Hey everybody!! Thunder-Phoenix here!! Sorry it took so long to write this!! Stupid homework!! O well I have this one to put up and another that should be done in a few days- two weeks tops not kidding!! But if it does go longer than that I'm sorry and u have permission to hit me… okay not actually but yea. So this was going to be a one shot but then it went too long so I put it into 2 chapters!! Well once again it is K+ because of minor language (damn and stuff) but other than that it is pure Yukito and Toya cuteness!!
Well enjoy
Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptors Sakura or any of the characters -tear tear-
"Blah"- talking
'Blah'- thoughts
Blah- flashback/past stuff
Happy White Day
Chapter 1: Incident
Toya was up again for what felt like the billionth night in a row; except this time was different. Usually he'd be able to erase all images of the one who distracted him so much just long enough to actually fall asleep. This time, however, there was no erasing what had happened and what he had done from his memory.
His heart thudded painfully in his chest once again as an image of all the past events appeared behind his closed eyelids. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to rid himself of his memories by pushing them somewhere else.
His efforts were in vain as his mind replayed the scene in his head again like a movie.
Flashback:
"Toya! Over here!" Toya heard the familiar honey-sweet voice call his attention to the large Sakura tree in the corner of the field.
He turned towards the voice and waved to the silver-haired boy sitting under it to show that he had heard him. He jogged over and sat beside his best friend under the blossoming tree so he was sideways to the boy who was facing him directly.
"Hey, Yuki" Toya said.
"Hey! What did you think of that math test?" Yukito asked between bits from his enormous bento box.
Toya shrugged, "cinch…were you able to stay awake for it?" Toya asked his friend, trying not to sound too overly concerned.
Yukito smiled and gave the thumbs up sign, "Actually I was! Maybe I'm getting better! I managed to stay awake long enough to finish the entire thing!"
Toya was not sure about the whole "getting better" thing because he knew that what caused Yukito's tiredness was still in effect and would not end until a source of power could be found, namely himself.
'I have to tell him that I know about his "other self" and it doesn't look like that stupid girl is around' Toya quickly glanced around for the girl in question, 'it looks like this is my chance…'
"Yuki…" Toya started to try to grab the silver-haired boy's attention from him lunch.
"Yes?"
"I…know that you're not-"
"TOOOOYYYYAAAA!!!" a painfully familiar voice called out from above.
Toya closed his eyes in frustration before opening them again and looking up into the tree to find the red-headed girl leaping down from one of the higher branches.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" he asked her threateningly.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" she said in a sing-song voice, "hey, Tsukishiro-kun!" she greeted Yukito.
"Hello, Akizuki-san" Yukito said politely.
"Will you leave us alone?! I need to talk to Yuki!" Toya said.
"Awwww! Can't I join you guys?" she begged.
"Sur-"
"NO!" Toya interrupted Yukito, "now, leave us, unless you have some sort of alternative motive…" Toya gave her a suspicious look. He knew that, for whatever reason, she had been purposely trying to stop him from telling Yukito about the younger boy's "other self"; he also knew that she was trying to do it secretly and did not wish to have her cover blown.
"Of course not! Can't a girl just hang out with a couple of guys without getting her head bitten off?" she gave him a fake hurt look.
"Not today! Now leave!" To emphasize his point, he jabbed his index finger, towards the school.
Akizuki pouted and started to walk off sulkily. She turned around to try to persuade him once more but she received such a poisonous look that she quickly turned around and ran to the school.
Toya knew the girl would be watching and listening from inside the school so he'd have to tell Yukito quickly.
'Toya…" he heard the boy beside him say in a very weak voice.
Toya quickly turned his head and saw that Yukito had the familiar sleepy look on his face.
"Yuki! Are you alright?" Toya reached out a hand to hold his friend steady but before he could, Yukito fainted.
As if in slow motion, Yukito fell forward so that his head landed-
-directly on Toya's lap, sending his heart off like a rocket. The only thing he was able to do was sit there, hand still half raised, as a bright red color snaked its way up his cheeks.
Finally he was able to swallow hard before looking down at Yukito.
The boy's head had landed so his cheek rested sideways on Toya's leg. He was lying on his side with his right hand up near his chin and his other hand resting on the ground beside him. His face was turned towards the older boy, relaxed and tired.
"Y-Yuki…?" Toya asked softly, nervousness filling his voice.
Yukito just mumbled incoherently in his sleep and Toya managed to understand a portion of it, "I would like some more pork buns, please…"
Despite the circumstances, Toya found that an amused smile had crept up onto his face and a little laugh escaped his throat. He continued to smile down at the younger boy's closed eyes. Then, as though he did not have any control over it, his hand began to move to Yukito's sleeping face and briefly but gently ran it through his silver hair.
The electricity that seemed to shoot through Toya at the touch caused him to quickly pull back his hand. His heart pounded and his cheeks burned red, but his heart begged for one more touch. It forced his hand to move to Yukito's sleeping face once more. This time, however, his hand came to rest on Yukito's cheek and stayed there as slowly his thumb rubbed the space between the younger boy's lips and cheek bone; his own eyes closing contently as he enjoyed the feeling.
"Mmmm… To…ya…" Yukito whispered. Toya's eyes shot open and he pulled his hand back again as though it was on fire. Toya did indeed feel like he was on fire, his cheeks burning hotter than the sun and his heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst from his chest.
Looking quickly at Yukito, Toya relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. The younger boy was still asleep and was just talking in his dream.
Toya's heart did a back flip, 'is Yuki dreaming about me?'
He watched as Yukito shifted in his sleep so he was lying on his back, his hand still up near his head.
Toya swallowed hard as he stared at Yukito's sweet face, 'oh god he's so cute…'
The cherry blossoms fell around them and a few swirled around Yukito's form. Toya could not help but think about how adorable his Yuki looked at that moment. He really wished Yukito would feel the same for him as Toya felt about the silver-haired boy. His heart leapt at the thought of having his love returned; but as quickly as the thoughts came, they disappeared. Only to be replaced by images of what would happen if Yukito actually did not feel the same.
A Sakura petal landed on Yukito's pale cheek and all thoughts vanished from his mind as Toya lifted his hand to brush the pink petal away. All that mattered at that moment was that he was with Yukito.
Toya brushed a stray hair from Yukito's face then rested his hand on the boy's cheek again. He let his fingers slowly trace his jaw and drift down to his chin.
Sighing, Toya moved his fingers up to Yukito's lips, feeling their softness under his touch. He slowly followed their lines until he heard a soft moan escape them.
The younger boy shifted a little, then slowly opened his sleepy, glass-framed eyes and looked up at Toya.
Toya moved his hand, his mind still fogged by Yukito's cuteness, to the boy's cheek so he could look into his eyes but still touch him.
"Morning, Sleepyhead" Toya teased softly.
Yukito smiled sleepily and leaned into Toya's touch, closing his eyes.
After a while, he reopened them and stared into Toya's dark eyes. He had an amazed look on his face and Toya was beginning to feel self-conscious. When he thought he could not take any more, he opened his mouth to ask Yukito what he was doing. But before he could speak, his friend said in almost a whisper, "you're so handsome…"
Toya almost jumped, 'did Yuki just say what I think he just said?!' Toya's heart pounded and his cheeks reddened as his wide, dark eyes stared into Yukito's sleepy ones. Yukito reached up and slowly traced Toya's jaw with his fingers.
He smiled, "Toya…I-"
DING DING DING DING
The bell signalling the end of lunch went off. Students filed into the school, completely oblivious to the situation under the Sakura tree in their mad rush to get to class.
If they had been paying attention, they would have seen that the bell forced Yukito out of his half-asleep state and realize what he had just done.
His grey eyes lost their previous amazed look and were replaced by a stare of shock and embarrassment. He pulled his hands away from Toya's cheek and leapt up so fast he nearly fell on Toya again. Luckily, the older boy jumped up and caught him before that happened, the dark haired boy asked worriedly, "Yuki, are you alright?"
The younger boy drew a deep breath and answered with a smile, "yeah", he once again, however, realized their current position and saw that his arms were around Toya's neck and the older boy had caught him around the waist. Yukito shot backwards away from Toya, quickly snatching up his bento box and, while avoiding any contact with Toya, ran to the school doors, calling a hurried "goodbye!" over his shoulder as he went.
Toya stood there in stunned silence, his mind still trying to grasp what had just happened. He looked down at his hand, the one that had stroked Yukito's cheek, and just stared at it.
'What was Yuki going to say?' he could not help but have a picture of the younger boy as he ran flash in front of his eyes. Was Yukito really blushing when he headed for the doors or was that just Toya's imagination?
End of Flashback
Toya hid his head under his pillow, hoping it would be able to separate his thoughts from his mind.
What was Yukito going to say? Toya's heart always pounded when ever he thought of the one possibility he fully wish it was:
"Toya… I love you"
Toya moaned as his heart gave a painful leap.
He had not seen Yukito for the rest of the school day because they were only in 1 class together and they did not have it at all that day. It was impossible for Toya to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon, so when the end of school approached he had already made up his mind to find the silver-haired boy the second he was let out of class.
Flashback:
Toya's eyes flicked briefly at the clock in the corner of the history classroom. They had been doing this frequently for the entire lecture, 'why won't the stupid clock hurry up?' he glanced again only to be disappointed by the 2 seconds it had gone further.
He tried his absolute hardest to concentrate but it was exceedingly difficult. Finally 3 o'clock came along and the bell rang. The class stood up bowed in unison and thanked their sensei. The second she dismissed them, Toya rocketed out of the classroom. He was sure that, considering how Yukito had acted at lunch, the younger boy would try to avoid Toya. He was not going to allow Yukito to get away.
He turned a corner and saw the familiar sliver-hair going through the crowd at an exceptional speed. Toya ran down the hall just as Yukito went out the front doors. He pushed through a group of first years in his rush and nearly crushed one of them. He managed, however, to catch her and start up his chase anew.
He dashed outside and saw Yukito climb onto his bike. Toya knew that the boy must have seen him, but if he had he showed no signs of it and just pedaled away, just as Toya thought he might.
'He's definitely hiding something; he usually waits for me first..." Toya ran to his bike and in record speed unhooked the chain and climbed on, speeding off in pursuit of Yukito.
Toya managed to catch up to his friend, even though Yukito was gunning it; his tiredness obviously had a major effect on him.
"Yuki!" he called "hey, wait up!"
Yukito either did not hear him or just ignored him for he kept going.
Toya increased his speed and when he was less than 10 meters away he called out again, "Yuki! Why are you going so fast? Slow down!"
Without turning around, Yukito answered, "I'm late for work I have to hurry"
"But you work at all the same times and places I work and I don't have anything until tomorrow night!"
"um…I …uh… I have to make dinner and my grandparents need my help"
"But they are away in Germany, aren't they?"
"uh…I …uh"
"Please Yuki! Just let me talk to you for a little bit!"
Yukito did not say or do anything for a while then he slowly put on his brakes and stopped. Toya stopped right beside him, they were both out of breath and had to wait before they could talk.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Toya asked in a hurt voice.
Yukito still refused to look him in the eye and just shrugged at this question.
Toya gripped his friend's shoulders suddenly but not roughly and forced Yukito to look at him. He saw anxiety, fear and sadness reflected in his beautiful light amber eyes, "Yuki?… please you are hiding something from me…please tell me what it is…I'm your best friend, aren't I?"
Yukito nodded quietly and looked down briefly before staring into Toya's eyes again. He gave the older boy a small smile before a light pink came to his cheeks and he opened his mouth to speak.
Suddenly his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Toya acted fast and caught him, "Yuki! What's wrong? Are you alright?"
"I-I feel really tired…" he said in a low whisper.
Determination set inside Toya and he quickly looked around before sitting Yukito on the back of his bike. He was going to tell his friend exactly what was wrong with him and he wanted to make sure that a certain girl would not follow them. He locked up Yukito's bike on a nearby tree before returning to his bike and sitting in front of the younger boy. Wrapping the sleeping boy's arms around his waist, he held him in place while they biked to the Kinomoto house. Toya managed to ignore the red that crept onto his face and the way his heart pounded by concentrating on getting Yukito to safety.
Once they arrived at the two story house, Toya got off his bike and carried Yukito inside on his back.
His little sister, Sakura, called out, "welcome home!" from the kitchen before coming out and witnessing the scene before her.
"Yukito-san! Nii-san what happened?!" Sakura was beginning to worry.
"It's alright, he just fainted on the way home, I'm going to take him upstairs so he can rest" Toya glanced at Sakura's anxious face and, in an attempt to preoccupy her, barked out, "go make some dinner, Yuki will probably be hungry when he wakes up."
Sakura instantly jumped to her assigned task leaving Toya to carry Yukito up the stairs.
He laid the silver-haired boy on his bed in his room and pulled up his desk chair to the edge to wait for him to wake up.
A few minutes later Yukito moaned slightly and shifted before opening his eyes.
"mmmm… T-Toya?… Where am I?" he asked in a small voice.
"Your at my house, how are you feeling?"
"A little tired but alright…"
Toya was silent for a moment before he took a deep breath and spoke, "Yuki, I know that you-"
KNOCK KNOCK
Toya growled silently before he noisily stood up, walked across the room, opened the door and glowered at the little brunette in the hallway.
"What do you want kaijuu?" Toya asked in a menacing voice.
I'm not a kaijuu!" Sakura glared at him, "I have dinner ready" she showed Toya the tray of food she had in her hands.
Toya started to regret his outburst and apologized, "Sorry Sakura, thank you. Could you let me talk to Yuki for a little bit alone?"
"Sure! Bye Yukito-san!" Yukito answered her gesture with a small weak wave of his own.
"Thanks" after he said goodnight to his sister, Toya closed the door and turned to Yukito again, "I really need to tell you something so listen up, Yuki I know that you are-"
"TOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!" called a slightly muffled female voice.
Toya turned to the voice and looked out his window, when he saw the source of the voice he nearly fell over. There was Akizuki sitting on a branch of a maple tree that hung just below his window.
His temper rising greatly, he walked to the window and opened it, asking her in a forcibly calm voice, "What are you doing here?"
"Do you want to study together today?"
"NO!" Toya finally lost all self-control, "leave Yuki and me alone!"
"Oh, please, Tooyyaa?" she begged in an annoyingly cheerful voice.
Toya glared at her before yelling, "NO!" closing the window and shutting the curtains, he turned back to Yukito with fierce determination.
The silver-haired boy had an amused look on his face that instantly changed to surprise and almost nervousness when he saw the look in Toya's eyes, "what is it?"
Toya moved to the side of the bed, he looked into Yukito's eyes and laid his hand on the younger boy's cheek, "Yuki, I know that you are not human, so you don't have to hide it anymore" he told his friend gently, smiling reassuringly.
Suddenly a pair of wings appeared from Yukito's back; he closed his eyes and began to glow as the wings encircled him. Toya watched as a taller man emerged from where Yukito was, wings still on his back.
End of flashback
Toya was finally able to meet Yue and he gave his powers to the moon guardian to save Yukito. After Yue returned to his temporary form, Toya told Yukito everything, with the guardian's help.
Yukito seemed so shocked and even a little scared. Toya wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be alright, but he was afraid to; he just let Yukito go back home alone. He knew that since he was finally able to tell Yukito about Yue, he could no longer delay in telling the younger boy about his feelings towards him.
Every gesture seemed to now have so much more meaning, this stopped Toya from doing anything. He tried his hardest to make Yukito feel even a little better and he even managed to make the younger boy smile, but Toya knew it was not enough.
He shifted around, was telling Yukito about his feelings really a good idea? Would it renew his best friend's happiness or just cause him to feel even more scared and confused? Toya did not want the silver-haired boy to feel like that because of him.
He sighed heavily and turned onto his side, staring out his window and the crescent moon, "and tomorrow's White Day…" he whispered to himself.
How would he be able to repay Yukito for the chocolates on Valentine's Day if he could not even think straight when he was around the younger boy?
Giving all his powers to the Yue should have meant that he was too tired to even think, but it seemed that his mind was determined to not allow him to get any rest at all.
"Damn it!" he growled quietly. Throwing back the blankets, he got out of bed and, giving up entirely on the idea of sleep, started to get dressed. It was 1 o'clock in the morning but he decided that a walk might clear his head enough for him to be able to rest, even if it was for a little bit.
He slowly opened his bedroom door, cursing the echoing creak that the hinges made as he did so. He crept to Sakura's room and put his ear to the door. He could not hear anything, not even the usual snoring of the stuffed toy-like guardian she called Kero. 'She must be out again doing her "cardcaptoring" or whatever it is that she does'. He knew that his dad was most likely sleeping because of the hard day he had today, so Toya decided it was safe to sneak out. He tiptoed down the stairs to the front door.
Removing his slippers, he slipped on his running shoes and grabbed a light jacket. Even though it was mid-March, it was still too cold to go without a coat of some kind.
He opened the door, happy that this one did not squeak as he did so, and quickly looked behind him before slipping out of the house.
After about a half-hour later, Toya had driven himself even crazier. The further he walked, the more he thought about what he should do tomorrow, and the more he became confused. His head told him not to say anything about his feelings to Yukito, but his heart told him to confess his guts out tomorrow.
He stopped suddenly and sighed heavily, still staring at the ground as he had been doing for the entire walk.
Closing his eyes, he silently whispered, "I'm not getting anywhere…"
Opening his eyes again, he continued to stare at the ground for a few minutes before completely giving up and deciding to head home.
He looked up and took in his surroundings so he would be able to find his way back home. He saw that he was on the left side of the road on a paved sidewalk; as he looked over to his right and studied it, he was struck with the sudden feeling that the place he was at was very familiar.
Suddenly he felt both his breathing and his heart stop completely. He knew why he recognized this part of town so much. Even though he knew the entire city down to every last pebble, this place was especially well known to him for one reason.
Swallowing hard and urging his heart and lungs to start up again, he slowly turned his head to the left, his eyes coming to rest on the one thing he did not need to see at this particular moment.
Tsukishiro shrine- Yukito's house.
Toya groaned aloud and nearly slumped to the ground. He managed to remain standing and just cradled his head in his hands.
'Damn it! Stupid legs! Why the hell did you have to lead me here? Of all places!' Toya mentally slapped himself.
He lifted his head quickly, 'I need to get out of here!' he whipped around and was about to start running, but something caught his eye and made him stop. Slowly turning back to look at the house, he found what had caught his attention: one of the lights in the house was on.
"Didn't Yuki say his parents grandparents were away?" Toya thought aloud, stepping closer to the house, 'then why would a light be-?'
As if on cue to answer the silent question, a shadow passed by the window; it was Yukito.
Through his foggy mind, Toya finally realized he was looking into the window of Yukito's room.
'Oh no, I can't let him see me!' Toya looked around for a place to hide and decided that a tall bush just outside the gate to the shrine would be a good place. He dived for it and looked up through the branches at the house.
Then he realized that there was no reason to hide 1) because they were best friends and should not be hiding from each other and 2) because Yukito was not even paying attention. He was dancing! The silver-haired boy had his head phones on while holding his MP3 player in his right hand and was dancing around his room to the music only he could hear and, every once in a while, mouthing along with the words.
Toya slowly stood up from his crouching position behind the bushes, never taking his eyes off the beauty in the window. He felt like every breath he had obtained after figuring out where he was had now left him once again. Yukito was completely stunning, his eyes were closed and a small smile graced his lips. Toya noticed the younger boy was still in his day clothes. From the numerous sleepovers they have had together, Toya knew for a fact that Yukito wore pyjamas. 'Was he so worried about what he found out today that he has not even been able to sleep?' Toya could not even blink let alone take his eyes off his best friend, and the fact that Yukito's shirt was unbuttoned to reveal his chest was not helping the situation at all.
Through all of this, however, he managed to let one thought one spoken aloud, "why is he dancing…?"
"I think he might be trying to avoid his thoughts, from what I've heard he's been through a lot in just a single day" a gentle female voice a little ways beside him said.
He turned his head in the direction of the sound and saw girl about his sister's age with long black hair tied back in a braid and violet eyes. She smiled at him as Toya almost jumped out of his skin.
"Wh-what are you d-doing here?!" he tried desperately to keep his voice down.
"I was just heading home"
"So Sakura was out again" he said as more of a statement than a question.
"Yes… I guess you know already?"
"I've known for a while now"
"Oh… well Sakura will be surprised to hear that"
"Did she know about Yukito's condition?"
"No, Kero-chan told her only a few hours ago… she is pretty worried about him… and about you"
Toya stared at the girl, Yue told him the side effects of giving up all his powers and he was definitely feeling them, ever since he woke up after the event. He remembered that Yukito was by his side when he awoke, his eyes automatically drifted back up to the dancing boy in the window. He let out a heavy sigh.
To distract himself he asked, "Your name is Diadouji-san, right?"
She nodded and smiled, then looked up at Yukito before saying softly, "You really love him, don't you?"
Toya went bright red and began stuttering, "N-No! I-I… Th-that is to say I-I… y-yeah… I do".
Tomoyo smiled before turning her head and look straight at Toya, "well, the first step is admitting it to yourself, right?"
"But I could never tell him"
"Why not?" She said patiently.
"Because… it would ruin our friendship…"
"How?"
"He might not feel the same for me; if he found out that his best friend was completely in love with him, it would be really awkward! He might even refuse to continue being my friend or even being associated with me at all! ... I-I just would not be able to handle that…" he looked away from Tomoyo as his eyes filled with a great sadness.
"Kinomoto-san…" Tomoyo walked up to him, "what if he feels the same for you as you do for him, then what do you think would happen?"
Images of himself and Yukito together flashed through his mind; at the park, at a restaurant, walking together. Then a picture of one of the things he longed for the most leapt into his mental vision. Toya holding Yukito close under the cherry blossom tree, their tree, his lips connecting with his love's gently, sweetly.
He forced these images from his mind, "No, he could never feel that way about me, it's impossible"
"Why not?"
"Just… just because I said so, alright?!" he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"But what evidence can you give that would imply that once you told him how you feel he would ignore you for the rest of your life?"
"He…he…"
"He's a kind person, Kinomoto-san, he would never hurt you. He's very much like Sakura-chan and she would never harm anyone, would she?" she was answered with a shake of Toya's head "If you told him you love him he would accept your feelings and give you the answer that fit him the most"
Toya looked down at the hard concrete ground before glancing up at the bright window. Yukito had suddenly stopped dancing and was staring sadly at the reflection in the mirror just off to the left of the window. The younger boy's eyes closed slowly and Toya could see him sigh softly. When the amber eyes finally opened again, they made Toya's heart ache so much that he longed to run to the boy, hold him tightly and whispered words of encouragement into his ear; but he stopped himself. The eyes were filled with such hopelessness and he looked so lost and confused to Toya. Yukito pulled off his head phones and, with his eyes closed as a result of severe internal pain, threw them onto the pillow of his bed, then sat down on it himself. He buried his face in his hand and it looked as though he had begun to cry, his shoulders heaving slightly every once in a while.
Tomoyo and Toya continued watching him for a few more minutes until Yukito got up and crossed the room to turn off the light, his eyes a little bit red and puffy, plunging the room into a cold darkness.
Toya continued watching the completely dark window, hoping, wishing that he could do something to help his friend. Finally, after a little while he looked down again at the bushes in front of him and sighed, "Alright… I'll tell him how I feel…"
Tomoyo smiled, "you'll be fine, I know you will be."
"But how do I go about confessing?"
Tomoyo thought for a moment then her face lit up and she quickly answered, "Tomorrow, as a white day present! Oh, that will be so romantic!"
Toya blushed, "But, how…" suddenly a plan presented itself within his head, "Yes, I know exactly what I will do! Thank you so much, Diadouji-san! I owe you!"
She smiled, "don't even mention it, I just can stand by while two people who are destined for each other, aren't together!" she winked at him.
Toya went even redder and nodded. He started back home at a run, waving a goodbye behind him at Tomoyo, formulating a plan in his mind.
Tomorrow is going to be very interesting…
Yay finally done chapter 1!!! Whoot!! Well I did have everything written out but I just needed to find time to type it up and now I am done!! Plz review this and tell me what you think! I am a pretty self-conscious writer and I need reviews to know if I should continue this and other stories or just quit while I'm ahead! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time!
Thunder-Phoenix