James Potter reclined in the grass near the lake, watching clouds pass over the bright crescent moon. Hundreds of twinkling stars were suspended in the dark sky, winking merrily. James took a long drag of his cigarette and held it in, before tilting his head back and blowing it out, straight up. He turned his head and spat in the grass nearby.
It was, from an outsider's point of view, an ordinary night. Hogwarts was lit up in the background. Students could be seen on the Astronomy tower, pointing and laughing occasionally. A small fire burned outside the caretaker's hut, sparks flying upwards in the night.
But from James' view, it was the opposite of ordinary. On the outside, he calmly smoked, watching as a shooting star passed under Mars. On the inside, James was blank. His mind was nothing but the sadness and agony that came with loss. He had cried his eyes dry hours ago after skipping all his classes. His friends had reluctantly let him go wonder, knowing it was what he truly wanted.
Because that morning at four thirty, Charlus Potter had led the elite Aurors in a raid. By five o'clock, twenty six of the thirty Aurors were dead. James no longer had parents.
His mum always said not to follow in her footsteps; it was a dangerous profession.
He was alone. Sadness washed over him as he played out the possibilities in his mind's eye. What had happened? Was it torture? Or perhaps it was a quick and painless killing curse. That would be mercy. James had witnessed some of what the Death Eaters could do. His whole body shook in silent, tearless sobs.
James took a last drag on his cigarette before tossing the remainder into the Black Lake. His superior athletic abilities made the toss possible, with a little help from the non-existent wind. The snitch in his pocket gave a feeble flutter. He didn't even have the heart to take it out as he folded his arms beneath his head, facing the universe.
A twig snapped nearby. James merely closed his eyes to the world. He only hoped it was a creature from the Forbidden Forrest. Maybe he would be taken from this world, too, and get to see his parents again.
"Potter." Her voice was sharp, to the point. It was both musical and sweet, no matter how hard she tried to disguise it. James would know her voice anywhere, pick it out of thousands.
When he didn't acknowledge her, she came closer. He could smell her sweet scent and feel her presence next to his left side. "Potter?" Her voice was toned down slightly; no longer the stabbing of a sword, but the swift poke of a knife. His name was now a question on her lips, as if she was almost…uncertain.
He mentally sighed. "Evans." James kept his eyes closed, wishing she'd go away. He didn't want her to see him like this.
"We have our report for Potions due tomorrow, and you promised me you'd actually help." Naturally, James had forgotten about the whole thing. "I wasted enough time trying to find you; your bloody friends are no help at all. They sent me on a wild goose chase-"
"So you need help," he said quietly, cutting her off.
"No…it's just…I'm not going to let you take credit this time if you don't help."
"Alright," James said. "I'll let Slughorn know it was all you."
He would have thought she'd left, if not for the smell of her perfume remaining, the feeling he got anytime she was in his proximity. She could be very quiet when she wanted. The opposite of James.
"Are you okay?" She seemed reluctant to ask.
"Peachy." She didn't leave. He wanted to be alone.
He dragged another cigarette from his pocket and lit it with his wand, his eyes still closed. One side of a coin said Lily would lecture him about it; the other said she'd simply leave. Lily Evans detested smoking.
"Potter, you know that could kill you," she said reproachfully.
"I'd say it better kill me, if I didn't know that Healers at St. Mungo's have a simple cure for black lung." Even to himself, his voice sounded strange. Like he wasn't really here.
"Is that so," she said.
He finally opened his eyes. "It is. Is there anything else you need?" James was sure Lily could see the redness of his eyes; perhaps she'd blame it on the smoke.
His mood lightened a very small fraction when she sat down next to him; her short skirt flew about and he could see her knickers very clearly from his spot in the grass for a short moment. "Talk."
He simply turned away and took another drag of smoke, letting it fill his lungs to full capacity.
She emitted an audible sigh. "Fine."
He glanced over to see her laying next to him. "Leave," James requested.
"No."
"Leave or I'll kiss you."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
"Tell me what the fuck's the matter."
James rolled over, quickly scooting so he was next to Lily. In one swift motion, he adjusted himself until he was hovering over her. His chest gently brushed hers as James touched Lily's lips with his own.
It was the first time she didn't immediately push him away. She slowly started moving her lips, and, to his embarrassment, blood was already starting to rush downward. She didn't leave.
He might actually have time to enjoy himself. Just as his tongue was about to gain entry to her mouth, she turned her head. He flung his cigarette out of his hand as his lips went to her jaw, making his way down to her neck. "I'll let you snog me if you tell me what's wrong," she whispered. She was breathing harder than normal.
His whole body froze temporarily in shock, (did she really just offer that?) and then relaxed again. "Nothing's wrong," he murmured. She felt his chest rumbling against her own with every word. "You're just making thing up."
This had to be a joke. James had never been this close to Lily, for this long. He'd been waiting for this moment for years. He wished Padfoot could be witness.
He slid a hand across her waist and she caught her breath. "I know something's wrong. It's unsettling," Lily said.
So she knew him better than he thought.
After a pause… "I'll go on a date…a public date, if you tell me what's wrong."
That was damn tempting. After years of trying to get Evans on a date, she had to, of course, choose this ultimatum. "I'm fine," he said. He stopped his efforts and removed his hand from her waist, where he had successfully untucked her blouse. He took hold of her chin and turned her face to look her in the eyes. "I'm fine, Evans," James repeated as he stared in her eyes.
Those almond-shaped emeralds narrowed. "In that case…" she shoved against his body and he rolled off her. He expected her rejection, of course, but much earlier. "I'll just go do our potions project, shall I?"
"G'night, Evans." And she left.
Four owl hoots later, she was back. He smelled her glorious perfume once more. James wasn't overly surprised. It wasn't Lily's drive that made her an excellent student, nor natural brains…it was pure curiosity. They say curiosity killed the cat…
"Okay. James Potter, I will let you shag me if you tell me what's the matter. And it better not be something stupid like your team loosing a silly Quidditch match."
That got his attention. James' head wasn't quite thinking as he thoughtlessly mumbled his problem to her. He watched her expression change, horrified and surprised, sympathetic and caring, all rolled into her adorable face.
She cuddled up next to him, laying her head on his chest. She whispered to him, words of comfort. James was once again overwhelmed by sadness; by admitting it to someone, it was much more real. His body shook, and Lily could feel it tremble.
After a while there wasn't much more to say; he'd explained how it happened. She cried softly. They hugged, which turned into a kiss. That kiss turned into a snog, and Lily Evans found herself trapped between grass and James. She let his tongue roam her mouth; his legs fell between hers. "I'm so sorry," Lily whispered between gasps for air.
He paid her no attention. He was allowing himself to be absorbed in the girl of his fantasies. James tugged at the buttons of her shirt. She followed suit with his own; James Potter was damn sexy.
Lily Evans let James Potter take her virginity. There in the grass by the lake, she allowed the man she'd always detested do what he pleased. And she enjoyed herself so much, it scared her.
He made sure it was good for her, too, so he had taken his time. This was his one and only shot at making Lily Evans his own, and Merlin be damned, he'd do it right.
"James?" she whispered after, as she lay there naked.
"Hmm?" he was still trying to calm his breathing.
"You better make this a habit; I'm going to want it again."
The first real smile of that day flashed across his face for an instant. "We'll see." He caught her hand as she reached out to smack him.
James murmured a spell and a ring flew from where ever his pants had ended up. He placed it on her hand. "You know as well as I do, you're mine. So just wear it like a big girl and don't complain." Then, a little quieter, "It was my mum's."
Lily's whole body shook; she didn't even know what emotion that was. But she rolled her naked body onto James' once again and buried her face in his neck. "Whatever, Potter," she mumbled. Lily peaked at her left hand again, watching as the diamond flashed from the moonlight above.
From one family to the next, James thought. He wrapped his arms around her and took in a deep breath, the lovely scent that was Lily.
A/N: A different take on the Jily romance, I know. Let me know what you think.