I, Kuma

by Comic Relief

This takes place if Kuma won the King Of Iron Fist Tournament Four. Suprise twist at the end of Ch 1! Heihachi keeps on trying to get his Zaibatsu back from Kuma. Will he succeed? Or fail miserably? READ AND FIND OUT!

I, Kuma...

====================POSSIBLE SPOILERS!====================

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN KUMA'S ENDING IN T4. UNLESS YOU WANT IT SPOILED FOR YOU!

A/N: Hey! It's Lisa, again! With, of course, ANOTHER FIC BASED ON THE ENDINGS OF TEKKEN 4! This is my fourth one. My 'strictly comic' one! This is based off of Kuma's ending! Kuma isn't all that great, I know this. I also do not hate on Kuma. Just read! You know Kuma's ending was funny. This is based on if Kuma won the King Of The Iron Fist Tournament Four. Also, DO NOT READ ON IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE GROSS HUMOR! (No, I do not mean Sexual Humor, I mean yucky humor!)

Chapter One: A Whole Lot More Contracts

Heihachi knocks on the door of the CEO office of the Mishima Zaibatsu. Kuma's office.

Kuma growls a "Come in!"

"Hello, Kuma!" Heihachi said, cheerfully. He thought that he could earn the Mishima Zaibatsu back from Kuma by playing it sweet, and with more contracts. "There are a few things I forgot in our agreements, Kuma! You need to place your paw print down on these, too!"

Kuma stood on his chair, dancing. Shaking what his momma gave him! Shaking his groove thang! He somehow likes signing contracts! Then... thump! "Grrrrrrrrr," Kuma growled while landing on his bottom. The chair collapsed under his weight.

Heihachi was frightened by that. Kuma weighs...THAT MUCH! Kuma could've sat on him just once to win the tournament! "Uhhh, Kuma! Here are the contracts. I am leaving now, okay? Come tell me when you have them all signed, okay? Bye bye!" Heihachi talked very fast. He left the contracts at Kuma's desk.

Kuma let out a soft, polite growl and nodded his head. The whole stack of contracts state any ways possible to get Heihachi to regain the Mishima Zaibatsu. The contracts read...

Heihachi Mishima give thee, Kuma, free concert tickets.

Heihachi Mishima: HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Kuma, will give back the Mishima Zaibatsu's branch in New York to Heihachi Mishima.

Heihachi Mishima:HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Heihachi, will give thee, Kuma, the electricity cereal that all of the Mishima's eat (and that one Kazama boy eats) to gain their electricity in their punches and kicks...FROSTED FLAKES:SUPER CHARGED!

Heihachi Mishima: HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Heihachi Mishima, will give thee, Kuma my cool thong that I wore at the tournament!

Heihachi Mishima:HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Heihachi Mishima, will give thee, Kuma permission to own, use, and play with Kazuya Mishima any day, at any time!

Heihachi Mishima: HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Kuma, will give thee, Heihachi Mishima, everything Kuma has won from winning the King of Iron Fist Tournament Four!

Heihachi Mishima:HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Kuma, will give back the thong and the cereal back to Heihachi Mishima. (Kuma can keep Kazuya Mishima. Nobody likes him!)

Heihachi Mishima:HEIHACHI MISHIMA Kuma:

Kuma looked at all of the documents. He stamped each and every single contract with his paw, in red ink. Even the ones that will steal all of his fortune! But then, he has to go to the bathroom. He has to go to the bathroom...I mean, HE HAS TO GO RIGHT NOW! Since Kuma isn't potty trained, he done his buisiness on Heihachi's contracts.

Despite the messiness of the documents, Kuma carried the documents out to Heihachi Mishima, who was waiting in the hall.

"KUMA!" Heihachi yelled.

"Grrr?" Kuma asked.

"YOU ARE...SO DEFIANT AND SO...UNCOOPERATIVE!" Heihachi yelled at Kuma. He thought Kuma's uneducatedness would've gotten his precious Zaibatsu back. But, he was so very wrong!

Tune in next time, folks, for the next exciting episode of I, Kuma!

A family in a nearby villiage turned off their TV. Kuma was watching the episode of "I, Kuma" through the window of that family's home.

"This was some good show, right Cleavus?" said a man, in a southern accent.

"Sure was, Cletus!" replied Cleavus, also in a southern accent. "Beats dem soaps operas, dudn't it Cletus?" Cleavus inserted.

"Yup, surely," answered Cletus.

----------End of Chapter

DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN THE MISHIMA ZAIBATSU, KUMA, OR HEIHACHI MISHIMA!

A/N: I hope you liked! Review or else you'll die! J/k. Well, I hope you liked the twist! Thats just me and my sick and twisted mind!