Instructions:
Read
Enjoy
Review if you feel the urge. (Not that urge! Pottymind.)
This is Pip Morgan and Race Skylark's reward for naming me the winner of their really easy to win contest, and was written in response to a random comment made by afore-mentioned esteemed authoresses which was a response to something I said, although I am not entirely certain what.
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It began with the baking of the Cheesecakes of Power. Two slices were given to the authors; developers of plot bunnies and lovers of hobbity smut. Five were given to the reviewers, faithful and supportive through the first two chapters.
And nine. Nine slices of the Cheesecake of Power were gifted to the race of non-reviewers, who above all else desire anonymity. Within these Cheesecakes was baked the strength and secret spices to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived. For another Cheesecake was made. In the land of Make Believe, in the ovens of her restaurant, the dark lady baked in secret a master Cheesecake to control all the others. And onto this Cheesecake, she poured her cruelty, her malice, her will to dominate all life, and her topping of choice- blueberries.
One Cheesecake to rule them all.
One by one, free lands in Middle-Earth fell to the power to the Cheesecake. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of anorexics and health food fanatics marched in front of the chefs of Make Believe, and on the slopes in front of the restaurant, they fought for the freedom of Middle- Earth.
Victory was near. But the power of the Cheesecake could not be undone. Martha Stewart, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Cheesecake passed to Nova, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.
As she stood above the Garbage Can of Doom, Nova felt indecision grip her. She could destroy this dessert of unspeakable evil, or she could sell it on eBay for thousands of dollars. Its lightly browned top seemed to speak softly to her, its siren call describing the wonders and marvels of home fashions that could be hers. The placemats she could make, the ice sculptures she could carve, and the unending assortment of things that she could craft from pinecones could all be hers, if only she kept the Cheesecake of Power! Nova had a vision of herself throwing the most magnificent sit-down dinner for three hundred of her closest friends, having gotten up a little early that morning to create it all herself. Lost for a good thirty minutes or so in the Cheesecake's, Nova chewed thoughtfully on the pastry's offer. Herself, the Queen of homemakers Middle- Earth over? Nova decided against it, knowing for a fact that nothing would come of it but grief, as she strongly disliked all things domestic, and had a certain knack for ruining the most rudimentary of recipes. Awaking from her reverie, Nova decided to rid the world of this cruel Cheesecake once and for all by throwing it in the Garbage Can of Doom, then realized that it was nowhere to be found. After a ten-minute hunt, she looked down and saw the blueberry stains on her shirt. Shrugging, she left the restaurant to proclaim to the gathered masses that the world was once again free of the Cheesecake of Power. After all, it had been destroyed- it didn't really matter if it had perished in the Garbage Can of Doom of her stomach, as they were both bottomless pits.
Read
Enjoy
Review if you feel the urge. (Not that urge! Pottymind.)
This is Pip Morgan and Race Skylark's reward for naming me the winner of their really easy to win contest, and was written in response to a random comment made by afore-mentioned esteemed authoresses which was a response to something I said, although I am not entirely certain what.
---
It began with the baking of the Cheesecakes of Power. Two slices were given to the authors; developers of plot bunnies and lovers of hobbity smut. Five were given to the reviewers, faithful and supportive through the first two chapters.
And nine. Nine slices of the Cheesecake of Power were gifted to the race of non-reviewers, who above all else desire anonymity. Within these Cheesecakes was baked the strength and secret spices to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived. For another Cheesecake was made. In the land of Make Believe, in the ovens of her restaurant, the dark lady baked in secret a master Cheesecake to control all the others. And onto this Cheesecake, she poured her cruelty, her malice, her will to dominate all life, and her topping of choice- blueberries.
One Cheesecake to rule them all.
One by one, free lands in Middle-Earth fell to the power to the Cheesecake. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of anorexics and health food fanatics marched in front of the chefs of Make Believe, and on the slopes in front of the restaurant, they fought for the freedom of Middle- Earth.
Victory was near. But the power of the Cheesecake could not be undone. Martha Stewart, enemy of the free peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Cheesecake passed to Nova, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.
As she stood above the Garbage Can of Doom, Nova felt indecision grip her. She could destroy this dessert of unspeakable evil, or she could sell it on eBay for thousands of dollars. Its lightly browned top seemed to speak softly to her, its siren call describing the wonders and marvels of home fashions that could be hers. The placemats she could make, the ice sculptures she could carve, and the unending assortment of things that she could craft from pinecones could all be hers, if only she kept the Cheesecake of Power! Nova had a vision of herself throwing the most magnificent sit-down dinner for three hundred of her closest friends, having gotten up a little early that morning to create it all herself. Lost for a good thirty minutes or so in the Cheesecake's, Nova chewed thoughtfully on the pastry's offer. Herself, the Queen of homemakers Middle- Earth over? Nova decided against it, knowing for a fact that nothing would come of it but grief, as she strongly disliked all things domestic, and had a certain knack for ruining the most rudimentary of recipes. Awaking from her reverie, Nova decided to rid the world of this cruel Cheesecake once and for all by throwing it in the Garbage Can of Doom, then realized that it was nowhere to be found. After a ten-minute hunt, she looked down and saw the blueberry stains on her shirt. Shrugging, she left the restaurant to proclaim to the gathered masses that the world was once again free of the Cheesecake of Power. After all, it had been destroyed- it didn't really matter if it had perished in the Garbage Can of Doom of her stomach, as they were both bottomless pits.