TITLE: Bad Veggies
SUMMARY: Team 7 and Iruka are at Naruto's apartment, when all of a sudden Sakura makes a horrible mistake and releases ... IT! And another happy birthday!^_~
WARNINGS: Not for ppl sympathetic to veggies; oneshot; MAJOR CRACK ALERT!
CHARACTERS: Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura
"Hi, Kakashi, your late again!" Sakura yelled as Kakashi entered Naruto's little apartment.
"Sorry," He smiled rubbing the back of his head and setting a package on the floor along with 3 others. "My ninken needed more water and they only drink Desani".
"You're kidding" Sasuke glared disbelievingly, " what the hell do they drink on missions?"
" Things must get pretty expensive, " A soft voice murmured from the kitchen.
"No Iruka, with a jonin's salary I get enough to splurge," Kakashi smiled into the tiny kitchen at Iruka.
"Geez, I can barely afford a cat," Iruka grumbled back picking though Naruto's fridge and tossing rather sick looking containers into a large trash bag.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked raising one obsidian eyebrow.
"Cleaning out the fridge, some of this stuff is several years old!" Iruka explained, and then pulled a face as he removed a green fuzzy hunk of cheese from the fridge and dropping it into the trash bag.
"Eww..." Kakashi commented shortly.
"Kakashi you made it!" Naruto squealed happily, glomping his second favorite teacher "it's been forever since I've seen you, lika whole week! You should have been there yesterday when we were making cards for Yod- Iruka! What are you doing?" Naruto cut off suddenly a look of horror covering his face.
"...Uh, cleaning?" Iruka replied cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy.
"Yeah and it's pretty bad too, you should clean more Naruto its gross," Sakura scolded as she pulled the lip off a random Tupperware dish.
"NO!" Naruto yelled, but it was too late!
"AARRGGGAAHH" a horrifying scream of anger shattered the happy atmosphere.
"OH MY GOD!" Sakura screamed, dropping the dish on the counter and jumping behind Iruka.
"SOTP DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!" Naruto yelled jumping across the counter to restrain the gurgling mass that was emanating a monstrous aura.
"WHAT RHE FLYING -XXXX- WAS THAT?" Sasuke yelled from the table. He had jumped onto it in his haste to escape the wrath of whatever that thing was!
"IS THAT THE ZUKINI KAKASHI GOT YOU AS A JOKE FOR CHRISTMAS 3 YARS AGO?" Iruka yelled in shock. He was trying to pull Sakura off his waist.
"IT'S GROWN ITS OWN CHAKRA SIGN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Kakashi exclaimed flailing his arms.
"Well ... yeah," Naruto groaned trying to force the lid back down, "but-"
"AAARRRGGGAAH! I WANT YOUR SOUL!" The zucchini screamed and attempted to escape the prison facility that was the Tupperware dish.
"HELP!"Naruto yelped as the green slimy goop made a go at him.
Iruka Jummped to his aid while Sakura ran to the door screaming.
"OH GOD! HELP! WHY WON'T THE DOOR OPEN!" She screamed while she pulled on the push door.(ID10T)
The slimy yet strangely fuzzy thing managed to make its way across the cabinet and approach Sasuke and Kakashi.
"HOLY-"Sasuke jumped back while Kakashi fell back onto the table.
"Help!"Iruka yelped as the fuzzy slime wrapped itself around his hand and arm.
"I GOT IT ...GRRAAHH... NO, NO I DONT! KAKASHI!" Naruto exclaimed as the slime began to climb his arms too. All the time screaming for souls!
"Right," Kakashi righted himself on the table and prepared himself for a fire jutsu, "Don't move!"
Kakashi carefully blew flames over the green fuzzy slime covering Naruto and Iruka's arms.
"NOOOO! AARRGGGHH!" it gurgled painfully as it retreated into the Tupperware dish.
"HURRY SASUKE, TOSS ME THE DUCK TAPE!" Naruto called to his teammate who was already tossing it to him.
Kakashi and Iruka held the lid down as Narutjo tapped the thing shut, then tapped the whole thing all over, just to be on the safe side. They were all quite fond of their souls thank you very much!
"What were you thinking? Letting that thing grow into that?" Sasuke growled at the blonde, pulling him up so that they were nose to nose.
"Look, it tasted nasty so I tried to mix it with ramen then it tasted worse, so I added some health pills, to try and convince myself it was like an energy thing, but it was just so nasty!" Naruto explained pulled a face.
"You ok, Iruka?" Kakashi asked tossing the now tapped up till hell freezes over and the devil comes to claim his prize, Tupperware dish into the fridge. Hopefully it will decide to lie dormant a few more years...
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks to you!" Iruka smiled warmly at Kakashi.
Kakashi blushed slightly, "aw it was nuthin."
"Why...Wouldn't... The door...OPEN!" Sakura cried. She had by this point sunk to the floor.
Sasuke just rolled his eyes at her, the only one who did nothing... of course. "Push" He growled.
"... Oh" Sakura gently pushed the door open a crack. Naruto snickered.
"Where were we?" Kakashi interrupted.
"Ah, yes! I brought the cake!" Iruka smiled and returned to the kitchen.
"Everybody has their gifts?" Kakashi smiled.
"Yeah!" Sakura yelled, and Sasuke nodded the affirmative.
"Great! Now everyone!" Iruka smiled as he walked in and set a huge birthday cake on the table. Everyone gathered around and even Sasuke managed a real smile.
"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear Naruto,
Happy Birthday to you!"