Happy March y'all! This is the first story from my old account that I've decided to move over. I had only posted one chapter back then but I've written so much more, and I actually really like it :) So here goes nothing. Wooo.
This story is Rosalie-centric, and it's a little dark at first. She has a dark past and I really wanted to dig into what effects that would have on her. It's all human, so she and Emmett aren't romantically involved; they're just adoptive siblings. Well, almost. She and Jasper are still foster kids but the Cullens are in the adoption process. Same with Jazz and Alice, they aren't dating or anything.
Just to make everything clear before I stop rambling: Emmett is 19, Edward is 18, Alice is 16, Rose and Jazz are 17. Okay, I'll stop talking now and get on with the story. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1
"It's a peculiar feeling, depression. In fact, it's hardly a feeling: it's a numbness of the endorphins. Like nothing can make you happy. You're trapped inside of yourself."
-Anonymous
The blonde was intriguing. Some of the girls in the chairs tried to take their eyes off of her, but always found themselves looking back at the unknown beauty. She had a pair of large sunglasses balancing on top of her head, her thick golden curls flowing down to her shoulders. She had yet to look up into the circle of teenage girls; she had been focusing on her fingernails for the five minutes she'd been sitting in the chair.
The sound of a scraping chair against the tile floor led some of the girls to exhale with relief; Marta had finally arrived. The empty space in the circle of chairs was filled as Marta placed her chair there and sat down.
For a moment, the group therapist was all smiles as she surveyed the girls around her. "Well. First of all, I hope you all are having a wonderful Thanksgiving break. Now, I'd like to introduce a new member to our group."
All heads instantly swerved towards the blonde, who was staring at her lap. She feigned a small smile and raised a hand slightly.
"Can you introduce yourself to the group, honey?" Marta asked the newcomer from across the circle.
The blonde sighed and looked up; she stared at the wall behind Marta so that she wouldn't have to make eye contact with any of these girls. "My name's Rosalie," she stated lightly, shifting in her seat.
Marta smiled kindly but did not seem satisfied. "Hello, Rosalie. Now, in our group, we believe that admitting to what you've done out loud is the first step to recovery. We all know the reason you are here, or else you wouldn't be in this group therapy session. Would you like to share?"
Rosalie tried to hold in her sudden anger but knew it was no use. She was never good at hiding her feelings. "Admit to what I've done?" she repeated icily, disgust dripping from every word. "Admit? Like I'm some kind of criminal?"
Marta was taken aback but composed herself quickly. "Rosalie, I assure you, it isn't our intent to judge. All of these young ladies have gone through similar struggles, and learning to tell others what you've done is an important step towards going in the right direction, learning to trust again."
The blonde was breathing heavily through her nose, looking around the small room furiously. "And what if I'm not ready to trust anyone?" she asked bitterly. "Are you going to kick me out?"
Marta tilted her head, trying to find the right words. "I'd ask you to wait until you were ready to put your trust in the group for you to return."
Rosalie stood up, running her hand through her flawless golden locks and then slapping her hands at her sides. "Fine," she hissed at the group leader. "My name's Rosalie Hale, and I tried to kill myself last month."
Rosalie didn't know what she was supposed to feel, but she definitely didn't feel better. She felt as if her chest was swelling up and she felt pressure behind her tear ducts. On instinct, the blonde shoved her large sunglasses back onto her face and walked quickly out of the room.
Once she was outside the Port Angeles psychiatric facility, Rosalie stopped walking and put her hand to her forehead. She began to slowly pace back and forth, well aware of the tears beginning to fall. She finally sat down on the sidewalk, her back leaning against the wall, her head buried in between her kneecaps.
"Rosalie," the teenager heard her name being called after several minutes. She looked up and saw Carlisle's black Mercedes on the street in front of her, Esme in the driver's seat. She did not have a surprised look on her face; it was more of an I-figured-this-would-happen expression.
The blonde wordlessly stood up and attempted to wipe away her tears in one quick swipe of her sleeve. She jogged over to her foster mother's car and slammed the passenger door shut.
Esme sighed as she pulled out of the parking lot. "You promised me you'd give it ten minutes, Rose. What happened?" she asked, pulling out of the parking lot. Rosalie stared out the window, refusing to look in the brunette woman's direction.
"This isn't fair," she finally said in a dark voice. "Why are you punishing me?"
Esme sighed, pulling onto the highway. "Rose, honey, we aren't trying to punish you. We're trying to help you. You're clearly having some issues right now that are beyond the point of me and Carlisle helping you by ourselves. We don't want this to happen again."
Rosalie slipped her sunglasses back on, staring out the window with a fixed pout on her face. She tried to focus on each of the dashed white lines dizzyingly disappearing behind the car; she was tired of feeling. She was tired of emotions. She wanted to be numb.
The teenager finally let out a sigh as her foster mother pulled into the long, winding driveway of the giant home of the Cullens. She and her twin brother Jasper had been with them for around three years now. The adoption process was taking a while, but it was going to be official within the year. Rosalie smirked, remembering that day one and a half years ago when Carlisle and Esme had sat at the table with her and Jasper. She remembered the overflowing feeling of belonging and joy when the Cullens announced that they wanted to adopt them.
Now, Rosalie rolled her eyes from behind her sunglasses. The feeling was long gone. She didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered to her. She had no idea why, but it was the truth.
Life didn't seem worth living anymore to Rosalie Hale.
Esme turned off the ignition, and Rosalie hopped out and slammed the door to avoid any conversation with Esme. In fact, she was hoping to get to her room before anyone else saw her, but that was a challenge in and of itself.
Upon opening the garage door, she was met with the four curious and expectant faces of her brothers and sister.
"How was the loony bin, Rose?' Emmett asked as she brushed past him, making a beeline for the stairs. She could picture his goofy smirk and wanted to turn around and punch him in the face.
"Rosalie, talk to me, what's wrong? You were gone for an awfully short amount of time, and so I was just wondering, because I thought it'd be longer. Was it a short session or was it a long session and you're just here for a break or was it—"
"Alice, shut up!" Rosalie turned around to face her sister. She immediately saw the hurt on Alice's face but didn't have it in her to apologize. It would be easier to die if everyone hated her, anyway.
"Let's leave Rosalie alone, guys," Edward said to the others. Rosalie was thankful there was at least one semi-normal sibling and that all of them weren't so annoying.
She glanced over at her fraternal twin brother. She knew that he was still upset with her about what she'd done. He was mad because he thought that if Rosalie was gone, the Cullens would see no point in adopting just him. Rosalie wanted to tell him that it so wasn't true, that the Cullens probably liked him more than her, but she didn't.
Emmett and Alice continued to follow her up the stairs, pestering her to talk. "Rose, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think you'recrazy. Those other people in your group therapy are probably jealous that you're so normal," Emmett tried to reason with her. The blonde stomped up the stairs faster.
"Rosalie, I need to know if you're okay. I can't let you be alone anymore without worrying you'll do something you're going to regret," Alice pleaded. Finally, Rosalie Hale couldn't take it anymore.
"I don't need you to babysitme, Alice, I'm olderthan you!" Rosalie snapped at her sister. She then looked from her two siblings on the stairs to the two still in the living room. "All of you need to cut it the fuck out. Stop walking on eggshells around me, stop trying to tell me how much I've hurt you, because guess what, it only makes me feel worse. Just leave me the fuck alone." And with that she ran up the rest of the stairs, nobody following her as she slammed her door shut.
Tears blurred her vision, but she didn't care. The seventeen year old stumbled towards her nightstand and yanked the drawer open, her heavy crying forcing her to gasp for breath. She slammed her hand on her clock radio and turned the volume all the way up. The blonde then dug under all of the loose receipts and chapstick and dried-out sharpies until she felt what she was searching for. Pulling down her expensive jeans to her knees, she sat on the bed and let out a pressing sob before placing the razor over the multiple white lines grazing her thigh.
A/N: Sorry it was so short; my first author's note was probably longer than the chapter. Oh well. This is just kind of an introduction, the next chapter is when we meet Jacob *insert swooning*. Review please? Love it, hate it so far? Please let me know! Thanks!