I came up with this idea out of nowhere, and it just kept going. I hope you enjoy it!
June 2011
We were Damon and Elena.
And we could have been epic. Correction, we would haven been if I just let us be. And it's all flashing in front of my eyes. We would be happy together, we would fight monumentally, but we would always make up. He would easily forgive me and I would ineviteably forgive him. Because I always did. No matter what. It was what we did, it was what made us, us. We fought like nobody else, we forgave the unforgiveable. Because with us the unforgiveable happened alot. We would go to the grill and he would drink, we would play pool and then we would come home. He would stare at me with those oceanic eyes, he would hold me, touch me and make me forget my name. He would give me as much normalcly as he could and then when life got to be too much he would kidnap me for one of our roadtrips. I would fight him saying I had school and I couldn't leave Jeremy, and he would say just five minutes, Elena, and I would give in. Just because he was Damon and he loved me. I would graduate high school and go to college and he would be by me every step of the way. I would move into the boarding house, and we would be happy. He would protect me from anything that came at us. That was one thing I knew I could count on no matter what.
I could love him forever, even though I didn't think I wanted forever. It would always be Damon and I. Because he would never leave me, because he loved me enough to give up and risk everything,
"I know you love Stefan, that it will always be Stefan, but I love you. You should know that."
"I do." I tell him as I place a kiss on his lips. A kiss he thanked me for. I knew he was thanking me because he thought I was doing it for him. A part of me wished that was why I was doing it. But I was too selfish for that, my heart knew the real reason. It was because I was breaking inside at the thought of him not having forever anymore. I could not imagine a world where he didn't exist. I didn't know how to live in a world without Damon Salvatore anymore. I didn't want to.
And I thought I was going to have to. He was dying, and a part of me was too, but it turned out he wasn't going to die after all and I didnt have to find out what a Damon-less world would be like.
Katherine had brought the cure and gave us the news about Stefan. I immediately pushed every thought I had of Damon away , simply because he was going to be okay and Stefan wasn't. Stefan was away giving up his life for his brother while I was here finding out how much I couldn't lose Damon, and realizing what my life could be with the other brother.
July 2011
Damon and I were now living a Stefan-less life. He had given up everything to save Damon. I was grateful and appalled all at the same time. There was always the choice for me. Stefan or Damon. Even though I proclaimed that It would always be Stefan, I still knew there was a choice. But Stefan took that away from me, and I hated him for it. I hate who he's become. I hate that he left me after I had lost so much. I knew it sounded selfish, spoiled, but it was the truth.
But tonight was just another night. Another hotel room. Another fight. This was what our life was. The summer before my senior year spent searching for my now sadistic killer of a vampire boyfriend. We had reached another dead end, another false lead. We were both ready to go home, we were exhausted and being wrong and dissappointed all the time didn't make things any better.
"Are you going to just ignore me now?"
"Yes."
"That's mature." He cocks his head at me, and I look into his undeniably beautiful eyes. I could read everything he was thinking just by looking at them. I needed to see something other in them than I was seeing, they were sad, and I could not handle sad.
"Comming from you that means nothing." I snap back at him.
"Do we have to do this again?" He asks tiredly.
"Yes." Yes, we did. Because if we didn't I would have no reason to pretend to hate him so he wouldn't bring up that night again.
"Well fine. Be that way." He pulls on his jacket and heads for the door.
"Where are you going?" I ask as I jump off the bed and run in front of him. A lump forms in my throat. He has never left me before.
"I need to get away from you."
"Why? Look too much like Katherine for you?" I spat out, I needed to see that fire in him, the fire that brought out the fire in me so many times before. I knew it was low. I couldn't help it. Hurting him was so easy. It was the only way to get him to hate me, because lets face it hate was better than feeling nothing at all. I couldn't let him shut down, not now. The hate never came though, no matter how much I pushed. His eyes darken and he lookes at me with disgust.
"No, I can tell the two of you apart easisly, and you know it. You love that I can too, even if you won't admit it. I'm leaving because I'm tired of having this discussion with you again. I'm tired of trying to pretend that watching you throw your life away is easy as pie. Stefan isn't a saint as much as everyone thinks he is. I'm tired of being used as you so greatly can use me because you know I'd do anything for you. I need you to stop being nice to me, stop pretending to care, stop acting like we have something. We clearly have nothing." His words sent chills down my whole body, they scared me more than the thought of facing Klaus again. He meant and belived every word he said. As he pulls open the door and I pull on his arm to stop him, he turns and faces me.
"Your the liar, Damon."
"I never said you were a liar, Elena."
"Yes, you did. months ago. You think I pretend to care? You want me to stop acting like we have something because we clearly don't? Your the liar Damon Salvatore. I'm trying to save us the hurt. I'm trying to save Stefan." He tucks a stand of hair behind my ear, runs his fingers down my cheek, and god did I love the way he felt against my skin. He looks at me with those eyes that I know I could drown in.
"It will always be Stefan." He says and he's gone before I can blink. And when I do blink again tears run down my cheeks. I sink to the floor. I never wanted to watch him walk away from me, but I don't know how to stop pushing. Being with Damon makes me feel alive. After everything that happened, what we lost, we still had each other, and that's what mattered.
August 2011
"Elena, we have to go home. You have to go back to school. Someone needs to be there for Jeremy."
"Now you care about him?"
"I am so tired of your attitude. I've done nothing but help you these past few months."
"And do you remember what you did before that?"
"Is this how you forgive?" He asks hurt and angry.
"Excuse me?" I knew very well what he was talking about, but he was all I had. He was the only one I could hurt like this because he could take it.
"Everytime we lose Stefan's trail again you lash out on me, and frankly I'm sick of it."
"Your sick of it?"
"Yes, your holier than thou attitude sucks. I'm trying Elena. I don't know what else you want from me."
"I want you to get me Stefan back."
"I don't think I can do that." I knew he was telling the truth.
"The only reason you won't is because you think if he's not here you get me."
"The last thing I want is you by default."
"Good because you won't get me by default." The words come out soft and sincere, they put a little light back into his eyes, and it wasn't what I was trying to do. They came out before I could stop them. They were true but I didn't want to give him hope. Because if we found Stefan how could I go back to him after finding out how much I felt for Damon? And Stefan would need me. So I did the only thing I knew next. "But I will never be yours Damon."
"Now your the liar Elena. You could be mine your just scared to be. Your afraid of what we could be."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is." He flashes in front of me, invading my personal space as only he can do. His hands are grabbing onto my arms and his proximity makes me breathe harder. He always pushed too far, and now I would have to push back.
"I hate you." I say the words with as much venom as I can, I try to break his gaze, try to move but he wouldn't let me. He was calling my bluff, and for that I did hate him.
"Say it like you believe it. Make me believe it." His words were challenging. I tried to find whatever courage I had left inside of me and said said the words as forceful as possible.
"I hate you Damon." I heard my own voice and it was weak. There was no hate behind the words at all and he knew it.
"Liar." Is all he says before he walks away. It was true. I was a liar, and damn him for making me lie to him. It was a blessing and a curse that he knew me so well. We tettered on that fine line between love and hate so much these days. And the worst part was that I loved it. I had never felt more alive.
September 2011
Damon had brought me home for my birthday. I mostly think he brought me because things were so tense with us. He needed a night away. An Elena free night. Funny thing, even though I pretened to not care I didn't want a Damon free night. I felt alone even though I was with Bonnie and Caroline. We had a girls day and then went to the Grill to meet up with Jeremy, Tyler and Alaric to celebrate my birthday. I was so glad to be here with everyone. A part of me wanted Stefan to be here, but most of all I wished Damon were here. I let myself get lost in girl talk for a while and we all ate dinner. I was filled in on every little thing I missed.
"Can I steal the birthday girl for a few minutes?" Damon. His voice was so angelic, just by looking at him you'd know he was the dangerous bad boy that you should stay away from, but once you got to know the real him he wasn't so scary. But none of that other stuff mattered because he came. I get up out of my seat and throw my arms around him, I had given up on him returning them, but just as I was about to pull away he enveloped me tightly. We still had not made ammends from our last fight but this was him telling me I was forgiven for the lying harsh words I had thrown at him, and it felt like I could breathe again.
"Sure you can." I tell him before turning to everyone, who were all clearly confused as to what they missed. Damon and I had an understanding, one that went so much further than it should. "I'll be right back."
"You came." I lean into him and link my arm in his, I follow him to his car and we get in.
"Of course. I wanted to give you this."
"Damon." I say as he hands me a huge box."You have already given me too much."
"Maybe, but you needed this." I smile at him and pull off the ribbon. The first thing I pull out is a framed portrait of my whole family. My mom and dad, Uncle John and Aunt Jenna with Jer and I. Tears form in my eyes immediately. The second thing I pull out is a leather jacket. I laugh at this one, because I was always wearing Damon's when we were on the road. It was warm and comfortable. The last thing is a small box. I open it up to a new necklace. It had vervain in it, but I had never seen it before. It looked old.
"It's beautiful."
"It was my mothers. I want you to have it. You need it since you refuse to wear the other one." He's careful not to say his name.
"Damon..."
"Please don't argue with me. For once in you life just hold it in."
"I was just going to say thank you." I smile at him like I haven't smiled in ages. It's real and it's genuine, and happy.
"Oh, in that case, your welcome."
"I love everything. This means so much to me." I stifle a sob.
"Again, your welcome."
"I don't say it enough, hell I never say it, right now I'm going to though. You mean so much to me. You should know that." I mimic my last words to match the ones he told me that night, hoping he will see how true they are, and he does because he smiles one of those real smiles that only I get and I wrap my arms around him. He holds onto me like there was no tomorrow, and I makes me feel safe. This was a perfect birthday.
October 2011
We had searched for Stefan as much as possible. I was back in school and Damon still was head of the council. We could not just vanish for days on end anymore. On the weekends we did research, we took our trips to where attacks were happening to see if we could find leads. Nothing. Everything lead to nothing.
Damon and I had made progress. We no longer fought everyday. We laughed, we talked, we became real friends. We cooked, we read, we played pool, we drank and sometimes we just sat in silence. Everything worked for us.
"Damon?" I said, standing in his doorway.
"Yes Elena?"
"Can I stay with you tonight?" I ask walking into his dark room. I knew it like the back of my hand now. This is where we had our conversations. This is where he bared his soul to me, this is where we could just be Damon and Elena.
"Sure." He says rolling over and looking at me as I lay down next to him. "You okay?"
"Yeah. This place is just so big. I feel lonely down at the other end."
"Ric's down there." He tells me as he pulls the covers around me.
"I know."
"What Elena? Say whatever it is that you feel the need to. Purge."
"I don't like being so far away from you."
"Oh." Clearly not what he was expecting.
"You can take one of the rooms next to mine."
"Okay. I'll move my stuff into one of them tomorrow, but tomorrow is one of the nights I spend at my house with Jeremy, so I won't be back at night." I split my time between my house and the boarding house anymore. I didn't like being away from either of them for long periods of time. This was the only solution that worked.
"I can clean one out for you tomorrow, and get it ready for you."
"Thanks." I tell him and move closer. I lean my hear on his shoulder. "Damon?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't blame you. I never have." He had to know what I was talking about. We never talked about it but we both thought of it often. I was sure of it.
"You should."
"I don't. I still have you."
"It's not enough. You don't deserve to be stuck with me. You deserve..."
"Stop. Don't act like I'm stuck with you. Your not second best. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because being with you feels normal."
"I agree."
December 2011
Damon had bought me a tree and decorations. He was even letting me have Christmas at the Boarding House. Everyone was comming, as long as he could cook. I had spent weeks trying to find Damon the perfect gift. That was untill I relazied I didn't have to look far. In his dresser he had a picture that must have been taken on his phone when we were in Georgia. It was small and fading. A regular print out off the computer. I knew excatally what I would do. I scaned it, touched it up, blew it up and framed it. Along with an old picture of his mother. I was sure it was her. Damon wouldn't have kept anyone else's picture. She had anjelic skin and dark hair. the picture was black and white but I knew she had blue eyes. She was beautiful, and Damon took after her. When I looked at him after I saw the picture I saw the smile that she clearly passed onto him.
Christmas went off without a hitch. Everyone came, we exchanged gifts and had the best time. I missed Jenna, and I could tell Jeremy did too. It wasn't the same with out her.
Damon and I waited to exchange till we were alone. For some reason it meant more with just him and I.
I went first. I opened the small box. A beautiful black onyx ring.
"I'm not proposing or anything, can you really picutre me getting married? Don't freak out. Again, it was my mother's. I never thought anyone would make me feel what you have. Make me into the better man, the man I know my mother would be proud of."
"I adore it Damon. Thank you." I slipped it onto my middle finger, and handed Damon his gift. Hearing his words to me I knew that he would love his gift.
He opened the box and pulled out the two picutre frames. He smiled at both of them. I didn't want him to be mad I went though his things, I wasn't sure what to expect till he looked up at me, there were tears in his eyes. He set the pictures down and pulled me to him. I climbed onto his lap and pulled his face up to meet mine. I wiped his tears away and gave him a small smile. Before I knew it I was placing another kiss on his lips and he was thanking me yet again. But for other reasons this time, on both of our parts.
"Stay with me?" He asks quietly.
"Of course." I tell him as we lay down together. This is the first night we sleep entwined with each other.
January 2012
"Damon we have to go. It's Stefan."
"Yes, I know that Elena. You love him, I get it."
"The attacks were less than twenty miles away Damon, and the news lady said it was less than an hour ago. This could be our chance."
"For you to find some insane reason to redeem him?"
"I've done it enough for you, haven't I?" I seeth. Why was he making this so much harder than it already was?
"I've never asked you to find reasons to forgive me. Although I have wanted you to forgive me. I've never murdered thousands of people because I liked it. He's no saint anymore." He says before he downs another damn glass of his precious burbon. I walk up to him take the glass and smash it into the fire place.
He gives into me and we go.
I wish later that we hand't.
February 2012
We don't search for Stefan anymore. We don't need to. He clearly doesn't want to be found, and I don't want to find him anymore. We were all fine with out him. We had Damon.
It was Valentines Day. I was spending it with Damon. He was taking me out with Bonnie and Jerermy and Caroline and Tyler. I was suprised when I found out, but not suprised by the gesture. My Damon did things like this all of the time. He was sweet and scary. Fun and serious. Charming and deadly, but most of all he was my safe haven.
We went to a small Italian restraunt in the next town. I knew it was Damon's choice because it was exteremly fancy. We all got a long pretty well, excpet for the few snarky comments Damon couldn't keep to himself about "judgy" or "wolf boy". I had noticed some couples dancing so after we finished eating I decided why not.
"Dance with me Damon?" I asked. The only one who was suprised by my request was Damon. Everyone else knew. They knew that I felt something for him. Something more than Stefan's brother, or the proverbial friend. Damon was still blind to it, that or he was afraid that it was only because Stefan wasn't here that I wanted him around.
"Why not? I haven't danced with you since the decade dance." He wiggles his eyebrows at me and he takes me hand and pulls me onto the dance floor. 'Ive got moves you never seen before'. He had more than moves I've never seen before. He spun me into him. He held me gently. Caressed my back with his hand, and looked at me with nothing but love in those beautiful blue eyes.
"I like you like this Damon."
"What not a manicial killer?" He says like it's the most natural answer in the world.
"Yeah." I laugh.
"Well I like you like this Elena."
"Huh?"
"Not all depressing and gloomy. Freaking out like it's a job."
"Well I have news for you. I like me like this too. I like who I am with you." I tell him honestly and it's the biggest confession of my feelings for him I've given him in a while.
"Same goes for me." He says pulling me in closer, I rest my head on his shoulder and we hold onto each other untill Caroline clears her throat and tells us the restaruant was closing. We leave hand in hand.
April 2012
"Damon." I simply say his name. I can feel his eyes on me even in the dark, this connection of ours ran deeper than I had thought it did.
"Elena."
"I know you have something to say. Go ahead. Purge." I tell him rolling over and into him and give him a half laugh. Being around him so much was he was rubbing off on me.
"I don't know what would happen to me if I lost you." He says honestly. This is how Iike him most when we talked, raw and vunerable.
"Damon, you won't lose me. I meant it the first time I said it, and I mean it now. I won't leave you."
"Maybe."
"There's no maybe about it."
"There is, I want you, but I can't have you." He says sadly. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted him to have me, but I had no idea how to give myself to him when a part of me was still tied to Stefan.
"I'll always be with you Damon. I'll always be on your side. Never wonder about that." I gave him all I could.
June 2012
Today I was graduated from high school. I was handed my diploma with Damon sitting in the crowd smiling at me and clapping proudly. His smile was glistening, it matched mine. I was truly happy. I was here partly because of him. He would never let me give up. Never letting me follow through with any crazy ideas I had about me not surving. I walked off the stage and ran right into Damon's arms. There was no where else I'd rather be.
August 27, 2012
"Do you know that I met you three years ago today Elena Gilbert?"
"You remember that?" I ask him looking over to this crazy remarkable vampire in the driver seat.
"Yes. I do. I got lucky that the date landed on a weekend this year."
"I should known there was a reason behind this kidnapping."
"And where better to go than the place you realzied you liked me."
"Georgia." I nod my head. It was true. I knew I liked him when we were there alone together. He was so different from when we were back in Mystic Falls. I had the best time at Bree's Bar. This time would be just as good. This time there was only us, no problems back at home, no Stefan. We were just Damon and Elena, and we could be epic, if I only had the guts to let us be.
September 2012
"I think you and Jeremy should live here. Permentaly."
"What about our house?"
"The both of you stay here most of the time. Rent it out. Neither of you really want to be there anyway. Save the money you'd get from it and stay here."
"Okay." Is all I say, and I go back to reading my book, as does he. I know Jeremy would rather be here with Damon and Ric anyway. So would I. This was Damon's way of making a big commitment. This was his way of telling me more than 'i love you', because it was so much more than that with us.
"So I guess all my stuff can go into the room I use when I stay here." I nonchallantly say looking up at him.
"My room is big enough for the both of us if you want." He doesn't even look up, he doesn't have to to know I'm smiling.
"I need alot of closet space."
"That's what the other room will be for. All you extra junk." He smirks back at me.
This was who we were now. Just two people who were happy just being what we were. Human and non-human.
November 2012
The date was November 27th. It was cold, and it felt different.
I would never forget today. Today I came down from the room I now shared with Damon, and headed to the living room where we would sit and have our coffee in front of the fire. We would cuddle up, and just be us. It was the quiet time we both needed and loved sometimes.
Except today Damon wasn't alone.
"Stefan?" Stefan who had been gone for over a year sat across from Damon, who was looking at him with the coldest gaze I had seen in a long time.
This morning I did not sit next to Damon. He did not wrap his arms around me. I did not get as close as I possibly could to him. I didn't lean my head on his shoulder and he didn't let his rest on top of my head.
I ran straight into Stefan's arms this morning. This morning I broke Damon's heart. I saw him get up to leave, pained expression evident on his face.
"Damon..." I called after him.
"It's okay. It will always be Stefan, remember?" He said before disappearing in the blink of an eye. He was letting me go. He was bowing out. Stepping down. Being the better man. And today I hated him for it.
Today Damon was everything I wanted from him and I let him walk away from me. And my heart broke. The tears fell. And Stefan thought they were for him, he tried to soothe me with promises that he would never leave again. I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want him to stay with me either.
It was today...this morning that I had Stefan back in my arms that I realized I was in love with Damon Salvatore.
November 28th
I slept on the couch the night before, waiting for Damon to come back, not sure of my next move. Stefan knew nothing about Damon and I. When I woke up I went to talk to Stefan. He was sitting on the bed waiting for me.
"Where are all your things Elena?"
"I haven't stayed in here since the last time I was in here with you."
"But you were here yesterday morning...oh." Is all he says looking down at the ground for what seems like an eternity. "My brother?"
"He was all I had Stefan."
"That's a lie. You had Jeremy and Alaric. You had..."
"No Stefan. They all needed me to be strong, they all needed someone to depend on. Damon needed nothing from me, he asked for nothing. You left me."
"I came back." He shouted, catching me off gaurd. I had never heard Stefan yell. It was the tone of his voice that showed me that even though he may not be a deliberit murderer, he still wasn't the Stefan I fell in love with.
"Only because Katherine and Elijah found the other originals and brought them back to kill Klaus. She wanted to save you."
"And you didn't?"
"Not anymore. At first it consumed Damon and I. Then I saw what you did. It was too much for me to handle. I needed normacly. I had to start living my life and not putting it on hold because you were gone."
"That wasn't me Elena."
"Yes. It was. Don't get me wrong I'm glad your alive, happy that your back, but what you did was wrong."
"So that's it?"
"Yes."
"We're just over like that?"
"Yes. I'm so sorry, but the things you did were horrible, I can't just forget it. I needed you, but you weren't here. Damon was, he was what we needed. He was the only person Ric would listen to, Jeremy needed a friend, he needed someone to look up to, Caroline needed someone to help her, to talk to, she's still new at the vampire thing. I needed him, we all did."
"It's always Damon, huh?" He says disgusted.
"Funny you should say that, because I always preached that it was always going to be you. I wanted it to always be you. At least I thought I did. Don't bother telling me that I'm like Katherine. I already know it."
"I thought you didn't want to be like her?"
"I didn't." I shrug my shoulders.
"But you don't care that you had both of us?"
"I never had sex with Damon if that's what your implying. But no I don't care anymore. Because I'm not like her. I know how to choose."
"So it's him?"
"Yes. Go ahead, yell at me, tell me I'm just like her."
"I'm not. I want to hate the both of you, but I can't. I left you both and you both loved me enough to try to find me, even though I did dispicable things. You still tried. I walked in the door and he didn't try to kill me, he sat with me and listened to what I had to say, same with you. I can't hate that. The both of you still willing after what I did. I left knowing he would never let anything happen to you, that he would keep you and everone you loved safe. After all these years he's finally better and it's because of you. I can't hate you. I finally have my brother back and now I'm back, neither of us are going anywhere.
December 2012
Five days. Five whole days with out a call or text from Damon. No one had seen him. I was starting to panic. he never left me like this. Ric could not find him, or get ahold of him, and Ric was usually his go to guy. Stefan and Katherine had went looking in a few towns close by after I begged them to. I knew he would be upset and he would be drinking and it was never a good combination.
They came back empty handed.
So I waited.
He finally came back two weeks later on the 19th.
"Why are you in my bed?" He asked rudly and loudly waking me out of my sleep. I sit up and look him dead in the eye.
"It's my bed too."
"Stefan's okay with that?" He asks quizically.
"If you would turn your phone on or bother to call just to make sure I was okay you would know that Stefan and I are no longer together you jackass."
"Your not?"
"Your drunk Damon. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you when your sober." He climbs into bed and I move as far away as I could get from him. There was no way he was getting off that easily or quickly.
Five days before Christmas I was going to battle it out with Damon, over, well...Damon and I. I wake up and before I can roll over to get out of bed Damon is hovering over me.
"What happened after I left?"
"We talked. He went to bed. I slept on the couch, waited for you, the next morning I talked to Stefan and we broke up."
"Why?" I hear the massive amount of hope in his voice in the small word he says.
"Because when I had Stefan in my arms that morning and you walked away, my heart broke. I never wanted you to leave. I realzied..." I hesitate knowing what I say was going to be monumental.
"You realzied?"
"I love you Damon. I've loved you for a long time. I want you to know that I will always choose you too."
"You love me?" He says unbelieveing.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because we are us."
"That's not an answer."
"It's my answer. We are Damon and Elena. We fight and we make up. We are stubborn, we make each other crazy. But somehow it works. We work, we are good together. We balance each other out."
"I don't deserve you."
"No, you don't. You deserve more."
"There is nothing better than you. You Elena, are my salvation." He tells me before pulling me into a kiss. A kiss that said a million things. I was right, we would be epic.