Title: Tales of a Faker
Pairing: Shirou/Rider as main pairing, Shirou/Rider/Rin/Ilya + maybe others later
Rating:M (For violence, language and adult situations)
Summary: AU from Heaven's Feel: What would have happened if, as Shirou decided to discard his ideals to save Sakura, Kotomine couldn't help her and she died, issuing a last order to her Servant to make a contract with Shirou ?
Warnings:Descriptive violence, death, strong language, implied adult situations. No lemon expected for now, if ever. Spoilers for the V/N Fate/Stay Night This story assumes you already have some basics in the scenario of the V/N in general and Heaven's Feel in particular.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero or any Type-moon or nasuverse reference. No money was earned (but if you want to donate me anything, feel free =D).
AN: Please be indulgent as it is my first story ^^ All constructive criticisms will be gladly and gratefully accepted !
Tales of a Faker
Chapter 1
The weather was very cold. It wasn't raining yet, but the air was chilly and I could feel that a storm was coming. I was sitting on a bench in a desolate park. Nobody was out at this time. Of course the little fairy-like girl wouldn't be there. After all, we said we would be Masters at night. A small part of me was disappointed that she wasn't there, but for now I had other things to think about. Even though I looked dead on the exterior, my mind was boiling with different thoughts.
'As a magus, I can't let Sakura become a heretic. If it comes to it, I'll have to kill her. What will you decide, Emiya-kun?' The cold voice of Tohsaka was echoing in my head.
'If she's left alone, a lot of people may die. If you're willing to let go of your ideal, Emiya Shirou will be judged by himself.' Archer's prophetic words seemed to resonate within my soul, as if somebody had walked on my grave.
'If I became a bad person, would you be mad at me?' Sakura's seemingly innocent question, almost as an afterthought, suddenly became of the utmost importance.
'I'll become a Hero of justice so that a disaster like ten years ago can never happen again.' My own words, which had defined me for a decade, seemed so hollow now.
"….-chan"
'To be a Hero is to be selfish. If you save someone, you cannot save someone else. A hero saves only those he wants to.' My father's words cut me deep. Who would I chose? The many I didn't know or the few ones I loved?
"ONII-CHAN!" Huh? Oh, Ilya was here. It seemed she came around when I was deep in thought. Normally I would be happy that she came to see me, but I couldn't bring myself to care right now.
"Shirou, that's not nice to ignore a lady. Especially when she went a long way to see you." Ilya said mischievously while hugging my arm. I normally found her childish behavior endearing, but at this moment, I just wanted to choke her. It was foolish, but I didn't want her to be happy when my whole world was falling apart. Even so, I tried my best to stay polite.
"What are you doing here Ilya? Weren't you the one to tell me we would be enemies after nightfall?"… Or not. It seemed my brain wasn't working at full capacity. Ilya looked up at me with surprise in her ruby eyes.
"Hmmm, that was when we were enemies, Onii-chan. Now that you have lost Saber and your Command Sigils, you are not a master anymore. Now, I can make you mine!" She finished happily while tackling my arm again. The gesture was both cute and innocent, but for now, I absolutely couldn't deal with it.
"Cut it out! I don't have time to play with you now Ilya." I snapped angrily at her, while jerking my arm away. Ilya stepped back, looking like she had been slapped. I instantly lowered my eyes to the ground. It ashamed me that I would take it out on Ilya, who had always been cheerful and who I had began to know and like in the previous days. Now, I had snapped at her, rejecting her just because she had been happy to see me. I braced myself for the angry answer she would give while shutting my eyes, but instead of harsh words and a glare, I felt a hand gently stroke my hair. Startled, I looked up to see Ilya with a small sad smile on her face, patting my head.
"Ilya …"
"How could I be mad at you when you look like you'll cry anytime soon? I don't think you could bear someone else hating you right now so I'll forgive you this time." Her small smile got brighter and wider as she talked. I suddenly felt a rush of affection for the snow daughter and embraced her little form. I heard her giggle a bit.
"Silly Onii-chan, you really thought I would hate you?" She giggled a bit more, but then she became serious as she stepped away from my embrace. "So, what will you do concerning Sakura? You know that Rin will try to kill her if she shows the slightest sign of becoming a heretic." It didn't even surprise me that Ilya knew about Sakura. After all, she was one of the most powerful magi in this war so it was obvious she would have some source of information. "You know, I wasn't totally joking when I said I would make you mine, Shirou. I like you so whatever path you chose, I'll support you."
My thoughts stopped when I heard that. Basically, Ilya just said that she would betray her family and heritage to help the adoptive son of the man who had abandoned her.
"Ilya, why would you go against everything you learned and believed just for me? Didn't you want to kill me?"
Again, the fairy-like girl's face got this sad and gentle smile. "Yes, I wanted to kill you at first. But since then, I have learned a lot about you and your personality. Instead of being afraid of me and reject me, even since you learned of our connection, you have tried your best to connect with me. Even though the Einzbeirn raised me, they did it to get the best master they could. You, on the other side, tried to connect with me because for you, that's what siblings would do. It's because of that that I want to help you."
My thoughts process stopped again at those words. So it was that simple. Ilya liked me so she wanted to keep me safe and help me. After all, that was the best reason for being allies. And then it hits me like lightning. A lot of memories with Sakura and I. Memories of cooking together, going to school and back together, eating with Fuji-nee. All this time, I had tried to delude myself that I only saw her as an underclassman, or at the extreme, as a sister.
Wow, no wonder Tohsaka and Fuji-nee thought I was denser than a brick. But now, I could say it without hesitation. I liked, no, I loved Matou Sakura with all my heart. Then it was obvious what path I would take.
For a moment, I closed my eyes. In my mind, I saw the fire that made me the person I was now. I also thought about my oath to the blue servant who had been my shield and sword for a few days and sacrificed herself to protect me. Taking a deep breath I made my decision.
"Yeah Ilya. What good is the world I save if the ones I love are not in it? Even I know that."
And I rejected it all. I felt something crack deep inside me as the cries of the victims of the fire echoed in my head and I knew no amount of atonement would make up for it. Then, another memory of Sakura and me popped in my mind, and my resolve ruthlessly crushed my guilt. As my father said, a hero had to be selfish in which people to save. From now on, I would become a hero for my loved ones. If protecting them saved other, all the best, but they would always come first.
The smile on the snowy girl seemed to brighten the entire little park. "Yes and that's why I'll support you, Onii-chan. I'm glad you didn't become like Kiritsugu."
That's right. My father would have sacrificed Sakura without another thought if it could have saved other people. As a matter of facts, he had abandoned Ilya for that. Even though I had admired and loved him deeply and still did, it was the only thing I couldn't forgive him for. It seemed my protectiveness had expanded from Sakura to Ilya.
"You know, Ilya, when I said I would protect my loved ones, you were included in them. It's twice now that you have helped me and I like you too. If you ever need my help or simply want to see me, I'll do my best to be there for you." I told her sincerely.
"Even though I'm not sure what I could do that you couldn't do yourself or with Berserker's help." I added, while laughing a bit sheepishly.
Ilya seemed surprised by my words and then blushed a bit before tackling me in a tight hug.
"Yay, Onii-chan will become my new doll!" And said something outrageous. My face must have been funny because she burst in laughter. Calming herself, she beamed at me.
"Joking aside, I'll be in your care then, Shirou." She did a little curtsy. As the first raindrop fell, she turned away in the direction of the church.
"You should go, it wouldn't do for you to come after everything's over wouldn't it, Onii-chan? I hope I'll see you soon!" She smiled at me and twirled a bit before walking away while humming softly. My gaze lingered a bit on her before I ran quickly back to the church.
The rain started to fall in earnest and I could hear faintly the thunder coming.
Interlude
Pain. My whole world was pain. I could feel it in my whole body, but mostly in my spinal chord and near my heart, like a knife stabbing me there. I could also feel my magical circuit being burned away as my magical energy was drained. The pain was constant but at regular interval, it would peak in my core, alternatively sending me into insanity, and then back into sanity. And then, the pain was numbed. I could feel my consciousness coming back.
"It seems you are awake, Matou Sakura." I heard a strong male voice calling my name. I recognized the man as being Kotomine Kirei, the supervisor of the Holy Grail War. For a brief moment, I wondered what I was doing in a place like that before the events of the day came crashing on me, making me shiver. I remembered being taken by Nii-san from Sempai's place, then being dragged to school, a silent Rider standing indifferently and silently aside. Then, sempai came, and took a beating from Rider to try to free me, ending when she sent him to Nii-san and he took the knife threatening me. I then remembered taking back the control of Rider when Nii-san tried to kill Sempai, the battle afterward and then, fainting when Nii-san used an aphrodisiac.
"So, do you know what's wrong with you, Matou Sakura?"
"Of course I do priest-san. It is my body after all." My voice was raspy. It fitted with the burning I could feel in my throat.
"Very well. Then you know that I cannot do anything to cure you. I thought I could remove enough of the worm to let you work as a normal human at least, but it was too anchored in your nerves and body. With the additional drain of using a Servant your magical and physical energy will be depleted in very little time."
"Yes. As I feel it, it would seem I'll die in about an hour, maybe two. Less if I try to use any magecraft."
"Oh as expected from the Matou heiress. You know your body quite well. So let me ask you, Matou Sakura. What will you do with the few moments you have still? You seem to take your impending end quite well." The priest's even tone took a slight amused quality to it as he finished talking.
"It's true. I thought I would be scared from death, but I feel I can accept it like this. After all, I'd rather die than become a monster that would eat people to get their energy." As I talked, I could feel a tear stream on my cheek. "But you know it is quite a pity. Sempai was just starting to acknowledge me." My tone was the slightest bit bitter and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit, but the chuckle turned into a coughing fit. "It seems I have even less time that I thought. Priest-san, could you please open the backdoor for me so that I can speak with my servant?"
"It seems you have chosen what to do with your remaining moments. Let me just remind you that materializing your servant will drain your magical energy even faster."
"I know, but it has to be done. In a way, Sempai got hurt because of me. It is only fair that I protect him to atone for that."
"Very well I won't try to stop you. I'll let the door unlocked so that you can either talk to your servant or try to flee death if that is what you wish. Either way, I don't really care. I saved your life because it was asked of me but what you do with the rest of your life is your business." Even though the pain was coming back little by little, the last words were so typical of the fake priest that I couldn't help but laugh. Once more, the laugh provoked a bad coughing fit. By the time I recovered from it, the priest had disappeared, letting only the almost hidden door in the back of the room opened.
As I got out in the little courtyard behind the church, I got surprised by the cold rainstorm. Still I had something important to do.
"Rider, could you please come forth?" As soon as I finished, the air rippled beside me and my beloved Rider appeared. Her long purple hair was dancing around her in the wind. Her dark outfit seemed to be a part of the darkness surrounding us. Even though I couldn't see her eyes behind her blindfold, I knew her gaze was fixed on me and her mouth was in a fine line, betraying her concern.
"Are you sure it was a good idea to make me take form with your magical reserves so depleted, Sakura?" Her voice would seem emotionless to anybody, but I could hear the worry in her soft tone. Although Rider appeared as a brutal killing machine without any emotions, almost the epitome of the antihero, she had kept her good heart and could be very protective of those she liked. She had protected her sisters for a long time after all, and she had never killed human for killing's sake. It had disgusted me that Nii-san would force her to kill innocent humans to increase her magical reserves.
"From the connection of our contract, you know as well as I that I only have a few moments left before I die from lack of magical energy. Even if I could survive, it would be as a vegetable at best and as a crazy killing monster at worst. Even though I want to live, I cannot force this kind of thing on Sempai. I want him to remember me as his underclassman and friend, not as a something so disgusting." As I talked, I found that I didn't have any hesitation about this way. Before I had been afraid to die, but for now I could welcome death with a smile if it would mean that Sempai wouldn't have to see me become a bad person. I looked at Rider who was staring with quiet intensity at me. After a few seconds, she sighed.
"Very well Sakura. What do you want me to do?" I could feel that she wasn't happy seeing me accepting death while being powerless to stop it but I was still her master and even then she wanted to know what I would order her to do. Even so close to death, such loyalty warmed my heart. I smiled at my devoted servant.
"I want to protect my most important persons. Nee-san doesn't need help as she still has a servant, but Sempai lost his and once I die, you won't have a master anymore and you will disappear. To prevent that, I would like for you to make a contract with Sempai to become his servant. If it's you, I know I can safely place Sempai in your care. And I know Sempai will be a thoughtful master for you, even if I think he'll be stubborn to deal with." I couldn't help but giggle a bit at the mental picture of the future interactions between the cold and collected Rider and the stubborn charge-ahead Shirou. Rider looked at me quietly, pondering at the situation.
"Will you use your last Command Sigil for this order, Sakura? Else, I'll do anything I can to keep you alive." The tone was still soft, but there was the same firmness as the mountains. I sighed. Rider could be very stubborn as well. Sempai and she had definitely more in common that what could be seen at first sight. I gathered my will on my last Command Spell, making it glow with a red light.
"By the power of my Command Spell, I ask of you: Let me die peacefully and after my death, make a contract with Emiya Shirou." I felt a sharp pain in my right hand when the sigil fainted, and I felt the magical energy settle around Rider, compelling her to obey my command. "Please protect him and treat him as you would me, Rider" She gazed at me, deep in thoughts.
"As you ordered me, I'll make a contract with Emiya Shirou in case you would die, but how I'll be with him depends on how he acts. I won't give my respect and devotion beyond that of a Servant to someone unworthy." Her answer made me giggle a bit. Rider could be quite dishonest with her feeling sometimes.
"What is so funny, Sakura?" Rider seemed to be mad now, even though her demeanor was still quiet and emotionless.
"Fufufu, nothing … But you know you have an interest in him. After all, he thanked you when he didn't have to, and the way he endured your beating today made you have at least a grudging respect for him, don't you? Well unless you still harbor a grudge against him for the wound Saber did to you."
"I don't. To have a grudge against someone for that would be foolish and unpractical. Well, I'll see how it goes. Anyway …. Sakura?" Suddenly, the pain which had been numbed until then came back with a vengeance. It was as white hot knives were stabbed in my spine, heart, lungs, stomach and brain. Even though my pain threshold was very high, the suddenness of it sent me to my knees. I could feel Rider take me in her arms and take me back inside the church to lay me in the bed but I know it would be futile. The stress of materializing my Servant coupled with the using of a Command Spell was more that I could endure with my weakened body. I could feel the worm crest inside of me trying to get the most magic from me and could feel the panic that run through it when it saw that it wouldn't be enough to maintain its existence. I could feel the irony that it would be my grandfather prized tool which would kill a part of him. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be enough to take him to the grave with me. When the worm tried to flee from my body, I gathered what was left of me to keep it trapped inside me. Through the pain, I could hear my voice, almost as if it was somebody else speaking.
"Fufufu, it wouldn't do to flee now Grandfather. After all, you said yourself you would be with me until death."
Thinking a last time of my important persons, I could feel a smile stretch my lips. After a last picture of Sempai's smiling face, I knew no more.
As Rider ran with all the speed she could muster she could feel the unnaturally burning body of her Master. Her senses which were way more attuned than a human to the ambient magic felt something foul trying to get from Sakura's body, making her stop, ready to kill whatever it was. At this moment the girl in her arms tensed and the foul presence seemed to be restrained. A voice sweet as honey could be heard.
"Fufufu, it wouldn't do to flee now Grandfather. After all, you said yourself you would be with me until death." It amazed Rider that the pain Sakura was obviously in wasn't discernable in her voice. Glancing down, Rider saw the most beautiful smile she had ever seen on the quiet girl's face before she went totally still in her arms, the smile still there.
For a few seconds, the black clothed Servant stood there, frozen, until she felt a sharp pain in her hand and a big drain on her magical reserves, which hammered down the fact that the Servant Rider didn't have an official Master anymore in this Holy Grail War. Even though the drain was severe, Rider had an almost full reserve and the amount of mana she had was quite high so she wasn't worried about vanishing soon. At a more moderate pace, she went back to the room and put Sakura on the bed, with her hand joined, as if she was merely sleeping. Seeing the peaceful face, Rider felt a tear stream on her cheek before she swept it. She bowed a last time before the girl who had been her Master for a few months and turned back into spirit form, vanishing as if she was never there.
Interlude out
I ran all the way back to the church, without even feeling the heavy rain falling on me. When I arrived in front of the dark building, I felt a chill going through my spine. Shrugging it off, I took a deep breath before pushing the heavy doors open.
"Welcome back Emiya-kun. I hope that a bit of thinking made you see what you had to do." Tohsaka's voice greeted me as soon as I came in. Like me, she was soaked by the rain, but she still looked every bit the magus she was. Even though her voice sounded disinterested, her narrowed eyes and the gripping hand on her hip showed me that she was angry. But Tohsaka wasn't the only magus in this church. Taking a deep breath, I schooled my emotions and locked my narrowed eyes to hers.
"Yes Tohsaka, I know that. Better than most, some would say." I closed my eyes, thinking of what Ilya told me and the new resolve I had found.
"So you know that we have to …" She started, walking to the backdoor of the chapel.
"But Sakura hasn't done anything wrong yet." I interrupt her, stopping her dead in her tracks.
"What are you …" She was looking at me with a stoned face, no emotion whatsoever in her azure eyes. That was fine; I must have done the same.
"Sakura hasn't done anything wrong yet. As I see it, killing her now would be murder and I can't condone that. If you are still determined to kill Sakura, I'll have to stop you, Tohsaka." My voice was like steel, without any inflexion to it.
"Are you insane, Emiya-kun? You know that Sakura is a time-bomb which could go off anytime now. As Fuyuki Supervisor, it is my duty to prevent magecraft to be exposed to mundane people. Furthermore, if she went crazy like today again, she could kill every people in this town easily. Are you willing to risk so many lives?" I couldn't find a fault in her words. Obviously, it would be the best solution to make sure the most people would be saved. If it was anybody else, I would have wholeheartedly agreed with her.
'I'm glad you didn't become like Kiritsugu.'
But I had already decided that I would save my loved ones first. My father was right: a Hero had to be selfish. I was being selfish and decided I would favor Sakura over her potential victims.
Before I could answer Tohsaka I saw the priest coming back from the chapel behind the church and walking toward us.
"How is Sakura?"
"How is she doing?"
Huh, we talked with an eerie synchronization. Anger forgotten for a moment, we locked gaze before turning back to the priest, who had a slightly amused expression, even though his eyes were grim.
"My, my, I can't decide if you have a good or bad relationship." There was a hint of sarcasm in his even tone.
"Sh-sh-shut up, you fake priest, I don't want to hear that from you. Besides, how did the operation go?" At those words, the priest's amused expression vanished instantly, replaced by a dark one. He grimaced a bit.
"I couldn't save her." Five words. Only five words, but they stopped my heart and mind more efficiently than any weapon could have done.
"W-what did you say?" I had to force my throat to swallow, as my mouth had gone dry.
"I couldn't save her. I could remove a bit of the worm crest, but even if I had sacrificed very bit of my Magical Crest I couldn't have removed enough of it to make her be even remotely functional. The worm was so melded with her nerves that removing it would have paralyzed her entire body at best, and outright killing her by heart failure at worst. She regained consciousness for a few moments, and asked me to let her die peacefully. Personally, I think it was the best for her, seeing how her body would have behaved even if I could have removed more of the worm. She didn't want to become a monster so she asked me to let her die as a human."
I was numb. I stood there, frozen inside. I couldn't even bring my mind to work beyond repeating those two words. 'She died' 'She died' 'She died' 'She died' 'She died'…
"So, she died just because of this worm crest? Normally, such a familiar shouldn't be able to kill a magus as potentially powerful as Sakura." Unlike me, it seemed that Tohsaka could still think and process information. It must be the difference between a genius magus and a third-rate one like me.
"As expected of you, Rin. You're right of course. If it was only the usual worm crest, it wouldn't have been so bad. With training, Matou Sakura could have learned to seal it and it wouldn't have bothered her further. This one, however, was special. It seems its goal was to drain Sakura's circuits of magical energy if an appropriate stimulus was applied. This level of bug magecraft could only have been done by Matou Zouken. Besides the worm crest, there was something even worse. It seems that Matou Zouken wanted to have insurance if there was to be another Holy Grail War. He implanted a fragment of the Holy Grail from the last war in her, making her for all instance and purpose the receptacle for this Holy Grail, not unlike the Einzbern homunculus."
Numbness was replaced by red hot fury in my mind. So Sakura had been used as a receptacle for some bug by this Old man and he corrupted her further by putting some piece of what had provoked the fire ten years ago. But what did Kotomine mean while saying that Sakura was the receptacle of the Grail?
"Kotomine, what is the Holy Grail really? I thought that it was a holy artifact, like a cup or something. How could Sakura or Ilya be the receptacle?"
"Historically you would be right, Emiya Shirou. At first, the Holy Grail was the cup from which the Christ drank at his last meal and was believed to give his owner eternal life. But the Holy Grail we're talking about is another matter. Its goal would be to open the gate to the Root of existence: Akasha. To attain this goal you would need an amount of magical energy which could be considered infinite by human standards. Such an amount could never be contained in a mere physical shell so the master alchemists, the Einzbern made some kind of homunculus which could take in all this magical energy, often at the cost of having very short lives, and often some genetics diseases."
So this disgusting old man had totally desecrated an innocent girl just to get this retched thing. Even though it was to be expected from a magus, it disgusted me and made me glad I was considered a third-rate one. As cold-blooded I could become if it was needed, I could never use someone as an experiment. Still, one thing was obvious: Matou Zouken was solely to blame for Sakura's death. Zouken and this thrice damned Holy Grail, which was Holy in name only. They had killed my Servant and now, my beloved Sakura. Who would be next? As I thought about what the priest said, only one people would fit the bill. They would go after Ilya next. If they were going after another of my loved ones I would…
"Oh. What a scary face you are making there, Emiya Shirou." The priest's voice interrupted my thoughts but the mere sound of his voice was grating my nerves. It was like he was delighted by our reactions. I got a fleeting urge to punch his face but two things stopped me. First, I'm sure he would be able to stop me easily if I was to attack him. Secondly, if I had time to fight with this excuse for a priest, I could use this time to think about a plan to kill Zouken and destroy the Holy Grail ritual.
"Well it doesn't matter. Now that the Black Grail contained within Matou Sakura is gone, the Holy Grail war should go back to normal. What will you do, Emiya Shirou? Rin will obviously fight as she still has her Servant, but you are alone." The priest's question was valid and if it was anybody else, I'm sure it would be out of concern, but I still could feel the delighted tone of his voice, like he was finding the whole thing amusing. Anyway, my mind was set so it was a useless question.
"Isn't it obvious? I agreed to fight to stop senseless slaughter and this thing, with the benediction of a disgusting vampire killed what I would be fighting for. I'll fight for this retched abomination, and once I get it, I'll destroy it with my own hands." I turned to Tohsaka, who at first had been shell shocked by Sakura's death, but now was looking at me with an unreadable expression. "What will you do Tohsaka? Will you help me finish this senseless war?"
Tohsaka seemed a bit taken aback by my question, but quickly shed all emotions from her face and looked at me with the cold eyes of a magus ready to kill.
"As a Tohsaka, supervisor of Fuyuki land and a magus, the death of Matou Sakura was necessary. She chose to end her life herself and for that she has my respect. My apologies Emiya-san, but from what you have said, I'm afraid our goals don't coincide anymore. The alliance between the Tohsaka and Matou prevent me from attacking Matou Zouken and even so I wouldn't do it. Furthermore, I don't intend to let you destroy the Holy Grail, which would bring huge progress to the searching about the Root. In respect for our alliance, I'll let you go peacefully tonight, but the next time we meet, we will be enemies." Even though her words were not unexpected, I still hoped that she would side with me. Surprisingly the use of the suffix "-san" after my name hurt me a bit as it was severing any bond we could have shared but I was still a magus, even if only a third-rate. If it was how she intended to be, I would go my way without turning back.
"Very well Tohsaka-san." Oddly, I saw her flinch a bit at my calling of her. "As you have made your position clear, I won't try to convince you. Even though I really don't want to fight you, if you're willing to get in my way, I'll have to destroy you." I sighed a bit and then bowed deeply. "Although it only lasted a day, I would like to thank you for accepting being my ally, even though I didn't have anything to offer you. I wish you good luck, Tohsaka."
I turned away without acknowledging anybody further, but as I close the church's heavy doors behind me, I heard a faint "Good luck and farewell, Shirou".
As I left the church behind, I came across a red-clothed Servant with white hair. For a few moments, it was as if he would say something, but then he turned his head away and disappeared in spirit form. I shook my head and went on my way back home. I didn't seem to feel and process anything, as if my mind was totally disconnected from this world.
As I pushed the door open and looked at the familiar hallway, I felt the emptiness slowly flow away but it wasn't till I got to the living room, and more particularly the dark and empty kitchen that it suddenly fell on me that I would never see Sakura again. Never see her proud smile as she finished making a difficult meal, happy smile as we all ate together; never hear her happily banter with Fuji-nee about the archery club. There would never be a future where I would be together with her.
"Ugh …" I could hear a whimper coming from close, and got startled when I found it came from my throat. I could feel the warmth of my tears streaming on my cheeks and just like that, it was as a dam had broken. I fell on my knees, sobbing, and each sob was like a stab to my heart. I suddenly got the urge to go away from the silent house.
I went to the shed, but even there memories of Sakura waking me up, a soft smile on her lips assailed me, sending me again on my knees. But below the sorrow, I started to feel another emotion: white-hot fury cursed through me. I had been quite angry and upset before, but the anger I felt then was dwarfed by the pure rage I was feeling right now. With the rage came a feeling I was more familiar with: frustration. Frustration from doing nothing, from not having the skills or power to do anything.
"Damn it!" Damn it! ." I started to swear, punctuating each one with a punch to the ground.
"Damn it all!" Unknowingly Reinforcing my fist, I made the ground crack with my last punch.
"I'm surprised. To be upset to the point of losing control of your magecraft and not noticing my presence even though I didn't even try to conceal it. It seems to me that Sakura's feelings weren't as unrequited as she thought, were they Emiya Shirou?"
The voice was without a doubt female and familiar. Even though the soft tone was still her unusual mix of sultriness and monotone, I could hear a hint of grief in it. Standing on my feet I turned to the Girl who definitely shouldn't be there. As I looked at the purple-haired Servant, I couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of every female Servant I had met. Saber had had the feeling of a Holy woman, and her dignity as a swordsman had added to her natural beauty. Caster, even if I had only met her twice was beautiful as well, with her pointy ears, giving her an elfin appearance, and her face had been more than beautiful to look at when she wasn't smiling in a wicked way. The Servant I had in front of me was very different from both of the others. First of all, her outfit was something that seemed to have been thought to both ensnare men and make her move without any limitations. She had a feline grace when walking but could have a snake-like agility and speed when fighting. Her face was half hidden by a leather blindfold, but what was shown looked like a doll face, which was matched by her stoic and cold personality.
Shaking my head from any distracting thoughts, I focused on the black-clothed servant, which was waiting patiently in front of the shed.
"Rider… How can you still be in this world? I thought Servant who lost their Master would disappear shortly after." I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest as I thought again about Sakura's death and I could see a slight wince in the normally stoic Servant who turned her head a bit away from me. It confirmed what I thought: that Rider had a deep respect for Sakura. I nodded my head briefly in apology. After shaking her head a bit, the purple-haired Servant looked back at me.
"Even though it isn't at the level of an Archer class, the Rider is often a lone warrior running across the battlefield. As so, the Rider class has a limited Independent Action skill. With it, I can stay in this world for about a day without a Master if I save my mana. Though I must say that I'm surprised you're asking me how I'm here rather than why."
Well when she said it like that, it made sense I should have asked why she was there first but I think I could be forgiven for not being in the best of state to think things through.
"Very well Rider, why are you here? As you don't have much time before disappearing, I would have thought you would be looking for a new Master to stay in this world if you wanted to. Or did you have any particular business at my home?"
Even though I didn't think I had anything of interest for Rider it was the only thing which made sense concerning her presence in my backyard. Or maybe she had decided it was my fault Sakura died and decided to tie loose ends before disappearing. I tried to reassure myself by telling me that if it was the case, she could have killed me without me even noticing her presence.
"Actually it is a bit of both. As you were once a Master, I thought it would be more beneficial if I was to make a contract with you, instead of a perfect stranger who would know even less about the situation than you."
Even though I acknowledged it, it was still painful to be constantly reminded that you were quite useless. Even more when it was said in an "as-a-matter-of-facts" tone of voice like Rider's. But even through her words, I could feel some … reluctance… to be in a new contract. I couldn't really make sense of it so I did the obvious thing.
"Rider, do you want to become my Servant?" I asked her straight, in a stone cold, dead serious voice. The black Servant was startled for a few moments and then sighed.
"To be truthful, my first choice would have been to just let myself disappear. I don't have an interest in the Holy Grail and the only reason for my presence in this war has just gone away. However, Sakura wanted me to protect you as you didn't have a Servant anymore and used her last Command Spell to order me to make a contract with you. Normally, the order would be absolute but as she died and her order wasn't only up to me, it is you that have the last word here. If you want me to be your Servant, I'll have to make a contract with you. If you don't, I'll be able to do whatever I want."
"And what do you want to do? I won't lie to you: I don't have any interest whatsoever in the Holy Grail but I will fight in this war till I win or die to stop a disaster from happening to the people I love. I couldn't save Sakura, but I don't want to lose anybody else because I was too depressed to stand up. Honestly, a Servant as powerful as you would be a great help. However, even if you wanted to become my Servant, there are a few things you should know. The first one is that I'm a failure as a magus. I can only do a few spells correctly, and as far as magical reserves go, I'm quite pathetic. I could only barely give any mana to Saber. That's why she had to sleep and eat a lot to preserve her energy. If you were to be contracted to me, I don't know if you would be as powerful as you are now or if you would be as limited as you were when under the command of Shinji. The other issue is that I won't fight Berserker's Master. She helped me and I owe her for now so I don't want to make her my enemy. Hmmm I think that's all I can think for now."
After I stopped talking, Rider took a thinking pose, with arms crossed on her chest, with her hand on her mouth.
"Hmmm you are a surprising person, Emiya Shirou. First of all you didn't decide to bind me against my will then never once did you make any attempt to convince me I should make a contract with you. Very well, in the order, I already told you I didn't have an interest in the Holy Grail. Even if I got it, it couldn't grant the wish I have. You and I are alike in the will to protect those we are close of, even though I think you're too trusting and I don't know if you could really kill someone with your hands to accomplish your goal. Even so, it isn't anything that cannot be corrected with time. As for your skills as a magus, while you truly have quite a low reserve of magical energy, I could see that you have twenty-seven magical circuits in your body. Even though most of them are dormant, it seems they are of good quality so you don't have to worry about the mana transfer. After you learn how to use your circuits, it should be more than enough for me to be at a good fighting level. As for Berserker's Master, it would be suicidal for me to fight her Servant anyway so I won't stop you to seek her as long as it doesn't endanger you."
Wow, she said all of that in a single sentence, without even breathing once, and still in this emotionless tone of voice. Some would say it was quite impressive, but I focused on something she said about my magical circuits.
"Hold on Rider. How come you can say I have magic circuits in my body when I have to use my nerves as a makeshift magical circuit each time I use magecraft?"
Normal human rarely have a magical circuit, let alone more than one and when they have one, it is often a very weak one. That is why I had to artificially create a magical circuit each and every time I wanted to cast a spell. So what was Rider talking about?
"Hmmm that would explain how used to pain you are. If you truly make a new circuit each time you use a spell, you must truly have a will of steel. Nearly all of the magi use some kind of a trigger to switch their circuits on and off. All of your circuits bar one are dormant so I don't think you ever used them."
"How come you can tell I have all those circuits? I never felt them and still you could they were there. Maybe you were wrong."
At this point, I was more arguing for the sake of arguing than for any other reason. If Rider was right, it would be a huge boost in my abilities. Even though my magical reserve would still be ridiculously small, by using constantly every circuit in my body, I could increase it faster and use my spells with more power.
"You forget my abilities, Emiya Shirou. Even though my Mystic Eyes are the one of petrifaction, the powerful ones can do other things, such as seeing the magic pattern in a body. But we digressed. Back to the point, what will you decide, Emiya Shirou?"
True, it wasn't the time to be distracted. Rider had only a limited time before disappearing so it was best to make my decision quickly. Looking her in the eyes, or what would be her eyes if she didn't have a blindfold, I had to ask a last question.
"If you were in exactly the same situation, but without the Command Spell, would you have come to me as well?"
It was an important question for me. I had to make sure that she would be willing to be with me. I didn't want her to stay only by duty and because of an order. We would have to work together so I wanted to be sure we could trust each other, and forcing her to make a contract with me would make me the same as Shinji, maybe worse. The mere thought of it made me shudder.
"At first no, I wouldn't have. In many ways, Sakura was my ideal master so I didn't see any interest in looking for another. However, you are someone interesting, Emiya Shirou. You seemingly have no regards for your well-being but can be selfish if needed, you seem to be a very kind person, but you have steel in you. I told you, as far as Master goes, I could do way worse than you. At the very least, your will and moral code is deserving of respect. That you seem to be willing to fight and that you have some potential doesn't hurt either."
Maybe Rider was shaken by the loss of her Master (I was trying my best not to think about Sakura, else I would break down again), or she was just very shy the last time we met at the Ryuudou Temple, but she talked a lot tonight. Maybe it was a sign that she trusted me. Still she had made her mind, so it was time to make mine as well.
"Very well, Rider. If you are willing, it would be my honor if you would make a contract with me."
Err even though I said that I didn't know if it would work simply like that or if there was a need for a summoning ritual. I wasn't even sure I could do the ritual if needed.
"There is a summoning ritual needed to seal our contract, but don't worry: I know the incantation, and the mana needed isn't a problem as the summoning uses the Grail's energy." Seemingly reading my mind, Rider reassured me. She then told me the aria needed for the summoning ritual and as I memorized it, drew a magical circle on the ground in the shed. I absently noticed that she used the exact same place where Saber came from one week ago. Finished with her work, Rider motioned for me to come closer.
"The summoning circle isn't really necessary as I am already summoned in this world, but it would improve your focus and help making sure everything is going as it should. Now you can tell the incantation while focusing your magical energy on the circle."
"Hmmm is there any risk of summoning another Heroic Spirit with the ritual?"
It wouldn't be good if, instead of making a contract with Rider, I was to summon another Heroic Spirit. Rider looked at me with a blanker look than usual, before a flicker of a smile danced on her lips.
"It seems I will have to instruct you a bit in magecraft as well, Emiya Shirou. You don't have to worry; another Heroic Spirit won't be summoned. The Grail already filled every spot. Besides, this summoning circle is specifically made for me."
Blushing a bit at the sight of her smile, which disappeared as quickly as it appeared, I stepped in front of the circle and took a deep breath, focusing on my internal self.
"Trace On.
I announce,
Your body shall be under my will, while my fate lies in your sword
In accordance with the resort of the Holy Grail, if you abide by this rule you shall answer
I swear I will be all that is good in this eternal world
I swear that I will be the vanquisher of all evil in this eternal world
You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, come forth from this circle of constraint
Guardian of the Balance!"
"I, the Servant who answer to the Class of the Rider, thereby pledge my loyalty to you, and accept you as my Master, Emiya Shirou. Our contract is now sealed."
As Rider accepted the contract, I felt a sharp pain on my left hand. As I looked down, I saw the familiar shape of the three Command Spells.
"Huh, they are exactly the same as they were when I was Saber's Master."
"Yes, the Command Spells are suited to the bearer so they will be the same, whatever Servant you summon. I can also tell you that the mana flow is enough for me to use the great majority of my abilities without penalties. I should have about eighty-five percents of the full power I wielded with Sa- my first Master. However, I think it would be wise not to use my Noble Phantasm unless as a last resort for now." It seemed I wasn't the only one doing their best not to think about Sakura. Instead I forced my attention on what she said and looked her status in my mind. Truly she had lost some of her power (a bit of strength and magical energy mostly, but not too much) and her Noble phantasm would be very draining to use, but she had gained a few ranks in luck much to my surprise. Suddenly, everything that happened during the day got back to me and I collapsed on my knees.
"Shirou, what happened, are you okay?" Rider was at my side in an instant. She helped me back on my feet and I could stand, if a bit shakily.
"Don't worry I'm just physically and magically exhausted. It seems my wound has started to bleed again as well." The bandage around my hand had become stained red with blood. "I should be better tomorrow in the morning. More importantly, I remember Saber needed to get food and to sleep to use less magical energy. What about you?"
"You don't have to worry about me. You are definitely providing me with magical energy so I won't need any food, even if I can still eat. I won't need to sleep either, as I can just go into Spirit Form. However, as soon as you are well enough, we'll have to discuss some things about our plan of action. For now, though, you will have to rest."
Even though I wanted to protest and try to get to the point immediately, I couldn't deny I felt dead on my feet. I let Rider take me to my room and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Fire was everywhere. It was a while since I had dreamed of the fire which had destroyed my neighborhood, but this fire felt different. It wasn't burning me for once. Suddenly, the fire disappeared, letting behind the strangest landscape I had ever seen. Dry red ground was spreading as far as I could see. The air was heavy with dust, giving a reddish color to everything. On the horizon was the only visible source of light, an ever distant dawn. Although there was no other source of light, everything was in clear details. I took it in all in a second, before focusing my attention to the most amazing things I ever saw. Swords. Countless swords. I was completely surrounded by sharp steel. The vision gave me both a deep elation, as if I got back a piece of me I never knew I lacked, and a sense of wrongness, as if I lost something else to get this part back.
With those final mixed feelings, the world vanished and I only knew darkness.
Servant Status
Class: Rider
Name: Medusa
Sex: Female
Height/Weight: 172cm 57kg
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Strenght: C+ Magical Energy: B
Endurance: E+ Luck: D+
Agility: B+ Noble Phantasm: A+
Class Skills:
Magical resistance: B: Cancel any magic requiring less than three verses. Very difficult to harm even with great or ritual magic.
Riding: A+ Ability to ride anything, even holy beasts and demons, with the exception of dragons.
Skills:
Mystic Eyes: A+: Mystic eyes of petrification. Petrifies anybody with magical resistance lesser than C
Independant Action: C. Ability to act without the order of a Master. With C rank, ability to last in the world for one day without a Master
Superhuman strenght: B: As a demon, increase the strenght by one rank when activated. The lenght of activation depends of the rank.
Divinity: E- : Medusa was of goddess descent but it degenerated when she was transformed into a demon.
Noble Phantasm:
Breaker Gorgone: C, support: Seal Rider's Mystic Eyes.
Bellerophon: A+, anti-army: Increase all abilities by a rank and speed by factor of ten. Use the powerful charge of a Pegasus.
Bloodfort Andromeda: B, anti-army: A bounded field which will dissolve anybody inside to absorb magical energy from the soul and blood.
AN: Here I am, first chapter published =) I have some plan of how I want my story to go, but with eaxms and Stage reports to finish, I'm afraid I won't be able to update regularly. Anyway, I would be grateful for any reviews, even flames, as long as they are useful to improve my writing and the story. Thanks a lot for reading this chapter and I'll try to update as soon as possible.
AN2: Following Blinded in a bolthole's review, I have changed Rider's stats to be a fair middle between her stats when she's under Shinji's command and when she's under Sakura's control. Thanks a lot to those who have reviewed ! Again I'll try my best to upload the second chapter as soon as possible =)