Drifting Away
Part 1 by: Elicia
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with anyone involved with the t.v. show Dawson's Creek. I also do not own any of the characters used in this story. I'm just a devoted fan who is writing this for entertainment purposes only. I'm not making any money off of this fan fiction and I do not plan to so please don't sue me! The story takes place after Jack kisses Joey. Dawson doesn't know about it yet and they are still together. This is part one of a series. If you wish to contact me with any questions, comments, ect...please email me at this address: TebChic@yahoo.com. Don't be to harsh! I'm only 15!!! Ok enough of my talking. Enjoy the story!
Joey Potter sat on the roof of her best friends/boyfriend's empty house. A chilly breeze fluttered her brown hair and she wrapped her arms around herself in a feeble attempt to block out the tiny drafts that threatened to sneak between the woven fibers of her dark green wool sweater. Yet, she tried to pay no attention to it. The scene before her captivated her and she felt compelled to watch with the eyes of an artist. The sun set behind some tall pine trees in a glorious array of color. She stored the picture to her memory to be expressed on canvas once she returned home. Sadly the last rays disappeared taking with it the pink and purple tendrils of cloud, fading into an inky black.
She took in a deep breath of chilly autumn air and let it back out in a heavy sigh. Now that her mind was free a thought fought it's way in. It was a memory she tried to block out, but it had it's own stubborn way of returning whenever she least expected it. It was the memory of Jack McPhee's lips on her own, kissing her tenderly during the full moon the night before. She felt her cheeks grow hot as the memory played it's self over and over in her mind.
Stop that! She commanded herself in a vain attempt to shut the memory out. That kiss meant absolutely nothing to me. Jack is just a good friend. It's Dawson I love. It's his kisses I long for. Not Jack's!
Still the thought remained, lodged deep into her mind. She allowed her self to think back and admitted that she did feel a certain attraction to her tall, dark, sensitive co-worker.
The wind seemed to blow harder in an "I told you so" fashion and this aggravated her even more.
She had avoided speaking to him at work that morning. On her ten minute breaks she sat outside alone instead of chatting with him about art a passion both of them shared. She had even left without saying goodbye.
The annoying thought seemed to scream for attention and she slapped herself on the forehead hoping the pain would erase it, and all the guilt she felt everytime she looked into Dawson's eyes. All she wanted was to forget the kiss ever happened. She longed to return to her semi normal life. She prayed Dawson would never find out about the kiss, because she didn't know if he could handle it on top of everything else he was going through.
Joey looked at her watch. It was almost seven o' clock. She had promised her sister Bessie she would take over the night shift at the IceHouse for her so she could take her son Alex to visit his Aunt in Boston. Not wasting any time she climbed down the ladder that was always convienetly propped up on the side of the house for her late night visits with her boyfriend. She ran to the dock where her little rowboat was tied. She untied the thick rope and pushed it into the water. She dipped the heavy oars in the cool water and rowed out to the middle of the creek.
For some reason there she stopped. She put the oars down and let the rowboat drift in the current. Joey thought back to the days long past. There were only three of them back then, Dawson, Pacay, and herself. They liked to call themselves the Three Musketeers. They spent their days laughing, sharing secrets, and just having fun. That was before things got complicated.
Why can't we all go back to the way things used to be? She thought wistfully. Dawson and I are actually going out and all Pacey and I do is fight. I love them both but why did things have to change? Why did we have to let hormones get in the way? Joey checked her watch again. She had wasted ten minutes doing nothing. She quickly rowed to the opposite shore and prepared herself to face her sister's wrath.
Jack Mcphee watched Joey from the bank of the creek behind some tall reed grass. He studied her and took in how nice her hair looked, and how beautiful she was. He thought back to the night before when he tenderly kissed her. He could still feel her lips on his own. Then he remembered how her eyes snapped open and how she pulled away from his embrace. She ran back into the arms of Dawson. He thought of Joey as a precious treasure that he would do anything to have.
A little part of Jack secretly hated Dawson for everything he had. A perfect life. Two parents who care about him, And most importantly he had the girl that had stolen his heart. He had Joey, and in Jack's opinion he took advantage of her.
Dawson doesn't deserve someone like her. He sullenly thought. OK they have been best friends for a long time, but he had his chance. He didn't open his eyes to what was in front of him. He hurt her! He chased after the girl next door oblivious to the way Joey felt about him. Poor Joey. I would give anything to erase the pain he caused her. I would never treat her like that.
He thought back to the kiss the too of them shared. He hadn't planned it, but he was glad it happened. He felt something in that kiss. It was like fireworks were shooting off all around him.
She had to have felt something. It wasn't all in my mind. I'm sure of that. He planned a way to find out for sure. She can't love Dawson as much as she claims she does. If she did she wouldn't have kissed me back the way she did. He resolved to find out for sure.
Jack got up from the damp grass he was crouching in. He thought back to Joey's eyes, her, hair, her touch, her kiss. He shivered in anticipation to what would happen next. Soon. He promised himself, Soon.
Dawson Leery walked into his room. His parents had dragged him along to family counseling session in a final attempt to save their marriage. He flopped down on his bed and picked up his t.v remote. He randomly flipped through the stations not really paying attention to them. He remembered the night before and felt tears well up in his eyes.
"Damn full moon." he muttered cursing the night before and it's strange occurrences. His parent's once stable marriage was on a downward spiral. For once in his life he actually wished he could go downstairs and find them having sex on the coffee table. He was loosing Pacey to a new girl in town and he was losing Jen to her old New York ways.
At least I still have Joey. He thought thanking heaven for the one stable thing in his whirlwind life. He knew things between them would always be the same . It was right out of a good movie. He and Joey would happily date all through high school. They would be accepted at the same collage and get engaged their second year. He would go on to become a famous director, and she will give up some of her art to star in all his movies. They would have children of course, a boy and a girl. They would live happily together till a ripe old age when they would die in their sleep in eachother's arms.
If Joey would have known what I was thinking she would laugh. She always remarked he couldn't live in the real world.
Dawson fell asleep with that thought on his mind.
"Joey table four needs their order taken, NOW!" Bessie screamed to her little sister the next afternoon at the IceHouse. Lunch time was always the busiest time of the day and they were understaffed.
"Joey struggled to carry the heavy drink tray to an angry table six. The tray wobbled slightly and she stopped fearing it will fall. "I'm busy Bessie! Do it your self for a change!" She snapped back. She regained her balance and took a tentative step forward, then another. In the middle of the room she tripped over the loose throw rug and flew forward. Jack caught her just in time.
"Whoa Joey! Are you OK? " He asked taking the tray off of her." Do you need a little help?"
"I-I'm fine Jack." She stammered out. Being that close to Jack made her feel uncomfortable. The only time they were as close together as they were now was when he kissed her. She felt her face grow hot.
No. She firmly told herself. I don't feel anything for him. Then why am I feeling so queasy all of a sudden? I must be getting sick or something. It couldn't be because of Jack. This is the way I feel about Dawson. Jack is a friend. Yeah. A good friend. Joey looked up and saw Jack staring at her strangely.
"Joey are you sure you are OK? Your face is turning red." Jack asked her concerned. Without thinking about it he took his free hand and brushed her hair off her forehead.
Joey shivered at Jack's touch. She cleared her throat. " I'm OK Jack. Fine. Great! Never better!"
Jack gave her another skeptic look. "Are you sure? You look like you need to go sit down with a glass of cool water." Then he gave her a look of panic. "Hey you're not mad at me are you?"
"No Jack." She struggled out mentally counting the reasons she could be mad at him for.
"Oh, that's good. I was so worried. Joey I want to apologize for my actions the other night. I was way out of line. I had no right to kiss you. I knew you had a boyfriend and I did it anyway. I know I really don't deserve your friendship right now, but could we please be friends again?" He pleaded.
Joey's harsh glare softened at the profoundness of Jack's words. "I'd like that." She said softly. She thought back to the kiss and realized the reason she was so scared. I liked that kiss. I liked it a lot.
"Hey Joey are you sure you are OK?" He asked again.
"Yeah." She replied giving him a half smile.
"Great. I was wondering if you'd like to go to the art gallery after work tonight. There is a showing of this great new impressionist artist I think you would like." He asked carefully bracing himself for the no he was sure he'd hear.
"OK. I'd like to go with you." She replied much to Jack's suprise.
"Great! Uh oh Bessie looks a little pissed off." Jack said gesturing to a fuming Bessie glaring at them from the kitchen door.
"Joey the drinks!" She demanded before giving her one last disapproving glare and retreating to the kitchen.
"I better go before world war three breaks out." Joey said reaching for the tray of drinks. Jack held it out of her reach.
"Hey !" She exclaimed reaching for it again. Jack just held it further.
"No I'll get this one . You need a break." He replied.
"But Jack I..." She started but he cut her off.
"No. Go outside and take a drink. I'll tell Bessie where you are. If she yells I'll blame it on me. No go." He said. Joey gave him a smile, got a glass of Coke and went outside.
She sat on the black iron park bench that over looked the water. She turned her head and was surprised to see her boyfriend running towards her. He reached her out of breath and she handed him her glass. He took a gulp and sat down next to her.
"Thanks Jo." He said putting his arm around her.
"No prob. What are you doing in these neck of the woods?" She asked curiously because Screenplay Video where he worked was at least two blocks from the IceHouse.
"Nothing in particular. I just came to say hi." he stated.
Joey smiled at him as he leaned forward to give her a tender kiss.
Jack looked at the happy couple from the front window of the restaurant. Enjoy it while it lasts Dawson. He thought. He really didn't want to hurt anyone. He wasn't that type of person. All he asked for was the girl he loved. Is that too much to ask? He thought. He decided it was time for Joey to get back to work where she belonged.
He leaned his head out the door and hollered "Jo. Bessie said break is up."
"Jo? Hey I thought I was the only person to call you Jo." He faked jealously. Joey just laughed and brought her forehead to his.
"Jealous?" She teased.
"Very." He teased back. They laughed and kissed one more time goodbye. She savored his sweet kiss like it was their last. In his embrace she felt so safe, loved and warm.
Dawson held her close and breathed in the sent of her shampoo and perfume and that special scent that was just her. He sighed and thought about how lucky he was.
"Joey get your butt back in here!" Bessie shrieked from within the IceHouse. Reluctantly the couple separated.
"I better get in there before she starts breathing fire." She sadly said after a moment of heavy silence.
"Yeah I have to get back to work myself. Pacey is covering for me." Dawson replied. Neither of them moved.
"Okay." Joey stated not really knowing what to say.
Dawson got a brilliant idea in his head. "Hey Jo. What time are you getting off of work?" he asked.
"Six why?" she wanted to know.
"Want to do something after work? You know see a movie, something?" he eagerly asked her.
Joey winced knowing the words she was about to say were going to hurt him. "I can't Dawson. I sort of have these plans with Jack." She admitted.
Dawson's face fell. He saw how Jack sometimes looked at his girlfriend. "Oh. Can't you bag?"
"Bag what?" Joey asked distracted.
Dawson looked at her strangely. He was starting to get worried about her. She hadn't been acting the same since the night of the full moon. "Are you OK? You sound like you didn't hear a word I said?"
"I'm fine Dawson. Just a little tired. OK, what do you want me to bag?" She asked.
"Your plans with Jack." He replied
"Dawson I'm sorry but I can't. I'd feel bad. He really doesn't know anyone in Capeside." She responded guiltily
Ok. So she has plans. Big deal. She can't go out with me one night of the week. I know she loves me. Of course she loves me. Then why is she going with Jack instead of me? Can I trust her reason? Are his intentions friendly? What if
"Hey Dawson. Snap out of it. Don't try to analyze this." He gave her a disbelieving look. Joey laughed. "Face it Leery. I could see the wheels in your head turning. Jack and I are friends. Nothing is going on." She lied. "OK? You have nothing to worry about." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. "Get back to work!" She demanded
"Bye Jo. Have fun." Dawson said before walking away. Joey watched him retreat and sighed. That's the first time I ever lied to him. She thought sadly disappearing into the IceHouse
"What do you think of this one Joey?" Jack asked pointing to a large drawing of snakelike black lines
"Very interesting." She answered honestly
"Yeah isn't it great. I think he was trying to express his anger about our society." He replied with feeling
It looks like Bessie did after I came in a half hour late from break! She thought. She then burst out laughing
Jack looked at her questioningly. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing really. I was just recalling how red Bessie's face was after I walked in late. I was lucky I was with Dawson or she would have killed me on the spot!" she said laughing
"Yeah her face turned about three shades of red!" Jack joined in laughing
"Five I counted!" Joey threw in. People were staring at them and shaking their heads, but they didn't care
Jack stopped laughing first. "so she didn't kill you because of Dawson? Why
Joey wiped the tears from her eyes." She has knew how long I liked him and now that we're together she wants us to spend as much time together as possible."
"Oh. Okay." Jack said
Joey studied his face. He is cute. She found herself thinking. Smart too, and funny. Someday he's going to make a girl a great boyfriend
"Are you OK?" Jack asked. She looked up into the hypnotic gaze of Jack's eyes
"I'm fine" She replied softly never breaking the gaze. She felt the same spark that was there when Jack had kissed her for the first time
With his eyes never leaving hers he tilted up her chin and kissed her softly on her lips.
Suprised Joey opened her mouth to protest but Jack slipped his tongue through the opening and glided it along hers.
She closed her eyes and let herself go. The kiss it's self was soft, sweet, and gentle. Joey broke away a few seconds later. "Jack w-what was that? I have a boyfriend!"
Jack closed his eyes. "Joey I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. I didn't plan it! I'm such a fool. A fool for..."
Joey's furious gaze softened. "For what?"
Jack opened his eyes and she could see all the hurt and pain in them. "I'm a fool for wanting you like I do." He said so softly it almost came out a whisper
Joey gasped. A million thoughts and feelings ran through her all at once
"But you have a great boyfriend who is also your best friend. You've known each other all your lives. How can I compete?" he asked forlornly
"Jack, the problem is you can. I love Dawson, but I also feel something for you. I can't explain it. I'm not even sure what those feelings are. I'm so scared of losing Dawson, But I'm also scared of missing out on something wonderful with you. We can't kiss again Jack. I could handle one, I don't know if I can handle two, but I know a third one will break me."
"I understand Joey and I feel the same way. I don't want to break you and Dawson up. I'm scared of losing you and your friendship. You are the only friend I have in Capeside. No more kisses I promise!" he exclaimed
"OK I believe you." She said laughing. They hugged. Then the expression in Jack's eyes changed and he kissed her again. Joey broke away
"Jack! I thought you said
"Joey I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I let my emotions take control!" He tried to explain
"I gotta go." Joey said and she turned and ran without even saying goodbye
Jack watched her go and sighed. You'll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again. You blew it! he scolded himself
Dawson couldn't wait. In a few minutes Joey would be over for their traditional Friday night movie night
He heard a familiar sound of a ladder being climbed outside his window. Joey climbed into his room
She looks beautiful. He thought admiring the way the light shone off her brown hair
They took their usual seats on the bed and Dawson popped in the movie. A few minutes into the movie Dawson slid closer to her and gazed into her eyes. Movie quickly turned into makeout night.
Joey felt guilty for a moment thinking about Jack's kisses earlier but lost herself in Dawson's kisses and his warmth. She ran her fingers through his sandy blond curls and she shivered when his hands made slow circles on her back. The sound of the ladder clinking outside the window brought them both back to reality
Dammit Pacey! she thought cursing the only person she knew that could have such bad timing
"Ignore him and maybe he'll go away." Dawson muttered before kissing her again. They lost themselves in eachother until they heard a weak girl's voice say "Dawson"
Not bothering to get up they both looked towards the window to see Jen shakily climb into his room
"Dawson I... oh I'm so sorry! Did I interrupt something?" She asked when she saw them together on the bed
"Obviously!" Joey muttered under her breath
Dawson poked her in the ribs. "No it's OK Jen." He replied
"I just had a little too much to drink. Oh god the room is spinning!" Jen cried turning slightly green. She keeled over moaning
"Joey! Get her to the bathroom!" Dawson cried pushing her off the bed. Joey grabbed Jen's arm and they raced for the toilet. Jen kneeled down while Joey stroked her hair to calm her down. When she was finished Joey got a Dixie cup and filled it with cold water
"Thanks." Jen mumbled grabbing the water gratefully. The walked into the bedroom and Dawson announced he was going to walk Jen home
"I'll be right back." he promised. They left and Joey sat down on his bed to think. She thought about Dawson, and their relationship. She thought about Jack and came to a decision.
Dawson was back a few minutes later. "OK I'm sorry. Where did we leave off?" He asked taking her into his arms and kissing her again. Joey broke away from the kiss
"Joey is everything OK?" he asked confused
Joey took a deep breath. "No everything is not OK. I've done something horrible and I can't hide it from you anymore. I'm afraid you'll hate me!" She confessed with tears in her eyes.
"Joey I could never hate you. Please tell me what is wrong." He kindly told her
"I-I-I-I-I kissed Jack!" She exclaimed
Dawson's face fell and an angry look replaced the tenderness that was there before. "You did what?" he shouted
"It was an accident! I didn't want it to happen! It just did! I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you!" She pleaded
"Did it mean anything to you. Just tell me that." He demanded grabbing her by the shoulders.
Joey shrunk back and he held on to her tighter.
"Joey just look me in the eye and tell me it didn't mean anything to you. Then we can go on like it never happened." Dawson said intently. That was all he had to hear and he'd forgive her. Then life could go on
Joey looked him in the eyes and opened her mouth to say something. Then she closed it and looked down at the floor
"Dawson I can't do that. I'm sorry." Joey said softly
With those words Dawson felt his heart break and his life shatter down around him. "But why?" He asked her like a lost child
"Because then I would be lying to you. I couldn't do that. The kiss didn't mean a lot but it meant enough to make me think. I felt a spark there Dawson." She confessed
Tears started pouring down Dawson's cheeks and seeing them there made Joey cry too
"It can't end this way Joey! I love you!" Dawson cried
"Dawson I love you too! I love you more than anything in the world!" She exclaimed
"Then why can't Things go back to the way they were before?" He asked wiping his tears away with the back of his hand
"Because I have feelings for Jack. Not as strong as the ones I feel for you, but they are still there. I can never be with you if I don't find out what they are. I'd feel so guilty if I thought of him when I'm kissing you. Dawson If you really truly love me, let me go. I need to sort out my feelings for Jack. I want to know if they are just of friendship or something more." Joey pleaded.
"I thought we were going to be together forever." Dawson said sadly
"Believe me Dawson so did I." Joey reassured him
She wiped her tears off her cheeks. Never since the death of her mother had she cried this much. Dawson knew she was hurting. All he wanted to do was kiss her tears away and take her into his arms. He anted to make the hurt go away. He wanted to soothe her and reassure her that everything was going to be OK. She looked so fragile that he was afraid she's break if he dared to touch her. But she wasn't his to take into his arms and comfort anymore
"Dawson please say something. Don't just stare at me like that." Joey said
"I'm speechless Joey. I'll let you go if you promise you'll come back. OK? Take all the time you need. Just come back to me when this is all over." Dawson replied his heart breaking with every word he said
"I can't promise that Dawson. I wish I could but I don't know if I can. I can promise we'll always be best friends though no matter what." She said. Her heart was breaking and she knew how much she was hurting him, but she had to do this
"Promise me you'll be there for me Dawson, and you'll wait for me. Please Dawson. I' waited so long for you." She pleaded fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I promise Jo." Dawson whispered
Joey wrapped her arms around Dawson's neck and they drew together in a tight hug.
Dawson breathed her in, her perfume and the scent that was hers alone.
"One last kiss Dawson. Just one." Joey whispered
They broke apart and Dawson brought his lips to hers for a bittersweet kiss, sweet, yet salty with the mixture of their tears
They both savored the kiss because deep down they both knew it could be the last they ever shared
Joey broke away. She knew if she didn't leave soon she would go back on everything she just said just to be in his arms. As hard as it was she needed to do it
"I gotta go Dawson." She said softly
"Don't!" Dawson pleaded
"I have to. Goodbye Dawson." She said walking to the window ad opened it
"Joey no! Don't leave! I love you!" he cried. She left out the window ignoring his pleas. Dawson ran to the window and leaned out
"Don't leave me Joey! I love you!" he screamed until his voice grew horse. He saw the light go on in Jen's grandmother's house next-door but didn't care. It only encouraged him
"Joey come back. Don't leave me. I love you! I love you! I love you!" he screamed with all his might. It was no use, she was gone. He flung himself on his bed and cried into his pillow whispering" Don't leave Joey. Don't leave me. I love you
Joey reached the woods behind the Leery home. It killed her not to run back to Dawson, to take him into her arms and comfort him. She ignored his pleas and cries and left him. It was hard and it hurt but she knew in a way it was the right thing to do. "Goodbye Dawson." She whispered into the wind. "I love you... forever
Like it? Hate it? please send feedback! I love it! OK that's all for now. Part two coming soon! (did you think I'd leave it like this???)
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