There once were three siblings named Harry, Hermione, and Ron. They lived in a huge mansion with their parents, Lily and James Baudelaire, until one day, one grey day like any other, while amusing themselves on Briny Beach, they got some terrible news. This was heralded to them in a most unpleasant manner. Out of the fog came a man whom the Baudelaires recognized—he was Mr. Dursley, a friend of their parents, and he was a banker. (He used to work at a firm called Grunnings, but was fired after an incident with the Vice President's Wife, a Bird, and a Pudding.)
Mr. Dursley coughed loudly into his handkerchief, while Harry, Hermione, and Ron looked at each other in confusion. Why was Mr. Dursley here, on Briny Beach?
Finally, Mr. Dursley stopped coughing, and fixed them with a very mournful stare. "I'm sorry to say," he said, not sounding at all sorry, "that your parents have died in a terrible fire."