Things I'll Never Say, a life with derek fanfic

This is for the 30 one shot challenge. I know it most likely stinks but I had a idea and I wanted to do it. The italics the begining is a flashback and the italics towards the middle and end are Casey's thoughts. Enjoy...

Things I'll Never Say

Casey stood motionless next to her family. It was time to say goodbye. She did not want to. She felt the tears threatening to spill and her throat ached as she watched Derek hug his dad first then go down the line until he reached her. She remembered last night and she could not hold back the tears.

"Derek, I think we should break up." Casey and Derek were having their usual late night talk, and they had been talking about Derek accepting a job in Vancouver.

"You know I don't want that."

"We are going to be so far apart. I don't think I could do it- the long distance relationship. We are barely 22 and just out of college. I moved back home so I could have a job here. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here. I don't want to be in the way of your dreams, Derek. I could never live with myself."

"Come on Casey, you are talking foolishness."

"No I am not. I am breaking up with you Derek Venturi!"

"Case…"

"I have made up my mind."

"But we have been together for 4 years now. You know me better then anyone else. I love you."

Casey started sobbing quietly. "I love you too. That is why we have to break up."

"Fine! Whatever!" Derek stood up and ran his hands through his hair. "If this is how it is going to be, I know I can't agrue with you." He walked out of her room and she started sobbing louder.

I'm tuggin' at my hair
I'm pullin' at my clothes
I'm tryin' to keep my cool
I know it shows

When he had hugged the rest of the family, he went over to Casey and whispered something into her ear. "I want to talk to you, but not here. Follow me."

"Guys, we are going to see if there is something I might need in the airport gift shop. It will be a long flight. We'll be right back."

"Don't take too long, your flight takes off in 30 minutes." George told his son as he walked off with Casey.

Once Derek and Casey were away from the family, they just stood there staring at each other. Well, it was more like Derek starting at Casey staring down at her shoes.

"Casey…"

I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

"I am okay." She looked up to meet his gaze.

After a look from Derek she said, "Really Derek, I don't want you to feel bad about leaving."

I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah...

"Just tell me to stay and I will. I would stay if you wanted me to."

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

"We broke up remember. We already discussed this and you already agreed."

"I never wanted to break up. I only did because I knew you would end up fighting with me about it."

"Not if you asked me to marry you…" Casey thought.

It don't do me any good

it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you, what's on my mind?
If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care?

"Just go before I change my mind."

"But you are not okay!"

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah...

"Derek, how many times will I have to tell you. I will just fine. I'm alright."

"No you're not. I can tell Case. I don't want to hurt you by leaving."

"I don't want to hurt you by making you stay."

If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I wanna see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

"Please Derek, don't make this into more then it is. I'm tired and I just want this to be over with."

"Fine! I am so sorry that I am wasting my time caring about your feelings!"

"That is not want I meant!"

"What did you mean?"

What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah...

Casey grabbed Derek and held on tight to him.

"I don't want you to see how much pain I'm in."

Derek held Casey close and sighed into her hair.

"I love you Case. You know that right?"

"Yes, Derek. I know. But don't do something stupid for me. Follow your dream. Show the world that you aren't just a slacker."

"Just say you want me for your wife."

I guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

"Flight 230 to Vancouver is now boarding."

"Derek, don't leave me."

"Goodbye Derek."

"Bye Casey."

He went over to the rest of the clan and said a last goodbye and then went to board the plane. He looked over his shoulder to see Casey crying but smiling at him.

"I love you too, Der." She mouthed at him and waved.

These things I'll never say.

He gave her once last glance and a questioning look. She nodded and walked away. When she was out of his sight she cried, "Derek, will you marry me?!" She turned around but he was gone.

"Flight 230 is now taking off."

These things I'll never say