Set a few weeks after 4x15 when Kim has been by Amanda's flat. Mild spoiler for 4x15 but nothing that will ruin SVU for you! As is the norm none of it is mine it all belongs to NBC/Dick Wolf and the gang. I just borrow them to play.
Furniture was now becoming an issue. She couldn't deny the pain in her lower back any longer. Fin was getting sick of her the sound of moaning getting out of the car or sitting down at her desk or getting up from an interrogation.
Finally at his wits end she heard him call after her as she left for the evening, moaning as she tried to put her jacket on; "Manda either you go get yourself some furniture this weekend or I'm going to the tip next weekend with a U-Haul and you're gona take whatever I find and live with it. Kapeesh?"
Amanda laughed and tried to nod her head – inhaling sharply at the pull on her neck; she was pretty sure her partner was serious.
"Ok big man, I promise"
Olivia was just coming in out of the cold autumnal air. She heard the exchange and was amazed Rollins hadn't managed to sort stuff out since her sister had wrecked the place.
"Amanda, listen, I've a lock up full of stuff from the couple of apartments I've lived in and my Mom's place. My apartments have gotten progressively smaller and more minimal so I've a lot of stuff. If you want you can have a look through it all and take anything you like.
"Take her please Liv" Fin hollered from his desk. Amanda glowered at him. "I'm telling you Rollins, uni's are starting to think you and I are having some kind of thing cause every time we roll up to a scene you get out moaning. So unless you want that rumour to keep going take Liv up on her offer"
Olivia laughed. "I think that's one rumour you might want to stop dead"
Amanda thought for a few moments. She really did need stuff.
"I'll pay you for anything"
"Don't be daft Amanda, it's never going to be used. I'd be happy to see it go to a good home. And half of it will probably be junk you don't want anyway."
"I can't really Olivia. It's your stuff"
"Amanda, it'll never be used". Olivia was sad to admit to herself that she was probably never going to have the big house with the husband and 2.4 kids that she'd need all the stuff for. She was getting a bit lost in her thoughts and Amanda noticed as she touched her arm.
"Ok I owe you coffee for a month though, no arguments!"
"Not going to hear any argument from me if I'm getting free coffee lady. Hey listen you're off tomorrow?" She patted the hand on her arm and Amanda withdrew it. Olivia's hands were warm even though she'd been out in the freezing cold. Warm-blooded Amanda thought to herself. Wonder if all of her is that hot? The second more rational voice in her head interrupted that train of thought with a far more pressured 'answer her question for the love of God!'
Liv was looking at her wondering where she had gone when Amanda finally answered; "Sure am"
"I can bring you out. I've been meaning to go out there for a while to search for some old photos I wanted to make an album of"
"Liv I can't ask you to drive and take all your stuff too"
"You'd be doing me a favour. Finally make me get over there and do what I've been meaning to do for years. Guy across the hall from me rents vans, trucks and other moving stuff. I'll knock in tonight and grab a set of keys. We can borrow a van and bring anything you want back. I can pick you up around 8 – is that okay?"
"If you're sure?"
"Course. I'll be here till around 10. I've got some paper work to finish up after that last interview. Plenty of time to get home call in on my neighbour and then get some sleep. So I'll see you at 8?"
"Thanks Liv, I really appreciate it"
As Amanda walked towards the door she heard Fin say "Praise the Lord" as Olivia laughed.
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At 8 on the dot Amanda heard a knock on her door. She'd made coffee to make sure they had sufficient energy for the days lifting and dragging.
When she opened the door Olivia was standing there, far too awake for 8 in the morning wearing stonewashed denims that sit perfectly on her hips, a pink tank top and a loose white shirt, hair pulled back in a ponytail. Amanda welcomed her in and the detective did a quick scout of the flat as Amanda did a quick study of her ass in the tight stonewashed denim.
There was a mattress on the living room floor adorned with a few blankets and a pillow. Plastic boxes storing some clothes and shoes were beside them.
The kitchen counter had some plates piled up and cutlery was in a mug. Amanda stood scuffing the toe of her boots on the ground. She'd opted for an old Atlanta P.D baseball style shirt they'd used for their team games and black combat trousers.
"You've been living like this for how long?"
"About a month"
She handed Olivia a cup of coffee "Think yourself lucky I'm trusting you with that, it's one of only 3 mugs I have. Kim decided to smash most of the dishes as well just for kicks. She also took a baseball bat to some mirrors and smashed up my drawers too.
"God Amanda, what, I mean why?"
She knew Olivia meant why had Kim done it but she didn't have the energy to answer that right now, it was too early in the morning. So she gave an easier answer.
"Just haven't had time"
Olivia looked around again "You've been sleeping on the floor"
"On a mattress"
"Your clothes are in a box"
"Hang em in the bathroom while I shower, good as an iron for steaming them"
"So anything I come with you're going to have an answer for?"
Amanda smiled "Got it in one". She ducked her head again as she looked around as she took in her meagre existence "I just wanted to forget it Liv. Forget she'd been here. My whole life she's taken things from me; money, boyfriends, clothes. Says I took being a cop away from her because she wanted to do it first. Would have liked to see her pass the psych eval. I figured if I didn't put it back together this time she couldn't break it"
Olivia walked over and put her arm around Amanda's shoulder causing her to shiver slightly, in turn causing Olivia to squeeze tighter. A day of close proximity to the woman she was rapidly developing a crush on probably wasn't the best activity for a day off. But Fin and Olivia were right; she needed furniture.
"I'm sorry Amanda. It must be tough. I grew up on my own so I didn't understand the whole sibling thing until later in life"
Amanda looked at her hesitant to ask but she had never heard Olivia mention brothers and sisters before.
"Brother I met a few years back. Long story"
Amanda just nodded. She saw in Olivia eyes that much like she didn't want to talk about Kim right now, Olivia didn't want to talk about whoever it was that appeared in her life. She changed the topic quickly. "Right lets hit the road. We can swap war stories on the way if you're so inclined" Amanda smiled as they finished the last mouthfuls of coffee and headed for the van.
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They didn't really chat on the forty-minute drive, preferring to listen to the radio and ridicule what constituted music in today's charts.
"I was raised on mostly Blues – reflects my mother's constant melancholy approach to life I suppose" Olivia didn't realise she was sharing, it was just an observation based on the song on the radio. But Amanda was listening intently. She looked over at the brunette but she kept her eyes on the road. She figured it was her turn to share
"Well as you can imagine I was raised on a lot of Patsy Kline. However I mostly ignored it because with music came my mother and father dancing drunkenly around the kitchen knocking over the furniture and vases and plates and then in their hung-over state in the morning blaming Kim and I and giving us a smack"
Olivia took her eyes off the road for a few seconds at that point to look at the blonde who averted her gaze
"Did it happen often?"
"Couple of times a month when they had the money to drink. We survived. Kim learned to fight back and was excused for her 'troubles'. I learned to fight back and got kicked out. Was fine by me. Don't get me wrong it wasn't the worst childhood ever. Just the usual when you throw drink in the mix"
Olivia knew too well. She nodded in agreement and said simply "I know" glancing at Amanda again to catch blue eyes recognising all too well that she did.
"Ah we've about two minutes drive left. I need to warn you there is an awful lot of junk in this place" Olivia was determined to change the topic.
"It's ok I share the other half of a desk with Fin remember, I'm used to it"
They laughed as Olivia pulled the van into the lot in front of the storage facility.
She picked up the keys from the main office and they drove to the storage-locker. When Olivia pushed the door up the stale air made it clear there had been no one here in a very long time.
Amanda coughed and Olivia laughed, "I did warn you blondie"
"Did you just call me blondie? You know I used to beat up anyone who called me blondie when I was a kid". In reality Amanda was doing a little happy dance in her head at how cute it sounded coming out of the gorgeous brunette's mouth.
Olivia continued to laugh as she took the first tentative switch inside to find the light switch as she fumbled around on the wall. Suddenly the light came on overhead.
"Always check outside. Am I allowed to call you blondie based on your intelligence as opposed to your hair colour" Amanda walked around the corner and smiled caught off guard as Olivia shoved her playfully.
"I'll have you done for assault detective – be very careful"
"In order to assault you I'd have to do a lot more blondie" Olivia moved quick and missed the slap Amanda aimed at her arm.
They both took in the interior of the storage locker.
Amanda whistled low "How many times did you move again?"
"Em, twice. But my Mom's stuff is here too. Should have thrown it out but…"
Amanda wasn't going to look for her to finish that sentence. She knew that grief did funny things to people.
"Okay so where do we start?"
"We? Oh no I got you here. Now we have two different tasks"
"I'll do you a deal. You sort through this disaster area with me and I'll sort through those pictures with you and scan them so you have copies.
Olivia smiled. She liked the idea of spending more time with Amanda. She nodded "You've got a deal"
They began to rummage through the boxes that made up Serena and Olivia Benson's lives. Amanda identified a bedframe that would fit her mattress, a pair of bedside lockers, a coffee table, a kitchen table and two chairs, two armchairs, a mirror and a TV table that she could use. She questioned Olivia again on whether she was sure it was ok for her to just take this stuff and Olivia assured her again that it wouldn't be of any use to her.
As she moved the stuff they were taking towards the front of the lock up Olivia found a set of shelves and beside it boxes of books and photo albums that it used to contain. She sat on the other mattress in the crowded space and began to flick through them. Amanda sat beside her on the mattress and took one of the albums.
"Mind if I have a look?"
"No, go ahead. But if there's any incriminating photos in here I'll deny everything"
Amanda laughed as she flicked through the album which were more recent photos of Olivia, she read 2000-2001 on the inside cover.
It was mostly scenic photos; Olivia appeared to have a hidden talent for photography. Towards the end she found some photos from what looked like a staff Christmas party and began to laugh.
"So that's what Munch looks like with hair?" Olivia leaned in to look at the photos Amanda was flicking through.
"Yeah, he kept Brylcreme in business a decade ago"
"Fin hasn't aged"
"Not a day. Proof positive that this job takes it toll but you'll survive with a bit of moisturiser. Do not tell him I told you he used moisturiser or I'll be doing his paperwork for a fortnight"
Amanda laughed. "I already knew. Caught him one morning when he thought no one was there slapping it on". She kept flicking through the photos.
"Who's the blonde?"
Olivia didn't need to look at the photos to know who Amanda was talking about.
"ADA Alex Cabot"
"Oh yeah I heard her name around. Sounds like she was a bit of a badass, got things done regardless. Came back from the dead or something?"
Amanda flicked the pages to the end, stopped talking suddenly and abruptly closed the album.
"Naked pic of Munch?"
Amanda shook her head. "Ugh, God no, tell me that doesn't exist?"
"No, God no! Well not that I have a copy of anyway. What made you close it like it bit you?"
She reluctantly handed the album to Olivia who opened it on the last page. The two pockets contained a photo and a note, her name written on the front of the latter in familiar script. The photo was taken in Paris along the Seine with the sun setting. Olivia remembered Alex saying it was the perfect place for a picture. They were kissing, Alex's arm resting on Olivia's shoulders, the photo slightly askew because of the angle of the camera.
Olivia removed the note, her hands shaking. It read
Livy,
A memory of us in Paris. The best holiday of my life. I hope you find it some rainy day when you're sorting through your photos and it makes you smile.
All My Love,
Alex xx
Tears began to fall as she folded the note and put it back into the clear plastic pocket of the album, closing it on the photo that flooded her with so many memories. Amanda moved beside her and put her arm around her, Olivia's head resting on her shoulder. Olivia wasn't sure why she was so affected by the picture but it stirred up emotions she'd long since supressed.
"She was special" It wasn't a really a question, more of a statement but she felt Olivia nod against her shoulder. She heard Olivia whisper through tears
"No one knows, please don't…"
Amanda cut her off, "I wouldn't ever Liv. Your life is your life. I told you stuff today I know won't go back to the 1-6, you can rest assured the same goes"
"Thank You"
She felt a soft kiss on the top of her head.
"Are you and Alex in contact?"
"Only by e-mail occasionally" As if to answer an unasked question she said "We're not together anymore"
"Her loss"
Olivia gave a small laugh, "You think?"
"I do think. I think anyone that has a chance to have you and lets you go is crazy. I know if I had that chance I'd do everything in my power to keep you"
Olivia was slightly surprised by the admission but she was also slightly relieved that the little sparks she'd felt between her and Rollins over the last while weren't in her imagination.
"You're very sweet Amanda. But trust me I come with baggage no sane person would want"
"Hmm woman with issues. I've never met one before" Amanda pulled Olivia tighter against her "It's ok Liv. You can't do our job and not have issues. And I don't know the whole story. But I'm guessing your family, bit like mine didn't help much with the issues; more likely they contributed to them.
Olivia let out a hollow laugh "Something like that yeah"
"I'll tell you what, when we get back you buy dinner, I'll buy beer or wine or both and while we scan these photos you can tell me who they are and whether they deserve to do time and I'll see if I can match you tale of woe for tale of woe. Sound good?"
"Sounds wonderful". They laughed at the absurdness of it but equally both were enthusiastic to share, hoping that in sharing they would become closer and maybe it would take some weight off.
Amanda's stomach rumbled and they took it as an indication it was time to hit the road. Grabbing the album containing the photo of her and Alex and another two of childhood memories she threw them in the front of the van as they began to load the stuff for Amanda's apartment into the back. It took them half an hour to squeeze everything in and by the time they finished they agreed it was a good idea to wait until tomorrow to unpack. By default they headed to Olivia's for dinner since Amanda's new table was still technically in storage. The sun was setting as they drove back into the city and there was a companionable silence filled by soft country music as both women stole sly glances when they thought the other didn't see. They both noticed.
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Dinner was a quick affair because Amanda wanted to get down to the job of scanning the photos and making an online collage that Olivia could get printed on canvas in a store.
As she removed the photos she looked at a particular photo of Olivia in a peppermint green dress, her hair tied in bunches with green ribbons trying to tame the curls. The unmistakable smile really hadn't changed in all the years since the photo was taken. She thought about what cute kids Olivia would have as she felt a she felt a hand on her shoulder causing her to jump.
"Sorry didn't mean to frighten you. Was just curious what you'd found. Although in fairness you found the only secret I had from everyone in my life earlier so you can't find much worse"
Amanda stood to put the photo of Olivia with her bunches into the scanner and walked to sit on the edge of the desk in the spare room sitting down.
"I'm sorry Liv. I honestly wasn't trying to pry"
"No it's fine, I told you to look through them. I didn't know that was there"
"I reiterate my earlier point Benson. She was crazy to let you go"
Olivia blushed at the compliment. She took a tentative step forward; unsure whether she was reading this right, but wanting to try. She realised after seeing the photo of her and Alex it had been too long since she'd allowed herself to have fun and enjoy time with someone else.
She watched the blonde push up off the desk and meet her. Feeling a hand tuck her hair behind her ear Amanda leaned into the taller detective and kissed her softly, feeling Olivia moan into the kiss, moving her hands low to rest on her hips. The hands moved onto her ass and into her trouser pockets. She pulled the blonde as far as she could against her, revelling in the soft mouth that was devouring her. Her eyes, which closed the minute, their lips touched opened and she smiled into the kiss as she saw the concentration on Amanda's face. Amanda pulled back and looked into the beautiful brown eyes studying her.
"What you smiling about Benson?"
"How cute you are when you're concentrating. The little frown line that appears right here" Olivia placed her finger on a tiny crease between Amanda's eyebrows.
"You telling me I have wrinkles" Amanda laughed as Olivia squeezed her ass through her pockets.
"No I'm telling you you think far too much. Stop concentrating and just feel. Come with me"
Olivia took her hand and led her to her bedroom. Amanda stopped at the door and Olivia felt the tug on her hand.
"You ok?"
Amanda nodded but her body language was betraying her.
"We don't have to Mand, we can just talk, just kiss. Whatever you want. We don't have to do anything. You can leave if you want"
Amanda felt guilty for making Olivia panic. She took one step into the room and beckoned the detective to her. Olivia stepped into the arms that encircled her instantly laying her head on Amanda's shoulder listening as she whispered into her ear.
"It's none of those things. And it's not that I don't want to Liv, believe me, it's not that. I just need you to know if we start this I'm not gona be able to stop. And not just tonight"
Olivia nodded as she sucked gently on the earlobe she encountered as she lifted her head "not just tonight" she whispered as she licked around the shell of soft skin and placed a soft kiss on the side of Amanda's head.
Amanda reached down and began to undo the buttons on Olivia's white shirt but was thrown off kilter when she felt the brunette run her warm hands up under her top, lifting it over her arms and off in one swift movement. Dropping it on the floor Olivia moved her hands back down to cup Amanda's breasts. Amanda had forgotten the last time someone had touched her breasts, played with her nipples like Olivia was now. It felt so good and she couldn't suppress the long groan as Olivia opened her bra and took a hard pink nipple into her mouth.
Without warning she felt Olivia push her towards the bed. She fell onto the mattress, legs dangling over the edge, hands pulling her forwards so that her pelvis was sitting right on the edge of the bed. Olivia stood removing her shirt and straddled her on the edge of the bed for a moment leaning in to kiss her hard, sucking on her tongue as she pinched her nipples hard. Amanda screamed into the kiss as she felt Olivia move her hand quickly into her trousers and underwear dipping a middle finger into gathering wetness making a quick line from her clit to her opening and removing it almost as quick.
When Olivia leaned back on her knees she smiled to see the blonde struggling to breathe from the assault on her senses. She waited until Amanda opened her eyes in fear Olivia had changed her mind. Once blue eyes were watching her Olivia sucked her finger into her mouth, tasting her new lover and winked in reassurance. "I'm just getting started"
She stood and lifted Amanda's hips off the bed pulling her combats and panties off as she resumed her kneeling position on the floor. Taking a deep breath to smell the sweet tang of arousal she leaned in to take her first taste. Moving her tongue in a circular motion around Amanda's clit she felt the smaller woman's feet find her shoulder's trying to gain some leverage to push into the tongue that was torturing her. But Olivia was determined to do this right, to take her time and pleasure Amanda until she couldn't take it anymore.
"Liv, Liv, Liv?" Amanda was pleading with her lover to answer her. Olivia eventually removed her mouth to look up at the blonde who had shifted into an upright position leaning on her elbows.
"You ok sweetheart?"
"I need you up here with me Liv. I need to see you"
Olivia stood up without a moment's hesitation and lifted Amanda's legs to swing her around onto the bed. Taking a position along side the blonde rather than on top of her she felt the less dominating position might reassure the blonde. She turned the blonde onto her side as well and pulled her in for a long languid kiss, placing a hand on her hip.
"We don't have to do this Mand"
Amanda shook her head slightly. "I want to Liv. It's not that". I just get a bit freaked out my first time with someone if I can't see them. Ever since…"
"I know, I'm sorry I should have thought"
"No it's not you darlin' it's me"
Olivia leaned in for another kiss and pulled back slightly to ask permission. Amanda nodded her consent and Olivia lifted her leg so it rested on her hip. She kept eye contact as she reached back down into the wetness that was now coating pale thighs. She felt Amanda arch into her touch as she began to slowly massage her lips, running wetness into every small crevice and taking her time paying attention to every small part of her. She kept her eyes on Amanda at all times, watching for signs of distress.
"You ok?" The simple statement made Amanda's breath catch in her throat but she nodded with a smile to reassure her lover.
She leaned in for a kiss as Olivia's fingers sped up circling her clit and continuing down towards her know soaked thighs and inwards.
Olivia watched blue eyes close and breathing hitch indicating Amanda's impending orgasm. She wanted to feel it completely so she eased two fingers gently into the copious wetness. Amanda's eyes opened immediately and she leaned back to kiss the brunette as she whispered
"Oh fuck Liv, yes, that's it, oh, oh…"
Olivia felt the most ferocious kiss on her lips as walls began to clench around her fingers. Amanda pulled out of the kiss after a few seconds to try and catch her breath.
"I've got you, I've got you Mand". The blonde was shaking in her arms breathing quickly, trying to get some air back into her lungs.
After a few minutes she felt the blonde curl right into her, leg falling off her hip, mouth on her neck kissing gently.
"Holy hell Benson, if I'd known those fingers was so skilled I would have done this a long time ago". They laughed as Amanda moved to kiss down Olivia's neck across her collarbone and down to her breasts.
"Mmm, perfect" Amanda was going to enjoy this, of that she was sure. She took a pebbled nipped into her mouth, taking the other one and pinching it between two fingers. Olivia moaned long and low as she felt the blonde kiss lower, teasing her by pushing her tongue into her belly button, swirling it around for effect.
"Blondie, now is not the time to tease" She was thankful Amanda took the threat seriously. Moving lower she felt her lover settle between her thighs kissing each one gently before looking up into the coffee coloured eyes studying her. She saw Olivia nod.
Taking both her thumbs Amanda spread Olivia's labia and immediately spotted her protruding clit. Taking the nub between her lips sucking hungrily she was almost thrown off by the sudden thrust of Olivia's hips into her mouth. She smiled as she swiped her tongue through wetness that was dripping. She was astounded she was having this effect but she was also ridiculously happy as well.
Removing her thumbs so that Olivia's sensitive clit could hide for a bit she slipped her index finger inside joined quickly by a second.
"Oh Mand, fuck, yes, fuck me"
As Amanda began a slowly pump in and out she found there was room for a third finger. When she entered with three fingers Olivia screamed and Amanda feared she had hurt her but she heard "so fucking good" from the other end of the bed and figured she was safe.
Speeding up and curling her fingers at a perfect angle to locate Olivia's g spot, she placed her thumb on her clit and was rewarded with an almighty shudder as the brunette screamed her name, cuming hard. Amanda watched in awe as Olivia breathed heavily. She didn't dare move as Olivia rode out her orgasm, pressing down slightly on still fingers to ride out the last of the aftershocks.
Amanda waited minutes before moving again and when she did she left her fingers in place. Olivia shivered at the sudden movement of the blonde back up her body kissing and biting little spots as she moved.
"Mand baby you're gona have to take those fingers out or they're going to kill me"
Amanda obliged and she reached Olivia's face in perfect time for her to see her lick the remnants of their love making from her fingers. Olivia moaned as the blonde leaned in to kiss her allowing her to taste herself on her tongue.
"Good?"
"Eh, slight understatement Georgia Peach"
"Oh you cannot keep calling me that. It's awful"
"Now that I know you hate it I'll be even more inclined to use it. You've a lot to learn about me and how I work detective"
"I intend on finding out every little bit of it Yankee"
"That the best you can come up with?"
"Give me time. I'll think of something more original"
Olivia rolled them over so she was straddling the blonde low on her hips. "Let's see what you scream out when I have my mouth on you again and you can use that for a while"
"You want to be called 'fuck' really?"
Olivia laughed as she leaned in to capture Amanda's lips "Only in the bedroom".