The Whole Story
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Prompt: a spring in his step
Summary: All these years later, Daniel has gone and done the unthinkable. He's fallen in love.
Notes: Set post-series. Written and previously posted on Dreamwidth for the Jack/Daniel Prompt-a-Thon at jd_ficathon.
The Whole Story
The hotel restaurant wasn't crowded. They had only just opened for the lunch hour, so Jack saw no reason for the hostess to seat the two women who had just arrived immediately behind him. And yet...
Jack assessed them in his peripheral vision as they passed by his table: professionally dressed, and wearing lanyards around their necks displaying ID tags nearly identical to the one tucked into Jack's jacket pocket. One of them was Sherry something, he thought. She'd been among the conference staffers who had greeted him when he arrived the previous night. Conference Coordinator, she had said. "Let me know if there is anything I can get for you, General."
He sipped his water and accepted his sandwich from the server with a nod and a quiet word of thanks, trying not to attract the women's attention. Privacy was getting harder and harder to come by these days, and why the hell didn't he just order room service? At least he wasn't in uniform; they would definitely have recognized him then, but apparently General Jack O'Neill of Homeworld Security wouldn't be sitting around a restaurant in jeans and an oversized t-shirt.
Jack stared at the river view outside the window as the women continued chatting away behind him, recapping the schedule for the afternoon's event, tsk-tsking about last minute no-shows (Couldn't be helped, ladies. Trust me). He was just wondering if he would be able to find a good fishing spot before he had to leave when he heard something that got his immediate and full attention.
"But Dr. Jackson is still showing up, right?"
"Yes. He's here already. Came in about an hour ago. What are you smiling at?"
"I know it's probably inappropriate, but I was thinking about trying to slip him my number. He is just so smart and sooo... What?"
"First, yes, that's completely inappropriate." Jack masked a scowl with another bite of his sandwich. Ya think? At least Sherry (it was Sherry, right?) sounded appropriately disapproving.
"And second, you're too late. I was talking to one of the girls from Cincinnati. Dr. Jackson was speaking there last week, you know. She told me he is so totally in love."
Jack hands were surprisingly steady as he put his sandwich down. He concentrated on chewing the suddenly too dry food and ignoring the swirling pain in his chest.
Daniel. In love -
"In love? With who?"
"She didn't know. There wasn't anyone with him, but you know how he's been travelling almost constantly since the announcement of the Stargate Program. But she said he has all the signs. Daniel Jackson is completely, totally, goofy smiling at nothing at all, in love. You don't stand a chance."
Daniel in love -
That wasn't supposed to happen. He was breaking the agreement they'd never made to be the Grumpy Old Men of their generation; to grow old, each alone, together. Not to mention shattering Jack's deeply buried, rarely acknowledged, but necessary-as-air dream that one day, somehow the world would turn on its head and Daniel would turn out to love Jack as much as Jack loved him. And had never said. Never could. Never would.
Jack thought he should be bigger than this. He should be able to wish Daniel happiness, love, companionship, no matter who he found it with. But Jack had never claimed not to be a selfish man, and giving Daniel his blessing to break his heart was not high on Jack's list of things to do.
Daniel in love.
Jack threw a twenty down on the table and left. Halfway through the lobby, he was intercepted by his staff aide, Col. Harris, and ushered to the mobile office they had set up to spend the next hour on the phone, leaving him barely enough time to don his Class As before heading down to the auditorium.
Daniel was there already, dashing in a dark grey suit. Jack wasn't the only one noticing how good he looked. It was a tossup which of the three got the most press: Mitchell, Daniel, or Carter. They were friendly, pretty, and galactic heroes. Everyone noticed them. Everyone loved them.
As usual, Daniel was entirely oblivious of the attention he attracted. He was standing off to one side, talking animatedly on his cell. A sudden stab of jealousy discomfited Jack, as he studied Daniel's face, analyzed the fleeting smiles and small chuckles, tried to figure out if he was talking to the mystery lover. Daniel looked up suddenly, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he felt someone watching him, his face relaxing when he caught Jack's gaze. He smiled and lifted his hand in a half-wave, half-hold-on-a-sec motion, his attention split between his phone call and his friend.
Sherry was onstage, starting the introductions now. Apologies were made for the no-shows. Jack was ushered onto the stage. Looking toward the wings, he saw that Daniel was speaking right up to the minute they introduced him; at which point someone physically took the phone from his hand and pushed him onto the stage.
Jack watched Daniel approach. Finally publicly vindicated after being publicly ridiculed all those years ago, he could almost be forgiven if he were to turn into a pompous, superior ass; but he never had. He was smiling and enthusiastic, with just a touch of awe-struck, as if he still couldn't believe that all these people were applauding him.
And then Jack saw what those women had been talking about. The glow, the quality of his smile, the fucking spring in his step, it was written all across his body in neon letters: Daniel Jackson was in love. Jack could only hope that his despair wasn't written across his face as Daniel turned to shoot him a quick smile before settling down in the chair next to him. General Vidrine was onstage now, waiting for everyone to calm down before starting his opening remarks.
"They're really here for you, you know?" Jack commented under the loud hum of crowd noise. "All I ever get are a few geriatrics..."
Daniel's laugh was carefree and echoed through Jack's whole body. "I've seen the videos, Jack. Everybody loves you."
Then Vidrine was opening up the floor for questions. Jack wasn't sure what to expect; they'd split the personal appearances according to the audience most likely to connect with the speaker. That meant that Jack had visited a lot of military bases and towns, shaken hands with a lot of politicians, and discussed tactics and weaponry and big honkin' space guns till he was blue in the face. This was the final appearance of the official unveiling; it was supposed to be all of them here, but delays were quickly turning to cancellations. It was just the two of them from the original team and Vidrine. More brass would be coming in tomorrow.
Jack found the questions were pleasantly diverse, with a lot of focus on exactly how well the military and scientific interests worked together in the development and execution of the stargate program. He and Daniel were thrown back in time trying answer some of those, drawing on their experiences over the years, getting as many laughs as thoughtful pauses from the audience.
Daniel didn't want to leave until every question was answered, dedicated as ever to sharing his knowledge, but Vidrine finally called a halt to the whole thing and reminded everyone that there would be further discussion panels the next day.
Jack could see Harris waiting impatiently off-stage and started to head that way when Daniel's hand on his arm stopped him. "Dinner?" Daniel asked.
Jack started to shake his head. "Come on, Jack. We haven't seen each other for months. And there's something I need to tell you."
Oh god. He wants to tell me about him, her, the Significant Other. Or ask me ... best man. Oh hell no.
But the nervous, almost pleading look in Daniel's eyes was enough to sway him. He'd suck it up, be the friend that Daniel needed. No reason for both of them to be bitter old men. Daniel could make his life, have the family that kept slipping out of his grasp, and Jack could be the cantankerous old friend who would show up every now and then, throw the household into disarray, and then slip away to his solitary life. The SO would hate it and Jack would hate it, but they would do it because it would make Daniel happy, because no one who loved him could say no to him.
Jack realized that he had never said no to Daniel in their friendship. There was something about the way his eyes lit up when he 'won' the argument over whether to eat at the new Greek place or the good old standby steakhouse. Getting kicked in the teeth all his life really made Daniel appreciate the little things, and making the little things happen for Daniel was the closest thing to a spiritual experience Jack had had for a very long time.
So Jack said, "Sure. Dinner sounds great. But Harris is going to have a heart attack if I don't go do whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing right now. Let's meet in the lobby at 6?"
Harris subtly shook his head.
"Better make it 7," Jack amended. "You pick the place."
Daniel's smile of relief was both the most wonderful thing Jack had seen in months and the most painful. God, he didn't want to do this.
Jack sighed wearily as he let himself back into his room; he just needed a minute to revel in the silence. There had been over a dozen people on that call, and it was apparently a rule that at least half of them had to be speaking at once. It was ridiculous, hours spent going around in circles rehashing the same thing over and over because they didn't actually know anything new and they wanted to feel like they were doing something.
Jack wanted to be "out there"; at least part of him did. Out there doing something, instead of back here, waiting on reports of yet another new threat, attacks near Jaffa planets, an Earth vessel MIA. Out there with Teal'c and Carter and, God help them all, Mitchell.
But that wasn't Jack anymore. And it wasn't Daniel.
The Ori had followed too quickly on the heels of the Goa'uld. It was a few too many deaths, near-deaths, and Ascensions in too little time. Jack had known when he'd seen Daniel after the Adria / Merlin / Priorization debacle that, this time, Daniel was done. Sure, his eyes had lost that creepy zombiefication, but when Jack had sat with him in the infirmary on the trip home, it hadn't been Daniel looking at him; at least it hadn't been his Daniel.
From then on, it was just a question of when Daniel would know it too.
He'd lasted longer than Jack had thought he would, much longer than Jack had wanted him to. Pushed himself past reason to hang in there and complete the job. And then, without a word to his team or to Jack, he'd taken a leave of absence, gone and spent three months playing in the sand, before falling off the grid for another six. He'd been travelling, he said vaguely, when he reappeared. Six months with no contact with anyone other than a few random blank postcards that appeared in Jack's mailbox now and then.
When Daniel came back it was to help take the program public, to educate the world. Jack was pretty sure that there was also a desire to see the faces of some of his former colleagues as he was proven right, after all.
It wasn't the same, though. Jack missed Daniel's input on the everyday stuff, his optimism, the clarity he brought to even the messiest situations. He wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of this uniform, ask Daniel up for drinks, and bring him up to date on what the hell was going on Out There.
A glance at the clock told him he was running later than he had thought. The message light on his phone was blinking and he picked it up, waited for the standard intro and pushed the appropriate button. He tugged at his tie, loosening but not removing it. There were lots of restaurants within walking distance of the conference center. Classy, Daniel would call them; Jack usually went with snooty. The kind of places where he always felt like the chef was going to come out and rap him on the knuckles for some infraction that made absolutely no sense to him, shades of CCD with Sister Mary Katherine. The kind of places he'd seen way too often since moving to Washington three years ago. The kind of places that had a strict dress code, and he had nothing formal other than his Class As with him.
Daniel's recorded voice came through the receiver. "Don't worry about the time, Jack. Col. Harris already let me know you were running late. I've arranged for a car to pick us up; it should be out front around 7:30. I'm in no hurry, so whenever you get down there is fine." A few seconds of white noise, breathing, shuffling papers, the familiar sounds of Daniel thinking. "Yeah, I guess that's all. Oh, and um, dress casual. No need for uniforms, right?"
Jack stared at the phone. One of these days, someone was going to clue in to just how good a mind-reader Daniel Jackson was; that would be a bad day. But for now, Jack was just extraordinarily grateful to be pulling off the tie, hanging up the blue wool, and sliding on the soft, cool comfort of worn-in jeans. He grabbed his leather jacket on his way out the door.
Daniel had hired a private car and driver, rather than using Air Force resources. He was leaning against the rear bumper when Jack exited the hotel. He smiled widely as Jack approached. Daniel hadn't gone quite as casual as Jack, and was stunning in a nicely fitting pair of light slacks topped with a simple blue polo that had no right looking that good on anyone. Even standing still, Daniel was turning heads. Daniel always turned heads.
They'd only been on the road for a couple of minutes when Daniel asked, "So, how'd Sam and Teal'c get out of this?"
"Well, the Jaffa had a little dustup in the council meeting this week. Teal'c is trying to mend fences. And Carter is still on active field duty; you know the PR gig is just a side deal for her. Duty called." The official story needed some work, but no one was digging too deeply yet.
"Is everything okay?" A vague question in words was accompanied by a very specific question conveyed by his tense, frowning expression. Are they okay?
Jack nodded cautiously. "I'll tell you more later, if you want." His eyes flicked to the driver up front, pretending he couldn't hear everything they were saying.
Daniel studied Jack for a minute before nodding. "Yeah, I'd like that." He looked out the window for a minute, then back to Jack again. "Should we, should you be there? At the hotel, at least?"
"No. We're good for now. I've got my phone if something happens. But I don't really expect to hear anything new before morning."
The city lights flashed by their windows as Daniel sat and worried some decision in his mind. Jack watched him open his mouth to speak several times, probably to suggest they head back anyway. This news had obviously thrown a monkey wrench into whatever Daniel had planned for the night, but Jack wasn't sure why. Guilt at being safe and happy and wanting to share good news with a friend while the others were out there possibly in danger was the best guess Jack could make.
Jack was mulling possible responses - distraction, brutal honesty, 'I've been there too, y'know,' - when Daniel suddenly relaxed back against the leather seat and smiled. "All right. So we've got tonight, then."
Daniel had chosen a steakhouse far enough away from the conference center that it was unlikely they would run into anyone they knew. It was a higher-end chain, a step above the kind of place they might have eaten at in the Springs, but still comfortably familiar.
They were seated immediately and ordered drinks and an appetizer, then sat back to leisurely review the menu.
Jack looked up when Daniel chuckled. "'Three with everything'," Daniel said, shaking his head.
"Those were really good steaks."
"Yes, they were. It's a good thing too, because the memory of those had to last us for what, a year, before management would let back into O'Malley's?"
"And all because someone called you a geek."
"Oh, yeah, I really had to twist your arm to get you involved."
Jack looked across the table. Daniel was laughing, relaxed and happier than he'd been in half a decade, looking devastatingly handsome in the warm light. It was a moment that could simultaneously exist six years ago and six years from now, that would have to last Jack forever even as it was over in an instant.
The instant when Jack remembered why they were here, he felt the weight of their friendship settle on him and rouse the fatigue that Daniel had pushed away for a few minutes. Daniel's smile faded, lips pursed as he regarded Jack with concern.
"Jack?"
Before he could answer, their server had returned with drinks and their appetizer. They gave their orders, handed over their menus, and turned their attention to the food. Jack realized suddenly that he hadn't had anything since his half-eaten lunch. Daniel had a bite or two of the crispy, spicy shrimp, then started talking.
"So, Jack, I've been thinking a lot over the past few months. You know, I've spent a sizable chunk of my adult life with you, around you. First at the SGC, then coming to work with Homeworld and the prep for going public, and then all of a sudden, you're on one tour track, I'm on another and there's a lot of time for..."
"Thinking," Jack supplied.
And there was the "Thank you, Mr. Obvious" smile. "Yes." His expression softened, then reset to serious before he continued. "I'm tired of being alone, Jack. I'm tired of keeping everything in. I want to be in an acknowledged relationship, have ... I want to have that."
"You deserve that, Daniel." Of course he did, and Jack understood / didn't understand Daniel's desire to keep his sexuality hidden all those years. Jack had told him early on that Daniel's bisexuality was in his background check; Jack knew, Hammond knew, eventually Daniel told Carter and Teal'c also. True, they worked in a military facility, but the rules were also more loosely applied at the SGC, even the 'unspoken' ones. And Daniel had to have known that if anyone had threatened him, they would have had to deal with a very pissed off SG1. But it was his life and his decision and Jack had never called him on it.
"I understand that we can't be entirely open yet - the program still comes first - but I want us to not have to hide from each other."
"Daniel," Jack began, took a drink and tried again. He could do this for Daniel. "Daniel, you never have to hide from me," he said sincerely.
Daniel smiled, his whole face brightening, the fine lines at the corner of his eyes crinkling in surprised delight. Jack loved those lines. He liked to think he knew all the stories behind them. He was sure he had put more than a few of them there himself. He wondered which ones the new guy would put there.
But then the smile faltered. "But you really have no idea what I'm talking about."
"I don't?"
"Do you?"
"Do I need to?"
"Do you..." Daniel sputtered. "I'm sorry, do you need to? Well, yes, Jack, I find that conversations are usually better when both parties know what they're talking about."
"Trust me. I've had more than my fair share of conversations with you where I had absolutely no idea what you were talking about."
"Oh, that's promising," he muttered, spearing the last shrimp with ferocity.
Jack threw him the patented O'Neill smirk before taking a deep swallow of his beer. It was still as much fun getting Daniel riled up as it ever was. And Jack could pretend it was all in this day's spirit of remembrances of days gone by, instead of a rather pathetic attempt to get Daniel to abandon this particular topic of conversation.
"Okay, from the top then." Daniel drew in a deep breath, but Jack cut him off.
"You've fallen in love." Jack hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, hadn't meant to say anything at all, but he was too tired to play games and, if Daniel couldn't be diverted, the sooner they cut to the chase, the sooner he could start to box it all up and move on.
"What? Who told you that?"
"I overheard it from a couple of your groupies. Something about your smile, they said."
"Okay," Daniel replied slowly. "Sounds like you got some bad intel."
"Bad?"
Daniel shrugged. "Well, technically good, but it's missing a crucial element. I've never known you to settle for incomplete intel."
"It doesn't matter to me who it is, Daniel."
"Well, it might. It should."
Their entrees arrived and they settled into an uncomfortable silence, with strained smiles and quiet thank yous to the server. Jack picked up his knife and fork and started in on his steak immediately, but Daniel sat there watching him, ignoring his meal.
"Jack."
He looked up.
"Don't you want to know why you should care?"
This was it. Jack tried to prepare himself for whatever Daniel was going to say. Tighten the muscles, regulate the breathing, throw himself into it because through is the only way out.
"Yes, I'm love. But no, I've haven't just fallen in love. It's been here for a long, long time. And if there's a difference that people are noticing, it's just that I've finally decided to do something about it, to go ahead and put it on the table and see what you think."
He cut a piece of steak and got it halfway to his mouth before continuing.
"You know, I had this whole thing planned out. Dinner, some conversation, then back to one of our rooms for drinks where I would convince you to take a week or two off and we'd go somewhere, anywhere, the cabin if you wanted. Nice and slow, no pressure. Lots of time to ease you into the idea. But I don't need to know the specifics of what's being discussed on your phone calls to know that that's not going to happen, at least not now, so it looks like we're on the abbreviated schedule."
One level of Jack's brain was hearing Daniel's words and processing them. The other was mired in his (apparently) erroneous expectations about this dinner's purpose. Always prepared for the worst, he'd long given up expecting the best.
"The abbreviated schedule being...?" Ask the obvious question as he played for time.
"All of that, only quicker." Daniel grinned quickly before turning serious, putting his fork down, steak still uneaten, and leaning forward, elbows on either side of his plate, eager and earnest. "I am in love with you, Jack. Have been for the better part of a decade. And I think you're there, too. I'm guessing maybe you've been holding back because you didn't think I felt it or you were afraid of changing the dynamic of our friendship or the regs or any of half a dozen other reasons.
"So here's what I propose:
"We finish up here, go back to your room, my room, wherever, and pack two weeks of exploration into one night. In the morning, you brief me on whatever is going on, we deal with it, and then proceed as I had originally intended."
Jack couldn't take his eyes off him as Daniel sat back with a flirtatious grin. All of a sudden, Jack's conscious mind was considering just what it would be like to kiss those smiling lips, to feel them against his own. Would Daniel be as assertive in the bedroom as he was being right here, or less? Or more?
But as he watched Daniel and allowed himself to examine the fantasies he only took out on the most desperate, lonely nights, he saw a glimmer of nervousness, a slight narrowing of the eyes, movement of the lips as Daniel started reassessing his assumptions based on...
"If that's something you'd like," Daniel said slowly.
...Jack's total lack of visible response. Crap. So aroused, emotionally and physically by Daniel's proposal, he went temporarily mute and now Daniel was trying to back off.
"Or you can just tell me to..."
"I'd like," Jack said suddenly, a little loudly as he broke through the paralysis that seemed to have set in. Lowering his voice, he repeated. "I'd like that more than I can say. Obviously." He licked his lips and pressed on ahead. "In fact, I would be absolutely fine with skipping the 'finishing up here' portion of your plan and just heading straight to the nearest bed."
Daniel let out a little laugh of relief, of joy, of anticipation. Picking up his fork again, he shook his head. "I think we can spare a few minutes, Jack. After all, I'm hoping we're going to be expending a lot of energy tonight."
Jack drowsily opened his eyes. The sliver of sky that could be seen where the curtains didn't quite meet was just a shade lighter. It had been maybe half an hour since they had fallen, not asleep exactly, more into a light doze, a regrouping, balancing in that state of existence that was neither sleep nor wakefulness. He should have been utterly exhausted; he hadn't pulled an all-nighter in a couple of years. Not to mention the multiple orgasms, and it had been significantly more than a couple years since he'd even thought about attempting that.
But instead of exhausted, Jack felt buzzed. A subtle, energized warmth coursed through him, like an adrenaline rush but without the edge or the urgency. Every cell in his body was alert and aware and at peace. Some of it could be written off to the endorphin rush, but Jack had had good sex before - hell, he'd had great sex before - and he'd never felt this. This was pure Daniel, multiplied exponentially.
Daniel was currently spooned behind him, a knee propped between Jack's thighs, chest to back, groin against his butt. He could feel the the gentle, rhythmic motion of Daniel's sleepy breathing. Jack took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of his his lungs expanding under the weight of Daniel's arm. He felt Daniel stir behind him, adjust the drape of his arm. Daniel pressed in more tightly and gently kissed Jack's shoulder. He left his mouth there as he said, "Go back to sleep," his voice muffled by sleep and Jack's skin. "Or if you're not going to sleep," Daniel murmured. Jack felt Daniel's lips shape into a smile as he gently thrust his hips into Jack.
Jack grumble-hummed back to Daniel. It was too much effort to talk. Both were good ideas, but this, right here, was where he wanted to be right now. Without a word, Daniel settled back to semi-sleep, except for his hand, which began idly stroking across Jack's chest. Daniel knew how Jack liked to be touched - a fact that he had been proving all night long - and this was no different. Soothing, relaxing, connecting as they lay there watching the dawn.
When Jack's cell phone rang, he reached back and squeezed Daniel's hip before swinging himself into an upright position. He was already pulling on his briefs as he answered. When he heard Carter's voice in response, he gave Daniel a thumbs up, mouthed, 'It's Carter,' and then forced himself to stop looking at Daniel, deliciously mussed and very naked and entirely too distracting as Carter was talking at lightning speed about magnets and couplings and unforeseen spatial anomalies.
Landry's voice in the background had her making apologies and getting off the phone after only a couple of minutes, but Jack got the gist and tossed his phone back onto the night table. Finally allowing himself to look back at Daniel, now sitting up, leaning against the headboard, he smiled and said, "Looks like we should be seeing Carter and Mitchell by lunchtime."
Daniel tilted his head in silent question; Jack had sketched the bare bones of the situation out for him earlier in the night.
"We finally heard from Odyssey. Massive power loss, including comms, resulting from..."
Daniel smirked. "I'm sure Sam was very thorough in her description."
Jack looked Daniel up and down pointedly. "Yeah, well. I was a little distracted. Everything she said will be in her report. Odyssey managed to limp to the nearest gate planet and report in. Carter will have a wonderful time geeking out over what exactly went wrong, but that's for next week."
"Any news on the Jaffa?"
"Yeah. She said Teal'c sent a report a few minutes ago. It's an internal situation. Doesn't look great, but we're not getting involved unless they ask."
"So, everything's OK?"
Looking at Daniel's long naked body on the rumpled sheets, Jack was sure that everything was much more than OK. And they had a couple of hours before their breakfast meet-and-greet. He kneed onto the end of the bed and slowly ran his hands up Daniel's shins, bending over and following his hands with his mouth.
Daniel opened his legs a little wider, allowing Jack to settle his body in between. Small goosebumps appeared under Jack's hands and lips, mirroring the happy sounds Daniel was making.
Jack trailed his tongue up Daniel's soft inner thigh,before burying his nose in Daniel's groin. Jack looked up. "You smell like soap," he grumped.
Daniel reached down and ran a hand through Jack's hair. "I would imagine that's from the shower I took a couple of hours ago. Would have thought you remembered that. You were most definitely there," Daniel smirked.
"Like it better when you smell like sex." Jack mouthed his way up Daniel's cock. "Gonna fix that." He looked back up at Daniel who was watching him with a smile.
"No argument here."
"And then," Jack swirled his tongue around the head, feeling Daniel's thigh tense beneath his hand, "I believe," he dipped his head taking the cock into his mouth, feeling it begin to harden against his tongue before pulling back, "we have vacation plans to make."
Whatever answer Daniel was going to give was lost as Jack lowered his head quickly, taking Daniel down to the root. The plans didn't really matter all that much anyway, as long as they had this.
~ends~