and let him continue. "You call me your brother, but between me and him, who would you cut down?"
Don't ask me that...Hashirama thought.
"I know full well the person you are...and you are a good person Hashirama, but..." He paused and then turned around. "I'm leaving the village. I'll follow a different path."
Hashirama felt his throat grow a huge lump and his heart nearly fell to his stomach. He watched as Madara turned his back on him, on everything the two had worked on together. Was he just going to leave it?
Say something! Hashirama told himself. Do not let him leave this room!
"It's only because we know each other so well that I was able to see it." Madara spoke softly. "Cooperating is nothing more than a silent struggle."
"You're wrong!" Hashirama mustered up enough courage to speak. "I won't allow things to become that way!"
That's all you could say...really? Hashirama watched as Madara stopped for a while, and continued to speak.
"It simply comes down to your view, Hashirama. It's time we take off the kiddy gloves and stop pussy footing each other around." Madara spat, still looking away from Hashirama. "The world is better of as seen as nothing more than excess."
Hashirama could feel the tension boiling from Madara. He felt the wedge growing between the two where he stood...things were really bad, and yet he had said nothing to calm Madara down. "Did you even listen to me, Madara?"
You didn't really say anything for him to listen to...
"The only one who can fight on equal ground with me, is you." And then Madara did something that haunted Hashirama for years to come. The air within the room had shifted, and altogether, Hashirama felt an unimaginable weight crushing his chest.
At that time, Madara had turned around as a completely different person. His face was darker, his chakra had spiked up higher than usual. But the most shocking features at that moment were his eyes. The sharingan had been activated, meaning that during his conversation with Hashirama...he had held in more hate than he could hold.
Hashirama stood there and watched Madara turn on his heel and slowly, the Uchiha made way to leave.
Stop him...Hashirama unknowingly made a few steps towards Madara, but didn't seem to notice. Do not, let him leave.
And then Hashirama did something that surprised both of them.
Quickly and firmly, he grabbed Madara by the arm and turned him around. Then grabbing his other arm, Hashirama only held Madara and faced him. He knew that it was a fools move, but he made himself look deep into Madara's eye, at least the one that wasn't covered by hair.
Madara looked shocked, but not angry. Something that made Hashirama rest inside, but it was obvious that he was trying to pull away. At the same time, Hashirama realized how dull his move was. Yes, Madara was his friend, but he was still an Uchiha. But Hashirama wasn't the brightest when it came to things like that, he knew that, and he was sure Madara did as well.
"I'm not...I'm not letting you leave." Hashirama spoke quietly.
"And who are you to tell_"
Then Hashirama made another strange move. He released his grip from Madara's arm and brought his hand up to move Madara's hair back from his face, revealing his other eye. It always annoyed Hashirama, not being able to see both beautiful dark eyes. He couldn't take it anymore, so he just had to do it.
"Hashirama...let me go." Madara commanded, sounding a little unsure himself.
"No." Hashirama solidly replied. "I'm not going to ever let you go again!" He grabbed Madara's arm again and held him with a solid grasp. "How can you decide to leave after everything we've done together! How can you decide to leave...and not even think about me?"
And for a second, Madara looked sympathetic but only closed his eyes and turned away. "Hashirama, let go_"
"Or what? You'll kill me? Your sharingan is on...you've had that chance for a long time." Hashirama replied.
"Hashirama!" Madara began to resist, but Hashirama had a tight grip. "You can't force me to stay_"
"Yes I can because I know you don't want to leave, and I know you are hurting inside!"
"You don't know a thing about_"
"Yes Madara...I do...I know you more than you know yourself...I would never let anyone hurt you, not even my brother." Hashirama sounded sincere, but Madara didn't buy it.
"You say that now, but when the time comes...it'll always be him. For Hokage, it'll be him, am I right?" And for a while, Hashirama was silent, which prompted Madara to continue. "I was right...and you said that I was a brother to you."
And he felt Hashirama let go of him.
He sighed silently, and began to walk towards the door until Hashirama spoke again. "You're right..." He said, as Madara stared at him. "About the Hokage," He began to walk towards Madara. "And about being a brother...I'm sorry, but I can't ever see you as a brother, not any more." He stood behind Madara, as the Uchiha had his hand on the doorknob, he turned around to face Hashirama.
"You are so much more than a brother to me...so much more than just a friend." And again, he restrained Madara by grabbing his arms. The Uchiha had cursed silently for falling into the same trap again.
"Hashirama...let go!" Madara commanded, but it was clear that he was being ignored. "Do you think I'd believe a word you say! You're probably planning something with Tobirama...do you want to kill me? Do you want me dead? Do you truly hate me that_"
"Madara just shut up and listen! I love you so much but you...you..." And then Hashirama made the move he had been meaning to.
He leaned in, and with all the undiscovered passion he could muster, kissed Madara until both their lips were swollen. He felt Madara under him, trying to resist for the whole time, but he still subsided to the kiss. However, Hashirama didn't dare release him, he knew that would be a mistake.
Before the two suffocated from the lack of air, Hashirama broke from the kiss and instead, softly brought his lips to Madara's face...his cheeks...his neck...and then back up to his eyes. He brushed his lips of Madara's eye lids which were heated from the sharingan.
"Hashirama..." He heard Madara breathe.
"Marry me." Hashirama replied, finally releasing Madara. The Senju stepped back and continued. "I'll take care of you!"
"What...No...my clan, your brother_"
"I won't let anyone, hurt you or your clan! I swear...just marry me!" Hashirama swore, but he saw the confusion in Madara's eyes. He only shook his head.
"I can't." He replied, as his sharingan vanished. "Why would...I don't..."
"Please, there is a clan meeting tomorrow! You are expected to be there...except my proposal now so the meeting can go well."
But Madara only shook his head. "I can't, stay in a village that doesn't want me."
"But I want you!" Hashirama yelled. "I need you! I can't function without you! Please...think it over, don't leave Madara."
"Perhaps..." Madara's voice had become cold again and like before, Hashirama noticed the terrible shift.
Hashirama felt confused and almost hurt as he tried to confront Madara again, but he realized that something was happening to him. He felt lightheaded and the room around him became dark. He tried to keep his eyes on Madara but sooner or later, he vanished as well.
I really hope you like it! If you review, I promise to update! And remember...I don't own any of Kishimoto's characters...only my own!