Opposites Attract?
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Raistlin Majere, Lady Crysania of Tarinius or anything else pertaining to Dragonlance. If I did, I'd have a hell of a lot more pocket money right now.
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It's a beautiful day in Krynn. The bright early autumn sun is shining through the trees of a dense forest. By a nearby stream, a beautiful young cleric holds the frail hand of a rather scary-looking mage against her cheek.
Crysania: (rapturously) We will alter time, you and I! You are more powerful than Fistandantilus. I am stronger in my faith than Denubis! I heard the Kingpriest's demands of the gods. I know his mistake! Paladine will answer my prayers as he has in the past. Together, we will change the ending ... you and I... (looks sappily into his hourglass eyes like a puppy begging to be loved)
Without any warning whatsoever, the two begin to kiss wildly, lowering themselves down onto the dry leaves, like a bunch of overly hormonal teenagers. After all, what else can one expect from a sexually repressed priestess alone with a male virgin in his mid-twenties?
Raistlin: (gasping for much-needed breath) Revered daughter, this is hardly…'riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip'
(wheezes in surprise) That was my only robe, damn you! 'hack'…This is weakness, WEAKNESS!…Oh, who am I trying to fool! Now how do I get this thing off?
Two figures, invisible to the human eye, watch the festivities. Lunitari, the red-haired goddess of neutral magic, tries to hold in peals of amused laughter over the carnal struggle. Her cousin Nuitari, pale, handsome and enigmatic, watches the amorous activities of his black-robed disciple with distaste.
Nuitari: (coldly) How disappointing. I would have thought that the Master of the Past and Present would have been above the temptations of the flesh. Doesn't he know that power is more lasting and satisfying than sex?
Lunitari: (snidely) You certainly seem to, as I can't recall you having a date since the Age of Starbirth.
Nuitari: Silence! It's not my fault I am related to just about every other deity…Do you hear THAT?
(The two gods listen in silence as the sounds of violent hacking and chocking all but drown out the rustling of garments and the cleric's sighs.)
Nuitari: …Twenty steel pieces says that he will suffer cardiac arrest before their little interlude is over.
Lunitari: What! I'd be crazy to take that bet...
Crysania: Ow! Your ribs!
Raistlin: Sorry.
Lunitari: So what does this mean, Nuitari? Do you think Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou has succeeded into converting him to the side of good?
Nuitari: Oh ye of little faith. No, he will probably turn out like Ladonna, who shags that elderly white-robe in her spare time.
Lunitari: Ugh! Could there be anything more disgusti? (glances back at the happy couple) FATHER CHAOS! She's KILLING him!
Nuitari: Heh, I didn't know mortals were capable of that. You would think their weak spines would snap from the intense strain.
Raistlin: (cracking noise) 'wheeze' Dammit!…