Name's Julie.That's all I'm tellin ya as of now.As of ever.You messn withn me an Illa kick yas pathetic ass. Kat says wes gotsa write all this down so somebody members an knows.I's no writer,but I's learn quick.Katsn smartest, quickest phsycotic bitch on these ere streets,outsa many, many gangs.We in the Southside Eagles,wes gots er,wes winnin. Wes cool.Anyways,we's walkin through a huge lot one night,jus outta tertry.Wasn't sposed to bes theres,bus them,da Renegades,wasn in ours tertry,ands killds Maks couple days go. Just for theirs own tertry.Well,wes gonna wanna rumble causin theys broke pact,ans wes gonna catch um up withs the Bulldogs.Sos we's sittin round in thes big lot under the highway,killed the guard,damn his mexicana fragged eart, ands we was chewin some gourmets scraps from Mcdonalds. Kats and Andys was sittin on the outsides,keepin watchs. Suddenly Kats whistles the larm code,and somethin uge comes crashin out of the sky,strait int the fraggin lot. Za ole fraggin renegades ares ins thes lot now,on the others side,those of us with guns r knives ws laughin and killin um off.Ther leader cames up,signlin a ceas fire,ands he and is secnd drops dere guns.Kat stoods up, and Andy behinds her,ands they set their stuff down too. "Washcha want?"Kat said,her lips curved in a perfect sneer. "We...relinquish.Go,"the Renegade mexican bastard said,bowing to her and walking away.She walked over to the thing. "Gshover ere fore I kick you filthy..."Kat yelled.Lossa lang was used,and Kat tells me can't put it in. I,Eugene,Haywood,Candice,and Jordan walked over.The thing was as long as a bus,not even,and kinda blue black color. It was all messed up and busted the concrete of da best rumble site in da freakin nation,so I wasn't to happy with it none.Is walked over,den somethin opened and dere was somethin in da door! I was all ready ta kill it,but Kat shot me a look and a warnin glare and slipped her knife in her boot to her hand. "You's better have as good excuse for screwhin up our tertry," she growled. < Primitives, >some voice said.< Unaccapable of understandable Galard. > "You wanna come over ere and say that?"Kat growled."Who in hell is you,where's you from,and what in damn is this freakin thing?" < I am War-Prince Davern- > "Whatcha are ain't worth none o my time.Now-" < Shut up and listen,you!I'm dying,I am an Andalite that fought in a space battle attempting to save your pathetic world. >The thing stumbled out.It looked kinda like a tiny blue horse,like in Malboro comercil pics, and it had a huge tail with a blade at the end,curved, almost as long as Kat's knife.He had a body like one of dem boy models,eyes as green as what grass der was in this city, and he had too many fingers on is ands,and no mouth,and knife-cuts dat didn't bleed for nose,and he ad horns on is ead dat twisted and moved,and he had eyes on dem horns. "Space battle?"Andy asked. "Star Wars?"Eugene offered. "I reckon maybe,"Haywood said. The Andalite thang looked at us confusedly.
Chapter 2-Kat
I didn't know what in fraggin ell any of dis was about,but I'm leader. My position can be usurped as easily as f***.I can't be scerd. But I was.Andy knew that,he'd run me over gin. "Sok,so yous tryin to save ours planet from what?"I snarled. < Yeerks, >he said.He sounded like what I di when I say renegades. "Whas Yeerks?"Candice asked. < They are parasites. > "Whas dat?" < They crawl into a person's ear and and control the person.The person that they infest is known as a Controller. > "Why?Day's controlled." < I am not sure.The Yeerks have infested many.Taxxons,Hork-Bajir, Andalites- > "Hows we know deres no Yeerk in your ead right now?!"Haywood shreiked. < There is not.I have in my hand a device that will allow you to fight Yeerks.It will allow you to mo-to become any animal you touch. > "So,we touch dis box,you'll let us become sometin else?" < And I can teach you more about Yeerks before they destroy my ship. > I let out a lng string of vulgar words.Ma favrit rumble spot was taken a beatin. "Sec,"I said,motioning for da others ta walk way a lill an da Andalite ta stay where he was. "Well?Dat tail of his sure looks elly in a fight." "Where's we gonna get animals ta become?" "Da zoo,moron." "Be damn helpful in a rumble." "We's do it?" "What the ell?" Wes walked back. "Andalite whatever-in-hell-you's-name-was,we've decided to be damned fraggin idiots and say yes.Now get what you need from that thing of yours,and lets get da ell out of here." < You're the leader? >he asked me.I jutted my chin out. "As long as dere's hell.You's answer to me,you'd do what I say,yous don't I kick your bastard ass." < Yes,ma'am. > I turned around from picking up my gun and knife. "You just insult me?" < No,ma'am is a simble of respect for a female. > "No idea in ell what you just said,but whatever.I'm Kat, that's Andy,my second,Julie,Eugene,Candice,'aywood,Jordan." < I'm Darvan. > "Not so plaesd ta meet cha.But,we's gotta get outta ere fore nother damn gang shows up and we's gotta contest for this tertry all over agains." Darvan looked hellishly confused.But I payed im no mind.He weren't from round the streets of here,he didn't know all the gangs,he didn't search dumpsters.In fact,I was wondrin where we was gonna ide im. "There's a small forestry,bout size of Central,we jus quired from 'gades,"I said."Les ead dere an see if is good nuff fer War-Prince Dar.We's got a dogfight backs ere marrow mornin anyways."
Chapter 3-Darvan
My name is Darvan.Or Dar,as my human friends call me. I was a War Prince on the dome ship LaserSword.We lost. I survived,crashing into a large,flat concrete structure. Many,many earth-beings were standing around when I crashed. A group on one side,a group on the other,southeast and northwest.The northwesterly group was smaller,and more diverse in their looks.On the southwest all the beings were dark brown skinned and black furred,with fur only on the top of their heads.On the other side,the skin was normally a beige,their fur ranging from gold to black, short to long.In front of me,four stood,two from each group. The dark one on the inside spoke some words to the beige one on the inside,bent itself at the torso,and walked away humbly.The second one followed it.The white leader, for that is what she obviously was,just as her feminicy was described in her movements,walked back to her group, picked up a sharp piece of silver metal which she ran over her teeth,and watched the other group go,malice, bemusement,and victory showing plainly in her face.Then, once they had gone,she noticed my ship.She walked over it, yelling some garbled language at the other beings of her group,a few of them also being somewhat feminine.I stood in front of the hatch,allowing the translater chip to pick up enough language to understand.It was an extreme accent, and some words were barely understandable.A lot of 'ass' and other such language which,after asking Kat,turned out to be vile,was used.If you want to know about our meeting,ask Kat,she is my Captain.She claims the position 'as long as dere's ell',but I don't know much about human politics. Apparently the group is the main part of a gang,or groups that are considered vile,and have no set home,'rumbling' with each other over territory boundaries.Anyway,Kat was leading us to a small patch of forest in her newly acquired territory from the Renegades.I looked at it once we got there,and my first thought was how in gari am I not going to starve?.This was a huge forest,but seventy percent dead. And I wanted to be an Andalite,if I was ever saved.I had a wife and-no,I thought,scratching that out.I used to have a wife and two young children to go back to.Not anymore. I caught my stalk eyes involuntarily looking at Kat. She and Shiata-so distinctly alike.The same arch of the back that emphasized a defiancy,a determined soul.The same,tired,I'm-not-through-yet-just-watch-me-finish eyes. Distinctly different,but impossibly alike.Except my wife was dead,the wrong character in the wrong place.Here,she would have needed all the defiance and leadership she had to stay alive,instead of fight for female rights.She'd been killed in front of my eyes-by her own brother.She and the twins she'd been carrying.I had not taken leave since. I wanted to save the universe.Well,news flash,Darvan- you couldn't even save your own wife.From herself,from anyone.And you call yourself a hero. "HEY!WAKE UP!"someone yelled in my ear.I recognized Haywood, and stumbled back a few steps. < Forgive me, >I said. "Shaddup,les go,"Kat snarled,shivering.I realized it was soaking rain.We walked into a huddled shack with a wood floor-enclosed.I didn't like it,but it wasn't my place to complain.At least I wouldn't get soaked or spotted.Kat whistled,and a large,furry creature bounded in,a quadruped,growling at me.Kat hit it with her fist hard, and it whimpered its apologies,licking her hand. "The dog,"she explained,settling down to sleep.Everyone else seemed to be doing the same.I sighed and closed my eyes.It had been a looooong day.
Chapter 1- Julie
My name's Julie.That's all I'm telling you as of now.As of ever.You mess with me an Ill kick your pathetic ass. Kat says we have to write all this down so somebody remembers and knows.I'm no writer,but I learn quick.Kat's the smartest, quickest phsycotic bitch on these streets,outa many, many gangs.We in the Southside Eagles,we got her,we're winning. We're cool.Anyway,we were walking through a huge lot one night,just out of our territory.We weren't supposed to be there,but the Renegades was in our territory,and kill'd Mak a couple days ago. Just for their own territory.Well,we wanted to fight because they broke the pact,and we're going to catch them up withs the Bulldogs.So we were sitting around in the big lot under the highway,killed the guard,damn his mexican fragged heart, and we were chewing some gourmet scraps from Mcdonalds. Kat and Andy were sitting on the outside,keeping watches. Suddenly Kat whistled the alarm code,and something huge came crashing out of the sky,straight into the fraggin lot. The old fraggin renegades were in the lot soon,on the other side,those of us with guns or knives was laughing and killing them off.Their leader came up,signaling a cease fire,and he and his second dropped their guns.Kat stood up, and Andy behind her,and they sat their stuff down,too. "Whatcha want?"Kat said,her lips curved in a perfect sneer. "We...relinquish.Go,"the Renegade mexican bastard said,bowing to her and walking away.She walked over to the thing. "Get over here before I kick your filthy..."Kat yelled.Lots of language was used,and Kat told me I can't put it in here. I,Eugene,Haywood,Candice,and Jordan walked over.The thing was as long as a bus,not even,and kinda blue black color. It was all messed up and busted the concrete of the best rumble site in the freakin nation,so I wasn't to happy with it none.I walked over,then somethin opened and there was something in the door! I was all ready to kill it,but Kat shot me a look and a warning glare and slipped her knife in her boot to her hand. "You better have a good excuse for screwing up our territory," she growled. < Primitives, >some voice said.< Unaccapable of understandable Galard. > "You wanna come over here and say that?"Kat growled."Who in hell are you,where're you from,and what in damn is this freakin thing?" < I am War-Prince Davern- > "Whatcha are ain't worth none of my time.Now-" < Shut up and listen,you!I am an Andalite that fought in a space battle attempting to save your pathetic world. >The thing stumbled out.It looked kinda like a tiny blue horse,like in Malboro comercial pics, and it had a huge tail with a blade at the end,curved, almost as long as Kat's knife.He had a body like one of them boy models,eyes as green as what grass there was in this city, and he had too many fingers on his hands,and no mouth,and knife-cuts dat didn't bleed for nose,and he had horns on his head that twisted and moved,and he had eyes on dem horns. "Space battle?"Andy asked. "Star Wars?"Eugene offered. "I reckon maybe,"Haywood said. The Andalite thang looked at us confusedly.
Chapter 2-Kat
I didn't know what in fraggin hell any of this was about,but I'm leader. My position can be usurped as easily as f***.I can't be scared. But I was.IF Andy knew that,he'd run me over again. "ok,so you're tryin to save our planet from what?"I snarled. < Yeerks, >he said.He sounded like what I did when I say renegades. "What're Yeerks?"Candice asked. < They are parasites. > "What's that?" < They crawl into a person's ear and and control the person.The person that they infest is known as a Controller. > "Why?They're controlled." < I am not sure.The Yeerks have infested many.Taxxons,Hork-Bajir, Andalites- > "How do we know there's no Yeerk in your head right now?!"Haywood yelled. < There is not.I have in my hand a device that will allow you to fight Yeerks.It will allow you to mo-to become any animal you touch. > "So,we touch this box,you'll let us become something else?" < And I can teach you more about Yeerks before they destroy my ship. > I let out a lng string of vulgar words.Ma favorite rumble spot was taken a beating. "One sec,"I said,motioning for the others to walk away a little and the Andalite to stay where he was. "Well?That tail of his sure looks hellish in a fight." "Where're we gonna get animals to become?" "The zoo,moron." "Be damn helpful in a rumble." "We's do it?" "What the hell?" We walked back. "Andalite whatever-in-hell-you're-name-was,we've decided to be damned fraggin idiots and say yes.Now get what you need from that thing of yours,and lets get da ell out of here." < You're the leader? >he asked me.I jutted my chin out. "As long as there's hell.You answer to me,you do what I say,you don't I kick your bastard ass." < Yes,ma'am. > I turned around from picking up my gun and knife. "You just insult me?" < No,ma'am is a word of respect for a female. > "No idea in hell what you just said,but whatever.I'm Kat, that's Andy,my second,Julie,Eugene,Candice,Haywood,Jordan." < I'm Darvan. > "Not so pleased to meet you.But we gotta get outta here before another damned gang shows up and we gotta contest for this territory all over again." Darvan looked hellishly confused.But I payed him no mind.He wasn't from around the streets of here,he didn't know all the gangs,he didn't search dumpsters.In fact,I was wondring where we were gonna hide him. "There's a small forestry,bout size of Central,we just acquired from 'gades,"I said."Let's head there and see if it's good enough for War-Prince Dar.We's got a dogfight back here tomarrow morning anyway."
Chapter 3-Darvan
My name is Darvan.Or Dar,as my human friends call me. I was a War Prince on the dome ship LaserSword.We lost. I survived,crashing into a large,flat concrete structure. Many,many earth-beings were standing around when I crashed. A group on one side,a group on the other,southeast and northwest.The northwesterly group was smaller,and more diverse in their looks.On the southwest all the beings were dark brown skinned and black furred,with fur only on the top of their heads.On the other side,the skin was normally a beige,their fur ranging from gold to black, short to long.In front of me,four stood,two from each group. The dark one on the inside spoke some words to the beige one on the inside,bent itself at the torso,and walked away humbly.The second one followed it.The white leader, for that is what she obviously was,just as her feminicy was described in her movements,walked back to her group, picked up a sharp piece of silver metal which she ran over her teeth,and watched the other group go,malice, bemusement,and victory showing plainly in her face.Then, once they had gone,she noticed my ship.She walked over it, yelling some garbled language at the other beings of her group,a few of them also being somewhat feminine.I stood in front of the hatch,allowing the translater chip to pick up enough language to understand.It was an extreme accent, and some words were barely understandable.A lot of 'ass' and other such language which,after asking Kat,turned out to be vile,was used.If you want to know about our meeting,ask Kat,she is my Captain.She claims the position 'as long as dere's ell',but I don't know much about human politics. Apparently the group is the main part of a gang,or groups that are considered vile,and have no set home,'rumbling' with each other over territory boundaries.Anyway,Kat was leading us to a small patch of forest in her newly acquired territory from the Renegades.I looked at it once we got there,and my first thought was how in gari am I not going to starve?.This was a huge forest,but seventy percent dead. And I wanted to be an Andalite,if I was ever saved.I had a wife and-no,I thought,scratching that out.I used to have a wife and two young children to go back to.Not anymore. I caught my stalk eyes involuntarily looking at Kat. She and Shiata-so distinctly alike.The same arch of the back that emphasized a defiancy,a determined soul.The same,tired,I'm-not-through-yet-just-watch-me-finish eyes. Distinctly different,but impossibly alike.Except my wife was dead,the wrong character in the wrong place.Here,she would have needed all the defiance and leadership she had to stay alive,instead of fight for female rights.She'd been killed in front of my eyes-by her own brother.She and the twins she'd been carrying.I had not taken leave since. I wanted to save the universe.Well,news flash,Darvan- you couldn't even save your own wife.From herself,from anyone.And you call yourself a hero. "HEY!WAKE UP!"someone yelled in my ear.I recognized Haywood, and stumbled back a few steps. < Forgive me, >I said,startled. "Shaddup,let's go,"Kat snarled,shivering.I realized it was soaking rain.We walked into a huddled shack with a wood floor-enclosed.I didn't like it,but it wasn't my place to complain.At least I wouldn't get soaked or seen.Kat whistled,and a large,furry creature bounded in,a quadruped,growling at me.Kat hit it with her fist hard, and it whimpered its apologies,licking her hand. "The dog,"she explained,settling down to sleep.Everyone else seemed to be doing the same.I sighed and closed my eyes.It had been a looooong day.