Title: TOW The Altered Perspective
Setting: Sometime after TOW Rachel's Crush
Ramblings and stuff: Some people wanted me to continue the AU I started with TOW Mark Keeps His Mouth Shut, others said I shouldn't. I listened to one the two groups
It's a Mondler story, but I'm sad to say it's not as good as I wanted it to be. First, the story doesn't go in the direction I wanted it, second, it took me way longer to write this slightly longer fic, and thirdly it, well, it seems a bit forced to me. But maybe I'm just too critical of my own story.
For this story I used only two toys. Since these are my favorite toys, you know I didn't damage them. A small warning: there's some suggestive stuff near the end.
Disclaimer: not mine, never will be mine and I certainly don't make any money with this. Some ideas where borrowed from canon, as were a few lines. The writers of the those episodes deserve credit for those parts.
What an idiot! How could anyone mistake her for being Ross' mother? Chandler walked toward where Monica had gone to sit down. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her. "He's just an idiot," he repeated his earlier thoughts out loud to Monica. He watched her throw back her drink in a couple of large swallows.
"Thanks, I guess."
Chandler smiled a bit, and then turned away from her, suddenly very uncomfortable with the situation. He knew Monica was still feeling very depressed about two failed relationships in less than a year. Although she seemed to have gotten over Pete pretty quickly, so maybe she wasn't so sorry about ending it with him. But breaking up with 'the big tree,' as he preferred to refer to Richard, yeah, that had hurt her a lot. And Chandler had been very happy to see that relationship end.
Yes, he once had a crush on her, when he first saw her after she lost the couple of extra pounds she'd been carrying only a year before. But that had been just a crush, or so he thought back then. When he moved in to the apartment across from her and saw her again for the first time in way too many years, that's when his feelings for her turned into something else. Although he'd done his best to convince himself it was only the love for a friend.
But when he realized he became jealous every time Monica had a boyfriend, he knew he felt more for her, much more. He also knew she wasn't interested in him in any other way than just being friends. Chandler was jolted back to the here and now when he felt Monica grab another glass from a tray when one of the waiters walked by. He wondered if he should stop her from drinking so much. When he finally decided he should and turned back to her, she already held an empty glass in her hand.
"You know," Monica eventually spoke after minutes of sitting silently next to each other, another drink in her hand. "I'm really happy for my brother and best friend, but why can't I have something like that?"
Chandler let out an unbelieving snort. "Oh come one! You can have all of that with any guy here! You're the most beautiful woman in the room!" As soon as the words left his mouth he nervously turned away from her again. Why the hell did he even say that? Trying comfort a friend is one thing, but this was almost like make a pass at her! After a minute of silence she finally grabbed his attention by saying his name. When he turned he saw she had put her drink on the table behind her.
"Chandler," Monica repeated. "Take me home, please?"
"Mon, you don't need to go home and be alone."
She just shrugged slightly. "I'm not enjoying myself here. Besides, if you stay, I won't be alone."
He looked into her eyes, the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen, but right now also the saddest. Truth be told, he wasn't exactly having the time of his life either. His funny toast had gone terribly wrong. Why hadn't he tried it out during the rehearsal? Then again, the same people would have seen him fumble through the entire thing anyway. He again looked around the room, noticing how Rachel kept touching Ross while they spoke to someone he didn't know. He doubted Monica or he would be missed.
"Please," Monica implored at the long silence.
"Okay," he finally decided. "I'll go get our coats."
Monica smiled a little nervously as she watched Chandler walk towards the wardrobe. She'd been feeling very depressed but when Chandler said he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the room she just wanted to kiss him. When that thought popped in her head, another followed. Why not go all the way? Chandler was a nice guy. He'd understand why she'd need this.
Nonetheless, now that he agreed, she started to feel somewhat nervous. It could ruin their friendship, forever. Monica was amazed she could even think about this in her drunken state. Wait a minute. That was it! If things went wrong, she'd just claim to have been too drunk to know what she was doing. Besides, Chandler had been drinking, too, so he was probably not that clear of mind at the moment, either.
When he walked back toward her she noticed how handsome he actually was. Well, she'd been attracted to him before, when she was still fat. And then a year later, after losing all that weight, she had just wanted to get back to him for calling her fat, dismissing any feeling she might have had for him. Actually, she'd been doing that ever since that moment, she realized suddenly.
"Mon, you okay?"
Startled Monica looked up at him. She'd been so absorbed in her thoughts she hadn't actually seen Chandler arrive at her spot. She cleared her throat. "Yeah, I guess the liquor made me a bit drowsy." The truth was she wasn't drowsy at all, quite the opposite, in fact. She was extremely excited and wide awake. She got up and allowed Chandler to help her in her coat.
It was a beautiful night and Monica had requested they'd walk back to her apartment. It was only fifteen minutes and Chandler was in no rush, with her arm linked in his. The cool, early evening air cleared his mind and it finally occurred to him Monica might have had something completely different in mind than just hanging out at her apartment when she suggested he could stay with her.
Thinking back, he realized she'd been throwing hints the moment they stepped outside. While the prospect certainly appealed to him, especially with her, he didn't particularly like the idea of half an hour of just meaningless sex, not with Monica. Again, he began to feel uncomfortable and nervously glanced at Monica, who looked up at him at the same moment and smiled.
He gave a small smile back before looking ahead of him and wondering how he should handle this. Why couldn't she just feel for him what he felt for her? What did those other guys have that he didn't? A frown formed when he couldn't immediately think of anything, except that he hadn't been in a long term relationship. Maybe something was wrong with him and Monica knew?
They were coming up to the apartment building now and he feared what might happen when Monica would indeed ask him what he thought she was going to. How could he let her down without hurting her even more than she was now? Of course, he could be reading the situation wrong entirely. Maybe he just wanted it so much that he managed to read the signals all wrong, if there even were signals being sent.
They entered the building and walked up the stairs and Chandler could swear his heart was beating loudly enough for Monica to hear. As they approached her door he cleared his throat. "So..." She looked at him with that beautiful smile as she repeated him, and he knew he was getting weaker by the second. "So," he said again, "will you be alright now?"
Monica was unlocking her door but turned around when she heard his voice. "So," she repeated him, not knowing what else to say.
He repeated that word again before continuing with "will you be alright now?"
She was sure he saw the disappointment on her face when she realized he had no intention of keeping her company. "You don't wanna come in." She had intended it to be a question, but it came out as a statement.
"Well, I suppose I could stay a while."
"Great!" She turned back to open the door and enter her apartment, knowing Chandler would follow. As she put away her coat, she noticed she wasn't exactly steady on her feet. Obviously, Chandler noticed it too.
"Hey, should I go down to the coffee house and get us some coffee?"
Monica bit her lip, not sure what to do. The coffee would certainly counteract the results from a little too much alcohol. On the other hand, the coffee would counteract the results from too much alcohol; if she got sober, she might not want to go through with it. Then again, she also started to feel a bit drowsy, and that wouldn't do her any good either. "Okay!"
A huge smile appeared on his face. "Great, I'll be back before you know it."
She'd never seen him move so quickly out of her apartment. Monica let out a sigh. Chandler didn't want to be with her, that much was obvious. He probably had only said she was the most beautiful woman in the room to lift her spirits. That was the only thing that made sense. Unless he felt he would be taking advantage of her if he'd gone through. In that case, the coffee would be a good thing. The night was still young, a couple of coffees would get her sober and if she showed him she still wanted him, he might do this. Alright, she had a plan!
Chandler began to feel more comfortable by the minute. Monica was beginning to sober up, and they were just watching some TV on her couch. Yes, she was leaning in to him, but that didn't mean anything; they'd done that tons of times. She hadn't been dropping any more hints of having sex, so Chandler figured he'd let his imagination get away from him, or she was now sober enough to realize she didn't want this.
He was glad, though, that Joey had been occupied at the reception, otherwise Monica might have asked him. He knew Joe well enough to know he would have said yes, and it would've killed him to know she'd chosen Joey over him.
He relaxed further and put his arm over her shoulder and looked at her as she turned her head toward him. He smiled back when she smiled at him. "Feeling better?" Monica just nodded and turned toward the set again, leaning further into him. Yep, things were going great, Chandler thought to himself. Everything was back to normal with nothing to regret the next morning for either of them.
He turned to the set trying to determine what they were watching. He had been so preoccupied he had not watched the TV at all, and now that he finally felt relaxed he wanted to enjoy watching with one of his best friends. Well, whatever it was, the credits were now rolling, but that only meant he could enjoy whatever came on next.
"Chandler, would you mind getting me another coffee?"
He looked at Monica and smiled. "No, sure, I'll go." He got up and grabbed his coat but just before he was ready to run down to the coffee house, Monica called his attention.
"Hey, have I said thank you yet? You know, for tonight?"
"You don't have to thank me. I enjoy being with you." Regardless of his words, she came to hug him anyway.
"Well, I'm thankful anyway."
He hugged her back, enjoying the feel of her pressed close to him. Immediately he banished the pleasant thoughts from his mind, which were much more than just friendly. They let go of each other at the same time. "Okay, I'll go get us some coffee."
Once outside the apartment he started thinking back to Monica pressed against him. She just fit perfectly with him. Before he got out of the building, he realized that thinking about that hug was not a wise idea for one to go out in public and once again had to banish his pleasant thoughts of Monica hugs.
Coffee, he just needed to get some coffee for the both of them and then just enjoy the remainder of the evening watching some TV with a friend. He could do that. He kept telling himself that over and over on his way to the coffee house and back. He said it even out loud just before he reentered her apartment. But as he opened her door, he realized she wasn't going to make it easy on him, and he began to seriously doubt if he could be just her friend.
Monica moved to her bedroom the second Chandler left the apartment. She was absolutely certain Chandler found her attractive, proven even further during the hug. Definite attraction; he just needed a push and she could certainly be pushy. She searched through her wardrobe, knowing she had a couple of things that would certainly make him see everything her way.
She chose something she hadn't worn before, not entirely sure why. It wasn't as if Chandler knew which one's she'd worn before. Monica shook her head to dispel the thought and changed into the little bit of fabric that pretended to be clothing. Viewing herself in the mirror, she knew she made the right choice. It left very little to the imagination and it brought out the best of her figure. Oh, god, Chandler was going to have a heart attack. She smiled at the thought; that CPR course she took would come in handy.
Monica looked around her bedroom, making sure everything was in place for a special night and then threw one last look at her reflection before moving back to the living room. She was glad she had had the foresight to close the blinds on the large window, not wanting to give ugly naked guy across the street a view of gorgeous almost-naked Monica.
She looked around to determine where she could best wait for Chandler to return. Sitting on the couch would hide most of her until he was in the room, giving him less chance to bolt. Standing with her back against the couch, on the other hand, would give her the pleasure of seeing his reaction. It wasn't very likely for anyone else to enter her apartment this evening, so Monica decided to take a chance and lean against the couch in what she hoped was a very inviting pose.
A little over a minute later she knew she had made the right choice. The glazed over look in Chandler's eyes told her loud and clear that Chandler was feeling very invited and had no intention of bolting, though he seemed clearly torn between doing just that or staying with her. "Hi handsome," she said with what she hoped was a sensual voice, when his eyes finally made it to her face. She glanced past him. "Umm, could you close the door, please?"
When he did as asked, she walked toward him, all the while looking at his face as his eyes once more traveled over the full length of her body. It gave her a thrill to see she had such an effect on him. When she stood before him she grabbed his waist and gave him a hug, silently thanking him for not running away. Again, his attraction to her became obvious.
"Mon? Wha… what's going on?"
Monica kissed him full on the lips. "You didn't seem to have caught my subtle hints before," she replied when they came up for air. She raised her eyebrows. "You're a good kisser."
He smiled his beautiful smile then. "Well, I have kissed over four different women." He quickly became serious again. "Mon, are you sure this is what you want?"
She smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm one hundred percent sure." She tilted her head. "You do want to do this too, right?" She almost regretted asking him when he released his hold on her and let out a sigh.
Did he want this? Chandler wasn't sure and he let go of her and let out a sigh. His body was definitely ready to perform, but his conscious kept screaming this was wrong. Yes, one night with Monica would be heaven and he knew he would treasure the memories forever. But that was exactly the problem. He didn't want this to be just one night. He wanted more nights.
But that introduced a new variable to the equation. How would their friends react to their relationship? Plus, if they broke up, and considering his track record this seemed very likely, things would be extremely awkward. He really had no idea what to do and why was he still holding two coffee cups? He put the two items on the kitchen counter before starting to pace around the apartment. It wasn't long before he was hindered in his pacing and found himself once again face to face with the owner of the apartment.
"Chandler, please talk to me. What's wrong?"
He looked at her face, determined to ignore the female body so blatantly displayed below it; it had already proven to be a distraction. "I'm not sure I can tell you."
"Why not? We always tell each other everything."
His eyes had darted toward her cleavage before she had uttered the first word and he found himself once again aroused. "Not this. This is about you… me… us."
"What about us?"
"We don't do this."
"Because you're not cooperating," she said with a smile, taking the sting out of the comment.
Chandler found himself smiling in response. "Don't you think this is weird?"
"No, I don't. Chandler, we've always been close, much closer than with anyone else, both of us."
Of course she was right. For some reason Monica and he clicked, and they always went to the other when something was bothering them or they were in need of support. "Yeah, but this is different. This is… more."
"That doesn't have to be bad, has it?"
Chandler didn't know how to respond. It didn't have to be bad if they both were in the same place, but he didn't think they were.
"Listen, sweetie, I'm not asking for a relationship, if that's what bothering you. Think of this as… as two friends giving each other something special."
"That's exactly the problem!" Chandler turned around in frustration, when he was proven that Monica was not in the same place as he was. He immediately regretted saying it, because now he had opened up a new can of worms.
"You don't want to do this?"
Chandler sighed again and turned back to face her. "No… Yes…" He sighed again out of frustration. "I don't want this to be a one-time deal." There, he said it.
Not a one-time deal? What was he saying? "Wha…" Monica closed her mouth again, not exactly sure what she wanted to say. "What?" He didn't reply, just looked worriedly around her apartment, as if looking for a solution to this problem. "Chandler?" He did look at her then and she could see both confusion and fear in his eyes. "Honey, tell me what you meant just now, please?"
"I… I don't want to do… this, just one night and then go back to being just friends."
Monica watched with interest and noticed something else hadn't noticed before. He looked hopeful. He looked like he had strong feelings for her. "Chandler? You… Are you… in love with me?"
"Yes… No… I don't know!"
He probably really didn't. But it gave Monica a whole new perspective on this situation, on the whole night. Heck, even some things she'd noticed in their past started to make sense. He clearly felt much more for her than he'd ever let on. Now that she thought about it, she probably felt more for him, too. Why else would she go to him late at night when she was feeling down? She could've talked to Rachel or Phoebe, when they still lived with her, about things, but she always went to Chandler. Always.
She could now also see that she'd been jealous of the women he'd been in a relationship with; jealous because they were more intimate with him than she was. Maybe that's why she had chosen Chandler tonight. The alcohol might have had just enough influence to help her make that decision, but she was sober now and hadn't backed out of it. Because she wanted to be with him; tonight was the perfect night, because nobody they knew was around to find out.
"Mon, just so you know, I'm about to make a joke about this situation."
Monica looked up a little guiltily. "Sorry, I was kinda processing this." So, now what? She didn't want to freak Chandler out even more, and she wasn't sure if he would if she confessed she wanted more, too. "Maybe we should just see how things will go?"
"You mean like… dating?"
Monica smiled slightly. He clearly was uncomfortable with the direction this was going, but at least he didn't bolt. "Yeah. Just to see where things stand." She watched him process this development, which he clearly hadn't expected. She hoped he'd reach the same conclusion as she had.
He nodded his head, slowly at first, but more enthusiastic as he seemed to reach his final conclusion. "Yeah, I think I like that idea."
Monica moved toward him, wrapped her arms around him and gave him another kiss. He really was a very good kisser, she concluded when they came back up for air. She started to blush slightly when she remembered the tips she had given him when he was dating what's-her-name. If he'd use that information, she was going to experience a very interesting, passionate night.
"So, you gonna change?"
Monica looked down at what she was wearing before looking back up at him, a mischievous grin forming. "I'm sure it's gonna come off soon." She slowly guided him toward her bedroom.
"You sure you wanna do this? Before we've dated?"
She smiled at him as he managed to get through the door of her bedroom. "Like I said before. I'm one hundred percent sure. It's not like we're strangers."
"Oh… my… god!" Wait, did he just say that out loud?
"I know!"
Chandler turned to lie on his side so he could see Monica. He had watched her earlier as she had taken off her garment, amazed at both her beauty and forwardness. She'd guided him to sit on her bed, before she'd set herself on his lap and kissed him deeply once again. And then she'd stood up in front of him, taken off that flimsy bit of fabric and shown him the part of her body he hadn't been able to see yet. And he'd seen a real big part of her before.
She'd climbed back into his lap again and once again kissed him, guiding his hands to all the places he'd never dared touch her before. Monica had been in total control and had steered their actions to arrive at the goal she'd set herself. He'd taken over when she'd undressed him and they had climbed into bed.
Unlike with Kathy, he hadn't needed to concentrate on how to please a woman, the tips he'd gotten from Monica; everything had come naturally and this was easily the most passionate night he had ever had. With leaps and bounds, even.
He'd been watching her face for a while now, mostly her eyes. They were so bright he could see them clearly in the relative darkness of the room. He bent down to kiss her, the first time he actually initiated it. She responded eagerly, half turning to him, her hands roaming over his back. He had no idea how all of this was going to play out, but right now he didn't care. He had Monica in his arms and they were going to figure out all of this, together. Life was finally looking up.