"Gin-san!"
Shinpachi slides the door shut and walks in, taking off his shoes and walking into the dusty, old room.
"Gin-san! Kagura-chan! Wake up! It's already ten AM!" he calls out again.
No one answers.
"Gin-san! Kagura-chan!" he said a bit louder.
"Gin-san! Ka-gu-ra-chan!" he said, raising the tone.
"GIN-SAAAAAAN! KAGURA-CHAAAA-"
"SHUT UP!" a justaway alarm clock and a packet of pickled seaweed comes soaring across the air, slamming into the side of Shinapachi's head.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Shinapachi snaps. "WAKE UP YOU MORONS! GIN-SAN, WE HAVE WORK TO DO! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND WHY WOULD YOU THROW THESE AT ME?!"
"Shut your face, glasses." Kagura moans, rubbing her eyes.
"Glasses? You called me glasses just now, didn't you?"
"It's only ten in the morning, we're not in the mood to listen to your whiny voice, glasses." She yawns.
"You called me glasses again, didn't you? You definitely just called me glasses."
"I think I drank a little too much last night…" Gintoki mumbles as he struggles to get out of his room. "Ahhh, this isn't good. The world is on a merry-go-round and it's on full speed…" he moans.
Shinpachi sighs as he watches the two sloths grope around the room, trying to stay awake.
A sudden knock at the door diverts his attention away from them.
"I'll go get it." Shinpachi nods, walking towards the door. "Coming, coming!"
He slides the door open.
Shinpachi's eyes grow wide open as he stares at the guest. A young girl around the same age as him was standing there. She was wearing a bright yellow kimono with pink pastel colored sakura petals designs. Her hair was milk chocolate colored and her eyes were a bright emerald green.
"H-hello!" Shinapachi said, his voice a bit higher than usual. "W-welcome to Odd Jobs!"
"…hello." The girl said.
"C-come on in!" Shinpachi stammers.
"Thank you…" the young girl walks into the shabby old building and sits down on the couch.
"Oi, glasses, who's this?" said the still half-awake Kagura.
"YOU'RE STILL CALLING ME THAT?!" he snaps before flashing a smile to his guest. "I-I'm sorry, she just has a mental disability."
"I don't have a-!"
"My name is Shinpachi." He smiles.
"Misaki. Misaki Sono." The girl said softly.
"S-so, Misaki-chan, what brings you here today?"
"I…" she starts.
"OI, SHINPACHI! WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER!" a voice booms from the bathroom.
"GIN-SAN! NOT NOW-!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT NOW?! I JUST TOOK A DUMP AND YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY HERE LIKE THIS?! I'LL GET HEMORRHOIDS!"
"E-excuse me, Misaki-chan." The embarrassed boy said, walking towards Gintoki's desk and opening a drawer.
He pulls out a roll of toilet paper.
"Got it, Gin-san!" he heads towards the bathroom and cracks open the door. "UGH! WHATS THAT SMELL-"
"SHHHHH! You want to embarrass me in front of our guest?!" Gintoki hisses.
"YOU ALREADY EMBARRASSED YOURSELF!"
He marches back to his seat and clears his throat.
"S-sorry about that, Misaki-chan. He's our boss, Gin-san. Gintoki Sakata." He laughs nervously.
Misaki stays quiet.
Shiiiiit! She thinks we're all weird now! She's definitely grossed out now! Damn you Gin-san!
"S-so what's your problem?" he said, trying to break the silence.
"Um well-"
"HEY GLASSES! GET ME SOME PICKLED SEAWEED!" an obnoxious voice erupted from the closet.
"GET THEM YOURSELF! STOP CALLING ME THAT AND WHY DID YOU GO BACK INTO BED?! WAKE UP ALREADY DAMMIT!" Shinpachi wrenches the closet open and pulls Kagura out.
He sprints back to the couch and coughs.
"A-ah sorry about that. She's Kagura-chan…her favorite food is pickled seaweed and likes to sleep in that closet. Yeah her mental disability is a real burden!" He laughs, scratching the back of his head. "Pickled seaweed is pretty salty b-but it's also pretty healthy! Yeah! It um strengthens your muscles and everything!"
Silence.
Crap! She definitely thinks we're out of our minds now! Kagura-chan why can't you act mature for once! We have a guest here?! And a pretty one for that matter!
"A-anyways, Misaki-chan! U-um let's get back to business…why are you here today?"
She stays silent.
Now she won't even talk anymore! All of those interruptions are making her stay quiet! She'll leave at this rate!
"Gin-san! Kagura-chan! Come sit down with us! We have a costumer! We have to do our job!" Shinpachi snaps.
"So now that everyone is here, let's start over." Shinpachi smiles. "My name is Shimura Shinpachi!"
"Sakata Gintoki."
"Kagura!"
"Misaki Sono…"
"So, Misaki-chan, what's your reason for coming here? Did you lose something? A pet maybe?" Shinpachi suggests.
"…n-no…it's nothing like that." She said quietly.
"Then what is it?"
"I…I…"
"You…?"
"I…I…I…"
"Yes?"
"I…I…"
"…?"
"ALL OF MY GRADES WENT DOWN! MY MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME! WHAT DO I DO, ODD JOBS?! WHAT DO I DOOOOOO?!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"U-um…excuse me…b-but we're not your guidance counselor." Shinapachi said.
"Pachi boy, that's not the thing here." Gintoki said, picking his nose. "Who in their right mind go to their guidance counselor if they're failing?"
"EVERYONE?! AND PACHI BOY?!"
"You really are an idiot, aren't you, glasses?" Kagura nods.
"LIKE YOURE THE ONE TO TALK!"
"Shinapachi-kun, not a single student on this planet will go to their guidance counselor if they need help. I mean think about it. If you went to your counselor everyone in the whole school will know that you're failing or at least doing something wrong. They'll think you're weaker than everyone else and you will need help all the time. The humiliation can haunt you for the rest of your life. We live in a cruel world. It's a world where if you need help then you're less than everyone else. That's why people barely stay after school and ask their teachers for more advice. They would much rather stay home and play video games than endure that humiliation. If you need help then you're nothing. You'll just be the teacher's pet and everyone will hate you for that. Bullying can even happen, cyber bullying, physical bullying, spiritual bullying-"
"WHAT THE HELL IS SPIRITUAL BULLYING?!"
"Mental bullying, torture bullying-"
"TORTURE BULLYING?!"
"Big ultra mega bullying-"
"NOW YOU'RE MAKING NAMES UP!"
"What I mean to say is: bullying is a bad thing."
"THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN ON THE SUBJECT ANYMOOOORE! HOW DID YOU GO FROM GOING TO THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TO TYPES OF BULLYING?! AND MOST OF THEM DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!"
"Shinpachi-kun, the big mega ultra mega bullying is a type of bullying that involves robots-"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?! AND YOU ADDED ANOTHER 'MEGA' IN THERE! IT'S OBVIOUS YOU MADE IT UUUUUP!"
"U-um…excuse me but that's not it at all." Misaki said softly. "…it's actually ultra big mega super bullying-"
"WHY ARE YOU JOINING IIIIIIN!? AND WHAT ARE THESE BULLYING TYPES?! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THESE?!"
"You're such an idiot, glasses." Kagura said, flicking away a booger.
"Please stop calling me glasses."
"There are three types of bullying." She puts up a finger into the air. "Number one, the internet dummy."
"That's called cyber bullying, Kagura-chan."
"Number two, the boxing bullying."
"That's just the physical type of bullying, Kagura-chan."
"And the last one: the ultra super super sayian mega ultra bullying-"
"NEVER HEARD OF IIIIIIT! AND YOU SAID SUPER SAYIAN DIDN'T YOU?! YOU JUST COPIED A FORM OFF OF A CHARACTER THAT'S IN ANOTHER ANIMEEEEE! AND WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NEVER HEARD OF THESE TYPES BEFOREEEEE?!"
"Geez, how empty is your brain, Shinpachi?" Gintoki sighs, crossing his arms.
"I really don't want to hear that from you."
"Look, bullying is a very serious matter so I can't believe you don't know about the ultra mega super…" Gintoki pauses. "sayian mega-"
"YOU JUST PAUSED RIGHT NOW DIDN'T YOUUUU?! YOU JUST WANTED TO SAY 'SUPER SAYIAN' SO YOU STOPPED, RIIIIIGHT?!"
"U-um…." Misaki said softly.
"Ah sorry about that, Misaki-chan…" Shinpachi takes a deep breath. "So tell us-"
"I think mega ultra super super mega super sayian three bullying is the-"
"ENOOOOOOUUUUUGH! AND ALL YOU DID WAS ADD THE 'THREE' IN THERE! WHY? DO YOU LIKE SUPER SAYIAN THREE BETTER THAN ONE AND TWO?!"
"Geez, guys, we spent twenty minutes getting off topic. Now we have to solve our costumer's problem. That's what the Odd Jobs is for." Shinpachi sighs.
"I-I'm sorry, I got off topic too…" Misaki said.
"No, it's fine." Shinpachi smiles. "So, tell us about your problem…"
"You see…" she takes a deep breath. "I was always a misguided child long time ago. I hated school, I hated work, I hated homework, and I hated studying. Even though my mom would keep telling me to do it…I would never listen. I grew up in a very uneducated neighborhood so it was hard to receive good education, but I didn't mind. I just wanted to have fun. I didn't care about school nor did I care about grades. But my friends…most of my friends were really smart. They would always get perfect marks on their tests or report cards while I would get the lowest. At the time I didn't really care but when I grew up…I slowly started to realize that I need to get my act together. I needed to improve. I wanted to get into this really amazing school that has an entrance exam so I studied my ass off during my entire summer break to get in. I tried my best and I did all I could to get in." she looks up. "And I got in! I was so happy, so grateful, so relieved that my hard work finally paid off. And the thing that made me smile the most were the happiness on my parents' faces. I always wanted to make them proud of me…but I always ended up failing. So when I got into the school I was so excited to see the proud faces on my mother's face. I wanted her to say 'Good job, you did well.' I wanted her to hug me…" she gives them a small smile. "And she did. I told myself to do better, to get better grades with each passing year…but ever since I got into the school…my old habits began to return. I started to slack off, I started to watch videos on the internet rather than study, I started to stop doing homework or do them at the last minute. And soon enough…the 100s that I had on my report card became a 70 or an 80…" she starts to sniffle. "All my mother wanted to see was improvement and I didn't improve at all! I just became worse! I…I'm a failure! How can I show my mom the report card now?! How can I ever face her now?!" she sobs in her hands.
"Misaki-chan…" Shinpachi said quietly. "M-maybe we aren't the ones you should talk to after all…you should talk to someone else about this."
"I already have."
"Huh?"
"I talked to the Shinsengumi."
"Huh? Why would you go talk to the police about your school life?"
"I-I thought they would be able to help."
"ONLY IN CRIMES! NOT WITH SCHOOL WORK!"
"The first guy I talked to there was a man with black hair and a V shaped bang."
"O-oh you mean Hijikata-san?" Shinpachi nods.
"Do you know him?"
"He's a stubborn bastard." Gintoki snaps.
"So? What did he tell you?" Shinpachi asks.
"He told me to commit seppuku."
"EHHHHHHHHH?! WHYY?!"
"He said I was violating his law. He said I broke rule number 677 which is to never consult a police officer about school work."
"WHAT SORT OF LAW IS THAAAAAAT?! IT'S OBVIOUS HE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEM SO HE JUST MADE THAT LAW UP SO YOU COULD GO AWAYYYYY! WHAT SORT OF POLICEMAN IS THAAAAAT?! WHO WOULD GO TELL A GIRL TO KILL HERSELF!?"
"I also talked to a man with dirty blonde hair…"
"Oh! Do you mean Okita-kun?" Shinpachi asks. "What did he tell you?"
"He told me to commit seppuku."
"WHYYYYY?! WHATS WRONG WITH THESE POLICEMEN?!"
"He said if I die then all my troubles will be washed away."
"HOW IS EDO STILL ALIVE WITH ALL THESE DEMENTED POLICEMEEEN?!"
"What a sadist." Kagura nods. "Never listen to a guy like him."
"And then I talked to a guy who had a badminton racket."
"Yamazaki-san? Okay…what did he-?"
"He told me to eat anpan."
"WHYYYYYY?! WHAT DOES ANPAN HAVE TO DO WITH GRAAAAAADES?!"
Silence.
"At one point I did try to kill myself actually." Misaki said. "The stress was too much to handle but...but I'm afraid of dying. I don't want to die but at the same time I do…"
"Misaki-chan…" Shinpachi said softly.
"I…I don't know if I can ever go home and face my mom the same way! I failed her…I failed my family…I'm so…stupid!" she cries.
"…go face her." Gintoki suddenly said.
"Huh…? B-but…"
"How can you move forward if you can't face the things in front of you?" he said staring into her eyes. "She's your mom right? She was the one who held you when you were first born, she was the one who gave her milk from her teets but no one else could touch them-,"
"That comment wasn't necessary, Gin-san."
"She was there when you walked your first baby steps, she was the one who rocked you to sleep, she was the one who cheered you on, on your first soccer match-"
"Uh how do you know if she played soccer or not?"
"She cooked every meal for you, washed your dirty dishes, cleaned your smelly underwear, supported you, cared for you, loved you!"
"…!" Misaki's eyes widen.
"If she's really your mother then she would understand! Right?!" Gintoki slams fist onto the coffee table. "Go face her. Tell her from the bottom of your stinkin heart that you're sorry. Tell her that you will try harder next time. Ask her to forgive you! She's your mother right?! If she's your mother then she'll understand!"
"…"
"Just promise her…promise her that you will do better next time. Then she'll be happy."
Kagura and Shinpachi stays quiet as Misaki continues to cry.
"Thank you…thank you…" she sniffs. "Thank you…"
She looks up and wipes her tears away.
"I'll face her! I'll tell her! She'll understand right?!" she gets up and walks towards the door. "Because…she's my mother…" she turns around and bows. "Thank you Odd Jobs…" she smiles.
"Misaki-chan…if you ever need help come to us again." Shinpachi said.
"Of course. I will always be in your debt." She opens the door and walks out.
"Geez all this just because of grades? They're just numbers and letter aren't they?" Gintoki yawns. "Never let numbers and letter control your life. Your life is something that you control, not some stinking report card and some nagging mother." Gintoki sighs. "Kagura, let's go back to sleep…"
"STOOOOP! I DON'T WANT TO WAKE YOU GUYS UP-"
"SHUT UUUUP, PACHI BOY/GLASSES!"
"WHY ARE YOU GUYS CALLING ME THAAAAT?! AND STOP THROWING PICKELED SEAWEED AT ME-OW, KAGURA-CHAN!"