I never wanted to fall in love with him, or with anyone, for that matter. I watched my mother get left, to take care of three children alone, at a young age and even then I knew that pain she was feeling was something I didn't want. That even if it was lonely, I would be content with the life of peacekeeper or training the new breed of Careers that were sure to follow in my classes foot steps.

But nothing in life ever works out the way we plan.

At the age of 12 when classes, and training, at the academy became co-ed I met him. Cato was arrogant and cocky, even at 12. He walked around with a wicked smirk and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Somehow he managed to grab my attention with a simple wink. I fell in love before I was old enough to understand what the feeling was. It was the cocky attitude that almost suffocated me, the way he would wink from across the room at the exact moment I happened to look his way, how he would go out of his way to make sure I always saw him do something incredible in training.

And at the time in my life when I looked the most awkward, my hair never did what I wanted, I was too tall, my eyes seemed to big for my face, ect…, I managed to catch his eye because one day, after I had impressed the trainers and trainees alike with my hand to hand combat skills by taking down one of the biggest guys in the 14 year old division, he walked up to me and said;

"I hope you know I'm going to marry you one day."

In a typical 12 year old girl fashion, I laughed in his face and called him crazy to think I'd even like someone as arrogant as he was and while I walked away with a little more swish to my hips, because that's what my older sister did to get the boys attention, he yelled to me that he always got what he wanted.

For a good three years he tried his hardest to impress me and as he put it "win me over". Now let me explain that three years is a long time during training. That was 10 hours a day of my life that I was forced to spend in the same room as him. 60 hours a week. 3000 hours a year. He never quit. He always walked me to and from training, held doors open for me, sat with me and my friends at lunch, everything he could to spend time around me.

But I was young. I didn't really think he was serious about liking me. He was always joking with someone or flirting with a girl and by the time I realized he really did have feelings for me I was 15 dating a boy, Barler, 2 years older who really only wanted to be with me because I was "hot" and it was clear to everyone that when I was old enough, I was going to be a victor. My skills always seemed to be too advanced for someone only 15 because I was able to take down those 3 times my size.

When the older boy broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", I went to Cato and spent the night curled up in his bed crying while he held me and told me I was too beautiful and strong to cry and "the asshole" didn't deserve me.

I woke up curled into his bed alone and barley made it to evaluations on time. Barler was there with a black eye and Cato had a satisfied smirk on his face. Cato and I came in first place for the 15 year old division and all he had to say was "See, its destiny."

But I'm a bitch and was in a bad mood, so all I could do was roll my eyes and in an annoyed voice ask what the fuck I could do to get him to leave me alone about that shit.

One date.

That was what he wanted from me. Now I know that this seems crazy, me being a bitch to him like this when obviously part of me was already attracted to him, but lets be serious here, I was a 15 year old girl, that just felt like her heart had been stomped on, training to be a killing machine, with an older brother and sister that were both victors of their own games who put pressure on me to win mine own, with no idea why he made my heart beat so fast, and afraid of losing one of my best friends to the sorrows of relationships.

I had a lot going on in my head. But I caved anyway and said fine.

To this day I will deny I had feelings for him the whole time. But I did. Personally I blame the winking and how shallow I claim to be.

He'll tell you it's because of the charmer he is and that from the moment he saw me he knew I would be the only girl he'd ever want cause of the fact that I didn't fall at his feet.

See, even when he is trying to be sweet the arrogance over powers it but I guess it works for him because at 18 were still together and number 1 choices to volunteer but everyone who knows us knows we wont volunteer together. We couldn't. I can't kill him and he works to hard to "protect me".

In the end I know Cato will be the one to volunteer because "he is the man in this relationship" and I'll go along with it because I think these games are ludicrous, even if I can never say it out loud. But then again it may just be because I'm not the only one I have to worry about anymore.

Anyway, today is the day before my final reaping, the one that me and Cato are supposed to volunteer for, unless I can change his mind. But that may get the pair of us into a lot of trouble... and to top of the shitty couple of days I have been having I manage to show up almost a hour late to training which will definitely mean more trouble for me today.

"And look who has finally graced us with her presence." Tadius, our trainer for the day, says after the door slams behind me. "We were just about to do weapons combat and would love for you to be first."

Without saying a word I pick up a mid-length sword with a long hilt and walk to the middle of the mats.

"Clove, go."

Perfect, I need to beat the shit out of her anyway. She seems to have no respect for the fact that Cato and I have been together for over three years.

She smirks her little she-demon smirk, and I resist the urge to just drop my sword and punch her in the face, she picks up her daggers and almost growls "Ready to get your ass handed to you, Valina."

I laugh out right and twirl my sword a couple times, "Please little girl, I could win this with my eyes closed." and with that I get into position cause I know she'll make the first move.

As I guessed, she lunged at me first, daggers at the ready. All too quickly I threw her off balance, tossing her on her back and placing the tip of my blade on her throat purposely nicking her a little bit.

Tadius blows his whistle, "Feeling vicious today aren't you Val?"

I feel Cato watching me while I let her up and put the sword away, "I don't feel good and her existence pisses me off. It was a win/win for me. Can I go home now?"

Tadius gave me a disbelieving look but I was already half way out of the room. The second the door closes behind me I am sprinting down the hall to the bathroom. I vaguely hear the door open and someone following me but I am already in the bathroom stall as my breakfast comes up faster then it had gone down.

I feel my boyfriend's hand rubbing my back and the other holding my hair back. A few minutes later, after I was sure there was nothing left, I slumped back against the wall.

"Are you good now?" he asked sitting across from me, concern written across his face.

"I'm sick."

He laughed and sarcastically said, "I figured that much. What are you sick with?"

"I don't know." I said standing up and walking out the door leaving him behind me.

I heard him sigh and follow me. "Val, what is wrong?"

There it was, the question I have been ignoring answering the last two days I've been throwing up. I can't lie to him. I haven't ever been able to. He always had seen through my lies. He never gets mad that I lie; he thinks its funny cause of how bad at it I am. The first time I ever lied to him we were 16 and in our first fight I told him I hated him. He told me to stop lying because we both know that I loved him. It took me another 3 months to be able to say those words to him.

"Valina, answer me." He said forcing me to look at him.

"Cato" I said his name in the same tone he said mine in, "You really don't want to know. At least until the games are over." I gently pried his hands off of my face and tried to walk away but he kept his hold on my hands.

He pulls me back to him "No, you're going to tell me now."

"Really, it's nothing I just have a b-"

Cato growls at me. "Don't fucking lie to me." He is pissed, I can feel it in the grip he has on my hands. "You just threw up in the bathroom, after showing up an hour late to training, but really its nothing."

I refuse to look him in the eye, but I knew he could tell I was crying because he took his hand and was wiping at my cheek, "It's not even for sure yet. I could really just be sick but I'm scared and the doctor said it could just be stress form the games but I don't know it doesn't feel that way-"

"Babe, you're rambling." He cut me off a slight laugh in his voice but I couldn't see the humor in this.

I took a deep breath, "Promise me you will stay calm."

"I promise" he said and locked his pinky with my own.

"Cato… they think I'm pregnant.'