Welcome To Planet Earth
By Mat Growcott
Fry stood in the huge green space ship parked next to the small Starbucks floating in space. This one just happened to be metres from the sun, the sign above read "Starbucks-now one in every orbit too". Fry laughed, they thought he was crazy for planning this trip. He remembered Leela's embarrassment when he'd said out loud at a poker game that he Phillip Fry was going to fly to the sun, and drink coffee until he was sick. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but when a robot came up to him and had asked
"would you like the supergeliminoconaberryandpie coffee or the notsosuperheliminoconaberryandpiewithalittlesugar coffee today, sir?" he'd just got confused and had to go and get some sleep. As he awoke he heard something. There was someone on the bottom floor of the ship. Fry got up and walked down the stairs and into the cargo hold. It didn't look as if anyone was there. Just as he was about to leave he was lifted up by his feet and hit between the eyes.
"oh, it you. I thought someone was comin' to get me" said the voice of bender as fry woke up. Fry was starting to get angry.
"How come you robots won't let me buy coffee? It's the only thing I want and now you've punched me and my ovaries hurt" fry shouted, tears almost running down his eyes.
"Ovaries…yes…"Bender muttered, "You want coffee? Us robots have a secret recipe which is sure to entertain any human idi…customer. $5 and as it was the great Bender who made it, $10"
"that seems fair" said fry, unaware that his robot friend was ripping him off. "why're you here anyway? I thought you was playing poker tonight"
"I was, and then the cops found out that I stole there banjo and they tried to attack me" Bender opened the door on his front "here, it's a bender homebrew made from the finest rarest beans, nescaf
"tastes oily…and shrimpy…whats in it?"
"oil and shrimp mostly" bender looked out the window "look at that mother…"
A big ship had just touched down on the star bucks car park the words "Nimbu" were bolted on in big metal letters and at the end of that someone had pained an "s" on. Suddenly the telly came on. There was Zapp Branigan "Hello, fancy seeing you in this god forsaken place. Kif, write to the editor of starbucks magazine and tell them that the coffee house they advised is nothing more than a starbucks"
Kif sighed…it had been a long day.
"Where is the lovely Leela? The only one eyed girl who I've ever loved or met."
"She had to stay home today. She's teaching some blind guy how to do cool Bruce lee karate kicks because someone at the vets keep stealing his walking stick" fry said at the telly "I don't like this channel anymore, bender turn it over" bender got up and turned the telly over. The news monster was sitting in a rocking chair
"And now, lowly humans, Is a show you WILL enjoy or I will DESTROY you…"some giggled in the back ground "…The WINSTONS"
Fry was shocked, they were remaking his favourite reality TV show, "The simpsons"
"I used to watch that show all the time, and they remaid it? The winstons? That'll never catch on, these aren't even yellow…"
Bender suddenly clicked realised what it was
"Ahhhhh crap, it ain't a remake of "the sampsons", it's a remake of the wimpstons. They were all Robophobics and it almost caused a civil war. It was fun cause there was pillaging, but all my favourite episodes of frasier got wiped out"
"I wonder what happened to the simpsons, I got frozen half way through a season…they could be dead for all I know…"
The planet express ship took off from the star bucks car park. Little did fry and Bender know that both Zapp and Kif had hidden on the ship.
"This would be the perfect way to get to leela. And the gas would be free because we wouldn't have to drive"
"actually sir…" Kif began "we get our gas free because we work for the earthian government. But now we have to pay for a Taxi back, and the "nimbus" will pick up a lot of waste and sewage on the sides because we left it in the car park"
"No don't worry about the mess kif" Branigan retorted "they use most of that so that the car park never gets messy" kif dropped his coffee.
Back at planet express, the delivery company Fry, bender and leela worked for, a lot was going on. Amy was painting her nails, Hermes was charging zoidberg for eating his paperwork and the professor was working on a new invention. Fry and bender left the spaceship and walked into the kitchen. As soon as they did Professor Farnsworth walked out of his lab and said…
"Good news everybody, I've discovered a device that lets you go through time. Sadly its only a hologram but it's almost 100% fool proof. That means Leela will have to control it. I want you to go to the year 1990 and find out for me what flavour cows are. I want to use it in our next big commercial. Which will air on the alien appreciation channel while a "friends" reunion special is aired on all the other channels, which means millions of people around the world will see it"
"ok professor, you can out on everybody else" bender said taking a puff on a cigar
"ahhh, yes, bender, you will be carrying the sniffalator, which can trap smells. Also zoidberg is in there for some reason. Happy time travelling"
Bender put the machine on his back and instantly fell through the floor.
After a lot of flashing lights and annoying sound effects the team were in 1999.
Leela looked around.
"We have a lobster thing and a robot with us. Were going to be found out almost straight away. We have to find somewhere to hide them. Here, follow me"
Leela and the gang ran down and alley and onto an old street. At least 4 of the houses were falling down. Fry stared at the sign that told him the streets name…
"Evergreen Terrace, now why does that ring a bell."
"stop being stupid fry" Leela snapped "Its where that crappy sit-com was filmed…you know, the one set in the future where a bunch of mailmen and woman travel the universe and save the world a bunch of times?"
"oh yeah" fry laughed "that was soooo funny"
"Quick friends" Zoidberg shouted "we must go into the most broken down house" they all ran to a house in the middle of the street, they opened the door and ran inside.
A voice came from inside
"Marge, barts slamming the door again"
"Homer, you're his father, you should dicipline him"
"cut, BB you gotta shout out a little louder, ya know? Your angry at homer, he never disciplines the boy, but he's spoced to, ya know?"
"sorry rick, you want me to be really mad at him?"
"yeah, as mad as you can be"
"hey look, the stunt doubles have arrived" said the one they called homer as he looked at the door
Coming in Chapter two!
Fry needs to get home back to New New york, but that may be difficult as he's become the star in the new seris from the maker of "the simpsons"
Farnsworth must work out why his hologram became a reality
What happened to Zapp and Kif??