Author's Note: Hi All! So this is my first Skins fanfic (though i'm pretty sure i've read ever Naomily fic on here). I've written a bunch of stuff for other fandoms but inevitably end up forgetting my password to those accounts once I've finished the story. Anyway, I wanted to write something about Fire (which I'm still getting emotional about)
This takes place starting right before the end of Fire and will continue past the end. That's all I can say without spoiling it. Hope you enjoy :)
Obviously I don't own Skins.
"Shoes off ma'am," snaps the TSA officer as I go to walk through the X-ray screening machine.
"Sorry," I mutter, my voice hoarse from screaming profanities at the world. I'd been sitting in kitchen with my flatmates, Maxxie and Evan when Effy had called.
"Ems your phone," Maxxie nodded to my mobile sitting on the counter as it rang out some annoying preset ringtone. I shoveled a spoonful of Cheerios into my mouth and glared at Evan, daring him to even try and steal a bite as I jumped up and hurried to pick up the phone.
"Hello!" I answered, without looking at the caller ID. The only ones who called my mobile were Chris and Evan and my boss. Everyone back in England tended to email or Skype me, it was less expensive and international calling fees were crazy.
"Emily..it's Effy," came the voice on the other end of the line. The camera on Naomi's laptop had broken so she hadn't been able to Skype me in a while, I hadn't even heard Effys voice since the airport after my surprise visit home.
"Hey Eff! What's up?" I responded, not having yet caught onto Effys tone. I was going to be meeting this well famous photographer that afternoon and had been bubbling with excitement all morning.
"Emily," Effys voice was serious and I could hear her take a deep breath. She'd never been one for many words, but something about this pause made my skin prickle, my stomach churn in anticipation. "You need to come home. Naomi needs you."
My brain started racing. Something had happened. I was set to come home in three weeks for the holidays, but Effy wouldn't call me if it wasn't important. Something had happened to Naomi. I try and remember the last time we'd spoken. Her emails had become less frequent. The last time we had skyped she'd high off her tits. Fuck. What if she's overdosed? Or gotten herself in some sort of trouble?
"Emily..are you still there?" Came the voice on the other end.
"Wh-what happened?" I finally managed to croak out.
I could practically hear my friend's brain whirring, figuring out which words would be best to use. "N-Naomi sh-she's been sick f-or a while," I'd never heard Effy stutter before, "She doesn't have much time left. She's got cancer Emily." If it had been anyone else, I would have assumed there were playing a joke, but Effy didn't joke. My phone slid out of my hand and clattered to the ground, shattering. For a moment I was silent, staring into space, my mind blank. For one blissful moment there was nothing, the world didn't exist. Then, reality hurtled back towards me and the entire cosmos shattered.
I let out an ear splitting scream and fell to the ground. "No! No! No!" I yelled over and over, clawing at the ground below me. Maxxie's arms were around me barely a moment later and he pulled me into his lap, stroking my hair.
"Call Effy back on my phone and find out what the fuck she said," Maxxie demanded of his boyfriend. I clawed at the neckline of his shirt and dug my nails into the skin I found there while I continued to shout out profanities, my cheeks soaked with tears I hadn't even realized had been to fall. I don't know if time stopped entirely or if we jumped an hour forward, but the next thing I knew,I had she'd all the tears I was physically capable of crying. I was still shaking as I looked up at Maxxie, who had yet to let me go, despite the blood my nails had drawn.
"Emily..do you want me to go with you? Evan was able to find one ticket for a flight this afternoon, but I can try and fly standby."
Cancer. No time. Naomi. Dying. The words repeating over and over in my head like a mantra as I shook my head. I had to do this alone.
I don't know how I had made it to the airport. Actually, that's not true. Evan and Maxxie were how I'd made it. While Maxxie had held me as I sobbed for an hour, Evan had called Effy who'd told him and Maxxie the news. Evan had then immediately booked me a flight and had packed a suitcase for me. I knew they were still watching me as I went through security. I took my shoes off and proceeded through the scanner.
It was like my brain had turned off, going through the actions without thinking. I couldn't think without the tears. And if I got hysterical in the Kidd of the terminal, they'd surely never let me board the plane.
Cancer. No time. Naomi. Dying.
I don't know how I slept the entire plane ride. Maybe my body was just too exhausted to fight, or maybe it just knew I'd likely never truly be able to sleep again.
All I'd brought was my carry on so I hadn't needed to go to the baggage carousel. Instead, I headed out in search of Effy. Effy. She'd known. She'd known for a while. Naomi had been sick for a while. That's why we hadn't skyped. And Effy had know. She's known and had said fuck all to me. All that precious time she'd stolen from me
I don't know if Effy had said any sort of greeting to me as I saw her there, dressed to the nines, a frigid bitch. All I knew was how satisfying it felt to hear the slap of skin again skin as my hand made contact with her face.
As we made our way through the familiar London streets, I felt the tears prickling again. We finally came to a stop in the ambulance bay and I turned to look at Effy. I hate her then. I hate her for not telling me. For keeping her from me. I opened the door and stepped out. Effy made a move to follow me and I say with all the conviction I have left, "Stay where you are." My voice is shaky, I don't know how much longer I can hold it together. "Do you not think you've already taken enough from me as it is? You.." I sigh, I don't even know how to put it all into words. "You didn't even deserve this time with her. You stole it from me."
Cancer. No time. Naomi. Dying.
Effy stole her, she stole time from me. She stole time from my Naomi. The brunette starts to defend herself but I cut her off, "I'll never forgive you for this," I assert. "Never." I slam the door on her face and turn towards the hospital.
Even after I find the Oncology wing and a nurse tells me Naomi's room number, I wander aimlessly around the halls. I'm not ready. I can't see her yet. I hate her. I hate her for not telling me, for not letting me be there for her. I need to be there. I need to see her. But I can't. I don't know yet what it is I'll be seeing, and I don't yet know how to prepare myself for what's to come.
It must have been at least an hour later that I finally find myself in front of Naomi's room. Effy's there. I don't know where she went after dropping me off, but she's back now. I shake my head as I look through the window at the girl lying on the bed. She'd so fragile, her head covered with only small tufts of brown hair. I don't recognise her. Not entirely. But I do. Because how could I not? How could I not recognise Naomi. My Naomi.
Cancer. No time. Naomi. Dying.
"I can't go in," I say to the girl standing beside me. I look at her. I hate her, but I need her. She loves Naomi too. "I just. I just need some more time." My voice is so shaky. I almost don't recognise it.
"There isn't anymore time Emily," Effy's soft voice responds, voicing what I already know. What I wish I didn't. I wish time would stop. That it wouldn't keep facing towards that inevitable moment when I know I'll lose her. When I'll lose Naomi.
"I'm so angry with her," my voices is still shaking, but it's stronger. Time's not stopping, it's speeding quite quickly away from us. She should have told me. Naomi should have told me.
"She's dying Emily."
The soft, true tones of my friend's voice cut straight to my core. I know she's dying, because I can feel myself dying along side her. "I know," I manage to croak out. I'm crying again. My shoulders are shaking and my voice is already so hoarse from crying and shouting. Effy pushed back my hair, comforting me like a mother would her child. I hold tight to her and the sobs continue to wrack my body. I can't breathe. I need to breath. Effy's hand is on my shoulder and I clutch it like a lifeline.
"Look at me," she says strongly. Breathe. I need to breathe. "Be strong. You need to be strong for her like she was strong for you." I'm breathing. I need to breathe. For her. I can do this for her. I could, would do anything for her. I breathe out. My breath is nearly steady now.
I turn towards the door and walk into the room that reeks of death. I drop my bag beside her bed as she moves her head. I think she's asleep. She looks so fragile, that were I to touch her, she would break. I lift up the covers that lay atop her and slide under them. Her translucent eyelids slide open, and it takes her a moment to understand what is going on. I don't know if it's the pain medication, or the pain itself, but she's fighting against something, fighting against it to see me.
"Emily.." Her voice is so soft and hoarse that I barely hear it.
"I'm here, I'm here." I wrap an arm around her and feel the cold reality of her frail, bony body. It's too much. I curl into her chest and start sobbing. This time she wraps an arm around me, trying to comfort me. Isn't it me supposed to be comforting her? But I can't. Because she's dying and there's no time. There's no time for impromptu trips. No time for making love slowly on the beach. No time for getting married at some cheap hotel. No time for buying our first home. No time for the two children we'd both agreed we wanted. No time for laughing at each other's first gray hair. No time for going to every country in the world together. No time for growing old together.
No time.