A TIME CAPSULE
Sometime during spring vacation, Sirius found Lily.
She was sixteen years old then, and so was he. They were the only students in Gryffindor who had stayed at school for the holidays, so it was no surprise she knew who he was before she turned around.
"Hello, Black."
"Hey, Evans." He squatted beside her in the corner of the common room, looking with intrigue at her project. "What are you doing?"
It was a small cardboard tube about eight inches in diameter and a foot long. She had apparently padded the inside with cotton.
"It's a time capsule," she explained. "I know that sounds weird, but I really felt like making one. And what better year than our fifth? We're on top of things now, just doing our OWLs..." she smiled. "Sorry, did I go on a tangent?"
"Not really." He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "No, not really."
"It's really a very interesting project, though," Lily said, unsure. "Have you... have you ever made one? As a kid?"
He stared back at her with stoic grey eyes. "I buried my brother's owl, if that counts."
"I'm sorry to hear it died."
"No, it was fine once he dug it up."
Lily examined his expression to see if he was joking. He wasn't.
"Sirius Black, you're a curious person."
That was Lily: blunt.
"Thank you," he said. "I - er - you're a curious person, too. I guess. Is that a compliment?"
She laughed merrily. "Yes! Well, it is now that you've returned the sentiment."
Sirius blinked, and almost smiled.
He was a curious person. Dressed in a red turtleneck and thin grey jeans, he looked oddly put-together. He was too lean for his age, and his legs were a little too long for his torso. Brown hair - it was dark, but he allowed no one to call it black - swept across his forehead and curled down below his ears.
He was artistic, he was reclusive, and he was edgy.
And now he was casually asking about Lily's little project, which made no sense at all.
Lily was warm, outgoing, and honest; she dressed nicely in the right fashion, got excellent grades in school, and had lots of "projects": things to do, people to help get back on their feet. She had auburn hair to her shoulders, and almond-shaped eyes that were both unusual and hard to draw away from.
They were the two most unlikely people to talk.
"What are you going to put in it?" Sirius wanted to know, ignoring her comment. He was used to it by now, being observed. And the hell if he didn't do a little observing himself.
"Oh, things," she said, picking up the tube and standing. He stood too. "Letters and pictures and some odds and ends - anything that really depicts my every day life, you know?" She smiled. "But it won't be done for a while. I have to age-proof everything pick just the right items."
Sirius attempted to smile back - it turned into more of a grimace, however that happened, so he just opted to wipe his expression clean. "If you ever need - er - need help..." he trailed off suggestively.
"Huh?" Lily blinked. "Oh! You, help me? Sure, that would be great!"
Great, he thought. He had become another of her projects, another lonely heart to rehabilitate.
Oh, well. Maybe he could use some rehabilitation.
"I don't know if this is age-proof," she admitted, holding up a stack of paper. "I just bought it, and, well, you draw, right?"
He looked up from (what incidentally turned out to be) his sketchbook and stared at her. "Yes, but that doesn't make me an all-knowing guru of paper."
"Er - I'm sorry," she said, settling on the sofa beside him. "I just thought - wow, you probably think I'm really stupid."
"A little," he said, taking the paper from her. It was bound in plastic, and the front read, Acid-free. "If it's acid-free, it's probably fine."
"Oh."
He handed it back to her nonchalantly. "Better start thinking of things to write, I guess."
"I guess." Lily leaned in over Sirius's shoulder, not-so-subtly trying to peek at his book. He growled, and she leaned away. "Sorry."
"Just ask," he said, ripping out the page. He handed it to her. "Here."
"It's a boat," she said.
He lay against the armrest, stretching out - his legs went across Lily's lap, but for some reason she didn't mind. "Technically, it's a ship," he yawned. "But yeah."
"Do you draw boats a lot?"
"All the time when I'm bored. I draw a boat during one of our conversations, I'm probably bored of you. But just rough drafts. I can never get past the sketch without messing up."
"I like it," she said. "You should color it."
"What the point?" He took it back. "Look at this. Everything's crooked, and even if I put a thousand different colors into this drawing, it would still only turn out brown."
"I don't get it," Lily said.
"It's an artist thing, I guess." He folded the sketch, eyes brimming with an emotion that could only be described as tender amusement.
"Well, can I color it?"
"If you want." She took it back, and he laughed a little.
"Good luck."
Vacation ended the next Monday, but somehow Lily found Sirius amidst the chattering students between second and third period.
"Want to meet me in the library?" she asked as they battled their way through the crowded corridors. He gave her a sidelong glance.
"What for?"
"To work on the time capsule. You said you wanted to help."
"You're still doing that? I thought you'd be finished by now." His bag slid off his shoulder and quills, ink bottles, and sweets scattered everywhere as the hall started to clear. He cursed and stooped over, picking them up.
"It's a very special time capsule," she said loudly as she picked up a bottle of red ink and handed it to him. "I probably won't finish until summer."
"You're kidding."
"I have to find the right items, I said."
He shrugged. "What time in the library, then?"
"I mean -" Lily blushed. "Er - if you want to be with your friends or something that's okay..."
"It's fine," he said flatly. "What time?"
"Is four alright?"
"Yeah." And they went their separate ways, both wondering what the hell just happened.
Sirius strolled into the library at 4:23 PM, whistling a jazz tune no one but he knew. In ond hand he held a slip of paper; in the other, a turkey sandwich.
"You're late," said Lily mournfully as he slid into a seat across from her.
"Oh, yeah, I was serving detention with James." He shrugged.
"Why do you have a sandwich?" Lily shot a fearful look towards Madam Pince, the librarian.
"Nabbed it from the kitchens 'cause I was hungry."
"Food's not allowed in here, though," she whispered.
He shrugged again. "I'm a growing boy," he said through a mouthful of turkey.
"Oh, well." Lily shifted in her seat, then reached into her bag for a sheet of paper. "Hey, what's that in your other hand?"
"Address," he mumbled.
"An address?"
"Yeah, some girl gave it to me in the hallway." He tossed it on the table nonchalantly. "I was going to give it to James so we could send her some joke mail, but you cna confiscate it if you want. Being a Prefect and all."
Lily shook her head, smiling. "You really do whatever you want, don't you? But I can't believe a girl would give you her address out of the blue."
"It happens all the time," Sirius said boredly. "I must have - oh, ten or twelve of 'em. And yes. Yes, I do."
She just kept shaking her head and pushed the address back across the table. "Keep it."
"So." He retrieved the paper, stuffed it in his pocket, and looked her earnestly. "Really. How can I help?"
"Well, I had a little idea," Lily said, a sunny grin across her face. "I'm so excited! Basically, I want to get some photographs of my life in general and put them in here." She reached into her bag and pulled out a camera. "That's where you come in!"
"If you want me to follow you around with that camera, I do have other things to do." Sirius stared at her as he so often did. "Like go to class."
"What a buzzkill." Lily drooped, then brightened again. "Hey, just snap pictures of me when you see me. In the hallway, or breakfast, in Hogsmeade, whatever."
"What exactly are you planning to do with a time capsule full of yourself?"
"I have my reasons," she said mysteriously. "Reasons you may not understand, but reasons. By the way," she added, "don't tell me you can't work a muggle camera, because I know you've done it before."
"Oh?" He accepted the little camera, turning it over in his hands. Yes, it was a cheap point-and-shoot, but it would serve its purpose.
"Yes. I have sources."
"Kind of like your reasons?"
"Exactly like my reasons," she consented. "So stop taking reference pictures of onions and notebooks and other random things, and take pictures of me."
"I demand to know how you found out about the onion photos," he replied, not sounding very demanding. Actually, he sounded bored again, which was apparently his favorite emotion.
Lily just smiled and rested her elbows on the table, folding her hands under her chin.
There was a beat of silence.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sirius crossed his arms.
"Just thinking."
"About what?" he asked warily.
"A lot of things. Mostly..." she trailed off. "You're friends with James, right?"
"If you mean James Potter, he's my best friend." Sirius raised an eyebrow when she grinned. "Why the sudden interest?"
"No reason," she said cheerfully. "I just really dislike him, that's all!"
"I don't understand you at all," the boy replied, looking down at his Keds. He wiggled his toes. On the tips of his shoes were tiny drawings of penguins. "Why would you smile and talk about someone you dislike?"
"I knew you wouldn't get it," Lily sighed. "I don't know if it's worth a try."
"You can't exactly be surprised if you're going to be that cryptic."
"I just thought you might help me get a photo of him," she admitted. At Sirius's revolted look, she added, "I mean for the capsule! To preserve him as the person I so severely dislike!"
"You are strange," he complained. "But I'll do it. Why are you so popular?"
"Why aren't you more popular?" she wondered. "You're really nice to talk to."
"I am popular; I just don't have a lot of friends," he corrected. "It's because I don't like people."
"Don't you like me? And your other friends?"
"I don't like most people," he amended.
Other friends - so she considered them friends.
That was nice.
Every third weekend in the month was a Hogsmeade trip, something students (and sometimes teachers) made a huge fuss over. It was a rare chance to escape the confines of the castle and really relax for awhile, which Sirius loved.
Unfortunately, he didn't have his mother's permission to go.
Normally in this kind of situation, he would convince Remus to fake a signature on the permission slip. Remus, one of his few friends, was by no means brilliant or evne too cunning, but he happened to have rare, useful talents like excellent forgery, making noises that sounded oddly like angry garden gnomes, and turning into a wolf once a month. It was quite wonderful for Sirius, for whom any of these could come in handy one day.
But in this case, professors were beginning to wise up to the fact that for the past two years, Sirius hadn't been allowed by his parents to visit the village; and he doubted they'd be convinced this time.
That, and James had the Marauder's Map, so he couldn't safely sneak out of the castle.
So he stayed behind to tinker with the camera around his neck.
He was just ready to head out to the lake for a well-deserved swim when Lily burst through the portrait hole, fuming. She barely took notice of him as she threw herself down on an unoccupied pouf.
"Evans, what's got your panties in a twist?" he settled down next to her, pasting on a sly smile. Sirius was in a wicked mood today: if Remus, Peter, and Jamees were off having fun in Hogsmeade, then he could at least mess with Lily's mind a little.
"McGonagall won't let me go to Hogsmeade," she pouted. He snapped a picture. "Hey!"
"You told me to photograph you in all aspects of life," he said solemnly. "I am merely doing my duty to you, o Prefect of Gryffindor House."
She stucked out her tongue. Sirius snapped another picture.
"Stop it..!"
So, Evans..." he pulled the camera's cord away from his neck and set it down. "Tell me... why won't The Establishment let you go?"
"My dad forgot to sign my slip," she admitted. "It's the silliest thing. I meant to ask him about it, but I forgot."
"Ah." Sirius cast her a brilliant smile, something so unusual to Lily that her heart almost stopped. He patted her on the shoulder. "Hey, my mum 'forgot' mine, too... why didn't you just talk to Remus?"
"And have it forged?" she asked, horrified.
"Yeah."
"I'm a Prefect..."
"Which makes you twice as likely to get away with it." Another grin.
"Remus is a Prefect..."
"He also will do anything to make James and me happy." Sirius wiggled his toes and stared at the Penguins. They were so very entertaining, these doodles on his hsoes, that he couldn't help but look at them often. Sometimes he even said hello.
On a whim, he lifted the camera and snapped a photo of his feet. There, now his penguin-y Keds would be preserved forever.
"You're wasting my film," Lily chided, though she was secretly thinking, Letting me go to Hogsmeade would make you happy? No, he probably meant James.
"No worries, I've got more." Sirius laughed a little - a sharp, yelping kind of laugh. He was so entranced by the noise that he did it again for kicks; He didn't laugh often, so it was a new sound to him.
"Sirius," Lily said quietly (after a short silence), "I don't know what's up with you, but you're a hoot." She slid off the pouf onto the floor beside him, also looking at his shoes. "Really."
"I'm glad to be of service," he told her earnestly, and she laughed. "Now, how about you strike a pose - for the capsule, that is!"
Lily obeyed, flashing a wide smile at the camera while holding up "jazz hands". Another click of the camera, another moment stored away for later.
"Now maybe lean up against the sofa... turn your shoulders a little." Sirius took picture after picture, while Lily laughed and modeled.
"Last one," he said, biting his tongue as the redheaded girl turned her back to him and looked over her shoulder, trying to keep a straight face but barely succeeding. Click. "Okay."
"You're hilarious, Sirius," she told him, taking the camera out of his hands. She opened the film compartment and out popped a roll of film, which she tucked into her pocket quickly. "I'll have to get these to the dark room, but hey... refill that thing, okay?"
"Will do," he said, oddly elated. It was not like Sirius to be so playful when all he really did all day was ocmplain and try to outsmart other people. At least now he had something productive to do.
A sudden thought occured to him. "Hey, want to see something?"
"Sure, she replied, blinking. He grabbed his sleeve and rolled it up, presenting his forearm.
"Wow," Lily said. It was a tattoo: two dragons clashing in mid-air, their wings spread, fangs showing, and claws out for the battle. "Did it hurt?"
"Oh, lots," Sirius lied. "I almost pissed my pants. James was with me when I got it - he did piss his pants."
She laughed, and he felt strangely pleased. "I'm so afraid of needles; I'm glad I wasn't there to see that."
Sirius's eyes softened a little. "I'm going to get more someday. Maybe you can come with me."
"And watch you bleed? I think not," Lily joked.
"Suit yourself." He rolled his sleeve back down and grinned. "Don't tell McGonagall, okay? She'd kill me, or tell my mum, which is about the same thing."
"I swear on my time capsule," Lily promised, "though there isn't much of it to swear on et."
"I'll help with that," he said, winking. Though neither let it show, both felt a flutter at this.
How deep he was digging this hole...
Sirius sighed and glanced back at his arm. He'd purposely inscribed a tattoo over his left forearm so he could never take the Dark Mark, no matter what. Perhaps it was better to keep digging...
"I really like her," James said mournfully. "Her hair is just so - compatible with mine, you know? And she's so nice. Even to Snivellus, which makes no sense at all -"
"James, you sound like a girl," Sirius interrupted, lying on his stomach in bed. "Hair compatibility? Are you mad?"
It was nine o' clock, almost lights-out, and his best friend had been ranting about Lily for almost half an hour. It was really annoying, and for a reason he couldn't explain, Sirius felt... protective.
"You're lucky your friends with her," James added, ignoring the snide comment. "Do you get how lucky you are?"
"Yeah, yeha, I get it," Sirius moaned, though inwardly he was thinking, You don't get it at all...
"That's why you should use lamination," Sirius finished, holding up the newspaper clipping Lily had wanted to add to her capsule.
"Well, I don't know..." she trailed off. "How do you know all this stuff about time capsules, anyway?"
"Evans, it's common sense," he sighed. "Though I don't get why you'd want to save an article about..." he checked the paper he was holding. "...flower arrangement?"
"It's a popular art," she said defensively, "shared by both Muggles and wizards. I like it."
"That's not an art. Anyone could arrange a few flowers."
"Not true. It takes a lot of insight and hard work."
"Give me a few flowers, I'll arrange them," he said cheekily, a gleam in his eye. Lily just stuck out her tongue.
"Anyway, Evans, shouldn't you have finished this thing by now? How long does it take to toss a couple of your old things in a box?"
"A long time," the girl replied irately. "It's a very special box."
Sirius handed her the article, which she gratefully accepted. "You're using up all my time."
"Time, shmime," she uttered. "Time is money, and you've got enough of that anyhow."
"One can never have enough money," he told her wisely, raising a finger in the air 'thoughtfully'. "In fact, I bet you'd like some money right now."
"Not particularly, no."
"Pity," he said, tsking. "I was going to give you a couple Sickles if you said yes, but..."
"No, you weren't," Lily replied, rolling her eyes.
"Ah, you caught me. But I really do have a couple Sickles on me..." he began whistling merrily, gazing out the window. She blew a raspberry at him, not put off at all.
"Miss Evans, Mr. Black?" Both flung their heads up at Professor Binn's voice. He looked old and bored, as usual. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"
"Lily likes flower arrangement, sir," Sirius said innocently, maintaining a straight face. Almost immediately - as if that phrase contained a certain charm - the professor's expression melted into one of ecstasy.
"Ah, flower arrangement," he said dreamily, "such a true art..."
Lily's look of triumph was enough.
"How was I supposed to know Binns's life dream was to become a Herbology teacher?" Sirius complained. He was pacing back and forth beneath a beech tree by the lake, a favorite gathering for his friends.
"That does explain why he's so boring in History," Peter mused, scratching his scalp. "I mean, doesn't that say something to you? Didn't Professor Sprout originally want to be a History teacher?"
"Then why didn't they just switch?" James leaned against the tree and closed his eyes in content. He was a good-looking boy - not classically handsome like Sirius, but good-looking nevertheless. Black hair swept over his forehead, fluffing out in all directions. Together, he and Sirius made the "dream team", intelligent students with a sense of... spirit.
Peter shrugged. "Beats."
"This is so stupid," Sirius sighed, plopping down on the grass . "And now I still have to help her with her time capsule thing in..." he checked his watch. "An hour."
Remus growled from his place under the tree, not bothering to look up from his book. "How long are you three going to talk about this?"
"Sorry," James said, not sounding very sorry. "We will try to do our best in not distracting you from your evening read, Mr. Lupin."
"It's not an evening read, it's studying for the OWLs, you nimrod."
"Is nimrod an insult?" Sirius wondered out loud.
"But RJ, you never study." James was confused, or at least he appeared to be, his face scrunched up in thought. "All you do is eat, sleep, and listen to music."
Remus stuck out his tongue. "So? Don't call me RJ."
"Your mum calls you RJ."
"I hope you're not my mum."
"For all you know I may be, RJ!"
His eyelid twitched. "Really... call me RJ again. I'd love it."
"RJ." James didn't notice a change in the atmosphere, nor was he struck by lightning, so he decided Remus had no intention to carry through on his threat, and he visibly relaxed.
Much to the boy's (later) surprise, though, the phrase "I'm a Mum!" was slowly and silently knitting itself into the back of his sweater, in various bright colors.
Sirius gave Remus a high-five, happily basking in his friend's obliviousness. Oh, life was great.
"Hey, here comes Snape," Peter said suddenly, sitting straight up. Sure enough, the sixteen year-old Slytherin, a rather outcast boy with slick black hair and black, black eyes, was making his way quietly past the lake, doing his best to stay away from other students.
"Rad," James said loudly, scrambling to his feet. "OI! SNIVELLUS!"
Remus glanced at Sirius, who shrugged. He wasn't feelign up to involving himself today, and Remus wouldn't interfere without backup.
"What do you want, Potter?" Wands were out. Severus Snape's hand was shaking slightly, something which didn't go unnoticed.
"You okay, Sniv?" Sirius leaned back on his elbows. Severus took this for maliciousness and turned his wand on him, but it was too late; with a cry of "Expelliarmus!" it flew through the air and into a (grinning) James's hands.
"Hm," James said in false consideration. "What curse are you favoring today, boys?" He glanced at Remus, who didn't really want to reply.
"I..."
"Sirius?"
"Whatever takes your fancy." Sirius didn't reach for his own wand; instead he closed his eyes, bored of the whole situation. Torturing Snivellus was always amusing, but there were only so many buttons left to push before it became... routine.
"Ta -"
"Protego!" James's hex was barely out of his mouth when it bounced off a shield charm, useless.
In front of Severus stood Lily, wand out and a very, very angry look in her eyes.
"Evans?"
"JAMES POTTER!" she yelled as the Slytherin behind her quickly edged out of the scene. "How dare you?"
"It's not complicated," he replied loftily.
"You're making an arse of yourself," Sirius told him to no avail.
"Hexing another student! Ten points from Gryffindor!"
"Aw, Evans, don't be like that." James offered her a smile, which she didn't return.
"I'll be however I want to be, Potter." Lily was downright furious, and she wasn't icnredibly happy seeing Sirius with the object of her frustrations, if the expression on her face gave anything away. "I should take more points than that, considering you and your friends have a history of taunting other students."
Sirius shrank under her glare. He hadn't done anything, but one look like that made him feel like the lowest scum on earth. It was a little strange, since he recieved looks and much worse at home, adn he seemed to brush those off just fine.
"But the hex didn't even hit him! You can't punish me for that!"
"You sicken me," Lily bit out icily, turning her attention back to James. "Good-bye, Potter."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
Sirius crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway of the dark room, trying to stare Lily down. It didn't work well because she turned away, back to the various chemicals on the table.
"Close the door, would you? You're letting light in, and I need to take the film out of the canister."
"Sorry." The door swung shut, and they were plunged into complete darkness as Lily worked on the first batch of film. A fwe minutes passed before Sirius dared to move in beside her, clearing his throat.
"That's the second time you've apologised to me," she commented, not looking up. "What's up?"
"I just never realized how much it mattered to you. How we treat Snivellus, I mean." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "You should understand. I hate him."
Lily sighed and faced him, brushing a stream of hair from her eyes. "Why?"
"Did you know I was the one who got him to go to the Whomping Willow in third year?"
Her mouth fell open, and she was effectively distracted from the question. "You did that? Sirius, he could've died!"
"Yeah," he said shamelessly. "I know."
"And that doesn't strike your conscience at all? Are you really that heartless?"
Sirius shrugged, clouds forming in his flat grey eyes. There was so much troubling him right now, but he couldn't quite get it out: all that tumbled out of his mouth was, "Maybe I am. I don't know."
Her eyebrows drew together. "I just... geez. Maybe Potter isn't such a bad person after all, if he's cleaning up your mistakes."
"He's a great person," Sirius told her, unable to help himself. "Such a great person. I really love him."
"Oh," she said.
"Not like some people say," he added hastily. "No. He's like my brother."
"Oh."
"Yeah..." This conversation wasn't going well, he decided. It would probably be best if he kept it brief. "Well -"
"Sirius."
He locked gazes with her, hands fumbling around in his pockets as he tried to regain control of his tongue. "Yeah?"
Lily blinked. "You didn't tell me why you hate him."
"Because he reminds me of my brother," Sirius blurted before he could stop himself. It was something he'd wanted to tell someone for a very long time. "He's like my brother."
"Wait a sec," Lily said as her watched beeped. She turned back to the film. "You can light a candle now."
He obeyed, using his wand to ignite a few candles on the wall. Dim firelight danced off Lily's face as she said, "He's like your brother? How?"
"He's... Regulus is so enamored by the Dark Arts, you know... I just think it's... nevermind," he said lamely. She reached to the side and brushed her fingers across his left wrist, making the breath catch in his throat.
"I know," she admitted. "I get it, and I'm not just saying that because you're some battered child I want to bring to the light. You're my friend, and I think I know where you're coming from."
"This conversation is getting way too deep," he said weakly.
"Sorry. My fault. Philosophical Lily strikes again..."
"Hm."
There was silence for a few minutes, broken by nothing but the sound of water running from Lily's wand, washing out the chemicals in the developing tank. An odd smell rose up in the air, and Sirius wrinkled his nose.
They looked at everything but each other now, both too afraid to chance a peek at their companion, lest there be some kind of odd, unfortunate, strange misunderstanding.
"I'm not that political, anyway," Lily supplied to ease the quiet, rubbing the back of her neck as Sirius looked up at the various negatives hanging on the line. "Come on, let's finish up. I'll come back for them later." She started clipping up her own negative hastily, still not looking at him.
"Okay." He tried to crack a grin. "I really am sorry for earlier, though. Don't make me apologise again, because I don't like to."
"Deal."
Her hand was on the doorknob when he said, "Hey," and lifted her chin with both hands, kissing her.
"I'm so stupid!" Thud.
"No, you're not," Peter said soothingly.
"Yes, I am!" Thud.
"Just kissing a girl doesn't make you stupid," the boy tried again.
"But I enjoyed it!" Sirius howled, slamming his forehead into the wall again. Thud.
"Tell me exactly what happened." Peter settled cross-legged on his bed as an aggravated Sirius fell back on his, still staring at the wall where he'd hung a Quidditch poster. The captain of the Falmouth Falcons scowled down at him.
"Eugh, Peter... I just grabbed her and kissed her. She wasn't expecting it or anything!"
"And?" his friend prompted.
"And she left."
"Didn't say anything?"
"Now, just said 'er' and fled the scene." Sirius growled. "I am such a blooming idiot, honestly! What was I thinking?"
"You were thinking you wanted to kiss Lily, and here she was," Peter replied matter-of-factly. "Don't take the mickey out on yourself, you didn't do a thing wrong."
"We can never, ever tell James," he mumbled.
"I know. And better not tell Remus, either, he'd say anything if James asked him to."
"Devoted little bugger," Sirius said affectionately. "But, still, Pete, what do I do?"
"Wait it out, I suppose."
"What if she doesn't talk to me?"
"She will." Peter leaned back on his pillow. "Sirius, you're a strange guy, and a little bit of an arse, but - and I mean this objectively - you're a good-looking bloke. She can't not talk to you."
Not talking to Sirius seemed to be easier than Peter made it sound, considering classes the next day kept all the students occupied. Between second and third period, when they should've passed each other, they were both swept up in the crowd of passerbys. Even in History of Magic, Binns had them working quietly on individual projects, unable to communicate with each other.
He kept casting her furtive glances during meals, wondering if she was cross with him, or confused, or happy -
- it made Sirius sick to his stomach. He was not the kind of person to worry like this. He may not have had the best childhood, but his friends were his family. He wasn't completely hungry for affection. Sirius Black was stolid and deliberate, not... spontaneous or eager to please.
It was one of his quirks, actually; though he seemed unpredictable, pushing the limits of the socially acceptable, everything this young man did was planned carefully from start to finish. Unlike that kiss.
He finally caught up to her in the common room that night, having ditched his friends in the library earlier. When he came in, she was sitting by the fire alone.
"It must be my lucky day," he said quietly as he came up beside her armchair. She sighed and gazed at the fire. "I thought I'd have to lure you away from your friends."
"What do you want, Sirius?" Lily rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. It was almost lights-out, but a few people still lingered in the room, most waiting for James, Peter, and Remus to return from some daring mission. No one had acknowledged Sirius's arrival, which he was thankful for.
"I just want to know if you want me to apologise for yesterday," he said tentatively, leaning against the chair. "Because if you do, I will."
"I know you don't like to." She looked up at him, green eyes filled with an emotion he didn't quite recognize. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he dimly noted she'd already changed into her pyjamas. "So I won't make you."
"It's not a matter of whether you'll make me," he insisted, ears turned pink. "It's a matter of - of whether you want me to."
Lily's mouth made a little "O" in understanding.
"Well?" he prompted.
"I - er -" she grinned shyly. "I guess it was kind of nice."
Relief flooded Sirius's system, though he felt a little stupid for being so... concerned. So interested, even.
"Well, this is an awkward subject," she confessed. "Let's talk about something else for awhile. Want to see the first roll of film I finished?"
He nodded, and Lily pulled an envelope out of her bookbag (which lay on the floor at her feet) and handed it to him. Sirius sat, leaning up against the side of the chair as the girl looked on.
Twenty or so photographs, neatly printed in black and white, spilled out of the envelope. Although they'd been taken with a Muggle camera camera, Lily had obviously used the right (magical) chemicals because the figures were moving.
First there was the photo of Lily pouting. Her eyes looked imploringly up at the camera as if saying, "Why would you do that?"
"Nice one," he said, waving it in front of her face. She grinned and took it from him.
"Shut up."
He flipped through the rest of them, picking out the ones he thought belonged in the capsule. Lily blowing a raspberry. Lily waving. Sirius sticking out his tongue ("Hey, this is supposed to be about me!") It went on like this, one being a photograph of the two of them. As Sirius watched, the black-and-white version of himself pressed his cheek up against hers, holding the camera at arm's length. They both laughed.
"I like this one," he said quietly, flipping it onto her lap. "Put that one in."
The next Saturday was a pleasant promise, dawning bright and warm. Students trotted out to the grassy grounds at the encouragement - nay, insistence - of the professors.
Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all took to their favorite spot by the lake, effectively scaring away a couple second-years before settling under the tree.
As usual, Sirius closed his eyes and leaned against the tree trunk. He had insomnia on most nights, and Saturdays were his way of catching up. Remus took out a comic book, as was his tradition, and Peter began rummaging in his bag for his homework.
James, however, didn't reach into his pocket for the Snitch he usually brought outside. In fact, he didn't do anything at all.
Sirius knew when he was being stared at. It never bothered him much - he was always being stared at for some reason or another, not always positive. But this time he felt wholly uncomfortable, because it was James. And James just didn't stare at Sirius. Period.
"Can I help you?"
"Er," James replied intelligently. Sirius cracked his eyes open.
"Yeah, mate?"
"You're acting differently," the boy said finally.
Different. He wasn't sure how to take that. "What do you mean?" he asked carefully, hoping the answer wasn't too full-blown. Things had gotten too unpredictable for Sirius, and he disliked improvising.
"Just... differently," James said, exasperated. "I don't know. You're not as funny anymore."
"Gee, thanks, James."
"I'm just being honest. You don't help me prank teacher anymore, or tell really elaborate stories to girls, or anything. You didn't even help me mess with Snivellus."
"He's got a point," Remus said, not looking up from his comic book. "Normally you'd jump at the opportunity."
"You don't even know what opportunity means," Sirius bit crossly, not feeling an ounce of guilt at his friend's offended expression. "You're on something, James. I'm fine."
"I wasn't worried for your health," his friend said dryly.
"Hey, it's Lily," Peter said loudly, trying to drag the conversation away from Sirius.
"Where?" Both James and Sirius asked eagerly. They looked at each other oddly, and the latter turned a shade pinker than before. "Er..."
"Over by the water," the blond buy cut in before questions could be asked. "I think she's looking at you, James."
"Really?" James ran a hand through his hair, effectively rumpling it into the "wind-blown" look. He fumbled around in his pockets for the Snitch. "Where is that little bugger?"
"Why don't you just go talk to her?" Remus suggested. Until recently, the werewolf had never stepped in, but this year he'd apparently become fed-up with James's antics. "Take a bit of a straight-forward approach."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Sirius asked worriedly. "She might not want to talk to you..."
The boy with glasses shrugged. "Who knows, she might be feeling really friendly today."
"Really friendly." Remus snickered.
Now Peter looked concerned as well, shooting a furtive glance at Sirius, who was teetering on the edge of anger. "Maybe not..."
"Well, I'm going to go talk to her," their friend declared, climbing to his feet. "James Potter never backs down from a challenge!" And he marched over to where Lily and her friends sat in the grass.
"Any reason you didn't want him to go over there?" Remus wondered.
"No," Sirius snapped, grabbing his bookbag. "Where's my textbook? Stupid little prick..."
"The textbook?"
"Yes, Remus, the textbook." He sighed in exasperation. "Peter, have you got my textbook?"
"No," Peter said in confusion. "Why would I have it? I've got my own."
"Eugh."
James came strolling back, frustration written all over his face. He plopped back down on the grass, huffing.
"Well, what'd she say?"
Sirius's ears perked up - or they would've, if he was a dog.
"It's stupid. She said she was already in a relationship, but she wouldn't say who with."
Peter shot Sirius a look. He merely shrugged in response, as if to say, "Hey, don't look at me."
"Don't worry about it," Remus said sympathetically, patting his disgruntled friend on the back. "I'm sure she'll come to her senses eventually."
"Do you wanna know a secret?" Sirius asked as he sat across from Lily in the library. She cocked an eyebrow at him and rose a finger to her lips.
"Yes, but shh."
"I hate my name," he said, much quieter.
"Oh?"
He nodded. "Everyone makes puns about it being, y'know, serious, and it reminds me a lot of my family."
Lily leaned back in her chair, regarding him with deep sympathy. "You don't like your family."
"No."
"Why?"
"I just ...don't." Sirius squeezed his eyes shut in thought. "My mum and dad believe being pureblooded is as good as being royalty, basically. The name 'Black' should give us leverage over other wizards. I never agreed with that."
"Oh..." She smiled a bit. "It's because you're a brave person, Sirius. You want to earn respect, not be born with it."
"Exactly. My brother - he's not so bad, but he's just so soft." His fists clenched. "He accepts anything they say. I can't stand it!"
"Everyone's different," Lily said, shrugging. "It's the same with you and your friends, you know. I noticed from day one that you and James are the leaders."
"Just James, really."
"No." She set her elbows on the table and sighed. "James is the one who makes decisions. He's loud and likes to tell other people what to do.."
"And I'm the minion?"
"And you're the one who makes things happen," she corrected. "You make the ultimate choice. You have the power to override him if either Remus or Peter disagree."
"I'm not following." Sirius leaned back and folded his arms across his chest, waiting.
"If you speak up, so will they," the girl pointed out. "Then majority rules."
"You've done an interesting job picking apart our group dynamics, Miss Evans."
"All in a day's work, Mr. Black."
They laughed at each other.
"Hey," Lily said suddenly. "I got you something. Hold on."
She rummaged through her bag for a moment before producing what Sirius recognized to be a page from his sketchbook. "Ta-da!"
His eyebrows shot up. "You didn't."
"I did." She handed it over, and he laugehd under his breath; it was the picture of a ship he'd drawn and given to her during spring vacation, finally colored in. "I get what you meant, now," she said, smiling. "About putting in a thousand different colors, but it's still only brown."
"I love it. Thank you," he said, shaking his head with a faint grin on his face. He then folded it up and put it in his pocket. "So, what's this I hear about you being in a relationship?"
"Oh..." Lily turned slightly pink. "I made that up to get him to go away. Don't you dare tell him that," she added fiercely. He raised his hands in the air.
"Alright, alright, peace."
She smiled at him. "Though to be honest, I wish you had come over to talk, too."
Sirius glanced around the library; it seemed empty save Pince, but one could never be sure. "Is this a good place for this conversation?"
"Is it... secret?" Lily asked carefully, expression guarded now. "For whatever reason?"
He decided to be honest; he nodded.
"Then I see no better opportunity," she said quietly, her voice dropping to a mere whisper, so low Sirius had to lean across the table to hear her. "Unless you don't want to talk about it."
"I do want to talk about it."
"Then," she sighed, "I think I'm going to ask the one question all the love advice articles say you shouldn't... where do we stand?"
Sirius closed his eyes briefly, thinking of his stolen kiss. "I... don't know," he admitted. "All I know is where I want to stand."
"Where's that?"
A fresh smile tugged at his lips. "With you."
Harry Potter, age 18, sat in Hagrid's hut that night in July, savoring his last few days before he went off to a three-year Auror training program. A mug of tea was clutched between his hands.
Hagrid traipsed in through the back door, placing a small shovel against the threshhold and wiping dirt off his hands. "Harry, I... well, I've got summat for yeh."
"What's that, Hagrid?" The young man gazed suspiciously at the sight of the cardboard container in Hagrid's large hands. "Not - it's not an animal, is it?"
"No," the half-giant replied, setting it on the table with a grunt. "No, jus' a - well, yer mum left it with me, for yer eighteenth birthday. Go on, open it."
He did, prying the cap off the tube. Inside he found a vast treasure of photographs, letters, drawings, small trinkets - and, oddly enough, a left shoe. It had penguins drawn on it.
Hagrid smiled tearily. "Tha's a time capsule, that is."
"My mum made this?" Harry asked softly.
"Yep... asked me ter bury it some place I wouldn' forget... under me porch, of course, can hardly forget it there, now can I?"
Photographs. Lots of them. Some of his dad, some of Lily herself, even a few of their friends. There was one of a young Sirius and Lily, cheeks pressed together.
Harry smiled. His mum and his dad's best friend, the only father figure he'd ever had. "I like this one, Hagrid."
because at some point
everybody's gotta give in
it's just a matter of time and
I've hung on
a little longer than most
FIN