Voiceless

BPOV

Somber mist sprawled tentacles. Sole caress of gloom reached for me. There was no point of trying to escape foe so mighty. Though my senses remained intact despite attempts of a guard of highest rank, I was still what they weren't for centuries.

A mortal.

A woman, yet to most of inbound faces, a child. The truth is, I am young, but I am an adult or I was in the world which few years prior was the only one I knew existed. Now in this inevitable collision, I found myself wishing I was truly the child everyone took me for. The child cries when hungry or wishes to sleep, drools and you are happy when burps. The child cries to get attention and I wish my cries would be just as useful as to the child. Even if there was someone who could hear me, I couldn't be saved. So I wish I was an infant, they don't understand what fear is.

„Isabella…" Skin of chalk, black flowing hair and those horrifying eyes eating my soul out. I never imagined death to take his form as I expected it from hand striking me for revenge. Neither did I imagine upon seeing him again that the strength of the compulsion to touch his skin and verify it is smooth and cold, would be great as the day I met him.

„Bella." Where my courage to remind him I preferred the shorter version of my name came from, I had no idea. The single thought of someone as old and powerful as him ubiquitously halted me. „I prefer Bella." Particles of my mind must be impatient to die then, if I dare to not only speak, but correct the powerful creature before me.

„Bella…" He purred and advanced on me. I closed my eyes, certain my life will end now.

I expected brief agony and end, but he wasn't after me neck. The monster before me grasped my hand almost gently and I stopped breathing. I opened my eyes and blinked tears away. He had my hand wrapped in his both, wrinkles flawed his forehead in deep concentration. He couldn't enter my mind and I realized that might be the only reason why my heart continues to pump blood. I piqued his interest with something I had no control over.

„I see nothing."

I've never heard any declarative sentence sounding so much as a death sentence. The story of my pathetic mortal life was about to get the ending and I no longer had a clue if that was something to fear or something to embrace as an old friend. I've been running for months and I am tired. I want all of this to end, but I don't cease to hope I'll live just a while longer, although I have nothing and no one to live for.

Love for perfect, immortal creature I knew as Edward brought ruin for a feature known as mortality. Edward left me and I lived on, but furious rider of death arrived and painted my walls red. Victoria killed Charlie and Renee for what I was aware of. I left Forks after the funeral and ran since.

„What will you do to me?" I asked only to get sly smile in return. „Why are you here?"

It couldn't be a coincidence they appeared in the middle of same desert I took refuge in. I assumed someone was playing my shadow for months, but my eye was too slow to catch glimpse of my stalker or stalkers, I assume there was more of them.

"Maintaining our secret has never been more imperative."

I bit my tongue, there was no point of telling him I won't share their secrets with the rest of the world. He knew that and therefore came to trade loyalty to him in exchange for preserving my life. Death was better option when what he truly offered was a place on the chessboard where he can use and sacrifice me as any other meaningless pawn.

If man like him wanted to preserve the security of order, I was the least of his worries. I was small, meaningless and mortal. Me telling another soul of his world would get me locked in an asylum in the best case, yet he wanted to control me. Merge me to his side or have me kneel before him, he wanted to rule me.

„What will happen to me if I refuse to join?" I walked with head on neck after refusing him the first time. The chance of doing the same was slim, my curiosity on the other hand was thick.

„Do you not acknowledge the opportunity you have, Bella?"

No. That was my silent answer. I saw nothing, but monstrosity and slaughter. He has great ambition, but limited self-control. My refusal would upset him and surprise, possibly infuriate him to reach for my neck and break it.

„What will happen to me?" I insisted.

The answer was not something to bring me joy, but I wanted to hear the truth. I might be sadist to want to know how he plans to kill me, but I want to be ready for it, if that makes any sense. I'm not keen on suffering, gods know I had enough of it for one lifetime.

I lived longer than I expected to survive while running from Victoria. I remember the first days out of Forks when I thought every tomorrow is my last. My mind tortured me with happy memories back then. I was also imagining how my life would turn to be if Edward stayed with me. A desired infinity with him vanished and immortality nauseated me. How could I, who can not bear the sight of blood during my human days, ever get used to drinking it to keep me strong? I know circumstances would be different, but it was still alienating.

„Pain will change your mind quickly, you are after all breakable." Torture. I can imagine they have patience for that, but I will be dead by the time first drop of my blood drips to the floor. „You will become numb to it eventually, then the worst will come."

„You will wish for something as sweet as pain."

Should I continue?